Dave the Dwarf
November 29, 2001 9:49 AM   Subscribe

Dave the Dwarf is an American. Although small in statue, he's taking on the entire state of Florida that denies him the right to do one thing: "[He] wants to wear a harness with handles so patrons at bars can pay to pick him up and toss him onto an air mattress or a padded area, his lawsuit said. The lawsuit, which does not seek damages, contends the ban is unconstitutional." Keep fighting the good fight, fellow patriot.
posted by mathowie (21 comments total)
"I am Dave the Dwarf! Short in stature, tall in power, narrow of purpose, and wide of vision and I do not travel with peasants and beggars, good bye!"
posted by TiggleTaggleTiger at 9:55 AM on November 29, 2001

"The law allows the state to revoke the liquor license or fine a bar that allows dwarf tossing, an activity that was popular in some Florida bars in the late 1980s."

Makes me wonder what kind of weirdos live in FL.

At the same time, I stand behind Dave the Dwarf's ingenious business idea. He's using what is usually seen as a handicap to his advantage. Good for him.
posted by Witold at 9:56 AM on November 29, 2001

Jimmy Leonard, a bouncer and truck driver in England, won the British Dwarf-Throwing Championships by tossing Lenny the Giant, a 4'4 ", 98-pound British dwarf, for a distance of eleven feet, five inches at the Worcester public house in Sutton. The record in Australia, where dwarf-tossing originated, is said to be thirty feet.

Some musings on the legal issues presented by the emergence of the art of dwarf tossing.
posted by dlewis at 10:00 AM on November 29, 2001

Important question: if the activity were "person tossing" would it have been banned? If "No," then it is clearly stature-based discrimination. If "Yes," then how to justify it, given that it is consensual behavior?

Some well-meaning individuals (often the most dangerous elements in society) urged the ban because they felt the "midgets" were being victimized.
posted by yesster at 10:03 AM on November 29, 2001

I'm surprised because I always thought 'dwarf tossing' was at least a euphemism for something else, if not some sort of urban myth (that's 'urban legend' for you Americans). Now I'm shocked to discover people actually do toss dwarves for fun. Or do they?
posted by skylar at 10:20 AM on November 29, 2001

Person tossing sounds like fun. Is "Regis Philbin Tossing" legal? I'd pay to see people pick him up and throw him across the room.
posted by ZachsMind at 10:30 AM on November 29, 2001

This is basically the same question as whether or not I should have the right to charge a person for sex. Except in our insane world, that little bastard will be flying around way before I'm selling my ass on the street.
posted by Doug at 10:31 AM on November 29, 2001

Now I'm shocked to discover people actually do toss dwarves for fun. Or do they?

Oh, they do, and it is.
posted by dcgartn at 10:32 AM on November 29, 2001

nothing wrong with dwarf tossing, in my book.. now salad on the other hand...
posted by lotsofno at 10:36 AM on November 29, 2001

God bless this man.
posted by adampsyche at 10:50 AM on November 29, 2001

this dwarf is made for tossing,
and you know it's true,
one of these days this dwarf is gonna toss all over you...
with no apologies to nancy sinatra
posted by quonsar at 10:51 AM on November 29, 2001

Toss Dwarf
Isn't it nice?
Throwing disco midgets
to a life of vice.

Toss Dwarf
On a wetbar
Being tossed by
The dumb chauffeur.
posted by Kafkaesque at 11:00 AM on November 29, 2001

Obligatory/Gratuitous Beetlejuice Link.
posted by Hankins at 11:18 AM on November 29, 2001

The ethical implications of dwarf-tossing are the subject of the first paper in one of Harvard's most popular classes: Moral Reasoning 22 (nickname: Justice). Taught by Michael Sandel. That's the reason the article dlewis linked to is on the Harvard server; it's a source article for the paper assignment.
posted by grrarrgh00 at 11:49 AM on November 29, 2001

Hmm, this sounds familiar... Ah yes, it was one of the subjects of an episode of L.A. Law.
posted by nstop at 12:35 PM on November 29, 2001

As long as they don't outlow cookie tossing(*) I have no problem.

*Also known as: ralphing, puking, hurling, calling Elvis on the porcelain telephone, chundering, selling Buicks, etc.
posted by tommasz at 12:56 PM on November 29, 2001

*and heaving the technicolor yawn.
posted by Kafkaesque at 1:23 PM on November 29, 2001

I wish I was a dwarf and could be tossed across a bar onto an air mattress or a padded area! What a fun job! And they can make six figures just for that? Remember when you were a kid and someone would toss you off the bed? Or when someone launched you across the swimming pool? That was the funnest part of being little -- you could fly with the help of a friend. Throw in over 100Gs a year for it, and you've got a happy little fuckin dwarf!
posted by David Dark at 2:26 PM on November 29, 2001

I have a 20-yearish-old memory of watching a show on TV called "World's Strongest Bodyguards." Something like that. Anyhow, Mr. T was one of the contestants (I believe that this show was his springboard to fame.) And one of the contests was dwarf tossing.

I swear I am not making this up.
posted by marknau at 6:06 PM on November 29, 2001

After a web search, I find out that the show was "World's Toughest Bouncer" and that he was throwing full-sized stuntmen, not dwarves. Which means I'm completely off-topic. Thank you, tip your waitress, drive safely.
posted by marknau at 6:55 PM on November 29, 2001

Thanks for the Krull reference, TiggleTaggleTiger!
posted by Potsy at 12:49 AM on November 30, 2001

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