"We use semicolons every day."

May 30, 2013 5:10 AM

;
posted by Fizz (41 comments total)

Calling furniture Obama; Clinton

Counterfeiting metal money; badminton
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:13 AM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]

⫶
posted by jedicus at 5:13 AM on May 30, 2013

Flagged for egregious grammatical errors
posted by etc. at 5:15 AM on May 30, 2013 [6 favorites]

Flagged for egregious grammatical errors; definitely.
posted by Fizz at 5:17 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

I have been to Oxnard.
posted by helicomatic at 5:20 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

This makes me crazy because my students have two bad habits (among others): not using semicolons correctly, and not reading/listening all the way to the end.
posted by smrtsch at 5:21 AM on May 30, 2013 [15 favorites]

I haven't laughed so hard at a lonely island video since; their first album.

Hate to see what the repercussions of people not making it all the way through will be; though.
posted by ropeladder at 5:21 AM on May 30, 2013

wait i thought we were using slash for this slash i give up
posted by aw_yiss at 5:22 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh thank god I watched this through to the end; I was ready to rip my hair out.
posted by Mizu at 5:22 AM on May 30, 2013 [4 favorites]

“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.”

― Kurt Vonnegut
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:24 AM on May 30, 2013 [5 favorites]

I don't want to watch it through to the end so I'll assume; they make it right.
posted by From Bklyn at 5:24 AM on May 30, 2013

Hardest grammar troll in the world, using 80's TV references. They are bad people. I like them.
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:26 AM on May 30, 2013 [4 favorites]

"A Brief History of Hashtag Rap"
posted by neroli at 5:26 AM on May 30, 2013 [6 favorites]

smrtsch, what was the second bad habit?
posted by cjorgensen at 5:32 AM on May 30, 2013 [7 favorites]

Some hilarious jokes in there but I fear the main cultural takeaway will be; a profusion of misused semicolons
posted by DU at 5:35 AM on May 30, 2013

Metafilter on hashtag rap back in ought 10
posted by benbenson at 5:43 AM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]

I kindof wish they didn't set themselves straight at the end as a massive troll.
posted by Think_Long at 5:44 AM on May 30, 2013

Do not use semicolons

So - ";" - it goes?
posted by the quidnunc kid at 5:44 AM on May 30, 2013

As jng pointed out in that hashtag FPP, this is best in show.
posted by benbenson at 5:46 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Semicolons? Isn't ; supposed to represent a single tear. （；_・）
posted by betweenthebars at 5:50 AM on May 30, 2013

As jng pointed out in that hashtag FPP, this is best in show.

the googles they do; nothing
posted by DU at 6:03 AM on May 30, 2013

You know who else complains about making fun of semicolons? Grammar Nazis with colostomies.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 6:20 AM on May 30, 2013

“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.”

This has lowered my estimation of Vonnegut (and not just because I'm a semicolon lover); I suppose he's a product of his time or whatever.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 6:33 AM on May 30, 2013 [6 favorites]

rap game e
e cum
mings
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:15 AM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]

“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.”

Jpfed:This has lowered my estimation of Vonnegut (and not just because I'm a semicolon lover); I suppose he's a product of his time or whatever.

This has so raised my estimation of Vonnegut, I'm actually going to get around to reading him!
(Seriously: Not eating hamburger!)
posted by Jody Tresidder at 7:44 AM on May 30, 2013

I would say a transvestite hermaphrodite represents an increasing and vital understanding that gender isn't an absolute binary.

But I'd also say semicolons can be quite useful.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 7:50 AM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]

Flagged for egregious grammatical errors

Listen to the end.
posted by Apropos of Something at 8:03 AM on May 30, 2013

Well played. I, like many people, have a very tenuous grasp of how semicolons are legimitately used. So I spent the entire video feeling vague unease. "Oh god, is THAT how they work? That doesn't seem right, but maybe?"

And then the sting at the end brought such a rush of relief. OH THANK GOD I'M NOT CRAZY!
posted by Aznable at 8:05 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Semicolons? Isn't ; supposed to represent a single tear. （；_・)

It shows you went to college and killed a fellow inmate.
posted by springload at 8:05 AM on May 30, 2013 [4 favorites]

tl;dw

 
posted by Herodios at 9:13 AM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]

tl;dw: you should have watched
posted by Blue_Villain at 9:14 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

That was about as effectively as I've ever been trolled.
posted by Kwine at 10:11 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

This is my semicolon tutorial:
Almond Joy's got nuts; Mounds don't.
posted by mcstayinskool at 10:30 AM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]

This video is going to ROCK at our next dance party; my biggest concern is that my grammar-nerd friends will be so enraged that they won't let it play through to the end
posted by ook at 10:53 AM on May 30, 2013

I've always thought they should be called supercommas.
posted by kewb at 12:09 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

I would say a transvestite hermaphrodite represents an increasing and vital understanding that gender isn't an absolute binary.

Recently I missed my period.
I went to the doctor and he told me I was only half a woman and half a man, so he couldn't run any tests for that.
"OK, then," I said, "how about a semicolonoscopy?"
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:05 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]

I've always thought they should be called supercommas.

GARY'S HIGH NOON; COOPER DRAMA
WHAT'S THE BADDEST PUNCTUATION; SUPERCOMMA
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:27 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]

“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.”


I see there's a movement to kill the apostrophe, as well.
posted by ogooglebar at 2:04 AM on May 31, 2013

WARGAMER'S CLOSET; HEX PILES
GOVERNMENT PORN STASH; X-FILES
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:44 AM on May 31, 2013 [1 favorite]

I feel sorry for the semicolon. It's survived this far, when so many of its peers are extinct -- remember :-, anyone? But yet its ecosystem has changed and I fear it must die; shall die; will die. We have built a land unsafe for punctuation. Perhaps it will soon exist only in those dusty glass cases of the near-infinite reaches of the Unicode museum.

Yet its cousin the colon is evolving into new niches. The reason: this strange new construction beloved of journalists who fear over-use of is or the slightly prissy demi-rhetorical query mark.

So I say: don't give up, little semicolon. There may be life outside the emoticon. And I'll kick that Vonnegut in the shins next time I see him; see if I don't.
posted by Devonian at 2:14 PM on May 31, 2013

MAGICAL RIDE; GONDRY
TURNING THE TIDE; LAUNDRY
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 10:25 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]