"Well, now they know."

September 14, 2013 12:13 PM

John Banvard, 95, Gerard Nadeau, 67, were married Thursday at a Chula Vista, CA Veterans' senior living facility. Mr. Banvard, a World War II vet, and Mr. Nadeau, a Vietnam vet, have been together for 20 years, and were married at the facility despite the opposition of some residents. In response to the opposition, Mr. Nadeau said, "Oh, that's their problem not mine, but you know what this will do, open the door for other people."

Last week, The Justice Department announced that post-Windsor, they will stop enforcing a federal law that prohibits the Veterans Affairs Department from providing benefits to same-sex married couples.

posted by roomthreeseventeen (32 comments total)

The real problem here is that there's a 28-year age gap between those two. Banvard is robbing the cradle!
posted by Going To Maine at 12:16 PM on September 14, 2013 [21 favorites]

Yeah, what's with these trophy husbands?!

So pleased for them, I wish them continued happiness.
posted by arcticseal at 12:22 PM on September 14, 2013 [9 favorites]

I wish them a long and beautiful marriage --- I'm just sorry they've had to wait so long.

And Mr. Banvard is absolutely right: it's only a problem for those who object to two people in love who wish to share their lives: it isn't his problem at all.
posted by easily confused at 12:27 PM on September 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

"A few veterans at the home objected and went as far as contacting the controversial Westboro Baptist Church."

You know you are on the wrong side when you give those fuckers a call asking for help.
posted by el io at 12:43 PM on September 14, 2013 [42 favorites]

Kudos on FOX (local affiliate) for quoting a reasonable, honorable bigot: "I just know that it’s against my faith and my religion, but as Americans they have a right to do what they want to do,” he said.
posted by el io at 12:46 PM on September 14, 2013 [8 favorites]

Mazel tov and may they be as happy as this couple (via TPM).
posted by longdaysjourney at 12:56 PM on September 14, 2013

"It’s been somewhat controversial,” said Asper. “I told them, they have the right to get married here just like everybody else."

This happened in my hometown, and now I think I have something in my eye.
posted by the_bone at 1:11 PM on September 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

Congratulations! Also, I want to know what Mr. Banvard is using for a moisturizer, because he looks AMAZING for 95.
posted by xingcat at 1:32 PM on September 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

Kudos on FOX (local affiliate) for quoting a reasonable, honorable bigot: "I just know that it’s against my faith and my religion, but as Americans they have a right to do what they want to do,” he said.

The person quoted is the opposite of a bigot.
posted by headnsouth at 1:37 PM on September 14, 2013 [14 favorites]

Cynic says: greedy people are afraid that old adults are having sex and will rewrite their wills.
posted by MidSouthern Mouth at 1:51 PM on September 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

there's a 28-year age gap between those two

By the standard formula for determining too-damn-young-fer-you figure (K=1/2 your age + 7), twenty years ago, when Banvard was 75, his threshhold was 44.5 and Nadeau was 47, so all's fair in love. I only mention it because the Drake Equation for Queer Dating is already pretty damned depressing and narrowing the age band unnecessarily only makes it worse.
posted by sonascope at 2:01 PM on September 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

FWIW, my husband and I currently fail the "1/2 plus 7 formula" by six years, and uh, don't care.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 2:04 PM on September 14, 2013 [4 favorites]

"A few veterans at the home objected and went as far as contacting the controversial Westboro Baptist Church."
posted by Nelson at 2:05 PM on September 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yeah, fuck the age difference thing. That kind of prescriptivism is bullshit.
posted by hippybear at 2:08 PM on September 14, 2013

Cheers to them!

I've officiated nine or eleven marriages over the last couple months, and only one time somebody objected.

I still don't understand how someone can objectively stand in the way of happiness for someone that they ostensibly love?
posted by Sphinx at 2:27 PM on September 14, 2013

The half plus seven thing is mostly only important where there are teenagers involved.
posted by Night_owl at 2:35 PM on September 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

the Drake Equation for Queer Dating

Beautiful.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 2:51 PM on September 14, 2013

Sphinx: I've officiated nine or eleven marriages over the last couple months, and only one time somebody objected.

Sphinx, do you mean objected at the "Speak now or forever hold your peace?" part. Because I've always wondered what happens in real life when somebody does that.

And congrats to the happy couple!
posted by Georgina at 3:06 PM on September 14, 2013

The people at the home who objected were given the chance to speak to the media but declined.

That says it all.
posted by leftcoastbob at 3:15 PM on September 14, 2013 [4 favorites]

I almost freaked out on that headline because I'm thinking "John Banvard must be nearly 200 years old!"

Different John Banvard, I guess.
posted by etc. at 3:18 PM on September 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

I can't believe they dignified the opposition with a town hall meeting on someone's marriage.
posted by corb at 3:20 PM on September 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

el io: ""A few veterans at the home objected and went as far as contacting the controversial Westboro Baptist Church.""

And there I was hoping the objection was because some other creaky veteran thought one or the other of the pair was hawt and that it was totally unfair he wasn't the one getting married.
posted by chavenet at 3:27 PM on September 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

God damn it, it's just the best thing when love wins.
posted by kinnakeet at 4:00 PM on September 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Aw, that's great. I am a huge big sappy moosh and am all sniffley over: Yay, people in love! Yay, people getting married! YAY, PEOPLE GETTING MARRIED WHO COULDN'T LEGALLY DO SO BEFORE!

May they have many more happy years together. I hope that twenty years from now they're being interviewed for "What's Mr. Banvard's amazing secret to health and vigor?" (And I hope the answer is "lots of love and hot sex," with a knowing wink to the camera.)
posted by Lexica at 4:34 PM on September 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

This is true bravery.
posted by Renoroc at 4:37 PM on September 14, 2013

My favorite memory of the past few years was sitting in a trailer park visiting my 80-something ultra-Christian veteran-widow grandmother-in-law, as she more or less "came out" to us about her world view, saying she's just had it UP TO HERE with ugly people co-opting her faith to justify their own hate and fear. She said she wished Jesus would fly back down and flip some tables and be all like "WHAT ARE YOU NUMBSKULLS DOING, were you not actually paying attention when I said all that stuff about love and fairness?"

Made wifeboi and I giggle and tear up. I take my own big queer family for granted, but it's such a relief that the other side has their heads on straight. Like to think she would have been a proud flower girl at this wedding, were she in partying shape.
posted by jake at 7:49 PM on September 14, 2013 [14 favorites]

Great comment, jake. Granny sounds like she was a hoot.

...went as far as contacting the controversial Westboro Baptist Church.

Hooray! I love it when those buttholes get their panties in a wad. My big hope is that their blood pressure will go so high it pops a valve. "Oh, this is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth?! I'm coming to join you, honey!"
posted by BlueHorse at 8:50 PM on September 14, 2013

I suppose it says a lot about where we are that I didn't even notice they were both guys from the summary.

I suppose it's nice that they found happiness before the end.
posted by Mezentian at 2:59 AM on September 15, 2013

♥
posted by Mental Wimp at 9:00 AM on September 15, 2013

Winter's on the way.
Someone to warm your feet on those cold winter nights.
Spooning while the sheets warm.
What could be wrong with that?

Good on them.
posted by mule98J at 10:21 AM on September 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Someone to warm your feet

True fact about gay life; your gay partner's feet are warmer than yours. Works both ways in homosexual partnerships thanks to the magic of same sex relations. This foot warming secret is the real reason the religious crazies are scared of the threat of gay marriage; once word gets out, everyone's gonna go 'mo.
posted by Nelson at 11:26 AM on September 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

your gay partner's feet are warmer than yours. Works both ways in homosexual partnerships thanks to the magic of same sex relations

Aha! Proof I'm really a trans woman, part N: My last boyfriend's feet were fucking freezing.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 1:30 PM on September 15, 2013 [1 favorite]