"Egg," the seal said. "Gub. Gleg."
November 10, 2013 8:05 AM Subscribe
You can actually watch the seal's thought process as s/he realizes "Wait, I live in Antarctica? FUCK THAT NOISE"
GLEGG is actually Seal for TAKE ME WITH YOU PARKA MAN
posted by Merzbau at 8:26 AM on November 10, 2013 [24 favorites]
GLEGG is actually Seal for TAKE ME WITH YOU PARKA MAN
posted by Merzbau at 8:26 AM on November 10, 2013 [24 favorites]
My favorite part of this clip is that when it's all over YouTube suggests I watch a bunch of clips from Crybaby.
posted by brookeb at 8:27 AM on November 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by brookeb at 8:27 AM on November 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
Young Johnny Depp does have a certain seal-like quality about him, yes
posted by Merzbau at 8:27 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Merzbau at 8:27 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Roughly translated. "Its Frrreeezzing in there. How would you fancy it".
posted by manoffewwords at 8:27 AM on November 10, 2013
posted by manoffewwords at 8:27 AM on November 10, 2013
"Maybe it's enough to just stick my head in dere. I can't see youuuuuu..."
posted by Artful Codger at 8:31 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Artful Codger at 8:31 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
I like that this sort of video usually ends with the animal happily doing what it was born to do at last, but this one ends with the seal lurching itself up out of the water almost immediately, like "oh god what in the fuck get me out of here"
posted by Ian A.T. at 8:36 AM on November 10, 2013 [19 favorites]
posted by Ian A.T. at 8:36 AM on November 10, 2013 [19 favorites]
GLEG
GLEG
A CORONA IN CANCUN IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE
NOT THIS
posted by sweetkid at 8:45 AM on November 10, 2013 [26 favorites]
GLEG
A CORONA IN CANCUN IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE
NOT THIS
posted by sweetkid at 8:45 AM on November 10, 2013 [26 favorites]
From this day on, this is how I shall express my displeasure to the world that has so disappointed me.
uuuhhhh GLUFF! BLEG!
posted by Naberius at 8:54 AM on November 10, 2013 [10 favorites]
uuuhhhh GLUFF! BLEG!
posted by Naberius at 8:54 AM on November 10, 2013 [10 favorites]
reminds me of that lazy harp seal from a while ago.
clearly though, there are different issues at play here.
posted by lampshade at 8:56 AM on November 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
clearly though, there are different issues at play here.
posted by lampshade at 8:56 AM on November 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
This raises issues I hadn't thought of before. Blubber protects the seal's body, but what protects their eyes and the inside of their noses? Are they just able to ignore the sensation of their eyes and nose being so cold all the time?
posted by oneironaut at 9:03 AM on November 10, 2013
posted by oneironaut at 9:03 AM on November 10, 2013
uuuhhhh GLUFF! BLEG!
Oh my God, dying. Don't click on this link because it kind of looks and sounds like the bad guy from Terminator 2 throwing up, drowning, farting and about to sneeze.
posted by phaedon at 9:06 AM on November 10, 2013
Oh my God, dying. Don't click on this link because it kind of looks and sounds like the bad guy from Terminator 2 throwing up, drowning, farting and about to sneeze.
posted by phaedon at 9:06 AM on November 10, 2013
Bastard researchers stole my rubber duckie, of course I'm going to complain about it.
posted by arcticseal at 9:12 AM on November 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by arcticseal at 9:12 AM on November 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
This looks and sounds remarkably like teaching children to swim, although seal flippers aren't long enough to grab you around the neck in a death vise. You also can't bribe seals with pizza.
posted by bibliowench at 9:22 AM on November 10, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by bibliowench at 9:22 AM on November 10, 2013 [8 favorites]
Face in water?
NOPE NOPE NOPE
Face in water?
Um....NOPE! NOPE!
Sleep next to hole for a bit.
Face in water?
Um...hmm...Nope?
Face in water?
Well, okay...
posted by xingcat at 9:26 AM on November 10, 2013 [6 favorites]
NOPE NOPE NOPE
Face in water?
Um....NOPE! NOPE!
Sleep next to hole for a bit.
Face in water?
Um...hmm...Nope?
Face in water?
Well, okay...
posted by xingcat at 9:26 AM on November 10, 2013 [6 favorites]
Those are basically the same faces and noises I make when the hot water goes out in the middle of January and I'm late for work and I know I have to get into the icy torture chamber eventually. The sudden nap attack is also highly accurate.
posted by elizardbits at 9:43 AM on November 10, 2013 [7 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 9:43 AM on November 10, 2013 [7 favorites]
FYI: this is not a video of R&B/soul singer Seal tentatively sticking his head into a body of water.
I am disappointed.
posted by Fizz at 9:47 AM on November 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
I am disappointed.
posted by Fizz at 9:47 AM on November 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
That seal gets out of the water about as gracefully as I do.
posted by amarynth at 9:49 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by amarynth at 9:49 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
I just want to snuggle with that seal. Preferably someplace warm, though.
posted by jaguar at 10:01 AM on November 10, 2013
posted by jaguar at 10:01 AM on November 10, 2013
He's triggering all of my enabling tendencies.
posted by bonobothegreat at 10:09 AM on November 10, 2013
posted by bonobothegreat at 10:09 AM on November 10, 2013
"You know we're never gonna survive, unless ... GLEGG! EGG!"
posted by user92371 at 10:13 AM on November 10, 2013 [9 favorites]
posted by user92371 at 10:13 AM on November 10, 2013 [9 favorites]
Me, getting out of bed and facing the day.
posted by neuromodulator at 10:16 AM on November 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by neuromodulator at 10:16 AM on November 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
Have swum in very cold water outdoors in February.
Seal is correct in report of situational analysis. Seal reaction entirely appropriate. Seal may in fact be Devonian reincarnation, regardless of small fact that Devonian not yet dead. Psychic shock may indeed traverse species, space and time, especially that caused by immersion in school swimming pool under tutelage of psycho-sadist teacher.
So much pain.
posted by Devonian at 10:17 AM on November 10, 2013 [7 favorites]
Seal is correct in report of situational analysis. Seal reaction entirely appropriate. Seal may in fact be Devonian reincarnation, regardless of small fact that Devonian not yet dead. Psychic shock may indeed traverse species, space and time, especially that caused by immersion in school swimming pool under tutelage of psycho-sadist teacher.
So much pain.
posted by Devonian at 10:17 AM on November 10, 2013 [7 favorites]
Jumping into an inky black hole of ice water is an idiotic and dangerous thing to do. So sad to see a young one succumb to peer pressure.
posted by sourwookie at 10:22 AM on November 10, 2013
posted by sourwookie at 10:22 AM on November 10, 2013
I thought it was only the sealions in SF that succumbed to pier pressure?
I'll get my coat...
posted by Devonian at 10:23 AM on November 10, 2013 [8 favorites]
I'll get my coat...
posted by Devonian at 10:23 AM on November 10, 2013 [8 favorites]
Watching this makes me think how horrible it would be if instead of dipping a toe or finger in to test the water, you had to dip your face. Shudder.
Also seal nostrils are fascinating.
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:26 AM on November 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
Also seal nostrils are fascinating.
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:26 AM on November 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
Seals sound surprisingly like men who have been unwillingly transmuted (via curse) into seal bodies and are trying desperately to free themselves.
posted by forgetful snow at 10:28 AM on November 10, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by forgetful snow at 10:28 AM on November 10, 2013 [8 favorites]
I just want to pour him a warm bath!
posted by Space Kitty at 10:43 AM on November 10, 2013
posted by Space Kitty at 10:43 AM on November 10, 2013
Glub gleg indeed, little seal, glub gleg indeed.
posted by bleep at 10:51 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by bleep at 10:51 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Seals able to change their form to human are an enduring Nordic myth - the Selkies - and if you spend any time at all in the company of wild seals doing their pinniped thing, it becomes immediately obvious why it's such a compelling idea.
Evolutionarily, they're most closely related to bears, weasels, otters and badgers, all of which have complex, playful behaviour that is easily anthropomorphised - and it's no great leap to think of a future post-human world where one of those lines develops into a fully self-aware social species capable of technological developments. It may not be the dolphins or the cephalopods, people! I for one welcome our space-going sea-otter overlords (but yeah, watch your backs).
posted by Devonian at 10:52 AM on November 10, 2013 [10 favorites]
Evolutionarily, they're most closely related to bears, weasels, otters and badgers, all of which have complex, playful behaviour that is easily anthropomorphised - and it's no great leap to think of a future post-human world where one of those lines develops into a fully self-aware social species capable of technological developments. It may not be the dolphins or the cephalopods, people! I for one welcome our space-going sea-otter overlords (but yeah, watch your backs).
posted by Devonian at 10:52 AM on November 10, 2013 [10 favorites]
Forgets how to seal.
posted by gallois at 10:57 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by gallois at 10:57 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Blubber protects the seal's body, but what protects their eyes and the inside of their noses?
They have a nictating membrane--a "thin, tough, transparent or translucent membrane, or ‘inner eyelid’, found in various species of birds, reptiles, amphibians and fish, but less common in mammals. The nictitating membrane can be drawn across the eye to protect it from damage, or to moisten the eye whilst maintaining vision."
This and other fun Weddell seal facts found here. Some highlights:
--Holes in the ice, for breathing and hauling out, are created and maintained by cutting and sawing at the ice with the teeth
--The Weddell seal is one of the noisiest seal species, and has an extensive underwater repertoire, with at least 34 different call types recorded, including whistles, buzzes, tweets and chirps. The calls show some regional variation, and are usually audible from some distance, and even from above the ice
posted by HotToddy at 11:01 AM on November 10, 2013 [6 favorites]
They have a nictating membrane--a "thin, tough, transparent or translucent membrane, or ‘inner eyelid’, found in various species of birds, reptiles, amphibians and fish, but less common in mammals. The nictitating membrane can be drawn across the eye to protect it from damage, or to moisten the eye whilst maintaining vision."
This and other fun Weddell seal facts found here. Some highlights:
--Holes in the ice, for breathing and hauling out, are created and maintained by cutting and sawing at the ice with the teeth
--The Weddell seal is one of the noisiest seal species, and has an extensive underwater repertoire, with at least 34 different call types recorded, including whistles, buzzes, tweets and chirps. The calls show some regional variation, and are usually audible from some distance, and even from above the ice
posted by HotToddy at 11:01 AM on November 10, 2013 [6 favorites]
reminds me of my dogs at bath time
posted by photoslob at 11:25 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by photoslob at 11:25 AM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Maybe it just didn't want to be a loose seal.
posted by Danf at 11:39 AM on November 10, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by Danf at 11:39 AM on November 10, 2013 [5 favorites]
The noises they make are indeed audible from above the ice, though if course it's more interesting to lie down and put your ear to the ice to get the full effect. They sound like special effects from a 60s sci-fi film, often rather incongruously high-pitched for such large animals.
The funny thing about this video is that for most of the year, the ocean IS a warm bath compared to the air--a nice consistent -2 C versus the -40 temperatures on the surface. Weddell seals are the only mammals that can spend the whole winter under the sea ice, which keeps them safe from orcas and leopard seals. The trade-off is that they have to keep their air-holes open with constant gnawing and defend them from intruders, and having to so carefully defend your access to oxygen seems like a claustrophobic and nerve-wracking way to spend a very long winter. And eventually it wears out their teeth.
For these reasons, it is inevitable that any hole you make in the ice in McMurdo Sound (for putting instruments in the water, for instance, or for scuba diving) will eventually get visited by a Weddell seal, which will explosively exhale when it surfaces and cover your dive hut in seal snot. I've never experienced this myself, but I've heard a number of first-hand accounts.
posted by fermion at 11:50 AM on November 10, 2013 [49 favorites]
The funny thing about this video is that for most of the year, the ocean IS a warm bath compared to the air--a nice consistent -2 C versus the -40 temperatures on the surface. Weddell seals are the only mammals that can spend the whole winter under the sea ice, which keeps them safe from orcas and leopard seals. The trade-off is that they have to keep their air-holes open with constant gnawing and defend them from intruders, and having to so carefully defend your access to oxygen seems like a claustrophobic and nerve-wracking way to spend a very long winter. And eventually it wears out their teeth.
For these reasons, it is inevitable that any hole you make in the ice in McMurdo Sound (for putting instruments in the water, for instance, or for scuba diving) will eventually get visited by a Weddell seal, which will explosively exhale when it surfaces and cover your dive hut in seal snot. I've never experienced this myself, but I've heard a number of first-hand accounts.
posted by fermion at 11:50 AM on November 10, 2013 [49 favorites]
--The Weddell seal is one of the noisiest seal species, and has an extensive underwater repertoire, with at least 34 different call types recorded, including whistles, buzzes, tweets and chirps. The calls show some regional variation, and are usually audible from some distance, and even from above the ice
posted by HotToddy
A seal is one of only two mammals I've ever heard of who could really imitate human speech:
posted by HotToddy
A seal is one of only two mammals I've ever heard of who could really imitate human speech:
Hoover (1971? – July 25, 1985) was a harbor seal who was able to imitate basic human speech.[2]posted by jamjam at 12:07 PM on November 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
He was an orphan when he was found by George and Alice Swallow in Maine in 1971. George and Alice decided to take him home. At first the baby seal didn't want to eat, but soon he ate at the pace of a vacuum cleaner (hence his name). When Hoover outgrew the bathtub, he was transferred to the pond outside their house where he began to imitate people's voices. Again he was moved, this time to the New England Aquarium, where he told visitors to "Get outta here!" or "Well Hello Deah" in a thick New England accent. [3]
SEAL: There's a killer whale.
HUMAN: Go in, fraidy-cat!
SEAL: Dude, no, seriously, there's a killer whale. I can see it. It's right there.
HUMAN: Bwaaawk! Buh-bwaaawk!
SEAL: You know what? Getting eaten by a killer whale is better than taking shit from you. Later, asshole.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:14 PM on November 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
HUMAN: Go in, fraidy-cat!
SEAL: Dude, no, seriously, there's a killer whale. I can see it. It's right there.
HUMAN: Bwaaawk! Buh-bwaaawk!
SEAL: You know what? Getting eaten by a killer whale is better than taking shit from you. Later, asshole.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:14 PM on November 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
Whoa, Hoover the talking seal sounds like a big old fella auctioning something off. In fact, I bet that would make a good quiz - Animal or Auctioneer.
posted by lucidium at 12:38 PM on November 10, 2013
posted by lucidium at 12:38 PM on November 10, 2013
If you compared (the thankfully nonexistent) footage of my first childhood swimming lesson and this Youtube video, there would be an awful lot of similarities. Except I had an increasingly exasperated swimming teacher for company, not giggling scientists, and I never did actually get all the way into the pool.
I feel for you, little reluctant seal. *raises glass and gub-glegs in solidarity*
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:01 PM on November 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
I feel for you, little reluctant seal. *raises glass and gub-glegs in solidarity*
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:01 PM on November 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
I am pretty sure that at the very end the seal starts to realize it's slipping off its perch on the ice but it doesn't know how to slow itself down so suddenly it ends up in the water and it's genuinely pissed off at itself. That's how I feel whenever I try to go swimming in the ocean for the first time each summer.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 1:09 PM on November 10, 2013
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 1:09 PM on November 10, 2013
Maybe it just didn't want to be a loose seal.
Seal of disapproval.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:30 PM on November 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
Seal of disapproval.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:30 PM on November 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
Hoover sounds like some Indian friends of the family, especially with the HELLO HELLO!
posted by sweetkid at 3:26 PM on November 10, 2013
posted by sweetkid at 3:26 PM on November 10, 2013
Again he was moved, this time to the New England Aquarium, where he told visitors to "Get outta here!" or "Well Hello Deah" in a thick New England accent.
"every Mame and Jane and Ruth
from Weehawken to Duluth
slide, ride, glide the Michigan..."
posted by benzenedream at 7:30 PM on November 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
"every Mame and Jane and Ruth
from Weehawken to Duluth
slide, ride, glide the Michigan..."
posted by benzenedream at 7:30 PM on November 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
Chickens are plentiful, Mama. The world will never be without chickens—you can be sure of that.
posted by sonascope at 7:36 PM on November 10, 2013
posted by sonascope at 7:36 PM on November 10, 2013
That uncannily resembles me trying to avoid doing something I really dislike.
posted by blue shadows at 7:47 PM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by blue shadows at 7:47 PM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Harbor seal high-fives Stephen Drew of the Boston Red Sox.
posted by adamg at 7:59 PM on November 10, 2013
posted by adamg at 7:59 PM on November 10, 2013
Between the sounds and those eyes.. oh the eyes kill me. My number one favoritest dog looks like a golden seal if she slicks her ears back and looks with big doeish eyes. http://i.imgur.com/Bu9Rt.jpg
posted by drewbage1847 at 8:15 PM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by drewbage1847 at 8:15 PM on November 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Seeing this seal pup's pain just melted my heart (despite how cold it apparently is there with that thick crust of ice!) I really needed this.
posted by honey badger at 9:37 PM on November 10, 2013
posted by honey badger at 9:37 PM on November 10, 2013
This is a surprising sentiment coming from the honey badger.
posted by bleep at 5:33 PM on November 11, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by bleep at 5:33 PM on November 11, 2013 [2 favorites]
1:11 "Maybe if I close my eyes they'll disappear... *peeks*. Nope, still there. I'll try again... *peeks*. GLEGS!!"*
*Glegs is clearly Sealese for You Bastards
posted by billiebee at 6:59 AM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]
*Glegs is clearly Sealese for You Bastards
posted by billiebee at 6:59 AM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]
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posted by angrycat at 8:11 AM on November 10, 2013