"Pork" and Beans
November 13, 2013 1:56 PM   Subscribe

 
Once in a while a combination of words will appear that I never even considered to juxtapose and yet bring me so much giddy delight.

"Ian Bogost writes about the McRib" is such a combination.
posted by griphus at 1:57 PM on November 13, 2013 [4 favorites]


As you gaze into the McRib, the McRib gazes into you.
posted by hellojed at 2:01 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


Wait, I read all that and the McRib isn't actually back yet? Fuck.
posted by charred husk at 2:03 PM on November 13, 2013 [6 favorites]


Oh it's back. At least in the Chicago area it is. I drive by the plant that makes these things and the trucks are lined up down the street.
posted by JoeZydeco at 2:04 PM on November 13, 2013


I'm deconstructin' it
posted by theodolite at 2:05 PM on November 13, 2013 [15 favorites]


I expected this article to be Ian Bogost proving how awful McRibs are by making millions of dollars selling them.
posted by rustcrumb at 2:06 PM on November 13, 2013 [4 favorites]


McRibbed, for his pleasure.
posted by Kabanos at 2:08 PM on November 13, 2013 [5 favorites]


Serious question. Is the McRib good?
posted by jayder at 2:09 PM on November 13, 2013




Serious question. Is the McRib good?

Do you have a palate for the textures and tastes of fast food? If so, yeah, it's pretty good and satisfying although from what I remember the last time I had one, it's a little too sweet for me.
posted by griphus at 2:11 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I have eaten the restructured pork patty pressed into the rough shape of a slab of ribs
that was in the icebox

posted by 0 answers at 2:11 PM on November 13, 2013 [26 favorites]


Serious question. Is the McRib good?

It's like a ridged pork-based Salisbury steak covered in barbecue sauce. It's... fine, I guess? But no better than if you bought a cheap frozen ground pork patty and covered it with bottled sauce.
posted by showbiz_liz at 2:12 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


jayder: Serious question. Is the McRib good?

I love me some fast food every once in a while, and I do not like the McRib. It's not horrible, but it's not better than a burger.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:13 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


And not to dismiss all the high-falutin' philsophy going on in this article, there might be a more grounded economic reason for the McRib's arrival and departure: The McRib as Arbitrage.
posted by JoeZydeco at 2:14 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


I always eat one of these with a Shamrock Shake and an Inca Kola before my bypass surgery.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:14 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


I have eaten the restructured pork patty pressed into the rough shape of a slab of ribs
that was in the icebox


And which you were probably saving
To fill the puncture in your spare tire

Forgive me, it was denatured
So meatlike
And so cold
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:15 PM on November 13, 2013 [36 favorites]


Thank God somebody came in and finished that. Those first two lines hanging there were like a McRib without a pickle.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:16 PM on November 13, 2013 [6 favorites]


If you look into the bathroom mirror and say "McRib" 3 times you'll get diarrhea.
posted by Mick at 2:17 PM on November 13, 2013 [22 favorites]


A McRib is less questionable than a typical hot dog.

I still wouldn't eat it, though.
posted by Foosnark at 2:17 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Guatamalan archaeologists recently discovered an ancient Mayan tableau centerpiece that is believed to depict all past and future coincidences of the McRib and this mortal plane
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:20 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Ian Bogost writes about the McRib" is such a combination.

It's a Markov universe, and we're just living in it.
posted by Iridic at 2:20 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


The pickle and onion really tie the sandwich together.
posted by mikelieman at 2:21 PM on November 13, 2013 [6 favorites]


I have no bone to pick with the McRib.
posted by Kabanos at 2:23 PM on November 13, 2013 [5 favorites]


I don't believe we've ever had this in Australia, or if we have I didn't notice. It looks pretty fail.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:23 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


You could take out the crockpot buy a pork shoulder and some hamburger buns and have all the porky sandwiches you could handle for well under $10.
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:24 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


I had a bite of one the last time they were around and it was a bad thing that I don't want to do again. The mouthfeel is very strange and unpleasant and the flavour is not tasty enough to make up for the weirdness.
posted by elizardbits at 2:25 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


I will 'fess up and say my eating habits are not on the Heart Association's short list of exemplarary diets. I have been known to each a Big Mac or a double cheeseburger or two. I eat hot dogs at baseball games. I loves me some pizza.

There is no amount of money that would entice me to eat a McRibb sandwich.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 2:26 PM on November 13, 2013


The McRib Sandwich is what Pink Slime laughs at when it wants to feel superior.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:29 PM on November 13, 2013 [8 favorites]


Yeah, the texture of the meat, as soft and easy to chew as the whitebread bun it is on, ruins the McRib. Also the sauce is too sweet.
posted by Bookhouse at 2:29 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I don't eat meat, so there's that. But I really don't get all the furor over this. Aren't there 100 other shitty frozen options in the supermarket freezer aisle that will be just about as (un)appealing? Am I that out of touch with the rest of the planet? I never thought so before, but the McRib gives me pause.
posted by nevercalm at 2:30 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


i think you mean the "meat"
posted by elizardbits at 2:31 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Don't listen to these people. It's a pork patty on a bun with BBQ sauce, onion and pickle. It has kind of a soft texture like everything else at McDonalds. It's not terrible. Actually pretty good once a year.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 2:31 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


When I worked at Subway it had a "rib" sandwich, complete with fake indentations in the "meat" where the "ribs" were supposed to be, and nobody writes poems about that thing.
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:34 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm not sure if they're still making them (they are!), but in the UK we've got this company called Dalepak that makes the same kind of awful compressed meat by-product shapes. I can remember my mother sometimes buying them in the 80s. They were definitely 'poor people food', on a par with scrawny low-meat-percentage burgers and garishly pink sausages.

God, I hated them. Especially the lamb and mint ones.

I've noticed that, in recent years, processed meat products have contained far fewer bits of gristle and bone (I can remember having to chew the things really carefully to avoid unpleasant surprises). I'd imagine the processes and chemicals used to mechanically recover what's left of a pig or sheep or cow and bind it into a shoddy facsimile of a steak are much more advanced than they used to be.
posted by pipeski at 2:35 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


The McRib does not compare to actual ribs like a Big Mac pales in comparison to a real burger but, like a Big Mac, it has a certain culinary charm.
posted by nathancaswell at 2:35 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


Here is what an uncooked McRib looks like

how strange that this heavily processed fast food product is much less appetizing in appearance when frozen and uncooked this is shocking to me
posted by ook at 2:36 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


PS Union Grounds in Carroll Gardens has fries which I swear to God taste exactly like McDonalds fries. Like, if there were a McDonalds nearby I'd suspect they just ran out the back door every time someone ordered them.
posted by nathancaswell at 2:37 PM on November 13, 2013


So is "I won't eat [particular fast food item]" the new "I don't own a TV" ?

I don't really understand questions like "does it taste good". Like I don't know, does zucchini taste good? Some people are going to say yes, other people are going to say no. People claiming they can't stomach fast food comes across with about as much meaning for me.

Either way, the McRib is fascinating. Yeah, people DON'T write poems about Subway brand pressed & shaped pork sandwiches.
posted by danny the boy at 2:49 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


You could take out the crockpot buy a pork shoulder and some hamburger buns and have all the porky sandwiches you could handle for well under $10.

You can DIY whatever you want, it's still not a McRib.

pointing out that that you can take x and make y instead of whatever someplace is selling is not informative or revalatory to anyone.
posted by Dr. Twist at 2:56 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


And that's also where the article loses me. I think the premise is a really interesting one, but the author rests it (completely unnecessarily) on the assumption that the reader also finds the McRib to be patently unappetizing.

Which is a really odd idea, given the amount of passion and fandom that that writer references elsewhere in the article, but also given that we know that McDonald's is hugely good at what it does. Like someone else has said before, of course their food tastes good. Do you think they haven't spend millions of dollars in R&D to make sure their product is appealing to as many people as possible?
posted by danny the boy at 2:57 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


I believe that Bogost, in the very article linked above, addresses some of these concerns: yes, the McRib is about as gross as any other processed food, and indeed is more or less the pig equivalent of the chicken nugget. What makes the McRib an interesting focus of analysis is that McDonalds seems to go out of its way to celebrate this badness in their viral marketing for the product. Other menu items are positioned as being hearty, having natural ingredients and their processed nature is downplayed. You infrequently find a hotdog company trying to remind you of how sausage is made, so to speak.
posted by codacorolla at 2:57 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


Aren't there 100 other shitty frozen options in the supermarket freezer aisle that will be just about as (un)appealing?

So I'll eat anything, and I have enjoyed a McRib or two in my day...but they taste exactly like frozen soy fake bbq products. Really. It's uncanny. There's actually no need ("need") to consume McRibs at all, you can get the same damn thing with probably a lot less sodium in the freezer aisle.

It is a fascinating product, though. My favorite bit of McRibiana is this button: what a curious way to advertise something. It's only a little bit removed from someone saying "this is gross, have a bite!" But of course, most people will take that bite.
posted by troika at 2:57 PM on November 13, 2013


When I worked at Subway it had a "rib" sandwich, complete with fake indentations in the "meat" where the "ribs" were supposed to be, and nobody writes poems about that thing.

Yeah, people DON'T write poems about Subway brand pressed & shaped pork sandwiches.

Five
Five dollar
Five dollar food soooong

Suueee suueee!

Pig
Pig wallow
Pig wallow food wroooong
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:58 PM on November 13, 2013 [9 favorites]


I know I say this every time but the MicRib is essentially a terrine, a forcemeat loaf. Aside from the lack of aspic it might as well be a galantine. It is also not uncommon to shape pate into the shape of an animal, or part of an animal, thus the McRib's customary shape is also in line with culinary traditions. Far from gross I find it an charmingly accessible version of tranditional french cookery most people will never experience.

Are they good? Actually yes but not for the reasons you might think. The pork does not really provide that much flavor but acts as a conveyance.

The interplay between the tartness of the sauce and pickle and the fat content and mouthfeel of the pork terrine is what makes it work.
posted by Ad hominem at 3:01 PM on November 13, 2013 [19 favorites]


pointing out that that you can take x and make y instead of whatever someplace is selling is not informative or revalatory to anyone.

Explain this to my grandmother I beg you.
posted by griphus at 3:01 PM on November 13, 2013 [8 favorites]


You could take out the crockpot buy a pork shoulder and some hamburger buns and have all the porky sandwiches you could handle for well under $10.

You can also go the effort route like Something Awful user agentseven did for Iron Chef SA 50 (SA thread, probably requires registration/archives access). His (her?) final McRib looked like this, which included homemade pickles and also fries and ketchup.

Also, if the McRib just isn't enough for you you can go the opposite direction and assemble this, purportedly originating from Germany.
posted by edeezy at 3:04 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think the premise is a really interesting one, but the author rests it (completely unnecessarily) on the assumption that the reader also finds the McRib to be patently unappetizing.

Really? I got completely the opposite impression of his point. His argument is that the McRib represents everything about McDonald's that people crave from the experience. It's categorically appetizing to people.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:06 PM on November 13, 2013


I know I say this every time but the MicRib is essentially a terrine, a forcemeat loaf. Aside from the lack of aspic it might as well be a galantine. It is also not uncommon to shape pate into the shape of an animal, or part of an animal, thus the McRib's customary shape is also in line with culinary traditions. Far from gross I find it an charmingly accessible version of tranditional french cookery most people will never experience.

This point is also made in the article. The difference between high end modernist cuisine and low brow junk food is mostly a question of scale and a matter of price.
posted by codacorolla at 3:06 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


So this is like a high-class version of the Scottish “King Rib”, then?
posted by scruss at 3:08 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


McRib Locator (previously)
posted by linux at 3:10 PM on November 13, 2013


You could take out the crockpot buy a pork shoulder and some hamburger buns and have all the porky sandwiches you could handle for well under $10.

But it wouldn't be ready to eat in well under 10 minutes.
Disclaimer: I've never eaten a McRib, and never plan to.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:13 PM on November 13, 2013


His (her?) final McRib looked like this, which included homemade pickles and also fries and ketchup.

What is that, a baguette sliced in half? Why go through all that effort and then completely phone it in on the bun?
posted by nathancaswell at 3:13 PM on November 13, 2013


McMeetup anyone?
posted by griphus at 3:14 PM on November 13, 2013




Wait, there is a pickle on this sandwich? I think that might be the worst part of the whole idea.
posted by helicomatic at 3:17 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


CHOMP
posted by Token Meme at 3:22 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


McRib is a memory of simpler times – of cool pitchers of lemonade on hot summer days and respect for one’s elders.

Actually, McRib may even be made of one's elders.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:26 PM on November 13, 2013


The McRib's return is the sign that I can start listening to Christmas carols.
posted by Area Man at 3:28 PM on November 13, 2013


Pretty much where talk of the McRib takes me every time now.
posted by nanojath at 3:28 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Marisa Stole the Precious Thing: "Really? I got completely the opposite impression of his point. His argument is that the McRib represents everything about McDonald's that people crave from the experience. It's categorically appetizing to people."

My read on it was that he was saying the McRib is an admission of sorts, their truest sandwich whose brief availability makes the euphemism we wrap the entire rest of the menu in palatable the rest of the year.

But he also makes it clear that we should find the sandwich dubious; calling the "ground pork" label in the ingredients list a deception, because no one would eat a "McTripe".

I like his main argument, but I don't think it requires the premise that most people find it gross--just as I don't think that as an item for the true believers, one must know and revel in the way the sausage is made in order to truly enjoy the McRib. I think it's possible and probable that many people just enjoy the McRib qua McRib.

I see it as a planned sub-culture (in the most innocuous way) within the greater McDonald's landscape.
posted by danny the boy at 3:31 PM on November 13, 2013


The McRib is to fast food as South Park is to animation*. Fast food and cartoons have an unavoidable artificiality that we have gradually grown accustomed to, and even fondly familiar with. McRib and South Park don't hide it, but put it boldly forward and delight in it.

I liked McRibs as a kid, but I had one a few years ago, and ruined another childhood memory.

*I'm not trying to pick any fights with South Park fans, I'm just making a reference to the animation style.
posted by neutralmojo at 3:45 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


The only thing I ever craved from McDonald's was air conditioning, a place to sit down, and a relatively clean restroom. When my kid was little, it was also an indoor playground where Mommy could read for five goddamn minutes in peace for the price of a drink and some fries. I heartily wished for a similar amenity somewhere with better food, but alas, gay-hating Chik-fil-A was the only other playground restaurant around. I would have gladly paid twice as much for dinner at any place that would let my kid play safely and sold me better food.

I never eat McD's food without regret. And while I'm not a food purist, I do love actual ribs far too much to eat this faux-rib thing. Whereas burgers and fries, eh. They're already defined as quicky foods. McDonalds can make bad ones, but it doesn't feel like an insult to the source idea in the same way.
posted by emjaybee at 3:48 PM on November 13, 2013


Oh my God, they killed Wilbur!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:48 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


/edit abuse
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:51 PM on November 13, 2013


Does anybody actually care about the McRib? It's just a lump of ground up snouts that looks like Neil Armstrong stepped on it. If not for the "MCRIB IS BACK!!!" hype, I really doubt they'd sell.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:11 PM on November 13, 2013 [4 favorites]


Wait, there is a pickle on this sandwich? I think that might be the worst part of the whole idea.

For some reason that's the only thing that makes it have some sort of weird, tantalizing appeal to me and makes me want to try it. And I don't normally like pickles on sandwiches all that much. Vegetarian now anyway so the only fast food burger I get is the BK Veggie, which I personally like very much when I want to fill the rare fast food craving.
posted by Drinky Die at 4:17 PM on November 13, 2013


I'm telling you guys. The thin, soggy, super sour pickles make the sandwich. They are like pickles where the cucumber just gave up trying to maintain any kind of structural integrity.
posted by Ad hominem at 4:20 PM on November 13, 2013


Whenever I eat at McDs, I feel both disappointed and guilty, I can't imagine the McRib is going to change that, although it might lean more toward guilty and disgusted.
posted by doctor_negative at 4:39 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Nobody eats a McRib because they're *good*.

People (myself included) go through and order the combo that gives you an *additional* McRib sandwich for just a dollar more, because FUCK YEAH MCRIB.

Although there's times I wish I could tell them "Please scrape off about 75% of the sauce before you slap the parts together". Tried to order one once with no BBQ sauce and Mac sauce instead, they said it wasn't possible because the patties stew in the sauce.
posted by mrbill at 4:41 PM on November 13, 2013


When the McRib comes back each year, I jettison whatever my lunch plan was for that day and get one. Is it good, wholesome food that compares to what your grandma used to make? No. Is it made from Soylent Green? Maybe. Is it delicious? Fuck yes it is.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:51 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


When it comes to McDonald's, the nuggets with hot mustard remains the only thing on the menu I can say I enjoy, though it has been years. Fully cognizant of how these nuggets are made. The summer I spent working there we got creative with menu parts - the One Pounder, for example, or apple pies instead of bread for fish fillet sandwiches - but the nuggets were just consistently good.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:53 PM on November 13, 2013


They got rid of the hot mustard sauce. Fuckers.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:54 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


So how does it go with fries and a coke?

Those are the only reasons to go to McDonalds
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:55 PM on November 13, 2013


Whenever people show pictures of how weird/gross fast food looks uncooked, I wonder if they've ever handled a whole raw chicken. If we're just talking about what I'd prefer to look at, I'll take the thing that less resembles a dead body. Took me years to be able to handle raw chicken once I was living on my own; ground beef has never bugged me. I dunno why molded frozen ground meat is squicky but, like, molded artificially-colored sweetened boiled collagen derivative is not, for most people.
posted by Sequence at 4:55 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


Tripe? Oh, I'm mad about tripe.
-- New Yorker cartoon by Philip Wylie, two well-dressed ladies on street, 1926
posted by dhartung at 5:01 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


Wait, there is a pickle on this sandwich? I think that might be the worst part of the whole idea.

Why is this weird? BBQ pork is eaten with pickles all the time. In fact, I can't think of any BBQ spot I've ever been too that didn't serve pickles and white bread with the meal.
posted by nathancaswell at 5:01 PM on November 13, 2013 [11 favorites]


I believe this so firmly I am going to favorite my own comment.
posted by nathancaswell at 5:02 PM on November 13, 2013 [14 favorites]


Yeah, pickle on barbecue is amazing. Gotta have it.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:05 PM on November 13, 2013


It used to be said that meat packing houses used every part of the pig but the squeal. The McRib is a genuinely new invention and the whole reason battery pig farms exist: it is made of nothing but the pig's pain and suffering, captured, condensed and packed into a solid.
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:24 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


I was trying to imagine a Serious Eats style gourmet DIY version of the McRib and then decided that with that kind of effort I should go to a Korean restaurant and eat the Korean gourmet version of the McRib - ddeokgalbi.

Also I did not realize the McRib was a fall seasonal item, for some reason I thought it was more randomly scheduled. Is there also a regular schedule for McDonald's Monopoly rollout because then I can move out of walking distance from McDonalds and avoid my all nugget, all fries diet for the duration of the game. WHY ARE THOSE GAME PIECES SO ENTICING.
posted by spamandkimchi at 6:40 PM on November 13, 2013


It would actually be kind of cool if they didn't mix the by-products but kept them sorted and allowed you to chose from a specialty menu. The McScrotum™. The McUvula™. The McSpineScrapings™. Try them all!
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:54 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


The McRib would be much funnier if it came with embedded white plastic “rib bones” you could gnaw the meat off of.
posted by mubba at 6:58 PM on November 13, 2013 [5 favorites]


if it came with embedded white plastic “rib bones”

Awesome. Then it wouldn't just be a McBowel, it'd be a Roddy McBowel
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:05 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


I didn't find that this article either explicated the McRib by way of Lacan, or illuminated Lacan by way of the McRib. The arbitrage theory seems plausible. Otherwise, the McRib seems like an unmysteriously failed kitsch product resurrected with some success as a camp product, like John Travolta or PBR.
posted by batfish at 7:36 PM on November 13, 2013


I have a suspicion you guys are just fucking with me about the pickles, but I will ask for some the next time I go to the barbecue place.

I bet they don't even have pickles.
posted by helicomatic at 8:04 PM on November 13, 2013


They are essential for good Italian food too, according to a great Korean show called Pasta.
posted by Drinky Die at 8:15 PM on November 13, 2013


There is no amount of money that would entice me to eat a McRibb sandwich.

I wager you'd do it for $100.
posted by Brocktoon at 8:21 PM on November 13, 2013


I actually think it is only texas style BBQ, you know smoked brisket, that comes with white bread and pickles.

Someone plz confirm.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:21 PM on November 13, 2013


So I'll eat anything, and I have enjoyed a McRib or two in my day...but they taste exactly like frozen soy fake bbq products. Really. It's uncanny. There's actually no need ("need") to consume McRibs at all, you can get the same damn thing with probably a lot less sodium in the freezer aisle.

Actually, one Morningstar Farms 'Riblet' patty contains 620mg of sodium, or 26% of the average RDA. Now we can all eat like shit together!
posted by mintcake! at 8:26 PM on November 13, 2013


I've eaten BBQ up and down the eastern seaboard, and I've never had my pulled pork served with a pickle.
posted by codacorolla at 8:33 PM on November 13, 2013


The McRib would be much funnier if it came with embedded white plastic “rib bones” you could gnaw the meat off of.

I love you guys
posted by device55 at 8:42 PM on November 13, 2013


Now I'm looking up BBQ menus, thanks metafilter.

has pickles, has pickles

Not looking at anymore untill I have access to BBQ.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:48 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


double block and bleed: "They got rid of the hot mustard sauce. Fuckers."

I never see it listed as a choice, but since I put it on my fries, I ask for it and have never failed to get it. Just ask and you shall receive.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:54 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


There is no amount of money that would entice me to eat a McRibb sandwich.

Brocktoon: "I wager you'd do it for $100.
"

$100 is low. I cannot go into the full story here, but suffice it to say that the only time I tried a McRib I ended up making an emergency stop at the Vince Lombardi service area of the NJ Turnpike. Do not, ever, use stall number one.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:00 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm glad someone else admitted to liking McRibs first. They're aight. Mostly a delivery system for BBQ sauce, really.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:02 PM on November 13, 2013


It would actually be kind of cool if they didn't mix the by-products but kept them sorted and allowed you to chose from a specialty menu. The McScrotum™. The McUvula™. The McSpineScrapings™. Try them all!

Maybe McDonalds should create a Meat Shake (this entire album is worth a listen) and allow you to mix your own ingredients - beef, chicken, McRib, and "Turkey Jerky" into a single meat shake - like a Coca-Cola 'Free-Style' machine.
posted by Golden Eternity at 9:33 PM on November 13, 2013


I've eaten BBQ up and down the eastern seaboard, and I've never had my pulled pork served with a pickle.

What does the eastern seaboard know about BBQ?
posted by Dr. Twist at 11:31 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


The McRib would be much funnier if it came with embedded white plastic “rib bones” you could gnaw the meat off of.


If they used wood they could claim it's organic!
posted by Pudhoho at 11:31 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I finally had one last time I was home. It was underwhelming. The single patty doesn't really have enough bite to it to be all that noticeable against the bun. The double patty, while pretty much a death wish, is the only way to really notice the meat, which is nothing to write home about. Meanwhile, it's covered in sauce that, if it was your first taste of BBQ sauce, I would totally understand if you thought 'what is this sugary brown goo? why is it on meat?'

I'm not shocked it has fans. I mean, Jack in the Box has fans. People like Lunchables. Having fans does not equal any kind of goodness.
posted by Ghidorah at 11:47 PM on November 13, 2013


The things that people hate about the McRib seem to be exactly the things that food snobs love about traditional food. It's thriftily using up an otherwise undesired part of the animal. It's seasonal and only available at certain times.

If there was a special Trippa alla Fiorentina available only in Tuscany in the month of the feast of Saint Ronaldo Figliodidonaldo, foodies would be lining up for the rare chance to savour it.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 12:43 AM on November 14, 2013 [6 favorites]


Krusty: Listen, about the Ribwich. We won't be making them anymore. The animal we made them from is now extinct.
Homer: The pig?
Otto: The cow?
Krusty: You're way off. Think smaller...think more legs.
posted by mosk at 1:26 AM on November 14, 2013 [7 favorites]


MetaFilter: It's what Pink Slime laughs at when it wants to feel superior.
posted by one weird trick at 3:45 AM on November 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


Pickles and BBQ. Yes! My favourite BBQ place in Albany is run by an Oklahoma expat by way of NYC, and he makes his own pickles, and they are amazing.

Pickles and McDonalds. It appears one of the issues is the texture. IIRC, they come in 5 gallon buckets, already sliced very thinly, so yeah, they do sort of fall apart. But they're so pickle-y.
posted by mikelieman at 3:54 AM on November 14, 2013


I've got $10 in my pocket and I didn't pack a lunch. I was thinking I would get a McRib, but they closed down the last McDonald's in downtown Minneapolis three weeks ago. Damn food trucks!
posted by Area Man at 5:31 AM on November 14, 2013


I've had pulled pork sandwiches in the Carolinas that were served with slaw and pickles. If you Google "Carolina pulled pork sandwich pickles" you'll find it's a thing.
posted by nathancaswell at 7:37 AM on November 14, 2013


...they closed down the last McDonald's in downtown Minneapolis three weeks ago.

For the sake of those of us who have no access to such a thing, go to Jimmy John's.

Why will no one open a Jimmy John's in NYC?
posted by griphus at 9:13 AM on November 14, 2013


For reference, the BK "Rib Sandwich" that they're now selling for $1 is a similarly-textured burger-style pork patty, with bbq sauce and pickles, on the "small" BK burger bun. It is Quite Acceptable.
posted by mrbill at 9:56 AM on November 14, 2013


mrbill:
For reference, the BK "Rib Sandwich" that they're now selling for $1 is a similarly-textured burger-style pork patty, with bbq sauce and pickles, on the "small" BK burger bun. It is Quite Acceptable.
I tried one of the rib sandwiches they had before (I'm assuming the predecessor to this) and determined that it was a superior McRib. But now they're selling this shit for $1? Good thing I've made it functionally impossible to get fast food for lunch.
posted by charred husk at 11:16 AM on November 14, 2013


backseatpilot: "Here is what an uncooked McRib looks like"

Actually, that is what an uncooked McRib, deep-frozen and covered in frost, looks like.

Not even the best Kobayashi Maru steak would look good under those conditions, or even much different.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:05 PM on November 14, 2013


Somehow I doubt a McRib would look better thawed out.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:07 PM on November 14, 2013


No... but different.

Pinker.

I hope.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:16 PM on November 14, 2013


Words (surprisingly) not used in the FPP article: ersatz, chimera, simulacrum, homunculus
posted by slogger at 12:37 PM on November 14, 2013 [4 favorites]


Sys Rq: It's just a lump of ground up snouts that looks like Neil Armstrong stepped on it

Maybe they're subconsciously confusing it with the old MTV promo that ended with the man on the moon, and it makes them crave lost youth, and Mickey D's is cynically exploiting that.

Bastards! *shakes fist at golden arches*
posted by wenestvedt at 1:33 PM on November 14, 2013


...they closed down the last McDonald's in downtown Minneapolis three weeks ago.

There hasn't been a McDonald's in Downcity Providence, RI, in years. I have to drive to, I dunno, University Heights or Seekonk or something if I want good fries.

For-get it.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:37 PM on November 14, 2013


Actually, that is what an uncooked McRib, deep-frozen and covered in frost, looks like.

When I saw it I wondered if it was covered in frost or if it was actually that color. There's certainly no reason to suppose the ingredients would be the purplish red (or gray/brown after a bit of oxidation) of muscle meats since nobody, anywhere, suggests it contains much if any of that.
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:43 PM on November 14, 2013


I tried one of the rib sandwiches they had before (I'm assuming the predecessor to this) and determined that it was a superior McRib. But now they're selling this shit for $1?

Yep, it's basically a smaller version of the previous pseudo-rib-product offering.
posted by mrbill at 2:17 PM on November 14, 2013


George_Spiggott: "When I saw it I wondered if it was covered in frost or if it was actually that color. There's certainly no reason to suppose the ingredients would be the purplish red (or gray/brown after a bit of oxidation) of muscle meats since nobody, anywhere, suggests it contains much if any of that."

Sure, but I'd assume they would at least spray it with Pink #3(tm), before applying Char Specks(tm) and Cooked-Meat Brown #12(tm).

Pink #3(tm) is a known toxin, so it would prolong the shelf life of uncooked McRibs.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:20 PM on November 15, 2013


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