Grand Theft Auto Online
November 29, 2013 6:50 PM   Subscribe

My Secret Life in Los Santos : "On October 1, Rockstar released the online version of Grand Theft Auto V, the most popular video game in history. Unlike the “story mode” of the video game where players test their skills against computer generated cops and gangsters, in the online version of fictional Los Angeles we also get to kill and rob each other."
posted by Chocolate Pickle (46 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
 
Man plays online PVP game, gets spawn camped, cheats, gets bored, explores being a dick.

Welcome to the 21st century, Mr. Lake.
posted by zabuni at 7:08 PM on November 29, 2013 [11 favorites]


Ain't much here but a contractual bit of puff.
posted by planetesimal at 7:11 PM on November 29, 2013 [9 favorites]


I might be revealing my ignorance of the game, but I think it would be funny to team up to form a superhero group who try to stamp out crime.
posted by Sticherbeast at 7:20 PM on November 29, 2013 [29 favorites]


It's like Andy Rooney discovered video games.
posted by R. Mutt at 7:23 PM on November 29, 2013 [8 favorites]


You're thinking of Al Gore.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:27 PM on November 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


*drives around in chrome-plated Adder, sticky-bombing everything*

GTA:O is fun with a crew running missions together, and when Rockstar adds all the NPC-given (ie, co-op) missions to the Jobs Menu, that'll be even more fun. And eventually, yay heists, I hope.

But free roam is a gleefully anarchic/glaringly stupid exercise in pointless mayhem. Sometimes grudge matches turn into hilarious and exhilarating high speed chases and alleyway shoot outs, but more often than not it's just fucking frustrating when you're trying to get from A to B intact and XxGamerDude420xX keeps gunning you down.

But you can always leave the session and find a new world of murderous assholes, so there's that.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:39 PM on November 29, 2013 [4 favorites]


I've reading up about Garry's Mod lately. Among its various community-created game types is something called "DarkRP," which what I've read about seems rather similar to the world described here, but more insane, and (even) more juvenile. For example.
posted by JHarris at 7:42 PM on November 29, 2013 [4 favorites]


A friend of mine shared a wonderful story about GTA:O.

He was playing by himself, exploring and having fun, when he comes across a crew who are staked out on the top of a hospital, camping and sniping anyone they see.

So after getting sniped by these jokers for a while, he respawns and goes and steals one of the heavy lift helicopters. Then he takes the helicopter and uses it to pick up a garbage truck. With the large garbage truck in tow, he flies back over to the hospital, hovers over the roof, and drops the truck on the snipers.

He did this 4 or 5 times, then went to the military base and stole a jet. He then turned the campers on the roof into mush with missiles.

To say the least, there are many, many, many ways to deal with griefers if you use your imagination in GTA:O.
posted by daq at 8:12 PM on November 29, 2013 [33 favorites]


JHarris that video had me laughing less than 2 minutes in. I had heard of Gary's Mod but never seen it before. I would be all over that DarkRP if I wasn't so terrible with the gravity gun in Half Life 2.
posted by Hoopo at 8:15 PM on November 29, 2013


This article was disappointing, but it did give me an excuse to link to SeaNanners, so that's a thing.

If there is a fellow who enjoys gaming online with his friends, it is that man.
posted by KChasm at 8:51 PM on November 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


stealing methamphetamines from a biker gang

He stole more than one? Sounds like a thrill junkie.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:18 PM on November 29, 2013 [3 favorites]


My friend that otherwise spends most of his free time sitting on a couch staring out of a window with his girlfriend really enjoys this game.
posted by phaedon at 9:24 PM on November 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


I used to play MMORPGs back in the day. I was pretty elite...and for a while I was a PKK (Player Killer Killer). That's fun for a while, cause you take a good character (and your skill) and just roam around killing the regular PK (player killer) jerks.

It really pisses them off...and that's the best part! haha.
posted by CrowGoat at 9:33 PM on November 29, 2013


I looked briefly for a a place to play and it wasn't obvious. Is it really released or just v/w?
posted by sfts2 at 9:54 PM on November 29, 2013


I have no idea why you'd waste time sniping when dropping garbage trucks on snipers was available - that sounds so much more fun.
posted by Artw at 10:29 PM on November 29, 2013 [5 favorites]


And I have no idea why you'd waste time dropping garbage trucks on snipers when you could use missiles. That's the problem with all these games—somebody always finds a way to nuke everybody else, and that somebody is usually 13.
posted by Camofrog at 10:55 PM on November 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


We've been playing this. There aren't many games that my spouse has the patience for, but she does like the open-world sandboxes that Rockstar makes, and we've both finished the story mode, so. Online it is.

It very quickly became apparent that Free Roam is marginally more entertaining than the in-game TV. I might take the time to sprint across the map to bolster my stamina and see if somebody's hosting a race I haven't completed yet, but until we've accumulated the rank and money through missions to make us formidable in package-acquisition and gang-attack-initiation activities in free roam, it's barely rewarding to engage with other players, compared to the drama that plays out over a chain of races or deathmatches with a small group or even just a single other player.

I do wish that every game with an online component had a character creation system as needlessly arcane as this one's.
posted by jsnlxndrlv at 11:24 PM on November 29, 2013


I've been playing GTA:O on-and-off for a few weeks. I didn't originally intend to, but...

Hang on, I'll start over.

I bought GTA 5 within a couple of days of release, played about third of the way through the story, and then encountered the torture mission. I couldn't bring myself to play through that one. It crossed a line for me. So I was stuck, and after a while I decided to give the online component a go.

I don't mind getting killed by other players - they're just following the script, more or less. PVP is encouraged in this game. Killing other players unlocks various little upgrades and perks once you kill enough. I guess the worst I could say is I find it a bit alienating: 99 times out of 100 the first thing another player will do when they encounter you in free roam is pull out a gun and start firing. I tend to regard them as kind of like mobile turrets with not-so-great AI. I don't fire back, I don't answer them on chat, and I don't run away (I just stand there smoking cigarettes while they shoot). I guess that makes me the griefer.

Finding ways of passing the time without grinding through the tedious Rockstar missions (oh hey, another firefight. oh hey, another endless car chase. ho hum) requires some imagination as someone said already. I like flying around. It's fun to buzz the other players, although this often ends in me being shot down. Using the cargo helicopter to toss around cars and trucks is pretty rad (although I'm skeptical that you could actually kill anyone this way unless they a) didn't change position at all, and b) didn't shoot you down while you moved into position).

One night I put on a fireworks show by sticking C4 onto cars down at the beach, using the helicopter to lift and toss them, and detonating the explosives as they sailed though the air. Sometimes I stage slow races with myself where I steal one of the enormous ore trucks out in the countryside and time how long it takes to get to the city. It's more fun than it sounds, maybe.

Oh, one other thing: Rockstar lets you set up a 'crew', which I guess is like a guild. You can have your own crew emblem and set up named ranks. One night I was browsing the player list and one guy was in a crew which had a swastika as its emblem. His rank? 'Anders Breivik'. That was just depressing.
posted by um at 3:15 AM on November 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


I wish they had a Grand Theft Auto set 100 years ago where you drove a Model-T and shot up saloons and strumpets.
posted by Renoroc at 3:32 AM on November 30, 2013 [15 favorites]


That's sort of what mafia II is, but then it warps forward and you're in the 50s.

It's a pretty cool game actually, with tons of attention to detail put into the world. Made me sad that you don't actually get that much of a chance to explore it though unless you just utterly ignore the mission and go screw around, and then most places aren't even open or something will come and fuck everything up.
posted by emptythought at 4:44 AM on November 30, 2013


And I have no idea why you'd waste time dropping garbage trucks on snipers when you could use missiles.

I like missiles, but I do not understand your concept of fun, because garbage truck.
posted by Artw at 5:05 AM on November 30, 2013 [11 favorites]


I wish they had a Grand Theft Auto set 100 years ago where you drove a Model-T and shot up saloons and strumpets.

Red Dead Redemption isn't far off either.
posted by box at 5:17 AM on November 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think there should be a kiddie version, Grand Theft Tricycle, where all the weapons are Nerf shooters and the maximum speed is how fast you can go downhill on a Big Wheel. Which is pretty fast.
posted by chavenet at 5:30 AM on November 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


Grand Theft Manual, where you have to try to get a car going to escape guys shooting at you, but the car is a 1964 Chevy Biscayne with a choke lever whose cable is stretched, the transmission sticks coming out of first, and the clutch slips.

Advanced levels: A Willys Jeep.
posted by ardgedee at 6:01 AM on November 30, 2013 [7 favorites]


Grand Theft Meta: Where you go around as a snowflake, declawing cats, dealing with passive-aggressive coworkers, and eating questionable food, all within a dystopia ruled by Dick Cheney.

Best of all, it's only $5.00!
posted by 4ster at 6:10 AM on November 30, 2013 [7 favorites]


Let's be clear on something: Grand Theft Auto V is the fastest-selling game (or in fact entertainment product) in history. That doesn't exactly translate to "most popular," (and anecdata shows that after the rush of the first day or so a hell of a lot of people are disappointed with it.)
posted by Navelgazer at 6:36 AM on November 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm just waiting for the PC version so I can see what the same people who did this to GTA4 are going to come up with. A GTA5 Back to the Future mod wouldn't be bad either.
posted by zombieflanders at 6:59 AM on November 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


Poking around, I found this video montage of real-world griefing as a suggested video.
posted by sebastienbailard at 7:44 AM on November 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


I can't even play games like this anymore. The thought that we apply so much of the infinite potential of human imagination and tech to doing real and fantasy violence to other people is just too depressing. No hate for people who aren't haunted by this thought (really--I'd love it if I could get off my own inner highhorse and just play games like GTA without qualms again, and I do still play some relatively violent games) but it kind of confirms for me why, if there were a superior power or intelligence in the universe, it would be perfectly justified in keeping humanity quarantined and as far away as possible from any access to real power. If humanity had god-like powers, we'd make a nice big hell for each other and spend pretty much all eternity entertaining ourselves by tormenting each other, duping ourselves into thinking it's heaven just often enough with the thrill of pulling one over on some other poor shmuck that we'd never want to leave. Sort of like how I don't even bother trying to lucid dream anymore because I know that even if I pull it off, all I'm going to do with all that god-like power is spend the whole time trying to create a dream woman to have sex with. It's just too depressing a reminder of how small and petty we still are and will likely always be underneath all those layers of elaborate cultural makeup.
posted by saulgoodman at 7:51 AM on November 30, 2013 [9 favorites]


It's just too depressing a reminder of how small and petty we still are and will likely always be underneath all those layers of elaborate cultural makeup.
posted by saulgoodman at 7:51 AM on November 30 [1 favorite +] [!]


What's the opposite of eponysterical?
posted by fatbird at 9:04 AM on November 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


So anyway, this Saints Row thing... Start with III or IV?
posted by Artw at 9:11 AM on November 30, 2013


So anyway, this Saints Row thing... Start with III or IV?

Well, 4 was supposed to be a DLC for 3, but the scope got bigger and bigger, and 3 is currently on sale on Steam for 5 bucks. I'd go for 3.
posted by zabuni at 9:38 AM on November 30, 2013


A GTA5 Back to the Future mod yt wouldn't be bad either.

I was hoping the DeLorean would wind up in a 1955 version of Liberty City or San Andreas or whatever -- essentially, in L.A. Noire.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:01 AM on November 30, 2013


And then it can go back to 1885 and be in Red Dead Redemption.
posted by zombieflanders at 10:12 AM on November 30, 2013


So anyway, this Saints Row thing... Start with III or IV?

Three. IV doesn't make much sense without III and the latter is more representative of the series and easier to get into. Also, it means you can watch this hilarious series of videos about playing the game.
posted by MartinWisse at 10:43 AM on November 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


saulgoodman: "The thought that we apply so much of the infinite potential of human imagination and tech to doing real and fantasy violence to other people is just too depressing."

Well sure.

On the other hand I discovered you can pick up a port-a-potty with the cargo helicopter. So.
posted by danny the boy at 11:57 AM on November 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


To put it another way, I'm sure you could be a teacher and get depressed that any percentage of human productivity is engaged in making reality television, or be an engineer and human talent is wasted making pop music, or a writer who thinks it's dumb to spend hundreds of millions of dollars sending shit to space when we have problems down here... or a farmer who thinks lawyers are a waste of space.

Etc. Etc.

There are very few human endeavors that would universally pass muster. You are always going to be someone else's regret.
posted by danny the boy at 12:11 PM on November 30, 2013 [5 favorites]


So anyway, this Saints Row thing... Start with III or IV?

II, actually. The graphics aren't as good as III and IV but it balances well-tuned sandbox anarchy perfectly with an interesting plot and great characters. IV was fun, much more so than III, but it won't make sense without playing II and III fist.
posted by Blue Meanie at 12:56 PM on November 30, 2013


>>I was hoping the DeLorean would wind up in a 1955 version of Liberty City or San Andreas or whatever -- essentially, in L.A. Noire.

>And then it can go back to 1885 and be in Red Dead Redemption.


I say this unironically - Great Caesar's ghost!
posted by codswallop at 1:59 PM on November 30, 2013


Can I just say? Last night I had more fun in GTA:O than I've had since the game came out. Between MeFight Clubbers FriscoBowie and Zoltan(StringOfDigits), accompanied and sometimes hampered by the assistance/good-natured griefing of Baconfist and EffinPirates, we raced and fought and laughed and did stupid stuff until the wee hours and it was big dumb fun.

Join the MeFi crew, folks. We will have your back. After blowing you up a few times.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:50 PM on November 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


There are so many fun things to say about GTA:O, it's a shame this article is so thin. Yeah there's griefing, and it can be both annoying and fun (on both sides of the grief). There's also a really complex open world, and fun things to do together, and plenty of races and other competitive missions, and overall it's really a tour de force of this generation of open world games.

And yes please do join the MeFight Club crew if you want to roam online with some other folks who aren't total jerks but can still laugh hilariously at how silly the game is. Shoot me or BitterOldPunk a MeMail if you join so we know to approve the invite. (Even better, join MeFight Club and talk to us there!)
posted by Nelson at 4:26 PM on November 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


I just wanted to poke my head in and say sorry to the MeFight Club crew for dropping out of sight....Batman: Arkham Origins came out and ate my time for a while, and now I seem to have gotten into Borderlands 2. I'll be back, though.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:43 PM on November 30, 2013


Finally! A reason to join mefight club. I've been hesitant to dive into GTA online, but might have to give it a go.
posted by billyfleetwood at 8:37 PM on November 30, 2013


There are very few human endeavors that would universally pass muster. You are always going to be someone else's regret.

Think you missed my point a little. I didn't mean that as a critique of GTA or violent games generally, and I'm definitely not trying to persuade anyone of anything--just trying to give an honest account of why I personally can't enjoy any if the GTA games anymore. And, sure, maybe venting some of my frustration at the lack of creative innovation in certain genres of popular games and the limits of human nature, too. But really, it's all good.
posted by saulgoodman at 12:31 AM on December 1, 2013


The various gaming genres to me have different appeals. But GTA does tend to tie a lot of them together.

Namely, the feeling of limitless possibilities, the ability to transgress most standards of human decency (as saulgoodman mentions) and the ability to connect to other real people, for what it's worth. But it's how convincingly those limitless possibilities are pulled off that makes it fun to punch an NPC to death.

Most games to me are used to whittle away little bits of time so typically the immersive games represent a huge time investment, because I know myself. And I know that in the past, immersive games only appealed to me if there were human players involved, like MUDS, or lots of challenging puzzles and whatnot that make for a fun IRL co-op game. What I first observed in Syndicate and then GTA is that almost all games give me a shallow soulless feeling if I play for an hour or more, unless other humans are involved, or I am able to relentlessly slaughter hordes of virtual humans with realistic cries of pain and no consequences. YMMV but they definitely tie into my reptilian vengeful hind brain. Pure FPS games don't really do this to me, though, but they tend to just be fast paced wank fests that appeal to people with far more free time to devote to being bad ass.
posted by lordaych at 7:44 AM on December 1, 2013


Like I'm muddling through SR4 with maybe one session a month and each time I fight with myself on how productive I should be, inevitably getting sucked in to starting massive shootouts at every turn until three hours have gone by and I haven't done any missions. Some folks say fuck the missions I'm doing macrame or something but I mainly kill the time killing lots of fake hyoomons.
posted by lordaych at 7:47 AM on December 1, 2013


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