Half a pinkie's length up, right where the cartilage meets the bone

December 7, 2013 2:41 PM

I discovered a new species up my nose. It could well be that the Ugandan nostril ticks have yet to spread beyond the particular park where we conducted our research. We now have to return and set traps to catch more. More on Tony Goldberg
posted by KokuRyu (19 comments total)

There it was, half a pinkie's length up, right where the cartilage meets the bone: the smooth, rounded backside of a fully engorged tick'

If you need me I will busy setting everything on fire
posted by The Whelk at 2:44 PM on December 7, 2013 [20 favorites]

Life is gross and upsetting.
posted by erlking at 3:04 PM on December 7, 2013 [4 favorites]

I feel genuinely grateful to the tick for choosing me as its host.

Stockholm syndrome or parasitic mind control? You decide!
posted by Nomyte at 3:10 PM on December 7, 2013 [13 favorites]

This puts the maternal exhortation "If you keep sticking your finger up there, something's going to bite it off" into a stark new light.
posted by Countess Elena at 3:14 PM on December 7, 2013 [2 favorites]

We now have to return and set traps to catch more.

There's an app for that.

And ya know, I am all for getting into your science but I don't think I could shove a tick trap up my nose.
posted by tilde at 3:20 PM on December 7, 2013

Ugandan nostril ticks? Yeah- fuck you, face. There's only one way to take care of this.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:22 PM on December 7, 2013 [5 favorites]

There's only one way to take care of this.

Just because the Joker can slice his face off in the comics doesn't mean that will work in real life!
posted by Mezentian at 3:59 PM on December 7, 2013

We now have to return and set traps to catch more.

There's an app for that.

yes, i believe they developed it in the 90's
posted by fuzzypantalones at 4:04 PM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

"When you hear the CRUNCH!, You're there. Just pull it out. Careful, that's my head too..."
posted by Monkey0nCrack at 4:07 PM on December 7, 2013

AS IF THE NOSTRIL LEECHES WERE NOT ENOUGH

I hate you nature and in retaliation for your evil ways I am not going to recycle this yogurt container.
posted by elizardbits at 4:29 PM on December 7, 2013 [2 favorites]

maybe someday I'll stop screaming in terror and get back to the internet
posted by gusandrews at 4:59 PM on December 7, 2013

I'm going to bring this up to the next person who tells me that a paleo-diet is all we need to stay disease and cancer free.
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:22 PM on December 7, 2013

Yeah- fuck you, face. There's only one way to take care of this.
posted by TheWhiteSkull

I believe that calls for an "Eponysterical".
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:33 PM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh my gosh, that would have been the most satisfying and disgusting thing in the world. There's gotta be a world for that sort of thing. Popping a zit, pulling a fully engorged tick out of your nose, that sort of thing.
posted by Grandysaur at 5:44 PM on December 7, 2013

Ahhh, fieldwork.
posted by Scientist at 5:53 PM on December 7, 2013

That is gross!! My skin is crawling. Maybe this list needs to be updated.

National Geographic's top 10 creatures you don't want to encounter while traveling
posted by JujuB at 6:10 PM on December 7, 2013

Nose vole? I see no nose vole...
posted by Devonian at 7:24 PM on December 7, 2013

Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
posted by charlie don't surf at 8:33 AM on December 8, 2013

Oh my gosh, that would have been the most satisfying and disgusting thing in the world.

You're not alone.
posted by bonobothegreat at 3:58 PM on December 8, 2013