Getting Shit Done
December 9, 2013 11:40 AM   Subscribe

A new iteration of the august tradition of fictional Amazon.com product reviews has arrived: The 2-in-1iPotty Activity Seat for iPad. (scroll down for reviews)
posted by The Whelk (36 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
Trying to decide between "Pepsi Poo" and "This potty, it vibrates?"
posted by mochapickle at 11:43 AM on December 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


What
posted by Melismata at 11:43 AM on December 9, 2013


I view this thing with horror, and it's not like I'm even that fussy about letting the kids play with the phone or kindle to shut them up.
posted by Artw at 11:45 AM on December 9, 2013


That thing really does seem like a harbinger of near-Neronian levels of cultural decadence, doesn't it?
posted by RogerB at 11:47 AM on December 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


You know, if they made one of these for the Nexus 7 and I knew about this, it would be saving me an upcoming support call regarding an event which may or may not have transpired... It is sometimes really hard to get the full story from a preschooler holding a tablet.
posted by Nanukthedog at 11:47 AM on December 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I glower. Rain appears around me. I growl "NO." Looking at this is turning me into Rorsach.
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:51 AM on December 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


For those interested, here's the adult version.
posted by phunniemee at 11:53 AM on December 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


No support for iPad 1st generation. LAME.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:53 AM on December 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


That thing really does seem like a harbinger of near-Neronian levels of cultural decadence, doesn't it?

In fact a violinist serenades me while I poop.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:53 AM on December 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


To really get full value you'll want the Kindle HDX version so your toddler can avail themselves of the Mayday button for live support.
posted by alms at 11:54 AM on December 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I thought it was a fictional PRODUCT.

God help us.
posted by SPUTNIK at 11:55 AM on December 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


I can connect the dots between this and those pods they kept people in in The Matrix. It starts with kids growing up accustomed to this as not an insanely stupid thing. Then a workstation that combines this with Ritalin and Adderall drips and a feeding tube. From there it's pretty much all downhill to the end.
posted by Naberius at 11:55 AM on December 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


No support for iPad 1st generation. LAME.

Honestly, that's what enrages me the most. WHY NO LOVE FOR FIRST GEN HUH?
posted by The Whelk at 11:57 AM on December 9, 2013


They have those on the big Fox News newsroom tablets.
posted by planetesimal at 11:57 AM on December 9, 2013 [1 favorite]




Just be sure never to confuse 'wipe' with 'swipe' or vice versa.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:00 PM on December 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


The very opposite of content consumption, I'd say.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:02 PM on December 9, 2013


Note to self: never borrow someone else's iPad.
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:02 PM on December 9, 2013 [9 favorites]


It's only a matter of time before we hear of someone using a toilet paper app as actual toilet paper.
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:03 PM on December 9, 2013


toilet paper app

Is this a thing that exists because I am envisioning an app that just has one button which sends a text/iMessage to a designated list of people that says "I ran out, please throw in another roll" and I'm thinking this might be my ticket out of student loan debt
posted by kagredon at 12:09 PM on December 9, 2013 [6 favorites]


(cut to a befuddled Sallie Mae, receiving their fourth ton of toilet paper this week)
posted by Sticherbeast at 12:12 PM on December 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm troubled by the "What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?" section as it suggests rather than buying this for young children during potty training, this is being purchased by college-aged guys who don't have time to take a break from video games to walk to the bathroom.
posted by yerfatma at 12:12 PM on December 9, 2013



What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?

The Hogwarts Library (Harry Potter) by J. K. Rowling Hardcover


Fiber. Lots ..and lots of fiber.
posted by The Whelk at 12:14 PM on December 9, 2013


The "frequently bought together" link of the classy grown-up version points to this. WTH? Is it because Republicans generally eat more meat & a low-fibre diet gives ample time to, uh, indulge in a game of thrones?
posted by Westringia F. at 12:19 PM on December 9, 2013


Is this a thing that exists because I am envisioning an app that just has one button which sends a text/iMessage to ...

... to the TOILET PAPER EMERGENCY DELIVERY DRONE. I'm not sure whether to write a VC pitch for a a $50-per-roll startup or write my representative and demand this be established as a public service.
posted by ceribus peribus at 12:21 PM on December 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


O Metafilter how I love thee.
posted by Dr Ew at 12:32 PM on December 9, 2013


It also acts as a do it yourself water slide if you are teaching a boy to stand.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:36 PM on December 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I hope that it has a poop and pee sensor array so you can play racing and other midway-style games online hands-free with other people.
posted by planetesimal at 12:52 PM on December 9, 2013


a poop and pee sensor array

The Internet of Things will forever remain vaporware and empty promise until we can ping our individual turds. With I Pee addressing.
posted by RogerB at 1:02 PM on December 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


...and then it sends a record of the event to your IPooed?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:07 PM on December 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


RogerB's comment got me to thinking about some of the possibilities, and I wondered if there was already some existing work out there. So I googled "anal internet" and now suddenly I'm fired.

So thanks, RogerB. Thanks for nothing. Fucker.
posted by Naberius at 2:31 PM on December 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


There go my Mark Zuckerberg fantasies, circling down the u-bend.
posted by kagredon at 2:39 PM on December 9, 2013


That thing really does seem like a harbinger of near-Neronian levels of cultural decadence, doesn't it?

Next people will be tearing down all of the dividing walls in public restrooms and socializing as they poop as if they're in ancient Rome. It's only shame about bodily functions that separates us from the animals!
posted by XMLicious at 2:45 PM on December 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Reminder: all these I Pee addressing jokes and IPooed were sort of made back when the twitter shitter was actually constructed a few years back.
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:41 PM on December 9, 2013


until we can ping our individual turds. With I Pee addressing.

Ping requires I See Em Pee. If that seems gross you could always get a pirate to check on your turds for you via the Aye Arrrrrrr Pee.
posted by localroger at 4:54 PM on December 9, 2013


Haven't you people pulled your FOIA stuff yet? The NSA is all up in your turds.
posted by planetesimal at 5:28 PM on December 9, 2013


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