The "They Fight Crime" character generator.

January 14, 2002 5:35 PM

The "They Fight Crime" character generator. He's an unconventional Republican master criminal with acid for blood. She's a tortured cigar-chomping nun living homeless in New York's sewers. They fight crime!
posted by skallas (17 comments total)

He's a fast talking Amish dog-catcher with no name. She's a vivacious Bolivian magician's assistant with the power to bend men's minds. They fight crime!

Pity it won't be shown here in Europe.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 5:49 PM on January 14, 2002

Coming soon to the Daypop top 40:
"Which 'They Fight Crime!' character are you?"
posted by joemaller at 5:49 PM on January 14, 2002

She's a tortured French-Canadian queen of the dead with a flame-thrower.

Gotta love those wacky French-Canadians and their flame-throwers!
posted by Keen at 6:12 PM on January 14, 2002

He's a world-famous playboy werewolf moving from town to town, helping folk in trouble. She's a transdimensional renegade femme fatale with the power to bend men's minds. They fight crime! ---- Looks like Joss Whedon's on to another money earner :)
posted by kaemaril at 6:12 PM on January 14, 2002

He's a war-weary amnesiac waffle chef on his last day on the job. She's a strong-willed gypsy snake charmer who inherited a spooky stately manor from her late maiden aunt. They fight crime!

I think Harry Crews' secret is out.
posted by gimli at 6:13 PM on January 14, 2002

Wicked link .... old sport!
posted by Dark Messiah at 6:52 PM on January 14, 2002

He's a one-legged skateboarding matador with a secret. She's a scantily clad bisexual femme fatale who hides her beauty behind a pair of thick-framed spectacles. They fight crime!
Those must be *really* thick frames…
posted by darukaru at 7:02 PM on January 14, 2002

Our campus improv group did a really funny skit last year featuring a cross-dressing kung-fu nun and a bear from the future, who spoke only in binary code. They fought crime, and the bear always responded with "101-101!"
posted by gramcracker at 7:18 PM on January 14, 2002

He's a shy guitar-strumming vampire hunter fleeing from a secret government programme. She's an artistic French-Canadian schoolgirl from beyond the grave. They fight crime!

That actually sounds like something you'd see at the video store!
posted by Stuart_R at 8:10 PM on January 14, 2002

Actually....sounds like various heroes and heroines from "The Tick"
posted by bkdelong at 8:46 PM on January 14, 2002

He's a maverick guitar-strumming barbarian gone bad. She's a beautiful tempestuous queen of the dead operating on the wrong side of the law. They fight crime!

...This sounds like a late-night cable movie.
posted by SisterHavana at 9:40 PM on January 14, 2002

1000 bonus points to gimli for the Harry Crews reference.
posted by Optamystic at 9:53 PM on January 14, 2002

He's a shy crooked grifter trapped in a world he never made. She's a sharp-shooting nymphomaniac schoolgirl who don't take no shit from nobody. They fight crime!

She's not really a schoolgirl, she just plays one on TV.
posted by JakeEXTREME at 10:38 PM on January 14, 2002

He's an otherworldly coffee-fuelled cyborg in drag. She's a violent cat-loving angel prone to fits of savage, blood-crazed rage. They fight crime!

Has anyone tried looking at the javascript in the source code? It's ALL there.
posted by brownpau at 6:06 AM on January 15, 2002

Where does this meme originally come from, anyway? I remember it in the early days of "MST3K," but did they invent it?

As you can see, I'm not a detective.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:33 AM on January 15, 2002

I dunno, but an "I'm Feeling Lucky" Google search for "They Fight Crime!" turns up above link.
posted by brownpau at 9:21 AM on January 15, 2002

Everyone to whom I've shown this has cracked up laughing, and quickly starts obsessively clicking for more results. I'm copying the code and creating instant dissertation generation machine—so many more cliches on which to play!
posted by rschram at 11:13 PM on January 18, 2002