One Friedman unit in, victory is almost within the dog's grasp
May 1, 2014 7:27 AM   Subscribe

"The enemy advances, we retreat; the enemy camps, we harass; the enemy tires, we attack; the enemy retreats, we pursue. -- Schlachtbummler Jamie K. imagines the introduction of a new cat to his dog owning household as a classic guerilla war. Read the comments for counter insurgency strategies for the dog.
posted by MartinWisse (9 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
Hilariously on-point piece, and the comments are pretty great too. I guess we'd also compare the dog's growing neurosis to the people "back home" growing restless at the continued military presence where it's unwelcome.
posted by pahalial at 7:46 AM on May 1, 2014

Brilliant. Thank you. Just forwarded to a friend with three cats in a serious relationship with a Special Forces operator.
posted by oneironaut at 8:29 AM on May 1, 2014

This was an awesome read! Thanks MartinWisse.
posted by codswallop at 8:58 AM on May 1, 2014

That was good. I also forwarded to my friend going through similar 'warfare' but between his two cats.
posted by shoesietart at 9:13 AM on May 1, 2014

this was really quite good.

I like the bell idea best. my stupid little cat Tali is always being bullied by my big hefty Bear (Happy birthday, big 6 year old!) so I put a jangly collar on him and I have seen less nervousness out of her.
posted by rebent at 9:30 AM on May 1, 2014

11) Zhukov: cede ground to the cat, but deny any access to resources. Burn down son's room, other portions of house. Counter attack from heavily fortified second house.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:32 AM on May 1, 2014 [4 favorites]

My takeaway is that the decadent government of Dog is holding out only because of support from a global superpower.

posted by GenjiandProust at 10:29 AM on May 1, 2014 [5 favorites]

My wife and I added a very young kitten to our household in the last week. The older cat isn't happy. The terrier keeps wanting to "play" with the small furry mewling thing that looks and sounds just like the small squeaky things it has been bred to hunt for the last few hundred years. We are still trying to figure out if the few times the dog has managed to lick the kitten were friendly grooming incidences or tasting expeditions. We didn't have this issue with the dog as a pup because she was small and the cat was full grown and took no shit.
posted by Badgermann at 12:50 PM on May 1, 2014

From the comments: "Is anyone else reading this with Martin Sheen as Capt. Willard's voice in their head?"
posted by homunculus at 12:00 AM on May 2, 2014

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