What if Homer Simpson smoked weed? It's not that crazy to imagine.
July 9, 2014 7:25 PM   Subscribe

For the last few weeks, the Twitter account @Homer_Marijuana has been publishing a bizarre piece of long-form fan fiction about The Simpsons, family, America's wars in the Middle East, and marijuana, vast amounts of all sorts of marijuana. Now, 5,015 tweets later, Marijuana Simpson has concluded, and is available to read on an easier-to-follow Scribd document.
posted by Small Dollar (28 comments total) 35 users marked this as a favorite
Tweet vs Scribd: tweets are a better match with the jumpy pacing and the topic. I also think this dude might want to step away from the bong.
posted by GrammarMoses at 7:34 PM on July 9, 2014

BART: What's going on?
HOMER: The USA has been attacked
BART: Why?
HOMER: We don't know
BART: What's going to happen
MARGE: A war is going to happen
BART: Am I safe?
HOMER: How low can you go
BART: To de flo
HOMER: How low can you go
BART: to the flo
HOMER: How low can you go
BART: To the flo
HOMER: How lo


HOMER: My son has been drafted

I love this.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:38 PM on July 9, 2014 [4 favorites]

Homer already did smoke weed in season 13, episode 16's Weekend at Burnsie's.
posted by Talez at 7:54 PM on July 9, 2014 [6 favorites]

This is amazing. I'll now live in perpetual hope that somebody sees fit to turn this into a stage performance.
posted by solarion at 8:00 PM on July 9, 2014

Thank you thank you thank you for the Scribd link. I've been obsessed with this stupid-genius account for the past week.
posted by naju at 8:05 PM on July 9, 2014

Ditto. This is a fantastic piece of work (it reminds me of Brecht) , but hard to fully appreciate when you're reading it in snatches from back to front.
posted by Flashman at 8:12 PM on July 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

WIGGUM: I hear your mom begs for shake on the streets
LISA: ...
SKINNER: Young Wiggum. That's really a low blow.
WIGGUM: I heard it from you
SKINNER: You read my Xanga?

posted by jason_steakums at 8:24 PM on July 9, 2014 [2 favorites]

MAGGIE: It's good that we can smoke tons of weed as a family
BART: Hear, hear
HOMER: It's strange but enjoyable.
posted by Flashman at 8:29 PM on July 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

this seems like it has a very similar pitch to cboyardee's old stuff, but i'm not sure how common that is these days on twitter because i don't use it at all. on that note, barkley 2 release is imminent!
posted by p3on at 8:29 PM on July 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

BART: How did you know us
BART: Tell me
SADDAM: I'm a moderator on the Grasscity forums
BART: What?
SADDAM: TokeMahal49
BART: That's you?
SADDAM: I've talked to your dad on IRC for years. We post together
BART: You're a terrorist
SADDAM: I'm just a lonely stoner

The only thing that disappointed me about absurdism was that it used referents of its time - the 20s to 40s. As such, I think I am in love.
posted by solarion at 8:29 PM on July 9, 2014

Reading from the end backwards... any work of fiction that concludes with the protagonist reciting The Lord's Prayer suggests that the author is under the influence of something far more destructive than marijuana.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:30 PM on July 9, 2014 [2 favorites]

This needs to be made into an animated feature by Cate Wurtz.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:30 PM on July 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

Watching my feed watch this story was fun. Reactions ranged from "this is like a Ben Marcus novel" to "this is the dumbest thing I ever read." People would retweet it out of context and other people would make fun of the people who did that. I think it's good, even if it's only a very good bit and not a Serious Piece of Art, as some people said.

The way it began was especially weird, and affected the way people received it: The account used to be @collatingbones/Dwayne, a popular jokewriter who quit Twitter a few months ago, but then it returned without warning as @smel_59. After the confusion over @smel_59's identity (still not entirely sorted out) subsided, the account began what appeared to be a short bit about Homer Simpson smoking weed. The bit went on, and the account changed into @Homer_Marijuana/Marijuana Simpson. And now we're here.

I'm glad to see it made it here. I was considering posting it myself, but didn't want to do so until it was over, so thanks, Small Dollar!
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:31 PM on July 9, 2014 [5 favorites]

It's like if you took a hemisphere from Sarah Kane's brain and hot-glued it to a hemisphere from Tao Lin's brain.
posted by Iridic at 8:41 PM on July 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

What goes on here? Smokin' with out me?
posted by Sprocket at 9:06 PM on July 9, 2014

Noooo it's over? I was hoping it would go on forever.
posted by Joe Chip at 9:21 PM on July 9, 2014

barkley 2 release is imminent!


cancel all metafilters. this is barkleyfilter now.
posted by thedaniel at 10:19 PM on July 9, 2014

Right there, on page two, Errol Morris is a character in this, that's a play on his latest movie. Okay, I guess I'm reading more of this.
posted by pmv at 10:22 PM on July 9, 2014

This family that was once united by dank buds has been torn apart by those same buds. God forgive us.
posted by naju at 10:37 PM on July 9, 2014 [2 favorites]

ok u just wait til I achieve psychotic break too, my "skateboarding Phaedrus" fictional tweeter will blast this bullshit account into the cow toilet
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:42 AM on July 10, 2014

I read a few pages but was distracted by the fact that the author felt Maggie would be the one all distraught about the war in Afghanistan and telling people to read more. This is firmly in Lisa territory. Fanfic needs to get the source characters right.
posted by caution live frogs at 5:33 AM on July 10, 2014

Fanfic needs to get the source characters right.

VOICE: I heard you need goods
HOMER: Who are you?
VOICE: Circus Bob
HOMER: Circus Bob?
VOICE: Correct.
posted by DaDaDaDave at 6:16 AM on July 10, 2014 [4 favorites]

posted by chavenet at 6:34 AM on July 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

the most confusing part of following this was Ken, as I kept assuming in the years I've not watched the simpsons, a fourth child was canonically born
posted by MangyCarface at 6:43 AM on July 10, 2014

This is incredible.
posted by Lutoslawski at 7:08 AM on July 10, 2014

I used to follow @collatingbones before they deactivated, so I was unwittingly along with the ride from the start. There is so, so much clever stuff is buried in there - my favorite is probably the Lenny/Carl/Moe sections in the style of a Greek chorus. Throwing in Sonic the Hedgehog seems like a nod to the all the terrible fanfic that this imitates.
posted by .holmes at 12:08 PM on July 10, 2014

This reminds me of the 420 episode of Seinfeld I wrote many years ago.
Synopsis: Jerry finds out why Kramer raids his fridge constantly. Nervous about a job interview, George is convinced by Kramer that he should have a smoke. George partakes, gets paranoid, and freaks out once he hits the streets.
posted by Bubbles Devere at 8:24 PM on July 10, 2014

I'm not sure this is for real, but it purports to be an interview with the pair behind Marijuana Simpson. "A pair of probably FYAD-linked engineers do a Twitter stunt" isn't an unfamiliar story.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:24 PM on July 12, 2014

« Older For the night is dark and full of t̶e̶r̶r̶o̶r̶s̶...   |   One more time Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments