The dogs are green marbles
November 14, 2014 12:19 PM Subscribe
Writing for Rock, Paper, Shotgun, Alice O'Connor shares her favorite excerpts from her collection of the readme files included in game mods.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's Request -- Brandon Blatcher
Well, that was depressing.
posted by aramaic at 12:32 PM on November 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by aramaic at 12:32 PM on November 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
I was having such a good time imagining playing as a crate in a room full of crates that the ending was a sharp stop indeed.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:37 PM on November 14, 2014
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:37 PM on November 14, 2014
Replaces the death screen “YOU DIED” with “THANKS OBAMA”
The author is wrong that this joke doesn't need to be seen. This is the kind of joke that gets funnier with repetition.
(I'm going to pretend I didn't read the last one.)
posted by brundlefly at 12:42 PM on November 14, 2014 [6 favorites]
The author is wrong that this joke doesn't need to be seen. This is the kind of joke that gets funnier with repetition.
(I'm going to pretend I didn't read the last one.)
posted by brundlefly at 12:42 PM on November 14, 2014 [6 favorites]
I want the Thanks Obama mod in every game. Holy fucking shit.
posted by shmegegge at 12:49 PM on November 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by shmegegge at 12:49 PM on November 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
Metafilter: Basically, you find two villagers, give them some wheat, and they make another villager.
posted by maxsparber at 12:54 PM on November 14, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by maxsparber at 12:54 PM on November 14, 2014 [4 favorites]
Ooh, here's a mod I would actually play, perhaps this very weekend:
Endless City is a Minecraft mod that replaces Minecraft’s natural world with vast, empty city stretching out in all directions. In this city many of the basic principles for how you play Minecraft must be reconsidered or abandoned complete. Can you survive the city and bring life to this ravaged land? Go find out!posted by daisyk at 12:55 PM on November 14, 2014 [8 favorites]
Another thing that's a bit like this are FAQs for games. I'm always astounded at the quantity (and in many cases, quality) of writing that goes into something that you can't be sure anyone will even read.
posted by selfnoise at 12:58 PM on November 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by selfnoise at 12:58 PM on November 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
BRB, gotta install a fishing mod for Skyrim....
posted by davros42 at 12:59 PM on November 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by davros42 at 12:59 PM on November 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
I want the Thanks Obama mod in every game. Holy fucking shit.
I think a global search-and-replace is in order. Classic ROMs should be full of opportunities, although "GAME OVER" has not enough characters. "THY GAME IS OVER" in Joust should be replaceable, however, and I'm sure there are many others like "YOU HAVE DIED" and "YOU ARE DEAD". Just a cursory grep through my Apple ][ disk collection reveals many matches.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 1:10 PM on November 14, 2014
I think a global search-and-replace is in order. Classic ROMs should be full of opportunities, although "GAME OVER" has not enough characters. "THY GAME IS OVER" in Joust should be replaceable, however, and I'm sure there are many others like "YOU HAVE DIED" and "YOU ARE DEAD". Just a cursory grep through my Apple ][ disk collection reveals many matches.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 1:10 PM on November 14, 2014
"Wizard is about to die...thanks, Obama."
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:24 PM on November 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:24 PM on November 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
How about putting that little "TOASTY!" guy from Mortal Kombat 2 in every game? Because really there isn't a game that wouldn't benefit.
posted by selfnoise at 1:26 PM on November 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by selfnoise at 1:26 PM on November 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
Alice is my least favourite of the regular RPS writers because she doesn't quite get their tone, but this is a pretty spiffy piece. It's like reading www.textfiles.com.
posted by Sebmojo at 1:31 PM on November 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Sebmojo at 1:31 PM on November 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
Alice is my least favourite of the regular RPS writers because she doesn't quite get their tone
She writes a TON of the front page stuff now, though. Between that and Philippa Warr (whose tone I think matches Alice's fairly well) being brought in to do more stuff, I think the tone just might be shifting.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 1:48 PM on November 14, 2014 [4 favorites]
She writes a TON of the front page stuff now, though. Between that and Philippa Warr (whose tone I think matches Alice's fairly well) being brought in to do more stuff, I think the tone just might be shifting.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 1:48 PM on November 14, 2014 [4 favorites]
No, I really like Phillipa by contrast. Just personal taste, Alice's competent enough in her prose but you can feel the strain in her trying to pull off gently surrealist RPS jollity in a way that you don't with, say, Cara or Tim or Cassandra. IMHO, etc.
All the other writers are very good, so it's a testament to the overall quality that Alice is the only one I have issues with.
posted by Sebmojo at 3:14 PM on November 14, 2014
All the other writers are very good, so it's a testament to the overall quality that Alice is the only one I have issues with.
posted by Sebmojo at 3:14 PM on November 14, 2014
Classic ROMs should be full of opportunities, although "GAME OVER" has not enough characters.
GAME OVER
THX OBAMA
posted by snuffleupagus at 4:25 PM on November 14, 2014 [4 favorites]
GAME OVER
THX OBAMA
posted by snuffleupagus at 4:25 PM on November 14, 2014 [4 favorites]
Oh man. I just finished Dark Souls a couple weeks ago and I would have LOVED to have Thanks Obama installed.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 4:26 PM on November 14, 2014
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 4:26 PM on November 14, 2014
GAME OVER
THX OBAMA
Step aside. I have a sed script to write.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:17 PM on November 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
THX OBAMA
Step aside. I have a sed script to write.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:17 PM on November 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
I have now set the spiders to be destroyed as soon as they are created. As a safeguard I’ve also set them to be invisible, completly silent, [emphasis mine]
I was hoping that was for Minecraft, because that clicking sound, *shudder*, I get the chills just thinking about. So scary!
posted by Room 641-A at 7:47 PM on November 14, 2014
I was hoping that was for Minecraft, because that clicking sound, *shudder*, I get the chills just thinking about. So scary!
posted by Room 641-A at 7:47 PM on November 14, 2014
[Jolt Doom for Doom. 1994.]
The people of Earth are ADDICTED TO JOLT! In fact, Earth has been plagued with Jolt for hundreds of years. Among the general populace, Jolt has caused mutations, cancers, and worse…
Jolt mutated EVERYONE who drank it. Most of the mutants died from their own hideous deformities. Still others perished in the perpetual maelstrom of caffeine-induced violence. But some survived.
You, a rare person who never drank Jolt, are about to meet these awful, Jolt-addicted mutants face-to-face…
Um...isn't this almost exactly the plot to Sunset Overdrive? ._.
posted by TheMayorOfCanTown at 12:02 AM on November 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
The people of Earth are ADDICTED TO JOLT! In fact, Earth has been plagued with Jolt for hundreds of years. Among the general populace, Jolt has caused mutations, cancers, and worse…
Jolt mutated EVERYONE who drank it. Most of the mutants died from their own hideous deformities. Still others perished in the perpetual maelstrom of caffeine-induced violence. But some survived.
You, a rare person who never drank Jolt, are about to meet these awful, Jolt-addicted mutants face-to-face…
Um...isn't this almost exactly the plot to Sunset Overdrive? ._.
posted by TheMayorOfCanTown at 12:02 AM on November 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
Just spent the last hour and a half playing the Endless City mod, and it's a lot of fun. :D
posted by daisyk at 2:08 AM on November 15, 2014
posted by daisyk at 2:08 AM on November 15, 2014
Uh... Time for a break and a walk, I think.
o__o
posted by Gordafarin at 9:40 AM on November 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
o__o
posted by Gordafarin at 9:40 AM on November 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
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(2) Oh wow, the heartbreaking twist ending to this article. :(
posted by daisyk at 12:27 PM on November 14, 2014 [2 favorites]