Everything You Need To Know About The Dangerous Teen Trend ‘Wodehousing’
December 19, 2014 1:41 PM   Subscribe

Everything You Need To Know About The Dangerous Teen Trend ‘Wodehousing’
posted by Chocolate Pickle (39 comments total) 31 users marked this as a favorite
 
Why this wasn't posted by The Whelk will remain an eternal MetaFilter mystery.
posted by hippybear at 1:46 PM on December 19, 2014 [29 favorites]


He wasn't fast enough... (heh heh heh evil smile)
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 1:48 PM on December 19, 2014


Unsaid: among the elite, it's considered proper only to Wodehouse houses that are made of wood.
posted by JHarris at 1:49 PM on December 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


I'll tell you this much: You'll need to lock up your spoons.
posted by Malory Archer at 1:51 PM on December 19, 2014 [15 favorites]


It's only the johnny-come-latelies that use spray paint. Real Wodehousers use sable brushes and wear oxford cotton smocks to protect their tweeds.
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:53 PM on December 19, 2014 [9 favorites]


Surely you mean, "It's only the j.c.l.s that use spray paint..."
posted by hippybear at 1:55 PM on December 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


Could we get Hugh Laurie to do a very special episode of House called "How Many Houses Could House Wodehouse if House Wodehoused Houses?" Stephen Fry could guest star.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:55 PM on December 19, 2014 [57 favorites]


My favorite Wodehouseism.. "The f of the s is more d than the m"
posted by hippybear at 1:55 PM on December 19, 2014 [6 favorites]


In place of the usual Femslash Friday, The Toast had A Bit of Fry and Laurie Friday today and it was glorious.
posted by kmz at 1:58 PM on December 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


3. Three teens have died while “Wodehousing”
Two of them slipped while trying to “Wodehouse” a residence that overlooked a sheer cliff face. A third teen was struck by a drunk driver who’d accidentally veered onto the lawn of the home she and her friends were “Wodehousing.”


I keep priming the empathy button, but I'm having a hard time getting the motor started.
posted by SpacemanStix at 1:59 PM on December 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


I don't believe this is true because that is most definitely not a house in Tucson Arizona.
posted by Squeak Attack at 2:05 PM on December 19, 2014 [9 favorites]


Report such activity to your local police immediately.

What, so the police can have their helmets stolen? No thanks, old chap; I'll take my chances with these Visigoths and Vandals.
posted by MonkeyToes at 2:07 PM on December 19, 2014 [15 favorites]


yesss
posted by kagredon at 2:08 PM on December 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Taylor and I were at the Drones' enjoying a spot of Call of D. and knocking back a few Bud L's. The beer at the Drones leaves much to be desired, but I do say that it gets better with volume, and with higher levels of the old kill to death ratio in comparison to one Taylor.

At a certain point Taylor became upset due to the masterful skill being employed against him, and accused yours truly of cheating. I took exception to this, of course, as is in the proud heritage of the Woosters. Earlier in the week my aunt had chided me for losing my temper over a game of beer pong at the old dear's house, but her wise words were far from my mind as I began to give as good as I got and was kicked out of the club for the evening.

Already with a good number of those L Buds in the food bag, and with the streets of the suburb dancing gaily before me, I made the unwise decision to follow up on an earlier instagram convo. with one Ms. Breanna C. It was in this fashion that I hopped the local shuttle, and ended up at the mall, in front of the old convivial Cinnabon. It was here that the series of events that you are about to read began to unfold. Therefore, with all of the preceding preamble in mind, it is wise to consider (when blame is being placed) that it shall squarely on the shoulders of one sore loser named Taylor (who otherwise does not factor into this story).
posted by codacorolla at 2:11 PM on December 19, 2014 [72 favorites]


You'll need to lock up your spoons.

And your cow creamers.
posted by Ziggy500 at 2:15 PM on December 19, 2014 [21 favorites]


Hm. I was under the impression that Wodehouse was a new, very sophisticated sub-genre of EDM.
posted by The World Famous at 2:44 PM on December 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE COPPERS
posted by The Whelk at 2:46 PM on December 19, 2014 [5 favorites]


G. D'Arcy Cheesewright of the local police force has given notice that four persons of interest are currently being sought in connection with the rash of vandalism.

The first is a tall and muscular man who frequently wears a yellow coat. He has a history as a con artist and while he has no history of unprovoked violence, citzens are advised to avoid engaging with him and to avoid the big, broad, flexible outlook.

The second man, tall and thin, is characterize by his unusual monocle which he is never without. Invariably well dressed, this man frequently speaks of practical socialism, but it is believed his crimes are primarily pecuniary and not political in nature.

The third and fourth men bear striking resemblences to British actors Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry. These two invariably work as a team, with the Stephen Fry look-a-like as the brains of the operation. There is some evidence that the Laurie look-a-like and the tall thin man mentioned above are members of the same club or gang.

Local PD is providing no names as they have found the persons of interest are prone to the use of false names. Unfortunately many local officers have become unwilling to respond to Wodehousing incidents due to the frequency of subsequent theft of police department property.

"I've lost four helmets this year, really I can't be bothered to turn out anymore" Constable Dobbs is quoted as saying "It's as ridiculous as that nonsense about Jonah and the Whale." Word on the street is the local rozzer lost another helmet that night.
posted by pseudonick at 2:48 PM on December 19, 2014 [6 favorites]


I'll tell you this much: You'll need to lock up your spoons.

Yeah. He keeps making me carry his bag through customs as well.
posted by Talez at 3:23 PM on December 19, 2014


This could explain that random banjolele music I keep hearing. It's terrifying my Pomeranian.
posted by Jernau at 3:34 PM on December 19, 2014 [5 favorites]


I dunno...I feel like this is a major improvement over most of the residential-style 'tagging' I'm accustomed to. It seems far more thought provoking and clever (Yay Wodehouse) than poorly scrawled letters that (attempt... often shakily) to spell out an artists tag name (ie: soandso wuz herez) or something crudely funny (ie: shitbarf).
posted by stubbehtail at 3:40 PM on December 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


everyone knows clickhole is an onion affiliate right
posted by PMdixon at 3:49 PM on December 19, 2014 [9 favorites]


PMdixon -- I don't think anyone in this thread is taking this as something happening in real life.
posted by hippybear at 3:57 PM on December 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


Clickhole is incredible and I think maybe even possibly better than the Onion.

boyfriend and I laughed til we cried the other night as we were taking the "Will Hanukkah Consume You?" quiz. every time he emails me something from it I just lose hours reading all the things. I was also quite amused by Which Bing Bong Theory Are You and who am I kidding every time I try to list one or highlights I just go back and read them all because they are nearly all hilarious
posted by ghostbikes at 3:58 PM on December 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


I'mma let you finish, but everyone knows the greatest Clickhole article of all time was "On Every Anniversary Of The Moon Landing, My Thoughts Always Turn To That Horse Neil Armstrong And I Jettisoned Out Of The Airlock"
posted by Cookiebastard at 4:21 PM on December 19, 2014 [8 favorites]


Clickhole is honestly quite amazing. It reaches the level of 70s-era National Lampoon.
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:31 PM on December 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


P. G. Wodehouse fucking died on the same day that I was born. That's how in to this I am.
posted by i_have_a_computer at 6:19 PM on December 19, 2014


Aerosols? Dear me, no.

A gentleman uses an airbrush, whose pressure is supplied either by velocipede, or, if one has competed in the Boat Race, by a compressor powered with a vigorous rowing motion.

Anything else is simply unsporting.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:21 PM on December 19, 2014 [5 favorites]


I seriously do not understand how clickhole manages to be so fucking brilliant and hilarious 100% of the time. It's like my mind has gone crazy with the Candle Madness.
posted by Saxon Kane at 7:17 PM on December 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


It was a droll sport, the sort in which my chum Asbo Smythe-Bettington frequently indulged with great enthusiasm.
posted by Spatch at 7:44 PM on December 19, 2014 [7 favorites]


P. G. Wodehouse fucking died on the same day that I was born. That's how in to this I am.

So you're, like, what, the second P. G. Wodehouse? Do you wear a really long scarf to distinguish yourself from him?
posted by Elementary Penguin at 3:46 AM on December 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


That would be the fourth P.G. Wodehouse. The second P.G. Wodehouse was obsessed with hats and played the recorder.
posted by Grangousier at 4:10 AM on December 20, 2014 [9 favorites]


A Facebook commenter laments our pathetic need to reach across the Atlantic for literary reference. She asks, inspirationally, “Why not Parkering?”

I am currently looking for teenage volunteers while simultaneously scouting locations in Winnetka to execute, in cursive: “The House Beautiful is, to me, the play lousy.”
posted by Short Attention Sp at 4:57 AM on December 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


The shocking thing is how this article discounts the real threat of Thurbering, just because there have been a few high-profile cases of Wodehousing in the news lately. Anyone who wakes up to find "The Figgerin' of Aunt Wilma" scrawled across their garage door is going to wish they'd only been Wodehoused.
posted by McCoy Pauley at 8:01 AM on December 20, 2014 [5 favorites]


Could we get Hugh Laurie to do a very special episode of House called "How Many Houses Could House Wodehouse if House Wodehoused Houses?" Stephen Fry could guest star.

For ages there was what seemed like a solid rumour that Fry was going to show up in the final season as House's mentor from med school.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 8:32 AM on December 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


I'm Wodehard, I always make Jeeves drink my breakfast.
posted by The Whelk at 8:32 AM on December 20, 2014


And finally we learn Jeeves' first name: Putawaywet.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 8:35 AM on December 20, 2014


Other Clickhole brilliance: 7 New Carols to Sing.
posted by codacorolla at 9:43 AM on December 20, 2014 [3 favorites]


Those are great codacorolla! Myrrh... myrrh... myrrh...
posted by JHarris at 10:04 AM on December 20, 2014


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