"Of Course!"
January 14, 2015 11:09 AM   Subscribe

An hour of Murder She Wrote's Jessica Fletcher having Epiphanies by Isaac Royffe (actual epiphanies begin at 2:37)
posted by The Whelk (31 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
 
In reality, she's the murderer and these epiphanies are not about solving the case, but of finding a perfect way to frame the 'mark'.
posted by Poldo at 11:14 AM on January 14, 2015 [12 favorites]


"People have a hard time imagining a sweet old woman being a murderer. But what else could explain why Cabot Cove has the highest murder rate in the world? A study in 2012 revealed that during the course of the series the coastal town had “a total of 274 killings in the small town in Maine, despite it having a population of just 3,500.” That’s a higher murder rate than Honduras, the most violent country in the world."
posted by leotrotsky at 11:18 AM on January 14, 2015 [8 favorites]




I thought I recognized the opera singer from 00:55. It's none other than Khrystyne Haje, the redhead from Head of the Class.

80s television has apparently imprinted on me until the end of time.
posted by leotrotsky at 11:23 AM on January 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


Too Many Crooks.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 11:38 AM on January 14, 2015 [9 favorites]


I prefer Landsbury's take on American Psycho.
posted by furtive at 11:40 AM on January 14, 2015 [3 favorites]


Really, what you should do if you want to experience Murder She Wrote in all its glory is watch the one guest starring Adam West, Jerry Orbach, Ernest Borgnine and a young Levar Burton all at the same dang time.

But if you're not going to do that, you could do worse than skimming this (not even I would watch the whole thing, though it's length is a testament to how crazy long that show was on the air).

I also subscribe to the theory that the only reasonable explanation for the show is that Jessica is a serial killer who went on a 12 year murder spree.
posted by sparkletone at 11:42 AM on January 14, 2015 [3 favorites]


There really needs to be one of these for Scooby Doo villain unmaskings but Google is coming up empty.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 11:46 AM on January 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


Jessica is a serial killer who went on a 12 year murder spree

She littered(!) in the last episode I watched, she's shown herself to be willing to break the law when it suits her purpose.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 11:54 AM on January 14, 2015 [2 favorites]


Tangentially discovered (meaning: I got curious and checked out the Wiki page for the show) - the list of names the show took on during international syndication. Some Latin American countries re-named the show "Crime Reporter" or "A Crime Has Been Written", while in Serbia it took on the mundane "A Writer And A Detective". In Italy it was inexplicably known as "The Lady In Yellow", while in France it was called "Arabesque", and in Austria and Germany it got the alarming name "Murder Is Her Hobby". And in Japan - and this is probably my favorite - the show was known as "Auntie Jessica's Case Files".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:56 AM on January 14, 2015 [7 favorites]


AUNTIE JESSICA'S case files sounds adorable
posted by The Whelk at 11:58 AM on January 14, 2015


Austria and Germany it got the alarming name "Murder Is Her Hobby"

So then the German localizers knew what was actually going on.
posted by zixyer at 12:14 PM on January 14, 2015 [8 favorites]


Now do it for House.
posted by gottabefunky at 12:21 PM on January 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


Can't find any International Syndication re-titling data for House, sorry.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:29 PM on January 14, 2015


(I meant the epiphany montage.)
posted by gottabefunky at 1:06 PM on January 14, 2015


Well slap my ass and call me Sally.
posted by gottabefunky at 1:07 PM on January 14, 2015


(I meant the epiphany montage.)

And I was making a joke....
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:10 PM on January 14, 2015


In Great Britain, the show was retitled "That Brilliant Arsehole," while Spanish-speaking countries go with the more poetic "Physician, Heal Thyself."

In Malaysia the new title translates roughly as "Can You Say Hostile Work Environment?" and in Russia it's "Bedside Manners."

They just call it "Home" in Greenland.
posted by gottabefunky at 1:23 PM on January 14, 2015 [4 favorites]


I love supercuts but I could only go so many "say that again" before I gave up.

The supercut I've been threatening to make is one of Chris Kimball & Company's "o faces" after they taste their completed recipes in the Test Kitchen.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 1:24 PM on January 14, 2015 [3 favorites]


In Sweden, House MD is retitled "No Lupus, Yes Pill"
posted by dr_dank at 2:14 PM on January 14, 2015 [2 favorites]


I think there are some Pacific Island nations where it's called Wilson Is Also In Each Episode.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:22 PM on January 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


Is the name of Murder, She Wrote meant to be a joking, but too old and obscure, reference to Murder, He Says?
posted by enf at 2:31 PM on January 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


Actually (I'm loving this Wiki page!) it's inspired by the movie Murder, SHE Said, which was itself a movie adaptation of a Miss Marple book.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:34 PM on January 14, 2015 [2 favorites]


When I was a kid my friends and I had a "radio show" called the Friendly Windy Radio Theatre. We used a little knockoff keyboard for the organ effects and commercials. It had a pre-programmed song that would use a short recording of your voice to create a chorus effect and we decided to take advantage of it for our TV commercials block. We brainstormed and brainstormed on what to have it say and finally settled on "WATCH MURDER, SHE WROTE."

It was glorious.
posted by mynameisluka at 3:30 PM on January 14, 2015 [2 favorites]


Oh, you can't mention Betty Hutton without a link to the song!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 5:26 PM on January 14, 2015


The formula for an episode of Murder She Wrote from the very wonderful Tom Francis (Gunpoint, Heat Signature).
posted by Sebmojo at 6:20 PM on January 14, 2015 [2 favorites]


SOMEONE’S WIFE, YOU FORGET WHOSE is rummaging through a bin at the crime scene.

JESSICA:
Looking for this? (She holds up an earring)

SOMEONE’S WIFE, YOU FORGET WHOSE:
Jessica! No, I was just… I thought I heard a dog, in the bin.

JESSICA:
I’m afraid it’s over, Someone’s Wife. You killed Desperate for basically the same mundane, practical reason as one of the male suspects, but you didn’t get much screen time so it still seems like a surprise. I found your earring at the crime scene, and when I give it to the police I’m sure they’ll prove it was yours.

SOMEONE’S WIFE, YOU FORGET WHOSE:
Not if I happen to have a gun on me and draw it now, honestly planning to kill an old lady over some fairly flimsy evidence but for some reason wanting to warn her first!

POLICE IDIOT:
(Emerging from the shadows) Drop it, Someone’s Wife!

SOMEONE’S WIFE, YOU FORGET WHOSE:
Oh for God’s sake. Why do you let her do these things as a weird piece of theatre?

POLICE IDIOT:
Her chain of evidence is always hopelessly weak, so we just have to hope you’ll either kill her or confess.

JESSICA:
It’s true. I have no reason to mention this beyond simple smarm now, but I never found any earring.

SOMEONE’S WIFE, YOU FORGET WHOSE:
Then how?!

JESSICA:
Oh, it was quite simple, really. The moss. When I saw you at the funeral earlier, the camera focused weirdly on a piece of moss on your shoe. I happened to remember that this moss only grows in one place in the world, the crime scene, and it only sticks to murderers.

But I had to wait for someone to mention the word ‘moss’ in a different context before I made this trivial extra step as if it was a moment of serendipitous inspiration, which for some reason is how we want crimes to be solved.

SOMEONE’S WIFE, YOU FORGET WHOSE:
I regret stepping in the murder moss.

posted by Sebmojo at 6:28 PM on January 14, 2015 [8 favorites]


When I saw you at the funeral earlier, the camera focused weirdly on a piece of moss on your shoe.

It really shouldn't be beyond the wit of a prosecutor to subpœna the video feed from the omniscient but strangely and specifically pertinent camera, you'd have thought. Life would be so much easier.
posted by ambrosen at 10:37 AM on January 16, 2015




[No problem, I've swapped the link in the post, should be all set n—wait, say that again? 'Taken down'? That's...that's it! Mrs. Gunderson didn't want to lose the insurance payout, so she took the noose down from the attic rafter, and Ralph's body with it, and set it up instead in front of the porn video to try and make his death look like an autoerotic asphyxiation mishap!]
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:21 AM on January 21, 2015 [4 favorites]


Mrs. Gunderson didn't want to lose the insurance payout, so she took the noose down from the attic rafter

I believe Mrs Gunderson lives in the town Jessica Fletcher's going to next week, cortex. Got any confessions you might want to share with us?
posted by ambrosen at 4:47 PM on January 21, 2015


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