Lady Di and Dodi demise film, "Unlawful Killing"
January 20, 2015 3:14 PM Subscribe
Lawyers allegedly demanded 87 cuts to Keith Allen's film - about the death of Lady Diana, Dodi and Henry Paul - before it could be broadcast. So online - and specifically - here is probably the only place where you will get to see it. "Unlawful Killing" deals with the incident and the subsequent Operation Paget investigation in 2008. It alleges a good deal of foul play.
The film is a bold summary of the general theses that the demise of Diana and Dodi looked retrospectively a little convenient for a number of powerful parties. Anybody considering its neutrality should be aware that its uncredited backer for the film was non other than Mohamed Al-Fayed. They should also study this page listing the "conspiracy theory" allegations surrounding their incident - many of the assertions made in the film are more nuanced than depicted - or simply refuted. Finally, of course, we should look to Mitchel and Webb to tell us how the conspiracy was actually planned.
The film is a bold summary of the general theses that the demise of Diana and Dodi looked retrospectively a little convenient for a number of powerful parties. Anybody considering its neutrality should be aware that its uncredited backer for the film was non other than Mohamed Al-Fayed. They should also study this page listing the "conspiracy theory" allegations surrounding their incident - many of the assertions made in the film are more nuanced than depicted - or simply refuted. Finally, of course, we should look to Mitchel and Webb to tell us how the conspiracy was actually planned.
Poor old Keith probably hasn't recovered from seeing his son's winky cut off by a bastard.
posted by sobarel at 3:32 PM on January 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by sobarel at 3:32 PM on January 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
That Mitchell and Webb piece says pretty much everything that needs to be said.
posted by yoink at 3:41 PM on January 20, 2015 [21 favorites]
posted by yoink at 3:41 PM on January 20, 2015 [21 favorites]
I can't believe they censored the truth, those fugging bastards.
posted by Thing at 4:01 PM on January 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Thing at 4:01 PM on January 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Their similar moon-landing hoax sketch is also brilliant.
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:01 PM on January 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:01 PM on January 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
They were all, including their driver, drunk. They were driving 120mph. They were not wearing seatbelts (!) They ran into a concrete wall. Of course they died. I've never understood Mohamed al-Fayed's obsession with making this more than it was, except perhaps that as a fabulously rich guy, he cannot accept that not everything you want in the world can be bought. Parenthetically, when will the English throw their idiotic royal family out on their asses and have done with it?
posted by jackbrown at 4:03 PM on January 20, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by jackbrown at 4:03 PM on January 20, 2015 [6 favorites]
This seems to be blocked in the UK so can anyone tell me whether Allen gives us proof of the Royal Family's secret lizard identities in the movie?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:19 PM on January 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:19 PM on January 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'm in the UK and it works for me...
More proof of conspiracy!
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:26 PM on January 20, 2015 [11 favorites]
More proof of conspiracy!
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:26 PM on January 20, 2015 [11 favorites]
From the Wales Online link:
posted by brundlefly at 4:29 PM on January 20, 2015 [15 favorites]
Allen said he did not mention Mr al-Fayed’s involvement during the film because it “would have interrupted the flow”.What a bizarre thing to say.
He added: “I think you’ll find there are an immense number of films coming out in America and all over the world that are financed by the Mafia and there is no reference to that.”
posted by brundlefly at 4:29 PM on January 20, 2015 [15 favorites]
Weird, I just get a big black box that says:
"Sorry. Because of it's privacy settings this video cannot be played here."
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:30 PM on January 20, 2015
"Sorry. Because of it's privacy settings this video cannot be played here."
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:30 PM on January 20, 2015
You know too much already.
posted by sobarel at 4:32 PM on January 20, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by sobarel at 4:32 PM on January 20, 2015 [16 favorites]
What a bizarre thing to say.
Just how much are the Mafia paying you to say that?
posted by yoink at 4:42 PM on January 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
Just how much are the Mafia paying you to say that?
posted by yoink at 4:42 PM on January 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
Finally, of course, we should look to Mitchel and Webb to tell us how the conspiracy was actually planned.
I've been on one form of the internet or another since dial-up bbs systems in the 80's. You'd think I'd have learned by now to never read the comments on anything on the internet ever. Nope. Haven't learned that lesson yet.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:43 PM on January 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
I've been on one form of the internet or another since dial-up bbs systems in the 80's. You'd think I'd have learned by now to never read the comments on anything on the internet ever. Nope. Haven't learned that lesson yet.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:43 PM on January 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
never read the comments
So, of course, that made me go and read the comments. Where I found this gem:
posted by yoink at 4:47 PM on January 20, 2015 [27 favorites]
So, of course, that made me go and read the comments. Where I found this gem:
a slightly drunk chauffeur? so the inebriati were behind the assassination all along!Man, wading through a few "why don't they do REAL hoaxes like the Holocaust" comments to get that was totally worth it.
posted by yoink at 4:47 PM on January 20, 2015 [27 favorites]
a bold summary of the general theses that the bla bla ...
How about the general theses that who gives a fuck?
posted by signal at 4:49 PM on January 20, 2015
How about the general theses that who gives a fuck?
posted by signal at 4:49 PM on January 20, 2015
I shouted out "Who killed the Kennedys?" when after all it was you and me..
posted by Nerd of the North at 5:01 PM on January 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Nerd of the North at 5:01 PM on January 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
I knew it, Brian Jones is alive and living in Norwich!
posted by clavdivs at 5:06 PM on January 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 5:06 PM on January 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
I knew it, Brian Jones is alive and living in Norwich!
Raising terriers, no doubt.
posted by basicchannel at 5:21 PM on January 20, 2015
Raising terriers, no doubt.
posted by basicchannel at 5:21 PM on January 20, 2015
I used to respect Keith Allen. Did he have a big tax bill in 2011 or something? Blow all his wages on cocaine, maybe?
Maybe Allen owed the Al-Fayed family for beak and did the movie to repay the debt?
Whatever, the whole movie seems like Allen had the curtains twitching and the bugs crawling under his skin while he was making this.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:27 PM on January 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Maybe Allen owed the Al-Fayed family for beak and did the movie to repay the debt?
Whatever, the whole movie seems like Allen had the curtains twitching and the bugs crawling under his skin while he was making this.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:27 PM on January 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
I think I shall take an American-style "the truth is somewhere in the middle" position and propose that there WAS a conspiracy to kill her, and it failed because she was killed in a car accident first. Done.
posted by anonymisc at 5:46 PM on January 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by anonymisc at 5:46 PM on January 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
People who want to take photos of famous people + famous people who don't want their photos taken + high speeds + alcohol = this car crash.
That's a pretty short movie though.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:47 PM on January 20, 2015
That's a pretty short movie though.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:47 PM on January 20, 2015
I've been known, in my youth to tipple. I've mentioned how I grew up around racing, and fast cars, and being track trained to drive. I have driven over 120 miles an hour, and it is not a thing which should, or possibly can, be done successfully for any length of time while plastered. Especially trying evasive maneuvers. I love conspiracies as much as the next cabal member, but this was user error. (There is no cabal.)
posted by dejah420 at 6:58 PM on January 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by dejah420 at 6:58 PM on January 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
The saddest thing is the ongoing belief in some of the more ridiculous conspiracy theory when we see announcements like the one from Oxfam at Davos, where half of the world's wealth will be held by 1% of the world's population. While people are distracted by nonsense like this, there are evil schemes afoot but they just focus on silly things like money, power and ongoing oppression.
If James Bond was filmed in anything approaching a realistic manner, SPECTRE would be Spectre, Smersh et Cie, Established 1720, and be carrying out quasi-legal money manipulation to destabilise the world econo...
I've said too much. They're here. Oh, hello, Idris!
posted by nfalkner at 7:05 PM on January 20, 2015 [10 favorites]
If James Bond was filmed in anything approaching a realistic manner, SPECTRE would be Spectre, Smersh et Cie, Established 1720, and be carrying out quasi-legal money manipulation to destabilise the world econo...
I've said too much. They're here. Oh, hello, Idris!
posted by nfalkner at 7:05 PM on January 20, 2015 [10 favorites]
so the inebriati were behind the assassination all along!
All of their conspiracies start with "Hold my beer!" and end up on YouTube.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:18 PM on January 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
All of their conspiracies start with "Hold my beer!" and end up on YouTube.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:18 PM on January 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
Parenthetically, when will the English throw their idiotic royal family out on their asses and have done with it?
I dunno, we have Disneyland, and they have the Royals. Seems fair to me.
I think I shall take an American-style "the truth is somewhere in the middle" position
Actually, I'd say a truly American theory would be that Diana faked her death, and is currently managing a Seven-11 outside Pheonix Arizona. Every Wednesday she gets together for tea and donuts with that nice Presley guy who works at the gas station down the way.
posted by happyroach at 10:59 PM on January 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
I dunno, we have Disneyland, and they have the Royals. Seems fair to me.
I think I shall take an American-style "the truth is somewhere in the middle" position
Actually, I'd say a truly American theory would be that Diana faked her death, and is currently managing a Seven-11 outside Pheonix Arizona. Every Wednesday she gets together for tea and donuts with that nice Presley guy who works at the gas station down the way.
posted by happyroach at 10:59 PM on January 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
happyroach: "Actually, I'd say a truly American theory would be that Diana faked her death, and is currently managing a Seven-11 outside Pheonix Arizona."
Could you please direct me to that particular 7-11 outside Phoenix? I think Di's stunning beauty and immense wealth would pair nicely with my down-to-Earth upbringing and middle class existence. I'm sure she and I would be happy together.
(Let's just say August of '97 was a crushing time for me. And I learned about it from a bartender who was clearly from Ireland. Northern or Republic I don't know, but he was very sad.)
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 1:01 AM on January 21, 2015
Could you please direct me to that particular 7-11 outside Phoenix? I think Di's stunning beauty and immense wealth would pair nicely with my down-to-Earth upbringing and middle class existence. I'm sure she and I would be happy together.
(Let's just say August of '97 was a crushing time for me. And I learned about it from a bartender who was clearly from Ireland. Northern or Republic I don't know, but he was very sad.)
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 1:01 AM on January 21, 2015
If I really were to be somebody who planned to attempt to murder Diana that night (perhaps the least implausible assassin would have to be a well-informed individual who used another vehicle to cause the accident and then was lucky enough for the crash to have been fatal and for their getaway to have been successful) then I could have wished for no greater addition to my already massive pile of good fortune- than to have Mohamed Al-Fayed be my chief accuser.
Not to say that I don't sympathise for Al-Fayed's case: he lost a son and, if he seems a bit crazy and paranoid, that can be understood when dealing with the balancing craziness and paranoia of the British royals, the global media and perhaps Diana herself.
posted by rongorongo at 4:01 AM on January 21, 2015
Not to say that I don't sympathise for Al-Fayed's case: he lost a son and, if he seems a bit crazy and paranoid, that can be understood when dealing with the balancing craziness and paranoia of the British royals, the global media and perhaps Diana herself.
posted by rongorongo at 4:01 AM on January 21, 2015
Mitchel and Webb
Holy (hahahahaha) laugh (hahahahaha) track.
posted by Trochanter at 5:49 AM on January 21, 2015
Holy (hahahahaha) laugh (hahahahaha) track.
posted by Trochanter at 5:49 AM on January 21, 2015
jackbrown: I've never understood Mohamed al-Fayed's obsession with making this more than it was, except perhaps that as a fabulously rich guy, he cannot accept that not everything you want in the world can be bought.It's actually more simple than that. He's a grieving parent. "Why did my son have to die?" begs a more important answer than "fuckup drunk chauffeur". "He was the heroically innocent victim of a high-stakes power bid involving players at the very top - The Very Top! - of world politics" is hella more comforting.
Everyone who grieves asks "Why?".
posted by IAmBroom at 8:44 AM on January 21, 2015 [3 favorites]
Everyone who grieves asks "Why?".
Indeed. Much the same logic drives the Kennedy conspiracy theories. "It can't just have been some whack-job loon who caused this massive disruption to the nation! There must be larger, more significant forces at play!"
posted by yoink at 9:25 AM on January 21, 2015 [3 favorites]
Indeed. Much the same logic drives the Kennedy conspiracy theories. "It can't just have been some whack-job loon who caused this massive disruption to the nation! There must be larger, more significant forces at play!"
posted by yoink at 9:25 AM on January 21, 2015 [3 favorites]
Inebriati is another Mitchell and Webb sketch and also how the world really works.
posted by sandswipe at 7:16 PM on January 21, 2015
posted by sandswipe at 7:16 PM on January 21, 2015
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Oh yeah that totally makes all the sense in the world. Let's plan a high-speed car crash as a warning! I'm completely convinced now.
posted by winna at 3:30 PM on January 20, 2015 [10 favorites]