Taco to the face
March 25, 2015 7:11 AM   Subscribe

 
I think your dog needs lasik.
posted by General Tonic at 7:20 AM on March 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


My golden retriever Bellamy is basically this dog. We joke that we're going to take away his dog license because he typically Fails at Catching. HARD.

Problem is, he is too kind hearted to go for the food once it drops and within milliseconds one of his two sisters has claimed what was to be his treat.

It gets brought up everywhere this is posted but the eye sight is just fine. Golden's just have a knack for being A)Very Smart but B) very bad at catching food.
posted by Twain Device at 7:22 AM on March 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


I don't care what the poster says, that poor dog is blind in one eye. You can't tell me a grown-ass retriever breed has that much trouble catching things in its mouth.
I have a big problem with people humiliating their dogs for lulz. Doesn't matter if its harmful to the dog or not, that shit's just mean.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 7:23 AM on March 25, 2015 [15 favorites]


If the dog catches balls just fine, as mentioned in the Youtube comments, and can't catch food, I doubt it's an eyesight problem. Just a dog brain problem.
posted by smackfu at 7:27 AM on March 25, 2015 [3 favorites]


I have a big problem with people humiliating their dogs for lulz.

Yeah, just imagine how upset this dog is when it reads the comments on that YouTube video! I think it basically deleted its Twitter account, too.
posted by yoink at 7:27 AM on March 25, 2015 [81 favorites]


I did notice that he has a grey muzzle, so he might just be older and have slower reflexes? But I've never owned a Golden so I don't know if that's a thing they have trouble with. The nice thing about dogs is, he doesn't care so long as he does get to eat the snack.
posted by emjaybee at 7:28 AM on March 25, 2015


I've seen three types of comments to this video:

1) That is hilarious.
2) That poor doggie.
3) You shouldn't feed that food to a dog.

There's probably some deep truth in which one you pick.
posted by smackfu at 7:30 AM on March 25, 2015 [9 favorites]


It's quite clear that with the pizza catch at least, poor Fritz decides at the last moment it's not worth catching.
posted by MartinWisse at 7:33 AM on March 25, 2015 [6 favorites]


Showed this to my partner. "That's just someone throwing food at a dog!"

Yes. Yes it is.
posted by terretu at 7:34 AM on March 25, 2015 [13 favorites]


I found it hilarious. The guy states that he doesn't actually let the dog eat the majority of stuff he throws at him. If he catches the food then it's fine, but if it falls to the ground he picks it back up before the dog can eat it. He probably couldn't manage that with the taco though.
posted by rancher at 7:38 AM on March 25, 2015


The moral equivalent of f*cking with the mentally disabled kid on your block and laughing at him... he may be happy you're paying attention to him and not sharp enough to understand what's going on, but you're still a colossal douchebag.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 7:41 AM on March 25, 2015 [4 favorites]


As long as the taco doesn't have salsa, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with feeding a taco to a dog.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:43 AM on March 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


I don't know, I've taught about four or five dogs to catch tossed treats now and there is very definitely a learning curve. And some dogs who don't appear to have any issues with vision take a long time to get the hang of figuring out where the food is going to be--and again, this is with a relatively small, roundish object like a biscuit or a tiny moist training treat that has a very defined rate of trajectory. Usually it's dogs who are either SO EXCITED about the treat that they can't think or, more commonly, dogs who are more concerned with "wtf is that flying at my face" than actually catching and eating the treat.

This dog is trying to catch stuff that isn't necessarily all going to move the same way, like the taco vs the doughnut. And they're comparatively WAY bigger food pieces, too. If he didn't have a really strong "catch" before, I can totally see a dog who wasn't particularly good at the easy stuff reacting like this, especially if he's food motivated enough that the excitement of "food!" turns his brain off.

(He also doesn't seem to be bothered and if anything seems excited about the chance to get himself a taco/doughnut/etc, so I wouldn't call this animal cruelty either. A dog who shied away from the food, maybe, but this guy is jumping to grab it and overshooting, mostly.)
posted by sciatrix at 7:44 AM on March 25, 2015 [8 favorites]


The moral equivalent of f*cking with the mentally disabled kid on your block and laughing at him... he may be happy you're paying attention to him and not sharp enough to understand what's going on, but you're still a colossal douchebag.

It is a dog. He is being played with and given attention and occasionally something tasty. It also happens to be funny. That's such a false equivalency I don't even know where to begin.
posted by Twain Device at 7:45 AM on March 25, 2015 [85 favorites]


Little Johnnie is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnnie his choice between a nickel and a dime -- Little Johnnie always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnnie takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnnie, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnnie grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it!"
posted by damo at 7:50 AM on March 25, 2015 [55 favorites]


Also, re: him being a retriever--guys, retrievers weren't actually bred to catch ducks out of the air. They were bred to swim through nasty cold water and run through brambles to pick up a dead, stationary duck and carry it back. Notwithstanding that most retrievers these days are not necessarily bred by people using them to actually retrieve on a working level, dexterity grabbing a moving target isn't something that breeders have traditionally selected for in Goldens. Unless he comes from lines bred for flyball or something, I think it's pretty absurd to say a lack of skill at catching moving targets must mean the dog is partially blind because retrievers were bred to be good at that.
posted by sciatrix at 7:51 AM on March 25, 2015 [12 favorites]


Eyesight is not the main mode for dogs, anyway...you'll notice that when the hotdog and bun separate on his face, he goes for the hotdog. Stereo olfactory system for the win.
posted by notsnot at 8:01 AM on March 25, 2015 [5 favorites]


He totally had the hot dog bun, but wanted the actual hot dog itself more.

Also: FRENCH FRY!
posted by RainyJay at 8:03 AM on March 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


The dog's vision looks fine, but mine may be in trouble after eye-rolling so much at the people worried about the dog's feelings.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:06 AM on March 25, 2015 [15 favorites]


The moral equivalent of f*cking with the mentally disabled kid on your block and laughing at him... he may be happy you're paying attention to him and not sharp enough to understand what's going on, but you're still a colossal douchebag.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 12:41 PM on March 25 [+] [!]


Please don't compare children with mental disabilities to dogs. It is not the same and I implore you to figure out what leads you to think it's comparable.
posted by FirstMateKate at 8:10 AM on March 25, 2015 [35 favorites]


The point I'm making is about "people" who think humiliating others is fun, not about the relative worth and dignity of their respective victims.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 8:19 AM on March 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


It is wise to examine something first before letting it get into your mouth.
Catching a ball is a repeated act with the same object. The dog learns that it is safe.

The food is different enough each time that the dog needs to check it out before
eating it. The miss is intentional.

Smart dog, IMO.
posted by snaparapans at 8:22 AM on March 25, 2015 [5 favorites]


Can you humiliate creatures that don't feel shame? Quit projecting. You can't strip the humanity from creatures that are literally nonhuman.

But, seriously, don't feed your dogs junk food.
posted by absalom at 8:22 AM on March 25, 2015 [4 favorites]


"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to." —Mark Twain

The dog will be fine.
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:28 AM on March 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


What about a dog fooling another dog, twice?
posted by elgilito at 8:29 AM on March 25, 2015 [18 favorites]


Dog 1 in our household was terrible at catching food until Dog 2 arrived.
posted by deludingmyself at 8:31 AM on March 25, 2015 [4 favorites]


Your pet dog ideally gives you love, loyalty, and affection. In return he deserves your protection, respect, and love. All creatures deserve some measure of dignity as well, and a loyal dog is as deserving of dignity as any creature on earth.
Pitching food at your dog you know damn well he can't catch, recording yourself doing so, and posting the act to YouTube so gawkers can get a good laugh is not respectful. Doing so robs the dog of his dignity. It's a dick move.
Again, it doesn't matter that the dog loves this game and enjoys getting treats. In fact, that kind of makes it worse because the poster is exploiting the dog's unquestioning loving nature and natural enthusiasm to make a fool out of the dog.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 8:33 AM on March 25, 2015 [7 favorites]


My dog can't catch a ball, or food, or anything in her mouth. Food tossed to her bounces off her face. A tennis ball has to hit the ground before she can tell where it is. Some sort of weird visual processing problem I guess.

Pretty sure the dog doesn't mind being gently mocked on social media.
posted by suelac at 8:39 AM on March 25, 2015


The big winner here is anthropomorphism.
posted by librosegretti at 8:39 AM on March 25, 2015 [43 favorites]


As long as the taco doesn't have salsa, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with feeding a taco to a dog.


I think it only fair that we consider the moral complications of giving a taco to a dog. What are the ethics of the situation?
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 8:42 AM on March 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


I, for one, am glad somebody is standing up for the dignity of dogs.
My dog would, but he's too busy licking his own butt.
posted by Floydd at 8:42 AM on March 25, 2015 [33 favorites]


No mutt shaming, Floydd!
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:50 AM on March 25, 2015 [3 favorites]


All creatures deserve some measure of dignity as well, and a loyal dog is as deserving of dignity as any creature on earth.
Pitching food at your dog you know damn well he can't catch, recording yourself doing so, and posting the act to YouTube so gawkers can get a good laugh is not respectful. Doing so robs the dog of his dignity.


This is a rat's nest of unfounded assumptions. Dog are not people. I don't think there's any good reason to expect them to understand, much less care about, human concepts like "dignity" and "respect." In my experience, they understand kindness and cruelty, but dignity and respect are different and more nuanced and you haven't offered any real support for the idea that a dog would understand them. Moreover, there's no reason to think that "looking silly on the internet" would offend a dog's sense of dignity if he or she had one; it (could) offend a human's but, again, why do you presume to universalize that experience?

Even if we assume that the dog has a sense of dignity that's akin to a human's, it assumes that laughing at someone is inherently contradictory to giving them dignity and respect, which is not consistent with lived experience in the slightest. I laugh at people I love and respect. They laugh at me. This is common. There's no affront to my dignity for my wife to laugh at me falling over or trying to do something and failing. There certainly can be; if the laughing is accompanied by maliciousness or if I'm not enjoying the experience, but this dog seems happy and the owner seems to love him. That should be the bottom line.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:51 AM on March 25, 2015 [24 favorites]


Pfffft. I do stuff I am undignifiedly terrible at all the time. If my friends are allowed to hang out with me watching my attempts to dance and laughing like goons (and dancing terribly alongside me) while I laugh along too--anyway, it seems to me that we should also be allowed to laugh along with a dog happily being terrible at something he clearly finds fun.
posted by sciatrix at 8:56 AM on March 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


Thanks to everyone for together considering the viewer's potentially mocking reasons for delight, and also bringing up the tendency of humans to project onto others without full reflection. This was a cute video, a mirthful thread, and dogs are cuuuuuute~
posted by halifix at 8:56 AM on March 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


Half the fun of having a pet is making fun of it when it does dorky things. Am I not supposed to laugh when my cat stretches and accidentally rolls off the bed and falls on the floor?
posted by octothorpe at 9:00 AM on March 25, 2015 [12 favorites]


Please don't compare children with mental disabilities to dogs. It is not the same and I implore you to figure out what leads you to think it's comparable.

He's comparing the behaviors, not the victims. That's not to say that his comparison is apt; there is no contempt here, and no one thinks less of this hilarious dog because it can't catch food.
posted by Jpfed at 9:00 AM on March 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


"Ooooooops! Missed again! Better throw that pizza slice. I need more practice is all!"

- crafty dog
posted by orme at 9:02 AM on March 25, 2015 [4 favorites]


Our dog is pretty good at catching things like frizbees. He can actually snap things out of the air as they leave your hand which is pretty impressive (and somewhat startling). However, he has a heck of a time judging parabolic flight paths. So, if you throw something straight at his face, he'll probably catch it. If you loft it gently to him, he's going to miss it more than half the time. i suspect doggy brains are just not terribly adept at predicting flight paths.

Also, as someone who is a big lover of dogs, I don't think there's anything cruel about sharing a silly thing your poocher does (or fails at doing). Dogs are not capable of shame or embarrassment. They don't really care if you're ashamed or embarrassed for them.

Also, also [children != dogs & dogs != children] Stop making that comparison.
posted by ghostiger at 9:04 AM on March 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


Here metafilter, catch this plate of beans!


~splat~
posted by cashman at 9:04 AM on March 25, 2015 [75 favorites]


All creatures deserve some measure of dignity as well, and a loyal dog is as deserving of dignity as any creature on earth.

We don't know this dog is loyal. It could be a traitorous dog who plots its owner's downfall.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:05 AM on March 25, 2015 [29 favorites]


And do we really want to go to a place where disloyal dogs do not deserve dignity?
posted by smackfu at 9:06 AM on March 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


We don't know this dog is loyal. It could be a traitorous dog who plots its owner's downfall.

I would read this webcomic. Where is Jeph Jacques when you need him?
posted by Rubbstone at 9:11 AM on March 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


Who's to say this dog wouldn't have posted this video of himself anyway? Lots of people do, post videos of themselves acting foolishly because they are funny. He might have. On the internet, no one knows, etc.
posted by fiercecupcake at 9:12 AM on March 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


Also, re: him being a retriever--guys, retrievers weren't actually bred to catch ducks out of the air. They were bred to swim through nasty cold water and run through brambles to pick up a dead, stationary duck and carry it back.

Can confirm: my current dog is a very efficient dead duck retrieving Labrador [link TW: dead ducks]. He cannot catch a treat out of mid-air to save his life, I've spent the past 8 years inadvertently bouncing food off his head, his back, his eyes, his nose, etc because I keep forgetting how terrible he is at it. I don't think there's a body part on him that I haven't accidentally hit with snacks. He's a retriever, not catcher.

Previous dog was a red heeler and had amazing coordination. He could snap treats out of mid-air whilst being in mid-air himself. However, good luck getting him to bring anything back in one piece.
posted by jamaro at 9:14 AM on March 25, 2015 [3 favorites]


We don't know this dog is loyal. It could be a traitorous dog who plots its owner's downfall.

I would read this webcomic.


Not a webcomic, but it is a movie.
posted by jbickers at 9:25 AM on March 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


We don't know this dog is loyal. It could be a traitorous dog who plots its owner's downfall.
I would read this webcomic.


See also: Wilfred
posted by chatongriffes at 9:37 AM on March 25, 2015




I watched the video and laughed so hard I cried. Sorry, dog dignity?

We have two rescue dogs - one who was running wild in the desert for the beginning of her life, and another we think was probably chained in a yard before he was rescued.

Desert dog is an amazing huntress and I've seen her leap straight up to snatch flying doves out of the air. She also can catch any treat you toss to her and she and I enjoy that game quite a bit.

Our other dog is a golden/shepherd mix, and one of his nickname is Moose, because he's a large, shambolic, uncoordinated goofball. When we first got him, he had no idea how to catch a treat and I'm sure slo-mo video of him would've looked like this video, only with fewer burritos and more Charlie Bears. We've worked on treat-catching over the years though, and if I make a throwing gesture first to let him know it's coming, he does....okay.

So, the video made me laugh.
posted by Squeak Attack at 9:44 AM on March 25, 2015


Fritz used to be an adventurer like you, then he took a taco to the face.

I can't even remember the last time I laughed, let alone laughed so much that I was completely helpless to even slow the buckets of tears that were streaming down my face, but this did the trick within about 20 seconds. Dogs are the very, very best, and I hope this beautiful silver-muzz gets All The Bellyrubs (and salsa-free tacos) for humoring us so.

Thanks for the post, FirstMateKate!
posted by divined by radio at 9:50 AM on March 25, 2015 [7 favorites]


Man, if y'all have a problem with this, you're going to really hate me for what I'm about to do with my cat and a laser pointer. He's been trying to figure that shit out for years.

(I've got him convinced that the red dot "lives" in a heat vent in the living room. Sometimes I see him waiting, patiently, for it to come out so he can ambush it.)
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:50 AM on March 25, 2015 [40 favorites]


This just shows the dog knows the hygiene hypothesis and is applying dirt to his meals as a prophylactic health measure.
posted by srboisvert at 9:59 AM on March 25, 2015


That was hilarious. I need to try it with my dog now. But with dog-appropriate food.
posted by mumimor at 10:07 AM on March 25, 2015


All creatures deserve some measure of dignity as well, and a loyal dog is as deserving of dignity as any creature on earth.

Well yeah, except dogs hump inanimate objects, eat their own vomit, smell other animals' poop, and lick their own butt. I'm guessing their standards of dignity go waaaay below being thrown food for lulz.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 10:18 AM on March 25, 2015 [5 favorites]


Put another way, let he who has not eaten cat poop throw the first stone.

Hey, that's me! I can throw it.
posted by The Gaffer at 10:31 AM on March 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


Now I desperately want to see a YouTube video of someone grandstandingly defending the Dignity of Dogs (Dognity?) while their dog in the background slowly begins to lick its own genitals and does that thing dogs do where she gets so into it she loses balance falls over and makes a THUD sound and the person in the video has to turn around mid-monologue because their dog is now barking at the invisible antagonist who pushed her over.
posted by a manly man person who is male and masculine at 10:43 AM on March 25, 2015 [17 favorites]


In a few days an obscure advertising agency will take credit for the video, and it will be revealed that the whole thing was scripted and the dog was in on it the whole time.
posted by dephlogisticated at 10:46 AM on March 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


"Dignity Dog" would be a pretty good name for a Saturday morning cartoon superhero:

Who licks his balls while he's working a case?
Who eats his poop with a smile on his face?
Who drags his butt all over the place?
Dig-nit-y Dog!

posted by yoink at 10:50 AM on March 25, 2015 [15 favorites]


My dog eats chicken poop. I can't decide if that's better or worse than tacos.
posted by Sophie1 at 10:58 AM on March 25, 2015


Perspective. I live in a state in the South where a huge number of people literally chain dogs unprotected outdoors in all kinds of weather, let them run off leash into highways, shoot them, run over them, torture them, starve them, sell them for dogfighting, breed the living shit out of them, dump them on backroads (that's how I came into contact with our beloved rescue basset), and fill the underfunded shelters to overflowing with dogs they can't/won't care for or give a shit about. In short, a state where dogs are not living beings, but property to be done whatever one wants with.

I'm sorry, I'm about as big of a dog lover as you can find, but that dog looks well-fed, well-loved, healthy, and damn happy, which is more than you can say for the vast majority of dogs in my godforsaken hellhole of a state.
posted by blucevalo at 11:06 AM on March 25, 2015 [15 favorites]


Oh, and I forgot tie them up and drag them for miles behind them in pickup trucks. That happens too.
posted by blucevalo at 11:09 AM on March 25, 2015


Of course dogs don't care about dignity, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't, even if only because dignity, when not overwhelming your rationality, can be a nice check against impulsive reactions. The dog is obviously cared for well, so this is just play between loving owner and pet. There's some overreaction but there's nothing wrong with the idea conceptually as itself.

Snark is emotionally confusing and scaarrryyyy.
posted by halifix at 11:10 AM on March 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


We don't know this dog is loyal. It could be a traitorous dog who plots its owner's downfall.

"When you play the game of bones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground. "
- Cersei Labnister

sorry
posted by kyp at 11:28 AM on March 25, 2015 [8 favorites]


As long as the taco doesn't have salsa, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with feeding a taco to a dog.

I read that as saliva.
posted by slogger at 11:59 AM on March 25, 2015


I spent plenty of time this winter attempting to teach my neighbor's energetic Golden how to catch an alley-oop tossed snowball. Same learning curve. Concluded that the dog is branded as a Retriever, not a "catcher" for a reason ;)
posted by childofTethys at 12:23 PM on March 25, 2015


plot twist: all the naysayers are dogs
posted by book 'em dano at 12:44 PM on March 25, 2015


He's a golden retriever not a golden receiver.
posted by teleri025 at 1:06 PM on March 25, 2015 [5 favorites]


I have one dog who can be kind of snappy with treats, so he learned to catch them in mid-air very early out of necessity. He's excellent at food catching, and honestly he probably enjoys it more than simply taking treats from my hand (along with a finger or two).

I have another dog who is gentle at taking treats but clueless about catching food in mid-air. There have been many times where I have tossed a treat to him only to watch the treat bounce off his face and hit the ground. Then he'll just stand there and stare at the treat wondering how it flew out of nowhere to hit him before slowly concluding that eating the treat might be fun. That's assuming the other dog hasn't snatched it first.
posted by fremen at 1:11 PM on March 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


I play the same game all the time with my friend's (non-impaired) children all the time. They are even worse at catching food than this dog. It is hi-larious.
posted by sexyrobot at 1:12 PM on March 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


He's a golden retriever not a golden receiver.

Nonsense. How else do you explain Air Bud?
posted by sciatrix at 1:18 PM on March 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm not encouraging them by linking it, but BuzzFeed is out doing what it does... best? with its new article, 9 Foods That Are Impossible To Catch If You Are This Dog.
posted by deludingmyself at 1:20 PM on March 25, 2015


Some bears seem to have this problem as well.
posted by brundlefly at 1:31 PM on March 25, 2015


Fritz was born in 2012. Still young and probably just now starting to chill out some. I had a golden who sucked at catching treats for about the first five years of his life. He did not care. In true golden fashion he was generally just pretty darn happy to be doing things...any of the things so long as it involved attention. He ended up kind of teaching himself to catch treats by figuring out how to work the ice dispenser on the fridge with his paws. (Ice is not great for dog teeth.)
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 2:16 PM on March 25, 2015


and a loyal dog is as deserving of dignity

I'll try to remember that as they make a beeline to eat other dog's shit at the park.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 3:35 PM on March 25, 2015


Dammit, I was sure he was going to catch that meatball on the rebound!

My childhood dog, King the Chocolate Lab, could catch a pancake thrown like a Frisbee from the other side of the lawn. Mom always made extra pancakes just for throwing to King.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:09 PM on March 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


If laughing at my pampered dogs when they do something derpy is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
posted by Squeak Attack at 4:33 PM on March 25, 2015


I read that as saliva.

I read that as salvia. Which, yes, would explain the lack of coordination.
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:43 PM on March 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


Man, in an awesome thread about a happy and well-fed dog I really didn't need to read about horrible things people do to other animals.
posted by erratic meatsack at 4:47 PM on March 25, 2015


I was thinking about it the other day and came to the unavoidable conclusion that most dogs must have subsisted on a diet primarily consisting of human shit for most of our common history.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 5:17 PM on March 25, 2015


If you throw a toy for my cocker spaniel to catch, she will sit there quietly as it bounces off her head. If you throw her a piece of leftover roast chicken, that dog is on point. Different strokes for different (dog)folks.
posted by Ruki at 5:18 PM on March 25, 2015


Sometimes I call babies "Loser" because they can't lift up their own head.

I'm only kidding of course and the babies sure don't seem to mind, but their parents for some reason do.

"S/He's not a loser, s/he's a baby!"

No shit.
posted by manderin at 6:26 PM on March 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


I think the only dignities a dog needs are the important ones. The dignity to die without pain or with as minimal pain as possible; to not be trapped in a crate with their own feces and urine; to not be abused, to not be bored and lonely. Those are the important things. To be laughed at or not never comes close.
And I'm damn sure that laughing at a dog and laughing at someone mentally or physically disabled are very different things.

I'm going to have to try to see if my puppies can catch treats. I've never tried.
posted by stoneegg21 at 6:34 PM on March 25, 2015 [3 favorites]


In the interest of equal representation, let's mock humans.
posted by DrAstroZoom at 8:55 AM on March 26, 2015


I would not be able to catch a taco in my mouth if you threw one at me, either.

Just, you know, as a point of reference.
posted by onlyconnect at 7:24 PM on March 26, 2015


But how are you at meatballs?

I'm also terrible at catching things in my mouth. So it's to my dog's credit that he's never flung a slice of bologna at me and then laughed terrible helpless hyena laughs for 10 minutes when the lunchmeat adhered itself to my back while I spun in circles trying to reach it with my teeth. Which is to say, my dog is a better person than I am.
posted by jamaro at 11:38 PM on March 26, 2015 [1 favorite]


>So it's to my dog's credit that he's never flung a slice of bologna at me and then laughed terrible helpless hyena laughs for 10 minutes when the lunchmeat adhered itself to my back while I spun in circles trying to reach it with my teeth. Which is to say, my dog is a better person than I am.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that has more to do with ability than desire, though.
posted by Tevin at 12:11 PM on March 27, 2015


Sometimes I call babies "Loser" because they can't lift up their own head.

I like to tell babies, "silly baby, you can't even do math!"

(please note: I do not know if babies can secretly do math)

Also, this dog has figured out the perfect food-getting racket, and has become an internet star whose video is probably making millions. Those both make him more professionally successful than me, so I'm going to call him a winner.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 12:46 PM on March 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


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