Why not a whole fryer?
March 27, 2015 1:20 PM   Subscribe

We initially started with 12 or 13 ingredients in the Bloody Mary. But one day, about two and a half years ago, I stuck a cheeseburger on a toothpick on a Bloody Mary and wrote on a Facebook post: “Am I going too far?” The next thing I knew, I had 100 comments. Everyone loved it. It seemed to me to be so ridiculous, but I got home and I sat down at the table and said to my wife, “Wow, I think we’re on to something.”
--I Started Milwaukee’s Epic Bloody Mary Garnish Wars
posted by almostmanda (52 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
 
Oh man. This post has me pining for a bloody mary in the worst way.

After spending some time in Milwaukee, I'm convinced that no other state knows how to make one properly.
posted by BrandonW at 1:23 PM on March 27, 2015


Is this real life?
posted by duffell at 1:39 PM on March 27, 2015 [3 favorites]


Milwaukee born and raised here, and I still come back and visit. I last ordered one there before the Bloody Mary War started (oh, we were young and innocent then, before the War), but even in those early days, a Landjaeger was a most common stirrer in your Bloody Mary. After all, there is a sausage factory in the middle of the historic district that often has a line out the door.

Milwaukee is a magically place.
posted by blahblahblah at 1:43 PM on March 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


Is this real life?

'fraid not, dufell. It's Milwaukee.
posted by Floydd at 1:45 PM on March 27, 2015 [4 favorites]


My only issue with this trend is the lack of clam juice in the drink
posted by sid at 1:47 PM on March 27, 2015 [11 favorites]


I had one in Alaska garnished with an olive, celery, a shrimp, kelp, and a crab claw. Accompanied by a half dozen raw oysters. Yum.
posted by jonmc at 1:47 PM on March 27, 2015 [6 favorites]


I guess there's a reason they call it the good land.
posted by duffell at 1:48 PM on March 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'll have a Bloody Mary, hold the drink.
posted by eriko at 1:49 PM on March 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


Bloody Marys are the perfect combination of food and alcohol, I worship at the alter of Bloody Mary. This site helps me live vicariously and gives me ideas!

posted by reedcourtneyj at 1:49 PM on March 27, 2015


I'm a vegetarian but I want this. I'm sure they would figure something out for me, although tempeh on a stick does not sound the great in a Bloody Mary.
posted by latkes at 1:50 PM on March 27, 2015


http://outforbloodies.com/
posted by reedcourtneyj at 1:50 PM on March 27, 2015


I have no taco things. I have no bloody mary things. METAFILTER, WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME SO?
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 1:51 PM on March 27, 2015 [12 favorites]


Here I thought Kent Hrbek's Bloody Mary with a slice of pizza was wild. I was wrong.
posted by Elly Vortex at 1:52 PM on March 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


this happens every decade or so in Wisconsin (my homeland). there are a couple places that have a tray that attaches to your pint glass bloody mary and it's piled high with delicious deep fried cheese curds.
posted by bobdow at 2:02 PM on March 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


It needs Clamato!
posted by Hazelsmrf at 2:24 PM on March 27, 2015 [6 favorites]


the Sobelmans donated 10 percent of the the proceeds from each $50 Chicken Fried Bloody Beast to Milwaukee’s Hunger Task Force

That's nice of... Huh. Wait. At best, that's five dollars. If one's definition of "proceeds" is net profit, however, that's not really a whole heck of a lot of food you're buying for the poor. By my calculations, the bar, after costs, after the charity gets its cut, is pocketing at least $30 in pure profit from every chicken sold. They're just using charity to distract from the 500% markup.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:24 PM on March 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


Just when you think there is nothing new and worthwhile happening the world surprises you.
posted by yhbc at 2:25 PM on March 27, 2015


When I first moved to MN, I was so unnerved by the confusion of the barstaff when I didn't want a chaser with my bloody mary. I was even more confused by what I was handed to me.
posted by Ferreous at 2:31 PM on March 27, 2015


I went to Sobelman's in November with a party of four and we got the, uh, "beast". Turns out that none of us really like bloody marys all that much, so we only drank about half of the pitcher, and I had maybe a glass and a half (it was just too much acid for me). The cheeseburger, chicken, meat stick and cheese skewer, and other stuff were good though.
posted by LionIndex at 2:38 PM on March 27, 2015


I'd like a miniature Bloody Mary as garnish for my Bloody Mary.
posted by JoeZydeco at 2:51 PM on March 27, 2015 [10 favorites]


JoeZydeco, would you accept a normal bloody mary as a garnish for a cartoonishly oversized bloody mary?
posted by The Gaffer at 2:51 PM on March 27, 2015 [6 favorites]


I know someone from Wisconsin and as a result I'm shocked this comes with a beer chaser rather than a milkshake.
posted by tommasz at 2:52 PM on March 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oooooh, we can scale in both directions. Brilliant!
posted by JoeZydeco at 2:53 PM on March 27, 2015


Non-scientific anecdote here, but I am from Milwaukee, and most people I know have a simple response to the epic Bloody Mary garnishes: "Just fucking stop it already."
posted by hafehd at 3:03 PM on March 27, 2015 [7 favorites]


I heard this entire article in the voice of the elderly bartender who tips off the cops in Fargo.
posted by ostro at 3:05 PM on March 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


they can pile all the junk onto it they want, it's STILL got tomato juice in it and i HATE tomato juice
posted by pyramid termite at 3:26 PM on March 27, 2015 [9 favorites]


Given the existence of the Bloody Caesar I don't understand why the Bloody Mary still exists.

Maybe in some sort of renfair, historical-recreation context, I guess, but why would a modern 21st century person get a Bloody Mary?
posted by GuyZero at 4:02 PM on March 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


One or two places here do these kinds of bloody marys with large and odd garnishes, and while I guess whatever makes people happy is great, personally I am ready to see the end of all kinds of "extreme" or over the top food. Not everything needs to be bigger or hotter or weirder.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:09 PM on March 27, 2015


By my calculations, the bar, after costs, after the charity gets its cut, is pocketing at least $30 in pure profit from every chicken sold.

Gross and net profits are wildly different things in the restaurant business. And if you have a problem with people making profits (which is a reasonable problem to have), maybe it's best to take it up with our political and corporate masters, rather than some guy who sells novelty cocktails.
posted by howfar at 4:40 PM on March 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


The Canadian Caesar is what you're looking for if you must have Clamato.
posted by mbatch at 4:48 PM on March 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


why would a modern 21st century person get a Bloody Mary?

Because hangover. The Bloody Mary is the hair of the dog & a little celery breakfast. That chicken thing is terrifying and it just goes to show that we can never really understand other people.
posted by betweenthebars at 4:49 PM on March 27, 2015 [3 favorites]


I'd like a miniature Bloody Mary as garnish for my Bloody Mary.

Looks like you're not alone.
posted by billyfleetwood at 5:14 PM on March 27, 2015


By my calculations, the bar, after costs, after the charity gets its cut, is pocketing at least $30 in pure profit from every chicken sold. They're just using charity to distract from the 500% markup.

Dude, it's a whole fried chicken and what looks to be about a 64 oz Bloody Mary. Where are you buying that for $10?
posted by kagredon at 5:54 PM on March 27, 2015


I'd be tempted to say, this is stunt drinking, not real drinking, but it is in Wisconsin.
posted by thelonius at 6:10 PM on March 27, 2015 [5 favorites]


Sobelman's now has a Bloody Mary with a steak on it.

Their Facebook page has a video of the creation of this intricate drink. I've been in Milwaukee for the past month dealing with my father's death and assorted issues, and the food has just been magical. In fact, me and a friend are going to Sobelman's tomorrow, so I can experience one of their gravity defying architecture project Bloody Marys before I leave for Seattle on Monday. I. can't. wait.
posted by spinifex23 at 6:42 PM on March 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


I haven't been to Sobelman's and I don't like tomato juice, but boy howdy is this a thing here. I used to go to brunch with a group and at least one or two people would order bloody marys that came with more food than I would eat in a weekend.
posted by desjardins at 7:24 PM on March 27, 2015


I enjoyed reading this. I'm originally from Milwaukee and I love it for its kitsch and I love bloody marys too. This is everything rolled into one. Here in Sydney where I now live, the local bar serves its bloody mary with a long leathery strip of peppery aussie beef jerky and a couple of olives. The bloody mary softens the jerky gradually, so you can just about chew it by the time you finish your cocktail.
posted by amusebuche at 7:57 PM on March 27, 2015


This is no stunt. This is how we drink in The North. Early morning, late morning, noon, and night.
Long live The Bloody! The reason to get out of bed; the calmer of the stomach churn. The entre to the later drinks of the day, moving on to beer, and much later, schnapps and whisky.
Long Live the Queen of the North, the Bloody Mary!
posted by littlewater at 8:00 PM on March 27, 2015 [3 favorites]


moving on to beer, and much later, schnapps and whisky.

Where's the brandy, heathen?
posted by LionIndex at 8:14 PM on March 27, 2015 [3 favorites]


I've lived in Minnesota now for...what, five years? And I spend a lot of time at my inlaws' lake house over in Wisconsin.

I can no longer fathom a Bloody Mary without some sort of meat and/or dairy product, and I don't understand why half-sized cans of beer aren't a standard offering in bars coast to coast.

I can, however, state authoritatively that it is really hard to explain to your young child why they cannot share in the bounty of cheese curds and pickles and whatnot that come in Mama's booze drink.
posted by padraigin at 8:37 PM on March 27, 2015 [4 favorites]




There's a bar in SW Portland called Buffalo Gap that has an amazing Bloody Mary with a ton of stuff on it. Oysters, a slider, bacon, etc.
posted by gucci mane at 9:28 PM on March 27, 2015


The deal is that brandy is delicious.
posted by spinifex23 at 10:03 PM on March 27, 2015


Don't forget the Bloody Bull! I still haven't forgiven Motts for discontinuing Beefamato.
posted by TedW at 3:44 AM on March 28, 2015


I'm a vegetarian but I want this.

I'm not vegetarian, but I'm so grossed out by the pictures that I'm seriously thinking about converting.
posted by sour cream at 6:10 AM on March 28, 2015 [3 favorites]


I have never seen a drink that was so stereotypically American before. All it's missing is corn syrup.

I'm fascinated by the sheer size of those drinks. They're for sharing, right?
posted by Braeburn at 8:34 AM on March 28, 2015


Sharing? What? No. This is Milwaukee. I've never heard of sharing a drink.
posted by desjardins at 8:39 AM on March 28, 2015 [6 favorites]


Because hangover. The Bloody Mary is the hair of the dog & a little celery breakfast.

Yes, but for that you'd get a Bloody Caesar. Why would you bother getting something without Clamato?
posted by GuyZero at 8:56 AM on March 28, 2015


This is Milwaukee. I've never heard of sharing a drink.

Who would do such a thing?
posted by MikeMc at 2:51 PM on March 28, 2015


I think it's time that Wonder Woman joined the Milwaukee Bloody Mary fray.
posted by JimInLoganSquare at 12:24 PM on March 29, 2015 [1 favorite]


Why would you bother getting something without Clamato?

Because I like it better. But seriously, the best Bloody Mary I've ever had far outclassed the best Bloody Caesar. For middling drinks, Bloody Caesars might be better.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 7:53 AM on March 31, 2015


I still haven't forgiven Motts for discontinuing Beefamato.

Well, I mean, yeah, but, like, see, the thing is, no product is going to sell particularly well if it's got a name that every potential buyer's mind instantly morphs into "Barf-o-matic."
posted by Sys Rq at 8:05 AM on March 31, 2015


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