Because what Texas really needs is a thousand rhinos
May 7, 2015 7:18 PM Subscribe
There are many efforts currently ongoing to conserve wild rhino populations and combat the strain on the species due to poaching. The conservation-through-commerce-minded Exotic Wildlife Association and an organization of corporations and nonprofits known as GroupElephant.com have proposed a novel solution: bring a thousand orphaned rhinos to Texas. The organizations reportedly plan adopt the rhinos out to private ranches, and breed them in Texas. The EWA's spokesman reports that it plans to eventually repatriate the rhinos or their offspring to South Africa once South African officials "have a handle over there with the poaching problem."
The UN Troops will come riding on them and trample all the patriots.
posted by Naberius at 7:20 PM on May 7, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by Naberius at 7:20 PM on May 7, 2015 [12 favorites]
Are there even a thousand rhinos left?
posted by jokeefe at 7:21 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by jokeefe at 7:21 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
jeather i hope all of canada gets overrun by enormous angry yaks
posted by sciatrix at 7:23 PM on May 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by sciatrix at 7:23 PM on May 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
enormous angry yaks
They're called moose here.
posted by jeather at 7:26 PM on May 7, 2015 [21 favorites]
They're called moose here.
posted by jeather at 7:26 PM on May 7, 2015 [21 favorites]
Rinos (Republicans In Name Only) were exterminated a long time ago in Texas. I doubt these would fare any better...
posted by jim in austin at 7:27 PM on May 7, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by jim in austin at 7:27 PM on May 7, 2015 [6 favorites]
Certain varieties of Rhino have a prehensile lip and can own up to three long guns.
-David Letterman
posted by clavdivs at 7:28 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
-David Letterman
posted by clavdivs at 7:28 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
"Only steers, queers, and rhinoceros come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don't look much like a steer to me, but that doesn't narrow it down as much as it used to."
posted by Rangi at 7:28 PM on May 7, 2015 [23 favorites]
posted by Rangi at 7:28 PM on May 7, 2015 [23 favorites]
Yes, because people in Texas clearly have their firearms under control. Texas Oil Boom Causing Increase in Poaching
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 7:34 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 7:34 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
'Is that you Aleksei Sytsevich, is this me'
posted by clavdivs at 7:37 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 7:37 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Sorry, Canada's a bit full on the large wild angry ungulate front (and that's not even close to an exhaustive list)
posted by bonehead at 7:37 PM on May 7, 2015
posted by bonehead at 7:37 PM on May 7, 2015
What the heck. There are hippos in Columbia. Why not rhinos in Texas?
posted by eye of newt at 7:39 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by eye of newt at 7:39 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
I don't understand the sarcasm. This is ABSOLUTELY what Texas needs.
posted by unknownmosquito at 7:49 PM on May 7, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by unknownmosquito at 7:49 PM on May 7, 2015 [6 favorites]
Rhinos couldn't be any worse for Texas than Texans.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:50 PM on May 7, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:50 PM on May 7, 2015 [8 favorites]
Poaching's for plebes...why poach when you can legitimately hunt from the safety of your helicopter.
posted by beaning at 7:52 PM on May 7, 2015
posted by beaning at 7:52 PM on May 7, 2015
previously in transporting rhinos to texas haven-ing:
“It’s a lot like raising cattle, except they’re about four to five to times larger,” he said.
lol. it's like an armadillo except when you run into it, well actually when it runs into you YOU'RE FUCKED. oh well here's a babby rhino prancing.
posted by twist my arm at 8:05 PM on May 7, 2015 [9 favorites]
When the rhinos were being loaded in Johannesburg, the older bull almost escaped by crashing through part of his crate. The two species of African rhinos - black and white - have been known to ram their horns into trains, trucks and cars.so you just. multiply that x1000. all this and more do we have to look forward to in housing these magnificent creatures with private citizens who have no experience but some land and big hearts. surely the "extensive background checks" part will make sure everything stays on the up and up and not end with rhinos goring everything stories on the evening news.
...
On the flight from Johannesburg, Mr. Henwood rode in the passenger compartment of the 747 a few feet away from hold where the rhinos were. Mr. Henwood sat with a dart gun loaded with a lethal dose of poison in case one of the rhinos broke out of the crate and threatened the passengers.
''We couldn't afford to let a live rhino get loose in the plane,'' he said in an interview. ''I would have had to kill it and the dart would have killed it within a few seconds.''
“It’s a lot like raising cattle, except they’re about four to five to times larger,” he said.
lol. it's like an armadillo except when you run into it, well actually when it runs into you YOU'RE FUCKED. oh well here's a babby rhino prancing.
posted by twist my arm at 8:05 PM on May 7, 2015 [9 favorites]
The optimist in me loves this and wants it to succeed.
The pessimist in me thinks, when the effort goes belly-up, and this being Texas, the rhinos will be the stars of a short-lived captive hunting ranch.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:06 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
The pessimist in me thinks, when the effort goes belly-up, and this being Texas, the rhinos will be the stars of a short-lived captive hunting ranch.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:06 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yes, because people in Texas clearly have their firearms under control.
Seriously, I would require some evidence to support the assumption that the average Texan is less willing to kill something for contraband and cold under-the-table cash than his African counterpart.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:06 PM on May 7, 2015 [8 favorites]
Seriously, I would require some evidence to support the assumption that the average Texan is less willing to kill something for contraband and cold under-the-table cash than his African counterpart.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:06 PM on May 7, 2015 [8 favorites]
I have a better idea: set up collection stations at manicurists all over the world and flood the powdered Rhino horn market with fingernail filings. It's basically the same stuff.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:10 PM on May 7, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:10 PM on May 7, 2015 [12 favorites]
The Ionesco Appreciation Society applauds the capitulation of Texas.
posted by grumpybear69 at 8:21 PM on May 7, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 8:21 PM on May 7, 2015 [6 favorites]
I've always been partial to the idea that we should set elephants loose to wander the great plains, to replicate mammoths in the ecosystem and save elephant populations. Except I hear elephants are kinda assholes once they figure out they can block roadways to hold up produce trucks at leisure.
My experience of hunters in the US is that they're mostly pretty conservation-minded and they obey the rules and disdain "rare game" trophy hunters. I don't really think Texan rhino poaching would be a big problem. There's always some guys with a chip on their shoulder about how low limits have been set, but the really looney ones seem mostly to be in fishing.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:27 PM on May 7, 2015 [9 favorites]
My experience of hunters in the US is that they're mostly pretty conservation-minded and they obey the rules and disdain "rare game" trophy hunters. I don't really think Texan rhino poaching would be a big problem. There's always some guys with a chip on their shoulder about how low limits have been set, but the really looney ones seem mostly to be in fishing.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:27 PM on May 7, 2015 [9 favorites]
I have a better idea: set up collection stations at manicurists all over the world and flood the powdered Rhino horn market with fingernail filings. It's basically the same stuff.
This is the kind of crazy idea that we'll look back on in 100 years and say, "George Spiggott was a visionary genius." Then we'll go back to working for our rhino-mounted manicurist neo-capitalist overlords.
posted by Rangi at 8:27 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is the kind of crazy idea that we'll look back on in 100 years and say, "George Spiggott was a visionary genius." Then we'll go back to working for our rhino-mounted manicurist neo-capitalist overlords.
posted by Rangi at 8:27 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
If we're doing this let's do it all the way - release Cape buffalo into the U.S., they're known to ambush and kill hunters who wound them.
Rhinos are more dangerous as I understand it, but it's not a significant difference.
posted by winna at 8:44 PM on May 7, 2015
Rhinos are more dangerous as I understand it, but it's not a significant difference.
posted by winna at 8:44 PM on May 7, 2015
They'll have lots of emus to keep them company.
posted by gimonca at 9:22 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by gimonca at 9:22 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
HELL YEAH AN PUT EM ALL LONG THE BORDER HOO WEEE /Budweiser high-five/ HELL YEAH
posted by resurrexit at 9:31 PM on May 7, 2015
posted by resurrexit at 9:31 PM on May 7, 2015
I've always been kind of bummed the camels didn't work out.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:31 PM on May 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Chrysostom at 9:31 PM on May 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Who would win in a fight between a rhino and a swarm of angry feral pigs (which we already have in Texas)?
Guess we'll get to find out.
posted by emjaybee at 9:41 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Guess we'll get to find out.
posted by emjaybee at 9:41 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
One thing I haven't been able to figure out: Rhino is poached for their horn, right, which is claimed to have medicinal properties. But why on Earth do the distributors feel the need to use real rhino horn in their product? Surely it must be a lot less risky and capital-intensive to just use any old inert powder and claim it is rhino horn? It's not like the end customer has any way to know.
posted by Harald74 at 9:58 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Harald74 at 9:58 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
This has been a bit of a hot bottom topic among a certain circle of friends. Not rhinos, mind you, but captive breeding and reintroduction programs in general. The debate centers around a few things, one being the high failure rate of captive breeding reintroduction programs. We hear about the successes, but rarely the number of failures, which is high.
The other issue is more broadly genetics; first, the very basic issue of genetic drift and loss of genetic diversity. We tend to think of reintroduction programs as being successful if they've worked for short periods of time (decades) instead of longer time scales (millennia). We just don't know the extent of problems that we'll see in populations with low diversity over the species existence. We know it's not good and there is less plasticity in the population when there are changes, be it environmental or disease challenges.
Then you run into the issue of captivity changing an organism. Unintentional selection for suitability to captive life is bound to happen... Just by being in captivity. Many traits beneficial to captive life will be detrimental to life in the wild. In effect, we may end up with some level of domestication, which reduces aggression and fear response.
Now, we were talking fish and amphibians; a large animal with low fecundity is going to change much slower. But having no idea when they might return to the wild, we have no idea how much to worry about it.
And in the hands of private individuals? Call me skeptical. Don't get me wrong, with unlimited resources, I'd love My Own Pet Rhino™, I just don't think anyone has really thought it through. Put the money that would go into this into real protection for the rhinos, and quit with the publicity stunts.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:00 PM on May 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
The other issue is more broadly genetics; first, the very basic issue of genetic drift and loss of genetic diversity. We tend to think of reintroduction programs as being successful if they've worked for short periods of time (decades) instead of longer time scales (millennia). We just don't know the extent of problems that we'll see in populations with low diversity over the species existence. We know it's not good and there is less plasticity in the population when there are changes, be it environmental or disease challenges.
Then you run into the issue of captivity changing an organism. Unintentional selection for suitability to captive life is bound to happen... Just by being in captivity. Many traits beneficial to captive life will be detrimental to life in the wild. In effect, we may end up with some level of domestication, which reduces aggression and fear response.
Now, we were talking fish and amphibians; a large animal with low fecundity is going to change much slower. But having no idea when they might return to the wild, we have no idea how much to worry about it.
And in the hands of private individuals? Call me skeptical. Don't get me wrong, with unlimited resources, I'd love My Own Pet Rhino™, I just don't think anyone has really thought it through. Put the money that would go into this into real protection for the rhinos, and quit with the publicity stunts.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:00 PM on May 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
On that note, wild-to-wild reintroduction programs do have a higher success rate. If we were looking to be successful, putting money into these would be the way to go. Of course there are some problematic logistics in loving them. But I can't imagine it being less than moving to a new continent.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:04 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:04 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
I remember reading somewhere that with all these private hunting ranches Texas actually has more of certain kinds of exotic ungulates than the countries they actually come from.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:45 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by gottabefunky at 10:45 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Of course there are some problematic logistics in loving them.
While this is, I am sure, technically correct, I hope that autocorrect was playing at japery again.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:16 AM on May 8, 2015 [4 favorites]
While this is, I am sure, technically correct, I hope that autocorrect was playing at japery again.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:16 AM on May 8, 2015 [4 favorites]
The exotic animal situation in the states of outrageous, and there's not a single developed country in the world with such lax legislation and non existent oversight. The current environment hurts far far more animals than it helps,and reflects a horrible arrogance and lack of awareness.
posted by smoke at 3:37 AM on May 8, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by smoke at 3:37 AM on May 8, 2015 [5 favorites]
I think that, rather than a one-way sort of thing, we should arrange s swap. So Texas will get 1000 rhinos, and Texas will ship its legislature and senior political functionaries (marching the rhinos by weight) to the South Afrucan wilderness. After mutual ecological and political finance problems are resolved, we can return the brutes to their native habitats. Well, and the rhinos can go back as well.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:58 AM on May 8, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:58 AM on May 8, 2015 [6 favorites]
The US has built secret tunnels under various now closed Texas Walmart's. These abandoned Walmarts will be transformed into Rhino ranches. The tunnels will allow UN wildlife managers to easily move move the animals between ranches in order to manage genetic diversity. Because Rhinos are very dangerous ans difficult animals the US military will deploy a large number of soldiers to Texas for purposes of ensuring puhlic safety. The sensitive diplomacy required on this issue has required thar Jade Helm be presented to the public as just a training exercise.
posted by humanfont at 5:00 AM on May 8, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by humanfont at 5:00 AM on May 8, 2015 [5 favorites]
Is this whole idea not what zoos are for?
posted by showbiz_liz at 6:33 AM on May 8, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 6:33 AM on May 8, 2015 [2 favorites]
I've long said it's good I lack insane amounts of money or I would have a hippo refuge in my back yard. I am sure the neighbors would get tired of those though, since I live in Iowa and after every winter I'd have to get new hippos.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:46 AM on May 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by cjorgensen at 6:46 AM on May 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
twist my arm: ...do we have to look forward to in housing these magnificent creatures with private citizens who have no experience but some land and big hearts. surely the "extensive background checks" part will make sure everything stays on the up and up and not end with rhinos goring everything stories on the evening news.
Shutupshutupshutup you guys: once they build the paddocks and visitor's center, we're going to finally get the "Jurassic LARP" we've been waiting for! "No expense will be spared," and all that -- it's Texas, after all!
posted by wenestvedt at 6:49 AM on May 8, 2015 [2 favorites]
Shutupshutupshutup you guys: once they build the paddocks and visitor's center, we're going to finally get the "Jurassic LARP" we've been waiting for! "No expense will be spared," and all that -- it's Texas, after all!
posted by wenestvedt at 6:49 AM on May 8, 2015 [2 favorites]
One thing I haven't been able to figure out: Rhino is poached for their horn, right, which is claimed to have medicinal properties. But why on Earth do the distributors feel the need to use real rhino horn in their product? Surely it must be a lot less risky and capital-intensive to just use any old inert powder and claim it is rhino horn? It's not like the end customer has any way to know.
Given how risky and costly it is to obtain, I've no doubt that most rhino horn on the market is fake. But the trouble is, practitioners of this sort of "traditional medicine" (i.e. some crap somebody made up not necessarily even very long ago) are surprisingly, not always consciously aware that it's quackery. Part of that is due to their government having essentially invented the entire field of "traditional medicine" within the last century, for political and propaganda reasons. When a giant, powerful nation has endorsed substitute medical practices that don't actually work, that undermines the whole concept of evidence-based medicine.
So a lot of them with the best will in the world are going to insist on the real thing, be willing to pay for it and the supply chain is going to try to reassure them of that.
The reason I suggested flooding the market with fingernail filings is that would pass a basic chemical analysis; though other tests could be devised that would distinguish it.
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:53 AM on May 8, 2015 [3 favorites]
Given how risky and costly it is to obtain, I've no doubt that most rhino horn on the market is fake. But the trouble is, practitioners of this sort of "traditional medicine" (i.e. some crap somebody made up not necessarily even very long ago) are surprisingly, not always consciously aware that it's quackery. Part of that is due to their government having essentially invented the entire field of "traditional medicine" within the last century, for political and propaganda reasons. When a giant, powerful nation has endorsed substitute medical practices that don't actually work, that undermines the whole concept of evidence-based medicine.
So a lot of them with the best will in the world are going to insist on the real thing, be willing to pay for it and the supply chain is going to try to reassure them of that.
The reason I suggested flooding the market with fingernail filings is that would pass a basic chemical analysis; though other tests could be devised that would distinguish it.
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:53 AM on May 8, 2015 [3 favorites]
Is it really so hard to believe that people believe in it? Look at all the nonsense that passes for medicine in our own country! It's just lucky that homeopathy doesn't involve endangered animal parts...
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:06 AM on May 8, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:06 AM on May 8, 2015 [2 favorites]
Is this whole idea not what zoos are for?
What do you think Texas is?
posted by Naberius at 7:08 AM on May 8, 2015
What do you think Texas is?
posted by Naberius at 7:08 AM on May 8, 2015
So a lot of them with the best will in the world are going to insist on the real thing, be willing to pay for it and the supply chain is going to try to reassure them of that.
The real solution lies in propagating the rumor that rhino horn causes impotence. I mean, rhinos aren't exactly flourishing; imbibing their essence will, um, take you down with them.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:11 AM on May 8, 2015 [4 favorites]
The real solution lies in propagating the rumor that rhino horn causes impotence. I mean, rhinos aren't exactly flourishing; imbibing their essence will, um, take you down with them.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:11 AM on May 8, 2015 [4 favorites]
We are actually planning to take a family trip to Fossil Rim wildlife park in central Texas in a few weeks. They are a straight-up conservation outfit. It's a gorgeous setting.
But I have read that there are some African animals that are now more populous in Texas than they are in their original native range. It's the Tragedy of the Commons. When the animals on the savannah "belong" to no one, there's little reason not to poach or over-hunt. Now that a monetary value and ownership are attached to the Texas animals, so that you can hunt them, or pay for the privilege of hunting, they are farmed.
Within 50 miles of Austin, you frequently see ranches with very high fences to keep antelope from escaping, and to keep poachers out, I would imagine.
posted by etherist at 9:45 AM on May 8, 2015
But I have read that there are some African animals that are now more populous in Texas than they are in their original native range. It's the Tragedy of the Commons. When the animals on the savannah "belong" to no one, there's little reason not to poach or over-hunt. Now that a monetary value and ownership are attached to the Texas animals, so that you can hunt them, or pay for the privilege of hunting, they are farmed.
Within 50 miles of Austin, you frequently see ranches with very high fences to keep antelope from escaping, and to keep poachers out, I would imagine.
posted by etherist at 9:45 AM on May 8, 2015
@cjorgensen
There are hippos in South America that escaped from drug lords' abandoned estates:
Pablo Escobar’s hippos: A growing problem
Check your local city statutes first, and please don't let your vanity hippo ranching turn into a neighborhood nuisance.
posted by etherist at 9:50 AM on May 8, 2015 [3 favorites]
There are hippos in South America that escaped from drug lords' abandoned estates:
Pablo Escobar’s hippos: A growing problem
Check your local city statutes first, and please don't let your vanity hippo ranching turn into a neighborhood nuisance.
posted by etherist at 9:50 AM on May 8, 2015 [3 favorites]
Even if one hates the fact that Texas is conservative, even if one thinks evidence is needed that the average Texan is not as corrupt as an African poacher, even if one thinks Texas has a gun problem, even if one thinks Texas has some true tin-foil hat nutters, even if one thinks Texans have a funny accent, even if one thinks Texas is a zoo of people to be gawked at, even if even if even if.....
I support the stop-gap introduction of rhinos to Texas no matter one's intense, visceral dislike of the Americans who live in Texas because these rhinos are going extinct in Africa.
posted by lstanley at 10:23 AM on May 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
I support the stop-gap introduction of rhinos to Texas no matter one's intense, visceral dislike of the Americans who live in Texas because these rhinos are going extinct in Africa.
posted by lstanley at 10:23 AM on May 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
But like... can they actually survive and thrive here, will they cause massive damage or danger, and will they disrupt the local flora and fauna? And more importantly, why entrust this task to a bunch of random ranchers who don't know anything about rhinos?
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:52 AM on May 8, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:52 AM on May 8, 2015 [2 favorites]
"until they are adopted into private homes"
"go through extensive background checks, and they must build a special facility to house and protect the rhino"
"help our members develop and strengthen the markets for their animals."
(From Exotic Wildlife Association's own website)
Yeah... pardon my cynicism, but it kind of sounds like they're just going to offer the rhinos up to the highest bidder (ie: the EWA members with the most money), who will then turn around and breed/display them for profit. Especially since Exotic Wildlife Association is an organization that represents breeders of 'exotics' and non-native wildlife used for game/trophy hunting, pushes back against animal rights activists, lobbies against legislation that restricts the owning/breeding/selling of non-native wildlife and/or exotic species, and seeks to create an "alternative livestock industry" so their members have a market outlet for the non-native wildlife and exotics they're breeding.*
So yeah, not a whole lot of faith that, an organization whose idea of conservation is breeding animals to be killed by trophy hunters, is in this for anything other than the potential $$$ (and fame) their members (and therefore EWA itself) will stand to make from the importation and breeding of omgsuperrare animals like rhinos.
These incredibly endangered animals should be going to legitimate zoos or wildlife sanctuaries who truly breed to conserve -- not to individuals looking to breed trophies for hunters.
* Their mission statement and a list of conservation 'affiliates' (ALL hunting-related) can be found here: http://myewa.org/
posted by stubbehtail at 12:11 PM on May 8, 2015 [4 favorites]
"go through extensive background checks, and they must build a special facility to house and protect the rhino"
"help our members develop and strengthen the markets for their animals."
(From Exotic Wildlife Association's own website)
Yeah... pardon my cynicism, but it kind of sounds like they're just going to offer the rhinos up to the highest bidder (ie: the EWA members with the most money), who will then turn around and breed/display them for profit. Especially since Exotic Wildlife Association is an organization that represents breeders of 'exotics' and non-native wildlife used for game/trophy hunting, pushes back against animal rights activists, lobbies against legislation that restricts the owning/breeding/selling of non-native wildlife and/or exotic species, and seeks to create an "alternative livestock industry" so their members have a market outlet for the non-native wildlife and exotics they're breeding.*
So yeah, not a whole lot of faith that, an organization whose idea of conservation is breeding animals to be killed by trophy hunters, is in this for anything other than the potential $$$ (and fame) their members (and therefore EWA itself) will stand to make from the importation and breeding of omgsuperrare animals like rhinos.
These incredibly endangered animals should be going to legitimate zoos or wildlife sanctuaries who truly breed to conserve -- not to individuals looking to breed trophies for hunters.
* Their mission statement and a list of conservation 'affiliates' (ALL hunting-related) can be found here: http://myewa.org/
posted by stubbehtail at 12:11 PM on May 8, 2015 [4 favorites]
For what it is worth, I am incredibly against this (very seriously) as someone who lives in Texas. I am not necessarily against breeding exotic animals for hunting, since this initiative actually has worked well with some oryx and antelope species. I am against this example because there appears to be minimal planning and experience with rhinos specifically on the part of both organizations involved and because rhinos are substantially harder to fence in and keep contained than antelope. They also will be much more dangerous if they do get loose, and I'd really prefer not to have to worry about rhinos getting loose near my city.
(Elephants would be worse, though. Oh please dear god do not release breeding populations of wild/feral elephants into the US. Bull elephants in musth are fucking dangerous and I am just as happy not to have them in my metaphorical backyard, thanks.)
posted by sciatrix at 12:17 PM on May 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
(Elephants would be worse, though. Oh please dear god do not release breeding populations of wild/feral elephants into the US. Bull elephants in musth are fucking dangerous and I am just as happy not to have them in my metaphorical backyard, thanks.)
posted by sciatrix at 12:17 PM on May 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
There are hippos in Columbia.
nonsense, how could they possibly afford the tuition
posted by poffin boffin at 12:29 PM on May 8, 2015 [6 favorites]
nonsense, how could they possibly afford the tuition
posted by poffin boffin at 12:29 PM on May 8, 2015 [6 favorites]
The reason I suggested flooding the market with fingernail filings is that would pass a basic chemical analysis; though other tests could be devised that would distinguish it.
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:53 AM on May 8 [1 favorite +] [!]
While we're at it, maybe exchange a few rhinos for some of our friendly local supplement sellers. Win win.
posted by mcrandello at 3:13 PM on May 8, 2015
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:53 AM on May 8 [1 favorite +] [!]
While we're at it, maybe exchange a few rhinos for some of our friendly local supplement sellers. Win win.
posted by mcrandello at 3:13 PM on May 8, 2015
Lately, I've been watching a TV series called The Rhino Orphanage and it's taught me three things:
1. There's a full scale war being waged against rhinos in Africa. Poachers aren't so much local people now, but are instead large multi-national criminal syndicates that use bribery, high powered rifles, and even helicopter surveillance. Whatever it takes to get more of that horn.
2. There are quite a few incredibly dedicated individuals and a small number of organizations trying to save the rhinos, but despite heroic efforts they're just outnumbered. The scale of the problem is enormous.
3. Raising orphaned rhinos is hard. It's a 24/7 kind of job, and even at the Rhino Orphanage they sometimes lose babies to disease, and are occasionally overwhelmed. And they just have a small number of animals. It's difficult for me to believe that this Texas group could find enough dedicated volunteers willing to devote their lives to a cause like this.
posted by Kevin Street at 6:56 PM on May 8, 2015 [2 favorites]
1. There's a full scale war being waged against rhinos in Africa. Poachers aren't so much local people now, but are instead large multi-national criminal syndicates that use bribery, high powered rifles, and even helicopter surveillance. Whatever it takes to get more of that horn.
2. There are quite a few incredibly dedicated individuals and a small number of organizations trying to save the rhinos, but despite heroic efforts they're just outnumbered. The scale of the problem is enormous.
3. Raising orphaned rhinos is hard. It's a 24/7 kind of job, and even at the Rhino Orphanage they sometimes lose babies to disease, and are occasionally overwhelmed. And they just have a small number of animals. It's difficult for me to believe that this Texas group could find enough dedicated volunteers willing to devote their lives to a cause like this.
posted by Kevin Street at 6:56 PM on May 8, 2015 [2 favorites]
They should send them to New Jersey; there's already one rhino there.
posted by rankfreudlite at 9:35 AM on May 9, 2015
posted by rankfreudlite at 9:35 AM on May 9, 2015
"And in news from the United States, the former breakaway state of Texas has introduced a new plan to generate tourist interest in the politically-volatile petrostate..."
posted by the man of twists and turns at 4:30 PM on May 14, 2015
posted by the man of twists and turns at 4:30 PM on May 14, 2015
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posted by jeather at 7:20 PM on May 7, 2015 [9 favorites]