the charming tale of a young boy with a singular dream

November 2, 2015 9:03 AM

"It was me. I did it. I was the first person to fart in the Sydney Olympic Pool. I can't completely verify that nobody farted in the Olympic pool before me, but I'm fairly certain nobody farted in it until I did. This is my story, the story of a 10-year-old boy with a flatulent dream."
posted by everybody had matching towels (19 comments total)

To be fair, while the dream may be stupid - he achieved self actualization of that dream!
posted by Nanukthedog at 9:07 AM on November 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

Wouldn't that make it a jaccuzzi?
posted by jonmc at 9:21 AM on November 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

Wouldn't that make it a jaccuzzi?

That would depend on his score on the fart scale (caution: scales of this sort tend to be logarithmic).
posted by srboisvert at 9:43 AM on November 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

No.
posted by pxe2000 at 9:51 AM on November 2, 2015

"His dream realized,he even got a few gigs with his short lived fame ,shopping mall ribbon cuttings ect, but his life was all downhill after that high point".
posted by boilermonster at 9:51 AM on November 2, 2015

i salute this brave pioneer
posted by poffin boffin at 9:56 AM on November 2, 2015 [3 favorites]

Content
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:14 AM on November 2, 2015

I can't completely verify that nobody farted in the Olympic pool before me, but I'm fairly certain nobody farted in it until I did.

This is the thing about farting. The lack of solid evidence.
posted by three blind mice at 10:24 AM on November 2, 2015 [10 favorites]

Maybe not the most gifted storyteller, but a resourceful schemer. I liked this line, though: "...her stern voice echoed, but something was off." Reminds me of a teacher we had who always had to turn his back to the classroom after an outburst of rage, because he himself got the giggles.
posted by Namlit at 10:24 AM on November 2, 2015

This is the thing about farting. The lack of solid evidence.

you never know in advance, now, do you
posted by Namlit at 10:25 AM on November 2, 2015 [13 favorites]

I am giggling uncontrollably right now
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:30 AM on November 2, 2015 [3 favorites]

You know that thing that happens when young people do things like win Nobel Prizes or invent something amazing and other people say "wow, I was wasting my life doing [x] at that age." That's pretty much my reaction to this piece too.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:32 AM on November 2, 2015 [7 favorites]

fart scale (caution: scales of this sort tend to be logarithmic)

I see what you did there.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:49 AM on November 2, 2015

If this story had involved a marsupial it would be the most Australia thing ever.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:02 PM on November 2, 2015

How it really was:

Naughty boy dives into Olympic pool. A bobby approaches.

"Hello, young man, what you're doing is illegal! Get out of there at once! And it will cost you two farthings in fines!"

"Happy to oblige, Constable!"
posted by Namlit at 12:02 PM on November 2, 2015

There is a whiff of eponystericality in this post.
posted by Fuzzypumper at 12:45 PM on November 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

the towels notwhiffstanding...
posted by Namlit at 12:57 PM on November 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

wordplay AND fart jokes...what have I done to deserve such greatness
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:00 PM on November 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

Le magnifique et humide Pétomane de la piscine.
posted by Monkey0nCrack at 7:09 PM on November 3, 2015 [1 favorite]