Please look forward when walking
December 2, 2015 2:30 PM   Subscribe

Kambei Shimada: So. Again we are defeated.
[Shichiroji looks puzzled at Kambei]
Kambei Shimada: The carriers have won. Not us.
posted by Ian A.T. at 2:36 PM on December 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

I think it's unfair to blame cell phone users for what is clearly the failure of the local municipality to address a shocking feral ninja problem. It's long been known that a strict regimen of capture, neutering, shots, and release quickly reduces a ninja problem to manageable levels, and, as a bonus, cuts melodramatic dueling on rooftops by up to 80%.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:08 PM on December 2, 2015 [5 favorites]

The obvious solution is just to get everyone in sync.
posted by The Bellman at 3:17 PM on December 2, 2015 [3 favorites]

Capture-and-release just doesn't work with ninja. It doesn't matter if you neuter them, they're still going through my trash at 3am, and getting into fights with the tanuki and the otokodate.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:19 PM on December 2, 2015 [8 favorites]

Besides, everybody knows that ninjas reproduce by running quickly enough to split into multiple ninjas.
posted by Strange Interlude at 5:02 PM on December 2, 2015 [5 favorites]

That just means that neutering consists of cutting off a leg. You have to think outside the box with ninja.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:19 PM on December 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

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