Additional Love Languages

April 28, 2016 10:56 AM

The Five Love Languages is a bestselling book that discusses the five essential ways that people “speak and understand emotional love.” The primary love languages include Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch, but many readers are unaware of the remaining seventeen categories, which include the following....
posted by sciatrix (26 comments total)

#MalloryOrtbergfilter

...which I am completely okay with. I love her stuff.
posted by Mogur at 11:02 AM on April 28, 2016 [4 favorites]

Chesed

I originally read this as "Cheesed" which is, in fact, my Love Language.

(I don't actually know what Chesed is.)
posted by Lyn Never at 11:03 AM on April 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Destroys Your Enemies Without Your Having To Ask

The true sign of love.
posted by NoxAeternum at 11:11 AM on April 28, 2016 [11 favorites]

Going Away

This is, by far, the most prevalent love language, based on my experience.
posted by clockzero at 11:16 AM on April 28, 2016 [17 favorites]

I like the additional love languages much more than the original. That book really irritates me.

Won’t Send You Links That You Both Know Will Just Upset You is high on my list.
Regularly Says “Well, She Shouldn’t Have Said That To You” is a powerful phrase. I don't even have to understand what was said or why it was wrong. I need to use this one more.

Is there a joke that explains why there are more than seventeen categories listed in the remaining seventeen categories? If there is it went right over my head. Or it was just baiting someone like me into saying "um, that's not 17 things"
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 11:21 AM on April 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Seven Long Years I Served For Thee, The Glassy Hill I Clamb For Thee, Thy Bloody Clothes I Wrang For Thee, And Wilt Thou Not Waken And Turn To Me?

Destroys Your Enemies Without Your Having To Ask

Time to play "which one of these is Will and which is Hannibal".

I don't have a problem.
posted by Sequence at 11:22 AM on April 28, 2016 [10 favorites]

if the question is 'is mallory ortberg baiting you' the answer is probably yes.

i laughed out loud when i saw these over at the toast.
posted by nadawi at 11:25 AM on April 28, 2016 [4 favorites]

I think this list was written by my ex -- many of those things I failed to do, thus causing marital strife.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:28 AM on April 28, 2016

The always-fine Mallory has really been knocking them out of the park the past few days. (Read, please, if you have not, "How to Respond When You Suspect Someone Is Flirting With You". TBH, when my real-world writer friends become this incredibly productive, I tend to worry that they're slipping into a manic phase. PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE TAKING THE WEEKEND OFF, MALLORY.
posted by drlith at 11:36 AM on April 28, 2016 [3 favorites]

So tempted to just sort these into each of the main five love languages of which they are dialects.

Pretty sure "Going Away" would fall under Quality Time.
posted by straight at 11:40 AM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]

Cut A Silmaril From The Crown Of Morgoth, Then Fed It To Carcharoth And Slew Him

Now I finally know what to tell my boyfriend when he asks me what I want.
posted by culfinglin at 11:43 AM on April 28, 2016 [8 favorites]

Not Pretending They Don’t Know The Blinking Light On The Dishwasher Means The Dishwasher Is Clean And You Should Empty It

My bff/roommate knows that I know what the light means, and I'll gladly empty it to show affection because her love language is Acts of Service. But she'll tell me it needs to be done regardless because her other love language is Stay Out of the Kitchen Unless You're Asked to Do Something in There Before You Break Something Else.
posted by numaner at 11:50 AM on April 28, 2016 [8 favorites]

Will Leave The Room When You’re Watching A Musical Because You Both Know If They Stay They’re Just Going To Make Fun Of It

Well, kinda - but I think we should just scratch "Musical" and replace it with $entertainment, because in my house it isn't musicals. And it has become "I leave the room while she watches $entertainment because I'll make fun of it" and "I leave the room to watch $entertainment because she'll make fun of it".

Fortunately, there are some values of $entertainment where I can stay in the same room.
posted by nubs at 12:12 PM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]

Being a fan of morbid old ballads and tales, I was glad to see these many ways to prove love including Tamlin. A variation, "They will turn me in your arms to a lion bold, but cloak me in your mantle/and keep me from the cold/ they will turn me in your arms,to a newt or a snake/but hold me tight and fear not/and you will love your child/ they will turn me in your arms into a naked night/but cloak me in your mantle/and keep me out of sight..." Works every time when your rival is the Faerie Queen.
posted by mermayd at 12:18 PM on April 28, 2016 [9 favorites]

And, of course, favoriting their posts.
posted by Obscure Reference at 12:29 PM on April 28, 2016 [4 favorites]

The name Mallory Ortberg translates to Unfortunate Mountain of Table Scraps.
posted by srboisvert at 1:16 PM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]

Is there a joke that explains why there are more than seventeen categories listed ...

I've seen this three times just in the last week. A post that offered 30 great photos and had about 50. Another example that I can't remember right now. And this. I suspect it's some kind of variation on "Underpromise and overdeliver", but I think it's really stupid.
posted by Bruce H. at 1:47 PM on April 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

(I don't actually know what Chesed is.)

Chesed is a Hebrew word without a direct English analogue, but which is usually translated as "loving-kindness". In my experience it's often used in the context of describing work done to make the world a better place (itself a Jewish concept called tikkun olam, repairing the world), usually through charity or (among more left-leaning Jews) activism.
posted by Itaxpica at 2:08 PM on April 28, 2016 [5 favorites]

Oops...That should read "naked Knight", not "night" in my previous post. Also, these have to be better than the original dreary self-help book with only 5 love languages. Here are some more:

Tell her to make me a cambric shirt/ one with no seams of fine needle work/ tell her to buy me an acre of land/ between the salt water and the sea sand/ then she'll be a true love of mine

be sure to hide the Selkie's seal skin or she will return to the sea.
posted by mermayd at 2:12 PM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]

Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme all together is really a bit of overkill.
posted by maryr at 2:41 PM on April 28, 2016

Additional key love-languages, at least in our house:

* Pointing out dogs and Citroën DSes on the street.

* Squealing over dogs and Citroën DSes pointed out by others.

* Sitting companionably through all Guy Maddin movies, even the ones that don't really seem meant to be watched by humans.

* Remembering what colors of gaming dice others prefer.

* Pretending to care what happens on Pretty Little Liars, and listening to extended exegeses regarding same.

* Alerting others when the Chihuahua is doing something cute.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 2:48 PM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]

drlith: "The always-fine Mallory has really been knocking them out of the park the past few days. (Read, please, if you have not, "How to Respond When You Suspect Someone Is Flirting With You". TBH, when my real-world writer friends become this incredibly productive, I tend to worry that they're slipping into a manic phase. PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE TAKING THE WEEKEND OFF, MALLORY."

This hits WAY too close to home. Clearly Mallory wrote that article after simply following me around at a party attended by at least one attractive stranger.

“I have a related anecdote, which I will now relate, unless you wish otherwise.”

Indeed.
posted by WaylandSmith at 3:00 PM on April 28, 2016

This isn't a phase Karina, this is who I am now.

Now bring me more sunflower seeds and let me perch on the balcony.
posted by The Whelk at 3:32 PM on April 28, 2016 [5 favorites]

Are there lots of Citroën DSes to be seen in Seattle? I will squeal over them, too! And Citroën SMes!
posted by Slothrop at 4:39 PM on April 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Our love language was spoken just this morning actually. It's Take over for me because the child is screaming for the iPad and it's the middle of the night.
posted by Slothrop at 4:43 PM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]

We should talk about personality types too, because I have figured out that I don't have much in common with the being who wrote this article. Still, I'd want to be able to recognize them if I came across them in person.
posted by circular at 12:34 PM on April 29, 2016