What It's Like to Meet Annabelle
June 18, 2016 9:35 AM   Subscribe

Luckily for my sanity, Annabelle did not do anything scary while I was in her presence, though I did see a moth flutter by her case at one point, and later, while listening to a recording of the interview, I heard a horrible growl on the tape that was probably my stomach but let's be real, was a demon. I also kept seeing my own movements reflected in the glass and thinking she was coming for me. Being inside the museum also left a musty smell in my hair that I didn't notice until later, when I was back at home watching Curb Your Enthusiasm — maybe not coincidentally, the one about the doll.
posted by veedubya (15 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I read a few of the books written about the Warrens when I was a nervous kid as part of my neverending campaign to destroy my ability to feel safe or sleep, and to this day I'm torn between my belief that they're con artists, my belief that they don't understand that they're con artists, and my general love of a good haunted house story. Watching Paranormal Activity and realizing halfway in that the filmmakers had based their script on the Warrens' ideas about the progression from haunting to possession was pretty fun- I should check out some of those old books and scare myself silly again.

(I would also note that no matter what that guy says, The Amityville Horror is a long-debunked and well-documented hoax.)
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:15 AM on June 18, 2016 [7 favorites]

I wish there was a movie with Ed and Loraine Warren as parasitical grifters who prey upon the vulnerable. Them getting eaten by a demon at the end optional.
posted by Artw at 10:42 AM on June 18, 2016 [12 favorites]

Robert the (haunted) Doll seems to get a little more respect, he even got 101st birthday cards from JEB! and George Bush.
posted by 445supermag at 11:05 AM on June 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

This is when I complain that the movie, "The Conjuring" includes no conjuring or references to such. So I call shenanigans on that as well.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:33 AM on June 18, 2016 [4 favorites]

Also flounders horribly towards the end and resorts to a dumb exorcism.
posted by Artw at 11:35 AM on June 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

posted by Artw at 11:35 AM on June 18, 2016 [5 favorites]

Vera Farmiga deserves so much better.

At last Bates Motel put her to good use.
posted by tobascodagama at 11:43 AM on June 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

Although Raggedy Ann was first marketed in 1915, a Raggedy Ann doll shows up in the flashback storylines of 1795 and 1897 in Dark Shadows. Raggedy Ann is clearly a haunted doll. A haunted, time-traveling doll.

(Also, her nose has been ripped off, leaving a giant bloody triangular wound.)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:47 AM on June 18, 2016 [7 favorites]

I'm half convinced that the whole paranormal/haunting/posession book/movie/etc genre is secretly fueled by a covert propaganda arm of the Catholic church.
posted by treepour at 12:23 PM on June 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

Don't forget vampires, another cornerstone of the Catholic fantasy mythos.
posted by straight at 12:31 PM on June 18, 2016

he even got 101st birthday cards from JEB! and George Bush.

You don't succeed on that little talent without some sort of pact with Dark Forces. Gotta keep the Emissary sweet, you know....
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:57 PM on June 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

Bullshit it may be, but it's bullshit people LOVE.

They're convinced, absolutely, that the place I work is haunted; they ask me if I am frightened of the ghosts, as if there was no question regarding their existence.

They look so crestfallen when I tell them there are no ghosts that I have come up with an addendum - if there ARE ghosts, it would be my duty to protect them as well. They wouldn't exist for your entertainment, and I want their privacy respected.

posted by louche mustachio at 1:32 PM on June 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

My wife is one of those who wants to believe. She watches Ghost Adventures as a documentary, albeit acknowledging that the guys are drama queens. She prefers that I watch with her. I watch Ghost Adventures as a comedy, albeit acknowledging that the guys are HILARIOUS drama queens. It also helps if you take a drink every time you hear the words: "dude, wait, whoa, what," and "startling evidence". Though sometimes the first four are a complete sentence from Aaron and that's trouble for the drinker.
posted by Ber at 2:15 PM on June 18, 2016 [5 favorites]

I have an active dislike for the Warrens, who I, for one, am thoroughly convinced are complete scam artists operating in the full knowledge that they are taking advantage of confused, misled, and very frightened people. I also love the ghost-hunting haunted house style of horror movie as my favorite sub-genre of horror, which is in turn my favorite kind of movie. The degree to which the Warrens have saturated the current generation of such films is an endless source of irritation to me.
posted by Scattercat at 4:50 PM on June 18, 2016 [7 favorites]

Horror novelist Ray Garton has been denouncing the Warrens (with whom he collaborated on a "nonfiction" book in the early 1990s) for years, and I see no reason not to believe him. For my part, I enjoyed The Conjuring a lot, and I'll certainly get around to the sequel. But -- speaking as an "I want to believe" who is generally perhaps not skeptical enough -- I think the IRL Warrens were con artists.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:02 PM on June 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

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