Reuben Pickle Dog
June 27, 2016 1:27 PM   Subscribe

The Minnesota State Fair has announced the new foods available for 2016. (Prev.)
posted by griphus (196 comments total) 29 users marked this as a favorite
 
*settles in*
posted by infini at 1:32 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


Spam curds.
Spam curds.
Spam curds.
posted by duffell at 1:34 PM on June 27, 2016 [9 favorites]


There's a lot of things I don't miss after moving out of MN and the Twin Cities but the State Fair, man the memory of the fair is the one that hurts. In late August me and my wife go into a funk just knowing its going on and we're a very very long drive away. That said, the worst thing the fair ever did was move the fresh brownie booth blocks away from the cold milk stand. It was a marriage made in heaven.
posted by Ber at 1:35 PM on June 27, 2016 [9 favorites]


I'm so glad you chose Reuben Pickle Dog as the title because it is (a) my favorite idea that I (b)felt especially proud of because (a dill pickle spear with sauerkraut and Thousand Island dressing wrapped in a slice of pastrami) is so much healthier than any normal item and (c) is totally something I can make at home.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:38 PM on June 27, 2016 [8 favorites]


a bottle of anything and one of each please.... to go.
posted by entropicamericana at 1:40 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


I'd sooner eat any of these than Mac 'n' Cheetos.

Yes, even the Spam Curds.
posted by SansPoint at 1:40 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


You've got to prove to me that both the captions and the pictures weren't generated by recursive neural networks.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 1:42 PM on June 27, 2016 [20 favorites]


Dear lord, the Cheesy French Onion Monkey Bread.

If that's half as good as it sounds, I could probably eat nothing else for the rest of my (short, happy) life.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:44 PM on June 27, 2016 [16 favorites]


Ethically fraught thing that I know it to be...

Damn, I miss eating meat.
posted by RolandOfEld at 1:45 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


At this point they're just using a Markov chain of things that kill you, right?
posted by leotrotsky at 1:45 PM on June 27, 2016 [20 favorites]


so much healthier than any normal item

Well, apart from pastrami being one of the fattiest and saltiest of your meat choices.

But yeah, I will try making those at home!
posted by yhbc at 1:45 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


You folks in the midwest are lucky, you seem to get pretty good fairs. My local annual state fair is the Topsfield Fair in Topsfield, MA.

It is terrible.
posted by bondcliff at 1:46 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I meant to type "so much healthier than any normal item I would normally pick as a favorite on a state fair list."
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:47 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


God, all this stuff always looks so good. I'm glad I live a thousand miles away or I could go and spend a ton of money. I'm hugely amused by "paneer on a spear."

(and thank you, MCMikeNamara, I so would not have thought of making Reuben Pickle Dogs at home and I SO could do that)
posted by dlugoczaj at 1:47 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


PANEER ON A SPEAR

SWISS CHARD ON A FAUCHARD

MIKE & IKES ON A PIKE

BRIOCHE ON A BARDICHE

PANNA COTTA ON A NAGINATA
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:50 PM on June 27, 2016 [94 favorites]


We'll see what the CNE has to announce in a month or so.
posted by GuyZero at 1:51 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


Paneer on a spear cracked me up, because I've been obsessed with Hot Dish On A Stick for YEARS.

For reference.
posted by bibliogrrl at 1:56 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


No love for the Carpe Diem? The waffle cone is fish-shaped!
posted by queensissy at 1:57 PM on June 27, 2016 [7 favorites]


The cheesy french onion monkey bread looks AMAZING. Might have to make myself a vegetarian version of that someday soon.
posted by rmless at 1:57 PM on June 27, 2016


But the monkey is the best part.
posted by RobotHero at 1:59 PM on June 27, 2016 [24 favorites]


Amusing that this was posted right next to But is it...food?
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:00 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


I love the Carpe Diem. I will take all of the unwanted carpes diem, in fact.
posted by Frowner at 2:02 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


The Reuben Pickle Dog is severely lacking of rye bread. Maybe next time, well-toasted rye hot dog buns?
posted by hippybear at 2:03 PM on June 27, 2016 [14 favorites]


One of the nice things about having lived in MN for so long is that you start to learn how to filter the New Foods list for items that are likely to be duds, based on the vendor.

Minnesota Wine Country has a pretty terrible track record for their "food," so I'll be steering well clear of the Candied Bacon Doughnut Sliders. The Blue Moon Dine-In Theater is usually pretty on point, so I'd got for the Cheesy French Onion Monkey Bread from them, but I'd give it a hard pass if it was coming from Green Mill (which, is not even trying to inspire this year... Italian Taco? seriously?).

French Meadow is great in their regular locations (even the airport), but I wouldn't trust them with fair food. I can't imagine that O'Gara's Deep Fried Grilled Cheese Bites will be anything but the more boring possible interpretation that you can think of when you think of what would happen if you deep fried some pieces of grilled cheese.

I always get *something* from the Sausage Sisters, so I'm feel pretty good about their Beer Brat Buddies, even if that doesn't seem super exciting compared to, say, Spam Curds.
posted by sparklemotion at 2:03 PM on June 27, 2016 [16 favorites]


Also, I want to point out, they have an ENTIRE LOCATION at the fair named SPAM®
posted by hippybear at 2:04 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


hippybear: Is it full of Vikings?
posted by SansPoint at 2:05 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


That is because SPAM is from Minnesota.
posted by bibliogrrl at 2:06 PM on June 27, 2016 [7 favorites]


It's apparently full of the SPAM® Curds. The website doesn't give much more information.
posted by hippybear at 2:06 PM on June 27, 2016


And for supplemental reading (and to prep your game plan if you are a local who doesn't have to go on the first day), I highly recommend The Heavy Table's Annual State Fair Food Tour (link goes to last year's).

Good pictures, decent snark, and the knowledge that these poor saps ate some of that horrible stuff just so they could tell you what was good.
posted by sparklemotion at 2:06 PM on June 27, 2016 [6 favorites]


LUCKY CHARMS ON A GLAIVE-GUISARME!
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:16 PM on June 27, 2016 [21 favorites]


CROQUE MONSIEUR ON A RANSEUR
posted by griphus at 2:23 PM on June 27, 2016 [12 favorites]


i have literally no idea if those words actually rhyme
posted by griphus at 2:24 PM on June 27, 2016 [22 favorites]


PHILLY CHEESESTEAK ON A SIX INCH STAKE

GRILLED PIKE ON A RAILROAD SPIKE
posted by SansPoint at 2:25 PM on June 27, 2016 [12 favorites]


I would absolutely eat the Carpe Diem and a bunch of the ice creams. (Also a few of the savoury things.)
posted by jeather at 2:26 PM on June 27, 2016


REUBEN ON A BEC-DE-CORBIN
posted by jedicus at 2:29 PM on June 27, 2016 [10 favorites]


I am already all fired up about the Minnesota Corn Dog, which looks like a corn dog but is actually SO MUCH MORE

Hooray fair! My only goal in attending is to find as many terrible things to eat as possible. We always start with a Pronto Pup, and we always end with cheese curds, because after eating cheese curds I kind of can't look at food any more...
posted by caution live frogs at 2:30 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


SNOWCONE IN A CALZONE
posted by JoeZydeco at 2:31 PM on June 27, 2016 [10 favorites]


SMORGASBORD ON A PIRATE SWORD
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:36 PM on June 27, 2016 [14 favorites]


CHICKEN PARMAGIANA ON A KATANA

CHEESY BREAD ON A W88 THERMONUCLEAR WARHEAD
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:38 PM on June 27, 2016 [24 favorites]


But is it...food?
posted by standardasparagus at 2:39 PM on June 27, 2016


[emperor] I will MAKE IT food [/emperor]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:40 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


CHICKEN KUNG PAO ON A RAM DAO
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:40 PM on June 27, 2016 [6 favorites]


LOIN OF RACOON ON A BOHEMIAN EAR SPOON!

FILLET OF HAKE ON A GARDEN RAKE!

SNACKS FOR THE FAIR GOD!!!
INDIGESTION FOR THE BLOOD THRONE!!!!
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:43 PM on June 27, 2016 [12 favorites]


CHICKPEA ON A KUKRI

FOOTLONG ON A BALISONG
posted by theodolite at 2:47 PM on June 27, 2016 [8 favorites]


::frantically searches for the pepto popsicle on a stick stand::
posted by Karaage at 2:50 PM on June 27, 2016 [7 favorites]


FRIED SPAM ON A BATTERING RAM
posted by little onion at 2:52 PM on June 27, 2016 [17 favorites]


GRISTLE IN A FIST-LE
posted by theodolite at 2:52 PM on June 27, 2016 [9 favorites]


See also: Apple Cabin foods. Pork Dillingers and Meadow Friends!
posted by Nelson at 2:55 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


CREPE SUZETTE ON A BAYONET
posted by dlugoczaj at 2:57 PM on June 27, 2016 [21 favorites]


As someone who lived in Korea for a spell, Spam Sushi is just Gimbap, no?
posted by GilloD at 2:57 PM on June 27, 2016


As someone who lived in Korea for a spell, Spam Sushi is just Gimbap, no?

Or Spam Musubi, if you're Hawai'ian.
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:00 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


PICKLED CUKE ON A MINI NUKE
NAAN ON A FAT MAN
TRIFLE ON THE XUANLONG RIFLE
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:00 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


MILLER HIGHLIFE ON A BOWIEKNIFE

CRAB WONTON ON A STUN BATON
posted by little onion at 3:01 PM on June 27, 2016 [12 favorites]


> Spam Sushi is just Gimbap, no?

Well, if the description is to be believed, it's made with sushi rice, so unlike gimbap it should be seasoned with vinegar.

(And plenty of gimbap has no Spam in it. But yeah, it's common.)
posted by a mirror and an encyclopedia at 3:01 PM on June 27, 2016


I've sadly never been to the Minnesota State Fair. Are the portions huge, or can you assemble, like, a tasting menu of all the awesome food that's on offer?
posted by indubitable at 3:04 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


PAN-FRIED FLUKE ON A MAMELUKE
BOTTLE GOURD ON A MISERICORDE
FRIED MARS BAR ON A SCIMITAR
posted by dlugoczaj at 3:04 PM on June 27, 2016 [10 favorites]


FRIED RICE ON AN AHLSPIESS
HARISSA ON A SARISSA
QUESADILLA ON A CINQUEDEA
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:08 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


CAPELIN ON A JAVELIN

LEMONADE INSIDE A GRENADE

A SALAD BAR ON A MORNING STAR
posted by little onion at 3:11 PM on June 27, 2016 [9 favorites]


OFFAL ON AN AWL
KALE ON A FLAIL
PICKLE ON A SICKLE
STAFF OF LIFE ON A KNIFE
CHICKEN WINGS IN A SLING
VIANDS ON FROSTBRANDS
SPOTTED DICK ON A PICK
APPLE JACKS ON A POLEAXE
posted by jedicus at 3:12 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


FROMAGE SUR UNE FLAMBERGE
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:16 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


The best thing about the fair is all the corn-related food. My multi-year favorite food (corn fritters) may - MAY - now have been overtaken by the Blue Moon Dine-In Theater's sweetcorn ice cream which is simple and pure and perfect and good. Everything ice cream should be.
posted by triggerfinger at 3:24 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


Sometimes you can get sweet corn ice cream from the Dairy Store at the U of M's St. Paul campus. We had it from there a couple of summers ago and -- speaking as an ice cream lover and -maker -- I was impressed.
posted by wenestvedt at 3:57 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


Wait!

The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle?
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 3:58 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


indubitable, the whole point is to eat too much.

I've only been once since 1999 and I still remember that much.
posted by wenestvedt at 3:58 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Are the portions huge, or can you assemble, like, a tasting menu of all the awesome food that's on offer?

The portions, while usually smaller than a full meal each, are generally too big for a tasting menu. The best way to do the fair is to fast for a least a morning and then go with one or more people that you don't mind sharing food with.

You'll still eat too much, but you'll get to try more variety.
posted by sparklemotion at 4:04 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


Treet meat on a spirochete.
Chik-o-stik in a bailiwick.
Moon pie in a diamond sky.
posted by Bob Regular at 4:21 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


FIDDLE FADDLE ON AN ATL ATL
GOURD ON A SWORD
BELLY BUSTER ON A KNUCKLEDUSTER
posted by Elly Vortex at 4:25 PM on June 27, 2016 [14 favorites]


I can't continue the all caps, it hurts my soul. However...

Cheese block on a flint lock
Trifle on a rifle
Creme Brule in a trebuchet (look out here it comes...splat)
posted by Elly Vortex at 4:30 PM on June 27, 2016 [11 favorites]


Paneer on a Spear? Oh, hells yes!
Sheep Dog? Oh, yessssss.

Sadly, though, still no deep-fried gravy on a stick.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:37 PM on June 27, 2016


DOUGH ON A Bō
COD ON A ROD
FRY ON A SAI
posted by LionIndex at 4:42 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


I had to work the State Fair last year - my first year in Minnesota. Handing out pamphlets for hours on end is the worst of the fair, and doesn't leave you with any energy for the best of the fair: the food or seeing the butter princesses. I'm really looking forward to actually being at the fair this year when I'm at the fair, and am more than ready to try the fish waffle cone thing or the donut that is trying to be strawberry shortcake.
posted by heurtebise at 5:00 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


FRIED SNAILS ON A CAT O'NINE TAILS
FRENCH DIP ON A WHIP
posted by Fig at 5:09 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


BIMBIMBAP SERVED BY A COP
posted by schmod at 5:11 PM on June 27, 2016 [6 favorites]


The Reuben Pickle Dog is severely lacking of rye bread. Maybe next time, well-toasted rye hot dog buns?

Maybe next time skewered on a stick, dipped in rye corn meal batter, and it's a Reuben Pickle Corndog.
posted by notyou at 5:11 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


Haven't had pastrami in a while. Luckily there is a great place near me that makes some amazing meats. Brown's if anyone in Orlando is curious.
posted by Splunge at 5:14 PM on June 27, 2016


FRIED RAMPS ON A TRAMP STAMP
posted by haikuku at 5:15 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


BRISKET ON A MUSKET
posted by Splunge at 5:18 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


It's looking like I won't get to experience the MN state fair, just due to some timing issues. We moved to about 1.5 hours from MSP a couple years ago and didn't know about it when we got here in August our first year; then we were out of the country last year, and now we're moving to Michigan at the beginning of August this year and the Michigan state fair is across the state from us (although the western Michigan fair isn't too far away and occurs our first weekend in the state). At least we'll have the Northern Wisconsin state fair in a couple weeks, which doesn't have much in the way of exotic foods, but you know for sure there's brats and cheese curds and beer.
posted by LionIndex at 5:20 PM on June 27, 2016


COCOANUT SHRIMP SERVED BY A GUY WITH A LIMP
posted by Splunge at 5:21 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


APPLE ON A SCALPEL
ITALIAN GRINDER ON AN ANGLE GRINDER
posted by ardgedee at 5:45 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


CORNICHONS ON A PALM TREE FROND
posted by bendy at 5:47 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


BREAD THAT'S UNLEAVENED ON AN AK-47
posted by Splunge at 5:53 PM on June 27, 2016 [9 favorites]


CHEESY SNACKS ON A SCRAMASAX

GRILLED FLOUNDER ON A ZWEIHÄNDER

STIR-FRY ON A SHINAI

BRAISED PORK ON A PITCHFORK

S'MORE ON A CLAYMORE

LOBSTER THERMIDOR ON A TWO-BY-FOUR
posted by Rangi at 5:55 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


French Meadow is great in their regular locations (even the airport)[...]
I haven't stopped at their airport location in five years or so because it was SO BAD and SO TASTELESS. Like "Panera Bread" bad and tasteless. I'll have to give it a try again.

Also, I have to say that "Gristle in a Fistula" didn't seem to be really ... in the spirit of the whole thing. But I am impressed by the level of effort people put out.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 5:55 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


POTAGE IN A MIRAGE
posted by Splunge at 5:55 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


BONE MARROW ON A HARROW
posted by Splunge at 5:56 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


show of hands who has the list of melee weapons wiki page open
posted by poffin boffin at 5:57 PM on June 27, 2016 [22 favorites]


TAPIR ON A RAPIER
posted by Splunge at 5:59 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


show of hands who has the list of melee weapons wiki page open

now or just generally bc yes
posted by griphus at 5:59 PM on June 27, 2016 [22 favorites]


I kind of love the gratuitous nods toward foodie-ism laced generously throughout the item descriptions.

Candied Bacon Donut Sliders: Sliced glazed donut holes with thick candied bacon and a chocolate red wine ganache.

Cheesy French Onion Monkey Bread: Savory, pull-apart artisan bread loaf filled with caramelized onions, cheese and beef broth, then baked in a wood-fired oven.

Lamb dog served hot in a bun with garlic sautéed kale, raw fermented sauerkraut, quinoa and honey mustard drizzle.

Paneer On A Spear: Deep-fried Indian-seasoned paneer cheese coated with a local craft beer batter and served with tomato garlic chutney


You'd think punnily-named fried foods on sticks had an adequate raison d'etre, but apparently the bar has been raised to demand artisanal, punnily-named fried foods on sticks.
posted by eponym at 5:59 PM on June 27, 2016 [8 favorites]


My daughter came up with the following:

Roasted burdock on a rock

Candy floss on a blunderbuss

Nam pla on a shillelagh

Roasted chard on a bombard

(shout out to a history of weapons!)
posted by mogget at 5:59 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


PIG HINDQUARTER IN A MORTAR
posted by Splunge at 6:02 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


HOT CROSS BUN ON A COLD SHOTGUN
posted by box at 6:03 PM on June 27, 2016 [9 favorites]


SPECK ON A PANZERSCHRECK.
posted by Splunge at 6:05 PM on June 27, 2016


Twice-baked hake on a rake, with a side of cake.
posted by CosmicRayCharles at 6:07 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


MARROW BONE DELIVERED BY A DRONE
posted by Splunge at 6:08 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


SMORES ON CLAYMORES
posted by Splunge at 6:09 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


Deep-fried Twinkies on a Slinky.
posted by CosmicRayCharles at 6:09 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


A HERO ON A ZERO

Think about it. Think about it. Nevermind.
posted by Splunge at 6:11 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


OMELETTE IN A BOMBLET
posted by Splunge at 6:13 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


LARD ON A POINYARD
LIFESAVER ON A SABER
FRAPPE ON AN EPEE
PIMENTO ON A STILETTO
OR...
i'm feeling dull:
COLLARDS ON A BOLLARD
CREME DE MINTH ON A PLINTH
PILLSBURY BISCUIT CANNISTER ON A BANNISTER
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:13 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


BEARCLAW ON A CHAINSAW
posted by indubitable at 6:14 PM on June 27, 2016 [9 favorites]


::sits back::

I do so love threads like this.

::sips a drink::

::Near the sink::
posted by Splunge at 6:16 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


BATTER-FRIED CHIVES ON BUTTERFLY KNIVES
posted by Krom Tatman at 6:23 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


Back in my day, all we had at the fair were corn dogs and funnelcakes sprinkled with carnie jizz and we LIKED it that way.
posted by dr_dank at 6:25 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


What rhymes with Bungeoppang?
posted by sweetmarie at 6:27 PM on June 27, 2016


Orang-utan.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 6:32 PM on June 27, 2016


Un taco bueno on a Maliwan Volcano
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:33 PM on June 27, 2016


CLAM CHOWDAH IN A HOWDAH
MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA BLAST IN AN ARBALEST
HAMHOCK ON AN ESTOC
posted by prize bull octorok at 6:34 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


hors d'oeuvres on MIRVs
posted by knuckle tattoos at 6:38 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


PRESSED GANDER ON A ZWEIHANDER
posted by griphus at 6:39 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


RATATOUILLE THAT GOES KA-BLOOEY
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 6:42 PM on June 27, 2016 [7 favorites]


COCKTAIL CARAFE ON A THREE-SECTION STAFF
posted by griphus at 6:43 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


TOSTADA ON AN ESPADA
posted by prize bull octorok at 6:45 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK ON A FRICKIN' IRON STAKE
posted by box at 6:49 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


TEMPURA CARROT ON A MALLET
posted by SansPoint at 6:50 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


CALVE'S BRAIN ON A SWORD CANE
STEAK TARTARE ON A GOM JABBAR
CANDIED PEAR ON A GORGON'S STARE
posted by Songdog at 6:57 PM on June 27, 2016 [7 favorites]


CHA SIU BAO ON A YANYUEDAO
posted by griphus at 6:59 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


There are so many foods you have to get there: cheese curds, bucket of those really good cookies, all you can drink milk, sweet corn, and a pronto pup (better than a corn dog). I never have room for the new stuff.
posted by Alluring Mouthbreather at 6:59 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


Nam pla on a shillelagh

I apologize for the pedantry, but "shillelagh" rhymes with "scaly." And little else, because I've spent the entire afternoon trying to think of food to put on a shillelagh. The best I can come up with is Bailey's or triticale.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:06 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


salad comma Israeli on a shillelagh
posted by griphus at 7:11 PM on June 27, 2016 [8 favorites]


ORANGUTAN ON A MINUTEMAN
posted by indubitable at 7:29 PM on June 27, 2016


Needs more regional dishes:

SHOOFLY PIE ON A RAILROAD TIE
GARBAGE PLATE SET TO DETONATE
LOCO MOCO AT TLATELOLCO
posted by Songdog at 7:30 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


I was proud to get near a rhyme, but I'm feeling rather bad about that last one.
posted by Songdog at 7:34 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


all you can drink milk,

This is a thing? /me googles... Yup. An amazing, wonderful thing. They *should* offer full strength, though...
posted by mikelieman at 7:37 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


PORK ON A SPORK

I don't think I did that right
posted by yhbc at 7:41 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


FROZEN AMARETTO ON A STILETTO
posted by daisystomper at 7:48 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


AYCDMilk used to be a quarter. From a shiny truck parked in full sun.

As you drank you could actually feel it curdling in your stomach from the heat and grease and acid. State Fair Magic!
posted by wenestvedt at 7:51 PM on June 27, 2016 [6 favorites]


(Also: QUICHE WITH SWISS CHARD ON A HAND-AND-A-HAND SWORD. And KASHA ON A COSH.)
posted by wenestvedt at 7:53 PM on June 27, 2016


Wait, that second one would just be messy.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:54 PM on June 27, 2016


Food on a frood.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:55 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


I appluad your pedantry, Metroid Baby, but Wikipedia says it can be "shi-lay-lee" or "shi-lay-la".
posted by mogget at 8:01 PM on June 27, 2016


Last year Hot Indian Foods offered Tikka-on-a-Stikka, the best named Fair Food. The best new things I had at the Fair last year were Tipsy Pies & JonnyPops. We can now buy these at various grocery stores; no waiting for the Fair!

As for portion size--big. Like usually too big for one person. Stuff comes in buckets. Sweet Martha's cookies come in an ice cream gallon bucket. They sell 1 million cookies a day. (Citation: http://www.startribune.com/work-is-sweet-for-lucky-few-at-sweet-martha-s-cookie-jar-at-minnesota-state-fair/323641741/#1) The highlight of last year's Fair for me was when I sat down next to a young woman who said, "Would you like a cheese curd?" from her paper tray. Absolutely! And, thanks, because one delicious, salty, gooey cheese curd is all I need!

And, Minnesotans & others going this year, if you go on Read & Ride Day (Aug 31) you get a discount on admission if you show your library card. Plus library-related activities 9-5 in Carousel Park. I have to miss it this year, but it is fun, if hot, to work the event.
posted by Nosey Mrs. Rat at 8:02 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


Last year's Tikka-on-a-Stikka was THE BEST.
posted by triggerfinger at 8:14 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


SOMETHING ON ANOTHER THING
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 8:45 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


When I had a column at MinnPost, I used it as a pretext for going to the Fair every single day it was open.

It was magical.
posted by maxsparber at 8:47 PM on June 27, 2016 [6 favorites]


GRILLED SMOKED COD ON A CATTLE PROD
posted by Spathe Cadet at 8:48 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


Gagh on a... loch...
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:55 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


SUBMARINE ON A SUBMARINE

(I'm terrible at this)
posted by jamaro at 10:00 PM on June 27, 2016 [9 favorites]


A PILE OF FRIED CRAP ATOP A BOOBY TRAP
posted by macrowave at 10:11 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]


CRAB BOIL ON A FOIL
OLD BAY ON AN ÉPÉE
HERSHEY BAR ON A NINJA STAR
GLASS OF TANG ON A BOOMERANG
posted by Room 641-A at 10:53 PM on June 27, 2016 [7 favorites]


HOT DOG ON A STICK wait
posted by Room 641-A at 10:57 PM on June 27, 2016 [11 favorites]


SPAGHETTI ON A MACHETE
posted by NMcCoy at 12:27 AM on June 28, 2016 [8 favorites]


banana on a katana
posted by poffin boffin at 12:36 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


MOONS OVER MY HAMMY ON A MURASAME
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:54 AM on June 28, 2016 [7 favorites]


SPAM SAM
posted by gucci mane at 1:02 AM on June 28, 2016


Marzipan on a partizan.
posted by Alex Voyd at 2:11 AM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


Nosey Mrs. Rat: ...one delicious, salty, gooey cheese curd is all I need.

Flagged for offensive content.
posted by wenestvedt at 3:22 AM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


show of hands who has the list of melee weapons wiki page open


I see you've been to The Fair before.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:47 AM on June 28, 2016 [13 favorites]


I know this is a food thread but i cannot let a MN state fair thread go buy without saying: RIP Tome Selick/Pepsi ride on the midway, you were the absolute weirdest way ever to feel a little (extra) nauseous after too much deep fried on a stick.

its been (too) many years since i last went.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 5:20 AM on June 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


I've never done the rides. I tend to focus on animals, food, the fine arts competition, and the all you can drink milk (nothing like it on a 90+ degree day).
posted by Alluring Mouthbreather at 5:33 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


FLANK ON A SHANK
ROLO ON A BOLO
SWORDFISH ON ITSELF
CORDIAL CONCORDE ON A VORPAL SWORD
PALM FROND ON A MAGIC WAND
BOULLIBASE ON A +1 MACE
posted by ian1977 at 5:39 AM on June 28, 2016 [4 favorites]


SAUTEED CHICKEN WITH CHARDONNAY FLUNG FROM A MASSIVE TREBUCHET
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 5:59 AM on June 28, 2016 [12 favorites]


WRT hot days at the MN State Fair:

One time my sister and I went to the Fair as teen-agers. We stopped in at the giant, brown French Fry booth across from the Midway, because one of her friends was working there. It was really hot that day, and even hotter air was pouring out the windows of the booth in sickly waves. After a couple of minutes of friendly chat, my sister slowly went face-down into our bucket of (free!!) fries. I asked if she was all right as I gently moved the bucket aside, and she suddenly slid sideways away from me and landed full-length on the ground.

I carried her over to a bench in the shade and her friend gave us a cup of cold water, which helped revive her. But if it was hot enough standing outside that booth, I never figured out how the kids working in there survived. (And I spent two days in a row working in front of an outdoor pizza oven in 100+ weather the next summer!)
posted by wenestvedt at 6:24 AM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


QUATTRO STAGIONI ON A ZAMBONI
posted by box at 6:37 AM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


COQ AU VIN ON SOME THING
posted by LionIndex at 6:44 AM on June 28, 2016


CORN DOG ON A GOEDENDAG
SOUFFLÉ ON A TREBUCHET
KING CAKE ON A PUNJI STAKE
FRANK AND BEANS ON A GUILLOTINE
PULLED PORK ON A MILITARY FORK
posted by plinth at 6:51 AM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


CLEANSE YOUR PALATE WITH A SQUEAKY MALLET
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:56 AM on June 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


I have much respect for MN's committment to its fair foods. We have much to learn in Texas. Though this year we DID have the Smoky Bacon (Frozen) Margarita, Cowboy Corn Crunch, and Chicken Fried Lobster. among others. Past winners have included Fried Thanksgiving Dinner, Fried Butter, Fried Cookie Dough, Fried Coke....
posted by emjaybee at 7:03 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


POPTARTS ON THE ROD OF SEVEN PARTS!
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:33 AM on June 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


Maybe next time skewered on a stick, dipped in rye corn meal batter, and it's a Reuben Pickle Corndog.

I can't find a link or picture right now, but a few years ago there was a place that took corned beef, pickle, cheese, and sauerkraut and then dipped it in a rye bread batter and deep fried. It was served on a stick and came with a cup of Thousand Island for dipping. It looked like a literal piece of shit on a stick but it was so good. I assume it's still there (Food Bldg, center island, opposite the big cheese curd place) but the Food Finder page doesn't go live until August even for searching past years.

None of the stuff this year looked too exciting but then I got to Cheesy French Onion Monkey Bread. Every one of those words makes me happy by itself. I just hope putting them all together lives up to the anticipation.

CHALUPA ON A ZHUA CLAW
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 7:41 AM on June 28, 2016


I'm looking forward to the cheesy onion monkey bread and the carpe diem. The grilled cheese bites also look good, and the beer brat buddies, as long as I can skip the sauerkraut. I actually used to work with a guy whose mother and aunt(?) run Sausage Sisters. Love their biscuits and gravy.

I'm a little concerned at how many of the new foods involve shrimp. Call me crazy, but the Fair is not the place I would go to for shellfish. Granted, all the shrimp-selling locations are actually indoors in real buildings, so proper refrigeration shouldn't be an issue. Still.
posted by Autumnheart at 8:22 AM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


CINDY BRADY'S ITALIAN ICE ON A SCYTHE
posted by Room 641-A at 9:06 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Did anyone ever figure out what last year's kale "fried in wine" was, or how something can be "fried in wine?" This has literally been bothering me for a year.
posted by Panjandrum at 9:08 AM on June 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


That said, the worst thing the fair ever did was move the fresh brownie booth blocks away from the cold milk stand.

I've been saying this for years. It was just across the street! You can still grab some cookies at the big Sweet Martha's stand next to the grand stand and it's a straight shot about a block down to the milk.

They say that it's all you can drink but my grand father would proudly talk about the time both of his sons drank so much milk at the all-you-can-drink milk stand that they were cut off. No one can really agree on how much milk they drank exactly.

I've sadly never been to the Minnesota State Fair. Are the portions huge, or can you assemble, like, a tasting menu of all the awesome food that's on offer?

Yes and no. It varies a lot by item and a lot of them are really huge considering that most of this stuff is supposed to be a snack (it's on a stick so you can carry it around easier). But if you go as a group of four people and everyone shares, the portions are pretty good. Also keep in mind that you'll walk several miles without really realizing it (until you get home and start to think about where you went, ask me how I know!).

I've been to the MN State Fair every year I've been alive and I was born in late September so I went once in utero once too. The UofM has a really great, free park-and-ride that uses the parking next to the TCF stadium in Minneapolis and then takes a quasi-private route to the fairgrounds. The buses usually use that route to shuttle people between the Minneapolis and St. Paul campuses but classes don't start until after the fair is over so they can use it for the fair. Though recently we've been driving. We'll go on the Tuesday (the least busy day) or Wednesday (the 2nd least busy) earlier in the day, walk around and look at stuff for a while, then we go back to the car and rest for a while, blast the A/C, and change our socks (it's like putting on new feet, I swear!) and then head back out for a few more hours.

The last few years have been oppressively hot and, thanks to our 10,000+ lakes, humid, so we haven't stayed for very long the last three or four years.
posted by VTX at 9:56 AM on June 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


The batter for the kale was probably made with wine mixed in.
posted by ZeusHumms at 9:56 AM on June 28, 2016


ETOUFEE ON AN EPEE. (very, very messy)
posted by Sophie1 at 9:57 AM on June 28, 2016 [4 favorites]


Candied Bacon Donut Sliders
I have always found the word 'slider', when applied to food, to bring up unpleasant images. Sliding in? Sliding out? Sliding through??

Although I think it's my favorite of the bunch, depending on the frozen treats.
posted by MtDewd at 10:11 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


I've lived near the MN State Fair for a few years now, close enough that I try to go at least once a year. I live about a mile from the closest entrance, so I usually walk. So many people go annually that nearby neighborhoods have zoned parking. Houses within walking distance often offer up their lawns and driveways as paid parking ($10-20).

Browsing the foods, one 'new' one that jumped out at me and assaulted my arteries:
26. La La Palooza Sundae: Bridgeman’s giant retro sundae is back! Eight scoops of ice cream (two each of vanilla, chocolate, strawberry and butter brittle) covered with caramel, pineapple and strawberry toppings, plus nuts, cherries, sliced banana and whipped cream, all served in Bridgeman’s signature souvenir goblet.
At Bridgeman's Ice Cream
Fortunately, one can walk it off running around the fair.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:11 AM on June 28, 2016


SOAP ON A POPE wait
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:15 AM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


I can't go to the Fair this year, so I would love to see a recipe for Cheesy Onion Monkey Bread if anyone works one out. (This one looks too easy, somehow.)
posted by wenestvedt at 10:15 AM on June 28, 2016


Why all the weapons? Whatever it is, it's just on a stick. We're purists that way. There's nothing more Minnesotan that the State Fair*. I remember the AYCD Milk when it was a quarter as well, but you have to remember that it was whole milk.

Here's a great idea, give nine year old me ten or eleven dixie cups of it in the hot, hot sun and let's see what happens. The answer is apparently convulsions, vomiting and hanging out in the back of an ambulance for an hour or so.

*Maybe the high school hockey tournament, but just slightly.
posted by Sphinx at 10:23 AM on June 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


Oh, I missed the New Foods PDF the first time through.
Somehow, I felt much better looking at the pictures than reading the descriptions.
I didn't know there was cheese-flavored SPAM or bloody mary mix marinara.
I think I have to lie down now.
posted by MtDewd at 10:27 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


On a side note, I have SPAM that I got at the State Fair that's been unopened now for 5-6 years. Am afraid to open those cans now.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:35 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Also, Sweet Martha's sells cookies in smaller portions. The smaller portion sizes don't seem to be popular.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:38 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


SHALLOTS ON A SHINGLE. A classic.

I went up to MN 20 years ago to for my Dad's burial and Mom and I stopped by the fair. The best (and most spamful) state fair I've been to.
posted by jabo at 10:43 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Also, Sweet Martha's sells cookies in smaller portions. The smaller portion sizes don't seem to be popular.

Paying cash money for an overflowing cone of cookies is just less satisfying than doing the same for an overflowing bucket of cookies.

Which is non-ideal, because in my experience Sweet Martha's cookies are just not the same the next day. So if you buy the bucket, you're committed. I've pretty much given up on the cookies in order to save space in my belly for extra Fresh French Fries.
posted by sparklemotion at 10:51 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Spam sushi seems more sushi like than I expected.
posted by ZeusHumms at 11:16 AM on June 28, 2016


Eat the fresh cookies enough to close the lid, put the bucket in the freezer. Take out a cookie and put it in the microwave for like 10-15 seconds (my memory is a bit fuzzy and microwaves vary so go slow and experiment!) or warmed up a bit in a toaster oven and you'll get pretty close.

They also sell the dough frozen but they just don't come out the same at home.

Are there other current or former MN residents like me that think we could stand to have a 2nd State Fair in the spring?

I don't think quite as many people would go but I would certainly go to both. Same Fair, nicer weather, fewer people, and you still get the traditional one at the end of summer.
posted by VTX at 11:31 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Are there other current or former MN residents like me that think we could stand to have a 2nd State Fair in the spring?

I feel like there are enough fair-like things (some even at the fairgrounds) in the Spring that would lost if they got steamrollered over with another State Fair.

The State Fair is great, but there is so much else going on around here that there's no need for more than 10 days of it.
posted by sparklemotion at 11:44 AM on June 28, 2016


Why all the weapons?

It started with the fair offering Paneer On A Spear.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:56 AM on June 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


On a side note, I have SPAM that I got at the State Fair that's been unopened now for 5-6 years. Am afraid to open those cans now.

Are you kidding? It's SPAM; a few years aren't going to hurt it.

Unless you have reservations on opening it because of the contents, and not just the age of those contents. That I can understand.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 12:54 PM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


Sphinx: Here's a great idea, give nine year old me ten or eleven dixie cups of [milk] in the hot, hot sun and let's see what happens. The answer is apparently convulsions, vomiting and hanging out in the back of an ambulance for an hour or so.

Like I said: State Fair Magic!
posted by wenestvedt at 1:32 PM on June 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


wenestvedt: "Sphinx: Here's a great idea, give nine year old me ten or eleven dixie cups of [milk] in the hot, hot sun and let's see what happens. The answer is apparently convulsions, vomiting and hanging out in the back of an ambulance for an hour or so.

Like I said: State Fair Magic!
"

To quote a certain coach, I am a grown ass man. Forty is in my rearview mirror.

My parents are what you could call senior citizens. If this subject gets brought up, it's the only time my parents fight. To this day, Mom blames Dad for abandoning me at the AYCD milk tent for brownies and she found me in the back of the ambulance dry heaving in 1980. FFS, it's 2016 and I didn't die. Let it go.

I love you, Mom.
posted by Sphinx at 2:32 PM on June 28, 2016 [8 favorites]


183 comments in and not one person has noted that the all-you-can-drink milk comes in both "regular" and chocolate (apparently this was only introduced in 2004 - and its now going to cost TWO DOLLARS???).
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 2:33 PM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Exceptional_Hubris I'm not going to the fair, but if I ever did, I can guarantee that I would be able to get way more than $2.00 of value out of all-I-can-drink chocolate milk.
posted by SansPoint at 2:42 PM on June 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


I had never heard of AYCD milk and honestly it sounds kind of appealing. Apparently they have chocolate milk as well? Seems like a quality lunch.
posted by GuyZero at 2:53 PM on June 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


All you can gag milk. Mucous city.
posted by ian1977 at 2:58 PM on June 28, 2016


But if you come at just the time, you might get to see Mrs. VTX dip cookies in milk and feed them too me as I hold both the cookies and the milk.
posted by VTX at 3:25 PM on June 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


I may actually be at U of M for a graduate committee meeting at State Fair time this year, and I'm looking forward to gumbo poutine and, of course, cookies nd milk! The best thing about living on the Fair side of Larpenteur by the gates was that I could hear the concerts every night. Susan Tedeschi killed it one year.
posted by wintermind at 7:16 PM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


You think you can handle AYCD Milk? YOU CAN'T HANDLE AYCD MILK!!!

When the humidity rises -- and it was already like 88 degrees -- and your mouth is a little sticky already from eating too many cookies...suddenly the wind shifts, and you realize you're a few yards from the animal barns. A few yards downwind. *horror movie power chord*

Or maybe the sheriffs, on their horses, pause next to you, and the horse pees right on the street, and you realize, "Hey, the sound and smell of this fresh horse urine is impacting my appetite for whole milk in a negative way."

Or perhaps you are waiting in line for a fourth or even fifth cup, feeling pretty macho, when you hear screams and realize there is a large, angry farm animal on the loose and it's headed up the street right toward you. Now you have seconds to decide: flee, shrieking, like everyone else, or stand your ground and try to actively amortize the cost of that cup?
posted by wenestvedt at 7:32 PM on June 28, 2016 [4 favorites]


Wintermute, I grew up across the street from Macalester, and we could hear the stock car races at night!
posted by wenestvedt at 7:32 PM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


The defect is...horse urine.
posted by jamaro at 7:54 PM on June 28, 2016


Am I the only one who doesn't think Sweet Martha's cookies are very good? They taste like the ready-to-bake Toll House dough you can buy in the refrigerated section of the grocery store. Okay when right out of the oven, utterly mediocre when cooled. And that bucket is what, $25? You could buy a dozen packages of Chips Ahoy for that price and get a marginally better cookie. I dunno, in my opinion there are a million recipes for chocolate chip cookies that are way better, and people are better off saving their money, or at least spending it on something you *can't* get everywhere. Sweet Martha's is only successful for the same reason people spend a bunch of money to win a giant toy ape at the Midway, and then it ends up at Goodwill a week later because nobody needs a giant toy ape.
posted by Autumnheart at 12:52 PM on July 5, 2016


Okay when right out of the oven, utterly mediocre when cooled.

But who eats them cooled? You get them when they are still hot and snarf them down before they are cold. I mean, I basically agree with you that there are better options, like cheese curds and sweet corn, but usually someone in my family wants Sweet Martha's and I'm willing to help finish a bucket of even mediocre cookies when they are still hot from the oven.
posted by Alluring Mouthbreather at 7:15 AM on July 6, 2016


Yeah that's why we avoid the cookies. I'd happily eat one, but I don't need a trough full of them. Even the cheese curds become a "Let's share" dish among the wife, kid and I. (Corn dog though? No way, I am not sharing, get your own)
posted by caution live frogs at 8:41 AM on July 8, 2016


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