We Built This Robot to Explain Rape Culture to Men
August 17, 2016 5:10 PM   Subscribe

Reductress Is Devoting Its Entire Site to Rape Jokes That Punch Up: "In response to a sexual assault controversy that’s currently engulfing the New York comedy scene, women’s satire site Reductress has devoted its entire landing page to humor articles (primarily written by women) about rape." [warning: pointed satire about rape, rape culture, and abuse]

Articles include:

Nicole Silverberg: Have You Considered Spending $300 on a Self-Defense Class?:
My Facebook feed has been flooded with chicks talking about stuff like catcalling and assaults and rape, and I’m like, why complain when you can do something about it? When a man comes at you, you need to be able to defend yourself—which is why you should consider shelling out $300 for a self-defense class.

As my chest tattoo says, “boys will be boys,” and so you need to be prepared, even if in this case, the test is a crime, and doing the homework costs you close to half a month’s rent. This is your responsibility!
Marcia Belsky: How to Be an Ally to Both a Rapist and His Victim:
We’ve all had that classic uh-oh moment: Someone’s been accused of rape and you’re friends with both the rapist and his victim! What a disaster! You may be feeling cursed and alone, wondering, “How can I possibly support both of them?” It’s only natural to feel this way. Luckily, there’s no need for you to complicate your life just because one of your friends has destroyed the life of another friend. Here’s how to be a caring and attentive ally to both a rapist and his victim.
Mo Fry Pasic: This Rapist Has Figured Out a Way to End Rape Culture:
Jeff, a yet-to-be-convicted serial date rapist, offered to share his secret on how to end rape culture. How generous! Here’s his advice:

“Rape culture doesn’t exist.”

Wow! Jeff admits that rapes “do happen” but that culture is “not even a thing.” “There are individuals who make decisions, and that’s it,” Jeff says. “It’s like, why can’t you use logic?” Good point! We should just drop it. Be the change you wish to see in the world!
Ingrid Ostby: ‘Most Women Lie About Rape,’ Says Man Lying About Rape:
Revelatory statements from 31-year-old Todd Ratner have been made public today just minutes after several women came forward with allegations accusing him of sexual assault.

“This is a true stat, I’m not making this up—99 percent of women are lying about rape,” Ratner said, blatantly lying about rape. According to reports, Ratner wrote this across several Facebook comment threads and also shared it aloud to anyone who would listen.
Marcia Belsky: This Brave Man Hates Social Media Witch Hunts So Much He Decided To Start His Own:
Ready to be inspired?

Faced with the difficult decision of having to either listen to women or talk over them, one man spoke above the crowd in his brave yet endearing attempt to make somebody else’s rape about himself. 29-year-old Dave Harrison was sick of seeing public attacks on an alleged rapist, and so he asked for that energy to be put elsewhere.

“I hate this society we live in where social media dictates how we should discuss things,” Harrison tweeted this morning to his thirty thousand followers. “These witch hunts started by @AmandaNewman, @KatieLeGuin and @BethanyDiaz cannot be tolerated.”

Harrison then encouraged his followers to tweet at these women in order to put an end to what he calls “social media lynch mobs.”
Sarah Pappalardo: Let Me Tell You What An Actual Witch Hunt Looks Like:
Hello, it’s me, Hagatha. Yes, Hagatha the Witch. It seems that a lot of people have been calling rape accusations across social media a “witch hunt,” and while I’m not usually one get involved in other people’s business, this one in particular has really given me pause.

Would you like to know what an actual witch hunt looks like? Cut me down from this burning stake and I’ll tell you. Seriously, pull me down, I am about to burn.
Anna Drezen: Chill Ways to Just Sort of Live with It:
Hm, okay, so: You’ve been raped or abused or harassed by someone and the police won’t help you and he’s well-liked and you’re traumatized and you have to do work for work but everything is currently shattered and you’d sort of rather just die than try to answer even one email. Yeee-ikes! You could start down the painful road of recovery, but that’s more work for you to do. Plus it makes everyone uncomfortable, so … have you considered just sort of burying it down deep, deep, deep where no one can find it? Here’s how to pack your trauma in a lil’ bindle and keep on keepin’ on.
Bonus print edition headlines:

Fuck, Marry, Kill: Your Rapist, Your Abuser, or the Cops Who Did Nothing

Is It Technically Rape If I Have to Explain to Him What Counts As Rape?

We Built This Robot to Explain Rape Culture to Men
posted by palindromic (21 comments total) 122 users marked this as a favorite
I don't even know how to comment on this except to point at it vigorously with both hands and make a "yeah, there you go" face. Like, yep, I should write myself keyboard macros to link to each of these.
posted by Lyn Never at 5:15 PM on August 17, 2016 [12 favorites]

I didn't think it was possible for me to love Reductress any more than I already did, and yet here we are! <3
posted by juliplease at 5:19 PM on August 17, 2016 [9 favorites]

That "Chill Ways" article. Damn.
Have a Worse, Shorter Life

This one’s self-explanatory: Let your hair down, go a little wild, and don’t value your own life because the world doesn’t value it, so what’s the point? Live with the metallic taste of injustice in your throat at all times, die sooner of stress-related illnesses, and thank your lucky stars you won’t live long enough to see your granddaughters go through the same horseshit trauma factory we call Earth!
posted by thetortoise at 5:32 PM on August 17, 2016 [28 favorites]

So so good.
posted by naju at 5:48 PM on August 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

Reductress is sublimely funny.
posted by My Dad at 5:59 PM on August 17, 2016

I'm not strong enough to handle the realness. The extreme realness has knocked me over.
posted by bleep at 6:17 PM on August 17, 2016 [9 favorites]

posted by odinsdream at 6:20 PM on August 17, 2016

Woooooooooow. This is... yeah. Real.

My rapist sends me a message on Facebook every few years saying he misses me.
posted by Deoridhe at 6:21 PM on August 17, 2016 [22 favorites]

Me too, Deoridhe! He keeps changing his email account and I faithfully block each one. There's always a second message about how he's going to do it even worse and better next time, better meaning even more participants, when I don't answer within a few hours. But he doesn't understand where we went wrong! If only I would stop being mean long enough to explain why I am so mean!

Fantastic post, palindromic.
posted by E. Whitehall at 6:26 PM on August 17, 2016 [12 favorites]

I can't stop laughing, but it's that ugly, drunk-sounding, smeared makeup laugh that scares the cats and the neighbor kids.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:31 PM on August 17, 2016 [42 favorites]

Oh man, especially the "your sexual assaulter likes your posts about sexual assault". Man, I appreciate these ladies forever.
posted by corb at 6:40 PM on August 17, 2016 [13 favorites]

Is It Technically Rape If I Have to Explain to Him What Counts As Rape?

I laugh, because I don't want to be bitter in front of my kids.
posted by langtonsant at 8:16 PM on August 17, 2016 [8 favorites]

"I Anonymously Reported My Rape For The Anonymous Attention" might be my favorite.
posted by ChuraChura at 2:43 AM on August 18, 2016 [12 favorites]

This one’s self-explanatory: Let your hair down, go a little wild, and don’t value your own life because the world doesn’t value it, so what’s the point?

Having been raised by flaming misogynists in a blazingly misogynist evangelical church in a scorchingly incandescent wider culture of misogyny, yeah, that's, um, pretty much my approach to life, with one tweak: I value my own life, but realize very few other people will, see other women treated like shit too, and it's every.single.day. Whee! This is so much fun.

What's on the menu today? Will it be coworker with a not-so-secret-crush following me home in public transportation when I know full well he lives in a different suburb? Will it be random street harassment? (That one's usually a good bet. Shame you can't actually win anything with those odds.) Or maybe an orange dude spouting off about dum-dum women on an international platform?
posted by fraula at 2:57 AM on August 18, 2016 [6 favorites]

I can't stop laughing, but it's that ugly, drunk-sounding, smeared makeup laugh that scares the cats and the neighbor kids.


I laughed until I cried and then I just kept crying.

Chill Ways is brutal. Fuck.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:17 AM on August 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

So is Fun Summer Cocktails When They Ask You ‘Well, What Were You Drinking?’
Peach Prosecco Punch

This recipe is so simple, fun, and easy to remember! Almost as easy to remember as the horrific details of your assault that you’ve been asked to repeat forwards and backwards with the common follow up question of “Are you sure?”
posted by gladly at 5:37 AM on August 18, 2016 [5 favorites]

I'd like to read some of it to some morons i know and wait to see when (if ever) realization dawns on them...
Thanks, OP
posted by vrittis at 6:28 AM on August 18, 2016

open your mouth and say, “La la la, I have familial and professional responsibilities that will not wait for me to heal, la la la.” Wow—powerful, right?

Works every time! La la la!
posted by Sophie1 at 6:46 AM on August 18, 2016 [5 favorites]

Hehe well played
posted by Joseph Gurl at 8:51 PM on August 18, 2016

It's not part of the current round, but this older article I've seen going around recently is a subtle (subtle?) indictment of the idea of placing all the responsibility for preventing rape on women's shoulders:

How to Keep Your Guy From Removing the Neck Ribbon That Keeps Your Head Tied On.

The Reductress is great.
posted by elsilnora at 9:37 PM on August 18, 2016 [5 favorites]

I had to come back for the article so pithily titled 'Most Women Lie About Rape,’ Says Man Lying About Rape because it encapsulates everything I hate about the social dynamic of that particular canard.

Men who say most women lie about rape ARE LYING.

Every time. It is in itself a lie.

And yet, the way it plays out -- ooh, it gets my goat, it really does. "Sure, says a man lying about rape" is going to be a very useful phrase in my lexicon, I can tell.
posted by E. Whitehall at 3:26 AM on August 19, 2016 [3 favorites]

« Older Somewhere Between A Bottle Of Nail Polish And A...   |   Story of Your Life Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments