Another late night for the scholars of Cyber Alexandria
March 30, 2017 8:32 AM Subscribe
A tale of the year 6099: How Does Goofy Reproduce?
Goofy spends too much of his time goofing off.
posted by lagomorphius at 8:46 AM on March 30, 2017
posted by lagomorphius at 8:46 AM on March 30, 2017
as a child, I saw educational films where Goofy taught me about road safety, skiing, fishing, self-defense, quitting smoking, and other adult human activities. therefore it was no intellectual leap for me to assume that he reproduces by fucking. he fucks like any mammal, people. embrace it and get comfortable with it. it is okay for Goofy to fuck.
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:15 AM on March 30, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:15 AM on March 30, 2017 [7 favorites]
Of course this ignores the famous line from the Mickey v. Mini divorce transcripts: "I didn't say she was crazy, Your Honor, I said she was fucking Goofy."
posted by The Bellman at 9:20 AM on March 30, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by The Bellman at 9:20 AM on March 30, 2017 [8 favorites]
it is okay for Goofy to fuck.
As long as all the Goofy action is accompanied by the appropriate sound effects.
posted by lagomorphius at 9:21 AM on March 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
As long as all the Goofy action is accompanied by the appropriate sound effects.
posted by lagomorphius at 9:21 AM on March 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
WRITER: So, there’s this talking dog, right?
DISNEY EXEC: Go on
WRITER: But get this - he’s young. And he fucks
DISNEY EXEC: [cigar falls out of mouth]
(lovingly ripped off from the original tweet)
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:00 AM on March 30, 2017 [5 favorites]
DISNEY EXEC: Go on
WRITER: But get this - he’s young. And he fucks
DISNEY EXEC: [cigar falls out of mouth]
(lovingly ripped off from the original tweet)
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:00 AM on March 30, 2017 [5 favorites]
how is goofy formed
how is goofy formed
how pluto get pragnent
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:23 AM on March 30, 2017 [3 favorites]
how is goofy formed
how pluto get pragnent
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:23 AM on March 30, 2017 [3 favorites]
A.D. 6099 - coincidentally when Goofy becomes public domain.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 11:25 AM on March 30, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 11:25 AM on March 30, 2017 [9 favorites]
Of course this ignores the famous line from the Mickey v. Mini divorce transcripts: "I didn't say she was crazy, Your Honor, I said she was fucking Goofy."
There's an almost clean, like tell it in front of kids but don't explain it, shaggy-dog version of this joke. Condensed it basically goes:
Mickey is distraught. He thinks Minnie is cheating on him. She's been standoffish and secretive. Mickey turns to his best friend Donald, who also happens to be a PI. Mickey tells Donald he wants to think the best of Minnie, but could Donald shadow her for a couple days and see what she's up to just to reassure him? Donald agrees. A couple days later they meet again. Donald tells Mickey everything seems to be ok with Minnie, she's just been feeling Goofy.
posted by lagomorphius at 12:00 PM on March 30, 2017 [4 favorites]
There's an almost clean, like tell it in front of kids but don't explain it, shaggy-dog version of this joke. Condensed it basically goes:
Mickey is distraught. He thinks Minnie is cheating on him. She's been standoffish and secretive. Mickey turns to his best friend Donald, who also happens to be a PI. Mickey tells Donald he wants to think the best of Minnie, but could Donald shadow her for a couple days and see what she's up to just to reassure him? Donald agrees. A couple days later they meet again. Donald tells Mickey everything seems to be ok with Minnie, she's just been feeling Goofy.
posted by lagomorphius at 12:00 PM on March 30, 2017 [4 favorites]
If you go through Goofy's filmography there are quite a few titles that seem almost certain to be utter filth. From 1932's Whoppee Party through to 2007's How to Hook Up. This is not to mention TV specials such as 'Bronco Buster', 'Wonders of the Deep', 'Workin' Stiff' and 'Roughin' it'. Clearly Goofy is a fuck machine.
posted by biffa at 12:35 PM on March 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by biffa at 12:35 PM on March 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
It's worth noting. Goofy had Goof Troop and Max. Donald got Quack Pack, in which he married (I think) Daisy and the nephews got speech lessons. But Mickey? He never hooked up with Minnie, instead his rhyme-titled Sat Morn showcase was House of Mouse, where he ran a nightclub.
We could take from this:
We could take from this:
- Mickey feels his job precludes him from having time for a relationship.
- Mickey hangs out with Minnie to hide from Disney execs that he's secretly gay.
- Mickey is asexual, having sublimated those urges into his work.
- Mickey gets his rocks off by screwing Final Fantasy girls as he pleases during his visits to the Kingdom Hearts dimension.
Yeah, Mickey seems like he's consumed by his work, Minnie is just so he has someone to bring to corporate dinners. Donald is the fuck machine of the group.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:07 PM on March 30, 2017
posted by Chrysostom at 9:07 PM on March 30, 2017
While I was on the Wedway People Mover I saw Goofy down below freaking on some chick who was dancing to LMFAO so I guess that is how it happens
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 10:50 PM on March 30, 2017
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 10:50 PM on March 30, 2017
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posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:45 AM on March 30, 2017