America made Paulina Porizkova a feminist
June 13, 2017 2:37 PM Subscribe
The American woman is told she can do anything and then is knocked down the moment she proves it. Paulina Porizkova's 850-word NYT opinion piece. via kottke.org
If you're down with P, you're down with me.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 2:43 PM on June 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 2:43 PM on June 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
That is some sucint and powerfull writing.
posted by thegirlwiththehat at 2:46 PM on June 13, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by thegirlwiththehat at 2:46 PM on June 13, 2017 [12 favorites]
One thing I took away from her essay was that US-style patriarchy and control of women's sexuality is not an inevitability, baked into "male nature." Swedish women enjoy equality and respect from men.
And how I wish school nurses in the US could give out free condoms! In so many areas we don't even have school nurses any more! But I'd love to see free condoms dispensed everywhere. Schools, offices, Starbucks lobbies. Need a condom? Grab a handful!
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 3:32 PM on June 13, 2017 [17 favorites]
And how I wish school nurses in the US could give out free condoms! In so many areas we don't even have school nurses any more! But I'd love to see free condoms dispensed everywhere. Schools, offices, Starbucks lobbies. Need a condom? Grab a handful!
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 3:32 PM on June 13, 2017 [17 favorites]
She can flat out write! Very illuminating piece. Makes me want to read her memoir.
posted by mikemacman at 3:48 PM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by mikemacman at 3:48 PM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
Bravo. Very well said.
posted by Bringer Tom at 4:14 PM on June 13, 2017
posted by Bringer Tom at 4:14 PM on June 13, 2017
The only reason women and people of color are still battling for equal rights in America is because of the astounding fragility of the white, male ego. Aided and abetted by the suffocating, puritanical, patriarchal bullshit that is the bedrock of 90% of religions here. Kudos Paulina.
posted by pjsky at 4:52 PM on June 13, 2017 [41 favorites]
posted by pjsky at 4:52 PM on June 13, 2017 [41 favorites]
And the Swedish immigration website crashes...
posted by Jubey at 6:00 PM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Jubey at 6:00 PM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
Always a treat when unexpected depths of a person are revealed. Sad for why they were in this case.
posted by Samizdata at 6:52 PM on June 13, 2017
posted by Samizdata at 6:52 PM on June 13, 2017
From the article:
The whole article is an incredibly tight and insightful piece of writing. All killer, no filler.
posted by mhum at 7:05 PM on June 13, 2017 [44 favorites]
In America, a woman’s body seemed to belong to everybody but herself. Her sexuality belonged to her husband, her opinion of herself belonged to her social circles, and her uterus belonged to the government.[fire emoji repeated many times]
The whole article is an incredibly tight and insightful piece of writing. All killer, no filler.
posted by mhum at 7:05 PM on June 13, 2017 [44 favorites]
"And how I wish school nurses in the US could give out free condoms! In so many areas we don't even have school nurses any more! But I'd love to see free condoms dispensed everywhere. "
We do in Peoria! We also have in-school clinics at the high schools where kids can get routine care, including treatment for STDs, and prenatal care, and the pill. Go to your school board and fight for these things! If only the conservative parents show up, that's the only voice that's heard. The sensible parents with clear-eyed attitudes towards sexuality need to show up too, and often, and noisily.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:38 PM on June 13, 2017 [8 favorites]
We do in Peoria! We also have in-school clinics at the high schools where kids can get routine care, including treatment for STDs, and prenatal care, and the pill. Go to your school board and fight for these things! If only the conservative parents show up, that's the only voice that's heard. The sensible parents with clear-eyed attitudes towards sexuality need to show up too, and often, and noisily.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:38 PM on June 13, 2017 [8 favorites]
Ah hahahah in North Carolina it's illegal to hand out condoms on school property.
posted by raccoon409 at 7:56 PM on June 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by raccoon409 at 7:56 PM on June 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
take Paulina out on the town while her husband worked a recording session
Out of curiosity, I just checked her Wikipedia entry and realized that she and Ric Ocasek have been married since 1989, which makes all other pairings of goofy-looking rockerdude and gorgeous supermodel pale in comparison. If they can make it work for all these years, goshdarnit, so can the rest of us.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:16 PM on June 13, 2017 [7 favorites]
Out of curiosity, I just checked her Wikipedia entry and realized that she and Ric Ocasek have been married since 1989, which makes all other pairings of goofy-looking rockerdude and gorgeous supermodel pale in comparison. If they can make it work for all these years, goshdarnit, so can the rest of us.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:16 PM on June 13, 2017 [7 favorites]
I would be interested to hear from other bicultural swedish/american women...is Sweden really the equality paradise portrayed here? I always took that to be mostly marketing but maybe I'm wrong?
posted by The Toad at 9:52 PM on June 13, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by The Toad at 9:52 PM on June 13, 2017 [5 favorites]
Out of curiosity, I just checked her Wikipedia entry and realized that she and Ric Ocasek have been married since 1989
The great thing is that there was no indication this would be a lasting thing at the time.
I actually look that up every 5 years or so just so I can go "STILL?"
posted by bongo_x at 10:13 PM on June 13, 2017 [6 favorites]
The great thing is that there was no indication this would be a lasting thing at the time.
I actually look that up every 5 years or so just so I can go "STILL?"
posted by bongo_x at 10:13 PM on June 13, 2017 [6 favorites]
Not only that, I clearly remember seeing the two of them together at the movie theater I worked at in 1986. (8th street playhouse in NYC, it was underneath Electric Ladyland where the Cars were recording) Such a good essay!
posted by asavage at 10:24 PM on June 13, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by asavage at 10:24 PM on June 13, 2017 [3 favorites]
@The Toad: I (American) just returned from visiting my cousins in Sweden and they seemed flabbergasted by a lot of -isms in America. From my point of view (as a male), my cousin told me she had a very equal marriage and equal experiences as a woman there, but definitely had a VERY good understanding of emotional labor inequities that I have mostly only seen on this site.
posted by gucci mane at 10:48 PM on June 13, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by gucci mane at 10:48 PM on June 13, 2017 [5 favorites]
(Feel free to delete my comment if I'm totally off-base for answering it I'm super embarrassed for doing so)
posted by gucci mane at 10:53 PM on June 13, 2017
posted by gucci mane at 10:53 PM on June 13, 2017
is Sweden really the equality paradise portrayed here?
I'm an Australian man living in Sweden with a Swedish woman, and it's certainly much closer to paradise than Australia or America are. Many fundamental feminist principles make up the foundation of society here, and the vast majority of men and women would be bemused by the idea that they're 'progressive' or 'radical' - equality is simply how it should be. There are certainly ongoing struggles though, and it's not at all like the feminist fight is over.
A few things that come to mind for me:
- Very generous parental leave comes with a stipulation that men take part of it, so it's very common to see men out during the day with their babies, taking care of all parenting, etc. I very rarely see men walking their babies during the day in Australia, and there it would be seen as a feminine act
- I've never seen or heard of anyone (male or female) being judged negatively for being feminist.
- The Swedish men I've met are happy to call themselves feminist, and even in groups with no women present I've never heard anyone objectifty or demean women.
- People will happily talk openly about equality, and if there is anything that can be done to improve accessibility to other groups. These discussions don't just happen in special activist or political groups.
- People seem much more free to express themselves, whether in fundamental ways (gender, sexuality, etc) or simply things like women not shaving, or men dressing more feminine, etc.
All that being said, I think Australian and American media like to pick Scandinavia as an example of a progressive utopia without examining the ongoing struggles and movements that are taking place. In Sweden there appears to be a slow halting/reversal of some of the major progressive leaps forward that have taken place over the last few decades. There are certainly right wing groups that are getting more popular, as well as feminist struggles (against the pay gap, or unrealistic standards for women) that are ongoing.
posted by twirlypen at 1:16 AM on June 14, 2017 [29 favorites]
I'm an Australian man living in Sweden with a Swedish woman, and it's certainly much closer to paradise than Australia or America are. Many fundamental feminist principles make up the foundation of society here, and the vast majority of men and women would be bemused by the idea that they're 'progressive' or 'radical' - equality is simply how it should be. There are certainly ongoing struggles though, and it's not at all like the feminist fight is over.
A few things that come to mind for me:
- Very generous parental leave comes with a stipulation that men take part of it, so it's very common to see men out during the day with their babies, taking care of all parenting, etc. I very rarely see men walking their babies during the day in Australia, and there it would be seen as a feminine act
- I've never seen or heard of anyone (male or female) being judged negatively for being feminist.
- The Swedish men I've met are happy to call themselves feminist, and even in groups with no women present I've never heard anyone objectifty or demean women.
- People will happily talk openly about equality, and if there is anything that can be done to improve accessibility to other groups. These discussions don't just happen in special activist or political groups.
- People seem much more free to express themselves, whether in fundamental ways (gender, sexuality, etc) or simply things like women not shaving, or men dressing more feminine, etc.
All that being said, I think Australian and American media like to pick Scandinavia as an example of a progressive utopia without examining the ongoing struggles and movements that are taking place. In Sweden there appears to be a slow halting/reversal of some of the major progressive leaps forward that have taken place over the last few decades. There are certainly right wing groups that are getting more popular, as well as feminist struggles (against the pay gap, or unrealistic standards for women) that are ongoing.
posted by twirlypen at 1:16 AM on June 14, 2017 [29 favorites]
That was a good read, because of the perspective of a European immigrant, and also because it's nice to hear from an intelligent person who has maintained their youthful idealism and honesty as they mature.
posted by Artful Codger at 4:17 AM on June 14, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Artful Codger at 4:17 AM on June 14, 2017 [1 favorite]
Out of curiosity, I just checked her Wikipedia entry and realized that she and Ric Ocasek have been married since 1989
When she was on The Colbert Report, at Stephen's invitation the camera panned over to show Ric standing guard just off stage. :) As I recall, Ric later helped Stephen hunt for Nazi gold.
Aiee, back when we could joke about Nazis....
posted by Mogur at 7:29 AM on June 14, 2017 [1 favorite]
When she was on The Colbert Report, at Stephen's invitation the camera panned over to show Ric standing guard just off stage. :) As I recall, Ric later helped Stephen hunt for Nazi gold.
Aiee, back when we could joke about Nazis....
posted by Mogur at 7:29 AM on June 14, 2017 [1 favorite]
Paulina is a thoughtful person. There was another essay of hers, or perhaps an interview, where she talked about coming to grips with aging from the perspective of someone whose "value" was seen in being young and beautiful, mentioned here a few years back, wasn't there?
posted by maxwelton at 10:19 AM on June 14, 2017
posted by maxwelton at 10:19 AM on June 14, 2017
On the old Colbert show's site at Comedy Central, a video page for the interview with Porizkova has a "friend of the show" keyword. The same is true of pretty much every page for a video with Ocasek, but I'd like to think it refers to both. He was one of the many notables on the show's celebrated finale.
posted by raysmj at 1:01 PM on June 14, 2017
posted by raysmj at 1:01 PM on June 14, 2017
Octavia Saint Laurent expounding on Paulina as her model for feminine power in Paris Is Burning.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 4:21 PM on June 14, 2017
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 4:21 PM on June 14, 2017
> I'm an Australian man living in Sweden
I'm an Australian man living in Australia. A real man, too. Kindly don't paint us all with the same brush?
> - I very rarely see men walking their babies during the day in Australia, and there it would be seen as a feminine act
Maybe among some, but not me, nor my friends. I'm proud of my bubs, proud of my wife, and if that makes me feminine then tell me where to sign up.
Sure, you can always invoke the neanderthals, but who wants to compare themselves to the lowest common denominator?
posted by Sutekh at 9:14 PM on June 14, 2017
I'm an Australian man living in Australia. A real man, too. Kindly don't paint us all with the same brush?
> - I very rarely see men walking their babies during the day in Australia, and there it would be seen as a feminine act
Maybe among some, but not me, nor my friends. I'm proud of my bubs, proud of my wife, and if that makes me feminine then tell me where to sign up.
Sure, you can always invoke the neanderthals, but who wants to compare themselves to the lowest common denominator?
posted by Sutekh at 9:14 PM on June 14, 2017
I really enjoyed the article. It seems to me though that Sweden made her a feminist and the US had her use the title. I am definitely going to check out her book
posted by biggreenplant at 3:45 AM on June 15, 2017
posted by biggreenplant at 3:45 AM on June 15, 2017
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posted by bz at 2:43 PM on June 13, 2017 [10 favorites]