Feeling the mood of the room

June 26, 2017 12:48 PM

Research has increasingly shown that emotions are contagious. Emotional or affective contagion has been found between mothers and infants [pdf]; in social networks, where moral outrage increases the spread of ideas by 20%; and especially at work. The emotions of a team member can impact the entire team, changing both attitudes and performance. Do you have negative people around you? Two methods to stop negative contagion that seem to work: be calm, as serenity is one of the most contagious emotions, or else ignore them, as attention is critical to the spread of emotions.
posted by blahblahblah (26 comments total)

I have started sobbing at funerals of people I've never met, to the point of having to excuse myself, because the family is crying.
posted by AFABulous at 12:54 PM on June 26, 2017 [7 favorites]

This is great, thanks - part of my job involves educating people who care for people with dementia and we've been spending larger amounts of time discussing emotional contagion as an important part of the job. Great to have some more detail to share.
posted by nubs at 1:00 PM on June 26, 2017 [4 favorites]

"I have a strict rule that nobody cries alone in my presence." (Dolly Parton in Steel Magnolias)
posted by Melismata at 1:07 PM on June 26, 2017 [14 favorites]

AFABulous: I have started sobbing at funerals of people I've never met, to the point of having to excuse myself, because the family is crying.

Oh god, me too, to the point that I've worried it's looking like the deceased had a secret weird mistress.
posted by carbide at 2:12 PM on June 26, 2017 [21 favorites]

Feeling the mood of the room

so does the internet classify as a room?
posted by philip-random at 2:20 PM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]

The internet is morphing into something that doesn't leave much room for creative writing.
posted by saulgoodman at 2:23 PM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]

My first thought is that this is how Television Without Pity forums worked.
posted by ZeusHumms at 3:03 PM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]

What is new in this. The idea of help groups has been around for years.
It has also been known that mobs (ie groups of people) act as one person very quickly.
posted by Burn_IT at 3:16 PM on June 26, 2017

> What is new in this.

https://xkcd.com/1053/
posted by I-Write-Essays at 3:52 PM on June 26, 2017 [3 favorites]

What's new?

This isn't about mobs, this is about the rather subtle spread of affective mood among people in even regular office settings. Previously, mood had been thought of in organizational and business settings as an individual thing that gets in the way of work, this new line of research shows that emotion is very much at the heart of many aspects of work. Over the past 10 years, we have learned that moods are indeed contagious, that the contagion happens through attention, and that attempts to run groups or organizations while ignoring emotion are therefore likely to suffer serious negative consequences. We have also begun to learn what kinds of emotional states transmit to others and why, including subtle stuff the way in which the moods of managers and leaders affect organizations, and can even increase malfeasance and unethical behavior. We know that groups in good moods make fairer decisions towards others, and that mood effects can last for extended periods of time. And these effects are generally replicable, significant, and measurable.

I think there is a lot that is new!
posted by blahblahblah at 4:01 PM on June 26, 2017 [26 favorites]

One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard for leadership is to "be the calm, non-existent presence in the room."
posted by dbmcd at 4:38 PM on June 26, 2017 [6 favorites]

Is this the source of the unending demand that I be cheerful as a project manager?*

*that and sexism.
posted by amanda at 4:59 PM on June 26, 2017 [10 favorites]

When I was the manager of a coffee shop, I always told my shift supervisors (who were all young adults) that their mood set the tone for the shifts they ran, more than anything else. That was over 15 years ago. Nice to be validated.
posted by twilightlost at 5:30 PM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]

How do I balance the contagious properties of mood with my own emotional needs? As a child I had a legitimate reason to be sad, and adults assumed the right to demand that I be happy. This turned my simple grief into an alienated anxiety, doing my best to pretend I didn't have the feelings that others didn't want to deal with. Are we obligated to only have our real feelings behind closed doors? Perhaps the cultural value we place on authenticity is destructive, and we would be better off with a shallow and rote public life? Or maybe sad people have an obligation to avoid company to avoid hurting others? The idea of collectivizing emotion brings a lot of ideas I find extremely unpleasant.
posted by idiopath at 7:09 PM on June 26, 2017 [19 favorites]

I see where you're coming from, idiopath. I can see how the tendency to collectively avoid unpleasantness could lead towards a very Brave New World type of social pressure to pep up, take this soma, be pleasant and compliant. I understand your apprehension.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 8:01 PM on June 26, 2017 [1 favorite]

For what it is worth, there is a discussion of emotional labor (in another sense than how MeFi uses it) in the "work" link above. I think there is a trade-off here. On one hand, the idea that emotion is contagious may make the pressure to seem positive and pleasant at work greater than it is today (though in customer facing roles, that would be hard). On the other hand, recognizing that emotion at work is real and genuine and has impact also opens and potentially destigmatizes the work discussion to include elements of emotional health, such as the burn-out faced by empathetic caregivers that is discussed in the final link in the FPP. Also, evidence is that faked optimism is not as good as realistic optimism, for example, suggests there is more nuance here than might be initially expected. In any case, I think the fact that emotion is recognized as a real factor in management is net positive, but there are downsides.
posted by blahblahblah at 8:40 PM on June 26, 2017 [1 favorite]

I think the deeper point is that the conception that workplace emotion is something to be managed is a form of tone argument in service of oppression of labor (from "you're being emotional" to "thus your concerns are invalid" does not follow). It's the entire framing of it that's suspect; it allows the discourse to avoid issues like alienation, conformity, legitimacy, authenticity, etc. Tamsin Shaw wrote a critique of more general kinds of behavioralist psychology, with the concern of how those discoveries have been exploited for social propaganda, and situating either the PNAS paper or the folk idea of an emotional contagion model (the social issue being how do you justify a particular application of an interpretation of this model) besides/against that sort of critique makes a lot of sense to me.
posted by polymodus at 9:10 PM on June 26, 2017

Or maybe sad people have an obligation to avoid company to avoid hurting others?

Tbh, most people do tend to retreat in sadness, and all but the closest or most empathetic naturally shy away from pervasively and ongoingly sad people. So from the group POV, it's usually a kind of self-limiting problem, as far as I can tell. (Excepting copycat suicides, etc.). Often, that is if circumstances permit, there is some strong-enough positive personality pulling everyone else to the mean. (Not so when whole communities have been systematically devastated on multiple axes over time, ofc, as has happened in some First Nations communities, sadly... And there are good and non-individualistic reasons most people in Western/Northern nations experience depression at least once in their lifetimes)

But for like an individual in a less dire set of circumstances, as far as

How do I balance the contagious properties of mood with my own emotional needs?

It's fine to ask for help, and it's good (for all kinds of reasons, i.e. keeping friendships equitable) to spread the (totally justifiable and important, necessary) help-seeking around, if possible. Maybe good to try to notice if you're dipping into the same well quite often. & to communicate & ask for feedback wrt boundaries crossed.

Negative emotions are useful indicators (to yourself and others) that something is wrong, and that something must be done to respond to that wrongness. (Honestly though, I think whether anyone's in a position to actually do that in a constructive way is down to luck, more often than not.)

Do we have an obligation to manage ourselves when we're in pain? Even when circumstances way bigger than us are actually dire? At the risk of sounding victim-blamey (contra the risk of denying human agency), maybe a little, I think, to the degree we can. There are small things we can do that make a difference (curating moods [if not full emotions] with music, fitness, sleep, etc.)

Ultimately that's got to be balanced by a responsibility on the part of the community to respond. (If it's not broken... But again it's down to luck, though. When it comes down to it. (Man, sometimes, I cannot get out of the is to get to the ought when the ought's what ought to be noticed. Bit indulgent here, sorry.)
posted by cotton dress sock at 10:01 PM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]

Are we obligated to only have our real feelings behind closed doors? Perhaps the cultural value we place on authenticity is destructive, and we would be better off with a shallow and rote public life? Or maybe sad people have an obligation to avoid company to avoid hurting others?

I dunno, maybe somewhat?

Lord, this whole topic has been going on at my work for most of the last year and it's been a fucking picnic.

My best guess on this one is, don't inflict your misery on others. It's one thing to be quietly unhappy in the corner, it's quite another to decide to harass your coworkers, or complain nonstop, or throw a screaming shit fit, or otherwise force everyone around you to deal with your upset and unhappy, especially if you do those things kind of a lot.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:34 PM on June 26, 2017 [6 favorites]

Behavior like that isn't just a contagious emotion though - that's actively treating other people like shit. Maybe I'm making a distinction others aren't though?
posted by idiopath at 11:15 PM on June 26, 2017 [1 favorite]

> How do I balance the contagious properties of mood with my own emotional needs? As a child I had a legitimate reason to be sad, and adults assumed the right to demand that I be happy. This turned my simple grief into an alienated anxiety, doing my best to pretend I didn't have the feelings that others didn't want to deal with. Are we obligated to only have our real feelings behind closed doors? Perhaps the cultural value we place on authenticity is destructive, and we would be better off with a shallow and rote public life? Or maybe sad people have an obligation to avoid company to avoid hurting others? The idea of collectivizing emotion brings a lot of ideas I find extremely unpleasant.

I think the crux of the matter is that, ultimately, no matter how much we're told otherwise, we are not obligated to make others happy. We must think of our emotions as being things that are both fully ours and fully social, and put our (real) emotional responses to work toward our real, personally desired social ends. To, in short, be the change we'd like to see in the world — rather than just being people-pleasers.

People-pleasing through displaying happiness/serene contentment is, certainly, how you become most profitable as a worker. This does not mean that it is in our interest to display these affects. This disconnect between our real interests and the culturally inculcated tendency to want to please people higher than us in social hierarchies is maybe what's generating your sense of this matter being "extremely unpleasant."

Although there is tremendous pressure to become as profitable as possible, perhaps we could use these findings about the contagious properties of mood to our own ends, rather than to the boss's. Maybe instead of performing the boss-directed emotional labor of productivity-enhancing serenity, we should, insofar as we can, perform agitation; anger at the bosses, disgust toward the customers, dissatisfaction at the whole damn dirty business of having to work for wages.

Maybe contagious moods can thereby be used to leverage individual discontent into collective agitation into collective action. We could weaponize our feelings against our employers, instead of suppressing our feelings in order to become more profitable to our employers.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 11:18 PM on June 26, 2017 [8 favorites]

Perhaps the third method not mentioned in the OP is to give each other some emotional support?
posted by walrus at 12:52 AM on June 27, 2017 [4 favorites]

AFABulous: I have started sobbing at funerals of people I've never met, to the point of having to excuse myself, because the family is crying.

I goddamned balled at a friend's father's funeral last year. Balled my eyes out then I picked them up and balled some more. A funeral is licence to cry until there's no crying left. I'm glad no one vomited because then I would have been chucking and crying and chucking and crying. I balled so much the funeral dog* had to make many return trips to comfort me.

*My town is blessed with the best funeral director/celebrant who brings her dog if asked. The dog understands grief and plonks his gorgeous labrador chin in your lap for you to pat and cuddle him for a bit, then he moves on when he thinks you'll be okay for awhile.
posted by Thella at 3:02 AM on June 27, 2017 [4 favorites]

Burn_IT:  >What is new in this

To be worthy of attention, of discussion, must something be "new" ? Won't "interesting" suffice?

This question itself might not even merit consideration, as it (and/or the one about the meaning, the relevant definition, of "new") is hardly new. 
posted by Green-eyed grenade at 7:56 AM on June 27, 2017

Behavior like that isn't just a contagious emotion though - that's actively treating other people like shit. Maybe I'm making a distinction others aren't though?

Maybe? If someone in my office is angry or sad and just sits and does their work, they don't have much of an impact on me. It's when they start sucking their teeth, slamming drawers, ranting, etc., that I start to feel negative as well.

Yeah, that. Also, some people, when they are feeling like shit for whatever reason, start feeling better about themselves when they start treating someone else like shit. That's a contagious emotion for ya. A happy person probably doesn't want to make sure you know how horrible you are as a human being that day, but an unhappy one who's already inclined to sharing their misery...
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:20 PM on June 27, 2017

I was reading this thread and switched over to facebook where the very first post was someone who was upset because of an encounter with a colleague who she realized was upset about their own work and life but took it out on her. She's trying to be calm but it lowered her morale.
posted by maggiemaggie at 8:55 AM on June 28, 2017