and then secondly being able to open my throat
November 2, 2017 10:42 PM Subscribe
Canadian runner breaks beer mile world record “I guess you could say I’m living every student athletes’ dream,” he said with a laugh. Corey Bellemore breaks (his own) world record for the beer mile.
Hoping MetaFilter’s resident drunks come out of the woodwork for this one in the comments, and I mean not the ones with beer opinions but the light-rail brown paper-baggers, who know their way around a little emboldened stupidity that leads to achievements like this. This is our year, more than ever.
posted by invitapriore at 10:54 PM on November 2, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by invitapriore at 10:54 PM on November 2, 2017 [8 favorites]
The beer mile is my second-favorite really stupid mile, coming in just behind the burpee mile.
posted by The Tensor at 11:00 PM on November 2, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by The Tensor at 11:00 PM on November 2, 2017 [2 favorites]
The beer mile is my second-favorite really stupid mile, coming in just behind the burpee mile.
Lane 1: No Rep
Lane 2: No Rep
Lane 3: No Rep
Lane 4: No Rep.
C'mon, people, we gotta have standards for our dumb stunts!
posted by madajb at 11:36 PM on November 2, 2017
Lane 1: No Rep
Lane 2: No Rep
Lane 3: No Rep
Lane 4: No Rep.
C'mon, people, we gotta have standards for our dumb stunts!
posted by madajb at 11:36 PM on November 2, 2017
I'm optimistic that eventually somebody will run a sub-4 minute beer mile and a sub-400 calorie lite beer mile.
posted by peeedro at 11:52 PM on November 2, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by peeedro at 11:52 PM on November 2, 2017 [3 favorites]
The beer mile is my second-favorite really stupid mile
Back in the day I won a bet by running a backwards mile, but to my dismay this doesn't seem to be a commonly contested event. As you might guess, though, the bet was conceived with beer and the stakes were paid in beer; so, it was a race of a similar, er, spirit.
posted by egregious theorem at 12:20 AM on November 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
Back in the day I won a bet by running a backwards mile, but to my dismay this doesn't seem to be a commonly contested event. As you might guess, though, the bet was conceived with beer and the stakes were paid in beer; so, it was a race of a similar, er, spirit.
posted by egregious theorem at 12:20 AM on November 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
I love the beer mile. Combines two of my favorite things. I have been trying to organize one among friends, but while they all share my passion for beer, none of them want to get behind the mile part.
posted by Literaryhero at 1:24 AM on November 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Literaryhero at 1:24 AM on November 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
When I was university we kind of invented this out of whole cloth... though the rules were slightly different... it was part of charity race and 'cross country' (ie through a park) and a lot longer than a mile. We drank 4-6 tins each - there were three of us doing it - and we carried the beer around with is in a crate. It a rather hot day and we were in a bit of state by the time we finished.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:55 AM on November 3, 2017
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:55 AM on November 3, 2017
The secret is to follow a systematic beer drinking training program.
posted by srboisvert at 5:36 AM on November 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 5:36 AM on November 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
This is exactly the dumb sort of thing I might do. I'd never be a contender for the world beer mile record today, but I used to pull down 5:30 and 5:40s as a 250+ pound wookie, which is pretty damn fast for a fatass. This might explain why my knees hate me today.
There's also the Hash House Harriers groups, aka drinkers with a running problem.
However, there's something even dumber than a beer mile and it's called the nitrous lap. Contenders inhale one whippet bulb (or more, contender's choice) from an appropriate dispenser and then sprint a quarter mile lap around a standard track. Race time begins as soon as the contestants attempt to assemble their combination of nitrous bulb and dispenser.
Assuming the contender does not simply fall over or meander entirely off course, what happens is that sometimes someone is superhumanly fast on a nitrous lap through some weird combination of focus, state of optimal flow and being fairly well anesthetized and feeling no pain. Or maybe it's a cartoonish belief that if it works for cars...
But I've seen approximately 60 second nitrous laps from people who have absolutely no business running 60 second laps.
posted by loquacious at 5:46 AM on November 3, 2017 [10 favorites]
There's also the Hash House Harriers groups, aka drinkers with a running problem.
However, there's something even dumber than a beer mile and it's called the nitrous lap. Contenders inhale one whippet bulb (or more, contender's choice) from an appropriate dispenser and then sprint a quarter mile lap around a standard track. Race time begins as soon as the contestants attempt to assemble their combination of nitrous bulb and dispenser.
Assuming the contender does not simply fall over or meander entirely off course, what happens is that sometimes someone is superhumanly fast on a nitrous lap through some weird combination of focus, state of optimal flow and being fairly well anesthetized and feeling no pain. Or maybe it's a cartoonish belief that if it works for cars...
But I've seen approximately 60 second nitrous laps from people who have absolutely no business running 60 second laps.
posted by loquacious at 5:46 AM on November 3, 2017 [10 favorites]
I've a friend who regularly runs the beer mile in Ottawa--she's a triathlete and a beer aficionado--and her only complaint is that it's usually really awful beer you have to drink. She said this year at least a couple of local breweries donated decent beer so it was a bit better. I'd love to do one myself!
(At least Corey got to drink Flying Monkeys! That is good beer.)
And you can thank Kingston, Ontario--likely Queen's University itself--for the first set of public rules for the Beer Mile, aka "the Kingston rules."
posted by Kitteh at 5:53 AM on November 3, 2017
(At least Corey got to drink Flying Monkeys! That is good beer.)
And you can thank Kingston, Ontario--likely Queen's University itself--for the first set of public rules for the Beer Mile, aka "the Kingston rules."
posted by Kitteh at 5:53 AM on November 3, 2017
One of my wife's best friends was on the track team at Queen's back in the day and did a few beer miles. I feel a bit nauseous when I try to imagine what it must feel like to tough out the last lap with four beers sloshing around inside your gut.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:03 AM on November 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:03 AM on November 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
Ha! Speak of the devil, my friend just texted me asking if I wanted in on her ladies crew running a 5K beer run in Calabogie. Yes, but oh man, I don't want to potentially barf in front of people...
posted by Kitteh at 6:37 AM on November 3, 2017
posted by Kitteh at 6:37 AM on November 3, 2017
Speaking of barfing, you know what would be a really truly terrible idea?
A milky mile. One gallon milk challenge + a mile run in any order or combination. Contestant must carry the gallon of milk, though, so saving it for the end might not be the best strategy.
Also, the race isn't over when the mile is done and the milk is gone. At the end of the mile and the gallon of milk, the clock starts ticking in reverse. First person to puke loses the most points, last person to puke loses the least points. If no one pukes before 30 minutes are up, the fastest accumulated time for mile + gallon of milk wins.
Next up: The Badwater Ultramarathon whiskey and mescaline challenge.
posted by loquacious at 7:25 AM on November 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
A milky mile. One gallon milk challenge + a mile run in any order or combination. Contestant must carry the gallon of milk, though, so saving it for the end might not be the best strategy.
Also, the race isn't over when the mile is done and the milk is gone. At the end of the mile and the gallon of milk, the clock starts ticking in reverse. First person to puke loses the most points, last person to puke loses the least points. If no one pukes before 30 minutes are up, the fastest accumulated time for mile + gallon of milk wins.
Next up: The Badwater Ultramarathon whiskey and mescaline challenge.
posted by loquacious at 7:25 AM on November 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
4:33.6.
The first recorded world records for the regular mile, in the 1850s, were 4:28.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 7:28 AM on November 3, 2017
The first recorded world records for the regular mile, in the 1850s, were 4:28.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 7:28 AM on November 3, 2017
I think I have told this before, but: In the 90s I was (among other things) a courier dispatcher in downtown Boston. One summer night I was invited to the Naked Alley Races being held outside the entrance to the basement offices of a nearby courier company (between Arlington and Berkeley, between Boylston & Newbury Street, a.k.a. Public Alley 438).
Tons of couriers from all over the city showed up in their sweaty, black clothes to drinks our hosts' beer and to huff nitrous from black plastic trash bags. (You could choose either or both; I took just a red Solo cup, thanks.)
As the evening wore on and the daylight failed there were tame -- i.e., fully dressed -- races, with volunteers wandering out into the traffic to hold up a roll of toilet paper as a finishing line. But once the gas & suds really took hold of the riders, a few stripped down to just their little shoes and one tube sock, à la the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and raced the length of the alley. They burst onto Arlington Street in a swirl of honking cabs and stunned tourists looking for the bar from "Cheers," AND IT WAS GLORIOUS.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:54 AM on November 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
Tons of couriers from all over the city showed up in their sweaty, black clothes to drinks our hosts' beer and to huff nitrous from black plastic trash bags. (You could choose either or both; I took just a red Solo cup, thanks.)
As the evening wore on and the daylight failed there were tame -- i.e., fully dressed -- races, with volunteers wandering out into the traffic to hold up a roll of toilet paper as a finishing line. But once the gas & suds really took hold of the riders, a few stripped down to just their little shoes and one tube sock, à la the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and raced the length of the alley. They burst onto Arlington Street in a swirl of honking cabs and stunned tourists looking for the bar from "Cheers," AND IT WAS GLORIOUS.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:54 AM on November 3, 2017 [4 favorites]
I applaud this example of human spirit(s).
I went to Queen's back in the day and can confirm this is ingrained in their sports culture. What I found charming as a rookie being hazed was that they also had shots of vinegar and pints of chocolate milk available for those who were up for hazing but not down for drinking alcohol.
posted by LegallyBread at 8:06 AM on November 3, 2017
I went to Queen's back in the day and can confirm this is ingrained in their sports culture. What I found charming as a rookie being hazed was that they also had shots of vinegar and pints of chocolate milk available for those who were up for hazing but not down for drinking alcohol.
posted by LegallyBread at 8:06 AM on November 3, 2017
> her only complaint is that it's usually really awful beer you have to drink. She said this year at least a couple of local breweries donated decent beer so it was a bit better.
One major advantage of the bland megabrews would be the lightness and lower alcohol content, no? Most of the small breweries - though I do love them - make their beer heavy and high in alcohol, both of which would impede performance, so to speak.
posted by ardgedee at 8:20 AM on November 3, 2017
One major advantage of the bland megabrews would be the lightness and lower alcohol content, no? Most of the small breweries - though I do love them - make their beer heavy and high in alcohol, both of which would impede performance, so to speak.
posted by ardgedee at 8:20 AM on November 3, 2017
Well, a lot of craft breweries are venturing into making pilsners/lagers and other milder styles with low ABV, so there shouldn't be a reason anymore you can't get a decent beer for these things.
posted by Kitteh at 8:23 AM on November 3, 2017
posted by Kitteh at 8:23 AM on November 3, 2017
Other events I'd like to see:
day-old-chowder high jump
chess marathon
pop-rocks-and-root-beer 100m hurdles
posted by zippy at 8:59 AM on November 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
day-old-chowder high jump
chess marathon
pop-rocks-and-root-beer 100m hurdles
posted by zippy at 8:59 AM on November 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
chess marathon
There is chess boxing.
And: "Alan Turing is said to have invented a game that combines chess and middle-distance running. It goes like this: You make your move, then you run around the house, and the other player has to make his or her move before you return to your seat."
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:03 PM on November 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
There is chess boxing.
And: "Alan Turing is said to have invented a game that combines chess and middle-distance running. It goes like this: You make your move, then you run around the house, and the other player has to make his or her move before you return to your seat."
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:03 PM on November 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
I love the beer mile; I think it shows how far we've come since the 1904 Olympic Marathon (previously on the Blue) in making running events both spectacle and challenge.
posted by nubs at 12:40 PM on November 3, 2017
posted by nubs at 12:40 PM on November 3, 2017
However, there's something even dumber than a beer mile and it's called the nitrous lap.
#mylifesmissionisrevealed #braincells-say-WAT #crossfitshmossfit
posted by lalochezia at 5:09 PM on November 3, 2017
#mylifesmissionisrevealed #braincells-say-WAT #crossfitshmossfit
posted by lalochezia at 5:09 PM on November 3, 2017
Well, a lot of craft breweries are venturing into making pilsners/lagers and other milder styles with low ABV, so there shouldn't be a reason anymore you can't get a decent beer for these things.
You are chugging a beer as fast as you possibly can. I think it is a waste to use good beer here. Slug 4 Coors Lights and save the good beer for the post race celebration.
posted by Literaryhero at 5:27 PM on November 3, 2017
You are chugging a beer as fast as you possibly can. I think it is a waste to use good beer here. Slug 4 Coors Lights and save the good beer for the post race celebration.
posted by Literaryhero at 5:27 PM on November 3, 2017
The rules say the beer has to be at least 5% ABV, crappy or craft.
posted by batter_my_heart at 5:45 PM on November 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by batter_my_heart at 5:45 PM on November 3, 2017 [1 favorite]
[VOICEOVER]
"In a world without heroes...ONE MAN makes a stand."
posted by Chrysostom at 7:10 PM on November 3, 2017
"In a world without heroes...ONE MAN makes a stand."
posted by Chrysostom at 7:10 PM on November 3, 2017
If you wanted to try to hack the rules I'd start by drinking the beer with the least carbonation to reduce the volume of CO2 you're trying to belch back up and amount of foam sloshing around in your tummy.
As a baseline, everything brewed by AB-InBev is carbonated at 2.7 v/v (according to the internet) it might be best to look for an ESB or Scottish Export to get the lowest CO2 volume at an abv above 5%.
posted by peeedro at 7:21 PM on November 3, 2017
As a baseline, everything brewed by AB-InBev is carbonated at 2.7 v/v (according to the internet) it might be best to look for an ESB or Scottish Export to get the lowest CO2 volume at an abv above 5%.
posted by peeedro at 7:21 PM on November 3, 2017
Wow, aside from all the beer jokes, watching the race I’m just impressed at how he just frigging creamed everyone else. I expected someone to be within a thirty seconds of him at the 1200 at least and it’s not like he’s that much faster a chugger.
It’s also impressive to think, if he had cultuivated this talent a 100 years ago he could be legit winning national level meets while chugging a beer.
posted by midmarch snowman at 8:36 PM on November 3, 2017
It’s also impressive to think, if he had cultuivated this talent a 100 years ago he could be legit winning national level meets while chugging a beer.
posted by midmarch snowman at 8:36 PM on November 3, 2017
I could swear that I read years ago about someone doing a beer half marathon, and getting totally off course and lost in not great parts of town. Oakland, CA, I think?
posted by Chrysostom at 11:14 PM on November 3, 2017
posted by Chrysostom at 11:14 PM on November 3, 2017
I can't wait for the Beer Indy 500
posted by zippy at 2:12 PM on November 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by zippy at 2:12 PM on November 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
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