No. Not Possible.
November 14, 2017 1:12 PM   Subscribe

 
...one day he leaves work early to surprise his wife at home, and when he walks into the bedroom, he finds her and the town’s sheriff engaged in a non-sexual tryst that involves dressing up in plush costumes. These characters are played by Christina Hendricks and Ron Perlman...


...Thomas Lennon, Ron Perlman, and Ian McShane are basically just running through the woods looking for Bigfoot, and yes I do realize how weird it is that I’m writing that off as “kind of nothing,” especially considering this whole thing started with Michael Shannon getting ripped on moonshine after discovering Christina Hendricks in a full-body rabbit costume, but that’s the canoe we’re all in here, so we might as well keep paddling.


Shut up and take my money!
posted by nubs at 1:21 PM on November 14, 2017 [3 favorites]


Was totally expecting this to take place in the George Bailey-free alternate timeline from It's a Wonderful Life.

Why the hell did this not take place in the George Bailey-free alternate timeline from It's a Wonderful Life? It's actually called Pottersville!
posted by Naberius at 1:23 PM on November 14, 2017 [40 favorites]



Why the hell did this not take place in the George Bailey-free alternate timeline from It's a Wonderful Life?


Maybe it does, and that's why Bigfoot is needed to save Christmas. Makes you think.
posted by nubs at 1:25 PM on November 14, 2017 [14 favorites]


On the basis of that article I can only conclude that this is somehow a stealth project from Eric Wareheim and Tim Heidecker.
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 1:25 PM on November 14, 2017 [6 favorites]


So, Netflix, you need to fund MST3K Season 12, because I think we just found the Christmas episode.
posted by stevis23 at 1:25 PM on November 14, 2017 [15 favorites]


Nothing makes me think, nubs. Nothing.

Buy honestly, how did they get all these people to be in this movie? Michael Shannon was in Take Shelter, for fuck's sake? Did they all lose a bet?
posted by Naberius at 1:33 PM on November 14, 2017 [3 favorites]


I haven't even seen this and yet I think it's already my favourite Christmas movie.
posted by haruspicina at 1:33 PM on November 14, 2017 [8 favorites]


One thing the article doesn't make clear - does he leave rabbit-costume-wearing Christina Hendricks for Judy Greer? Or does his Bigfoot cosplay save the marriage? I mean, I suspect it doesn't, but I'm curious.
posted by nubs at 1:34 PM on November 14, 2017


It really says something about the craziness that "It takes place in the forsaken dystopia from It's A Wonderful Life" doesn't even rate a mention in the article.
posted by ckape at 1:38 PM on November 14, 2017 [4 favorites]


I mean, Christina Hendricks and Ron Perlman in full-body animal costumes makes me curious in a lot of ways I never really thought about before, but I'm curious about the plot of the movie here in this moment.
posted by nubs at 1:39 PM on November 14, 2017 [2 favorites]


Wing and a Prayer Pictures is Ron Perlman's production company, so I've got to believe this is an R.P. passion project.
posted by muddgirl at 1:49 PM on November 14, 2017 [4 favorites]


Wing and a Prayer Pictures is Ron Perlman's production company, so I've got to believe this is an R.P. passion project.

With support from executive producer Patricia Hearst.
posted by Iridic at 1:52 PM on November 14, 2017 [3 favorites]


... Christina Hendricks and Ron Perlman in full-body animal costumes makes me curious in a lot of ways I never really thought about before ...

This better not awaken anything in me.

On-topic: Brian Grubb is in fact well-qualified to expound upon bizarre entertainment, if only because of his vocal advocacy of Zoo.
posted by Johnny Assay at 1:54 PM on November 14, 2017 [3 favorites]


A press roundup of Pottersville by the Syracuse, NY paper here. (Pottersville was filmed in Central New York State, in and near Syracuse.)
posted by JimInLoganSquare at 1:55 PM on November 14, 2017


MetaFilter: Christina Hendricks and Ron Perlman in full-body animal costumes makes me curious in a lot of ways I never really thought about before
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:59 PM on November 14, 2017 [8 favorites]


Simply imagine Ron Perlman or Christina Hendricks reading the script, getting to the part describing them in furry costumes, looking up, shrugging, and saying, "Meh. I've worn worse."

("No freaking prosthetics, right?" "None at all, Mr. Perlman." "Good.")

Or imagine Michael Shannon reading through the script, looking up, shrugging, and saying, "Meh. Makes more sense than Zod's behavior in Man of Steel."
posted by Mutant Lobsters from Riverhead at 2:07 PM on November 14, 2017 [3 favorites]


So you're saying this movie was a cathartic release from bad costume design and Zac Snyder?
posted by Slackermagee at 2:11 PM on November 14, 2017 [2 favorites]


Now I think that Hellboy is basically a furry Bigfoot movie and I'm never going to go back to thinking that it isn't.
posted by maxsparber at 2:34 PM on November 14, 2017 [2 favorites]


I... I think... I think I want to see this film.
posted by Splunge at 2:50 PM on November 14, 2017 [6 favorites]


Why the hell did this not take place in the George Bailey-free alternate timeline from It's a Wonderful Life?

Now that Viacom owns the rights, maybe when they get around to building a theme park they'll build Pottersville. I want to go drinking in The Bamboo Lounge.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 2:51 PM on November 14, 2017 [5 favorites]


WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR COLORFUL CHARACTERS OUT YOU TWO PIXIES GO
posted by maxsparber at 2:57 PM on November 14, 2017 [4 favorites]


Hey, I have a Sasquatch standee cut from the same template as the ones from the final scene attached to the side of my house!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:14 PM on November 14, 2017 [5 favorites]


I started a Christmas tradition a couple of years ago where I make a bunch of snack foods (some even healthy!), make mulled wine (among other alcoholic beverages) wear Christmas pajamas and stream Christmas-related specials/episodes/movies. Some are nostalgic favorites and sweet (like Christmas on Sesame Street & Olive, The Other Reindeer). Some, however, operate under the "the weirder, the better." Which is why I've watched the ALF Christmas episode more than once (spoilers: He saves a man from suicide and delivers a baby). And I really enjoy terrifying people who may wander in with Invader ZIM: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever.

Sadly (well, partially), I am spending Christmas with my family and somehow I don't think they'll really want to do 24+ hours of binge watching things (yes, I do sleep during this marathon, though, but at last count, I did have more than 24 hours of things to watch).

What I'm saying, though, this is absolutely a contender for my lineup.
posted by darksong at 3:41 PM on November 14, 2017 [6 favorites]


Did they all lose a bet?

I think you mean WIN!
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 4:16 PM on November 14, 2017 [3 favorites]


Can't be worse than that Hallmark shit that's already running constantly.

Who watches that shit, you ask? My in-laws. They watch that shit.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:25 PM on November 14, 2017 [5 favorites]


Ha! The movie was filmed in Hamilton, home of Colgate University. The well-known Colgate Inn served as the “museum” as seen in one still.

Local folks shrugged at this one—clearly not as exciting as Slap Shot, scenes for which were filmed at the Colgate ice rink.

A somewhat better winter movie shot in the Syracuse area is Adult World, which is better than the name would imply.
posted by kinnakeet at 4:29 PM on November 14, 2017 [1 favorite]


I want someone to make a version of It's a Wonderful Life where the Clarence-analogue saves the George-analogue and shows him the world as it would have been without him, except, as it turns out, the world is significantly better, even though the George isn't actually mean, just a little clueless. The George changes his mind and wants to live, but the Clarence realises that the world is better off without George and, although it's against every rule in the angelic handbook, he resolves to kill him. So the film would be about a good angel trying to murder an innocent someone he's supposed to be looking after without getting caught.

I don't know how it turns out. That's why I want someone to make it. Perhaps it could be called It's a Shit Life or It's a Wonderful File.

Perhaps they already have. It can't be that original an idea.
posted by Grangousier at 4:56 PM on November 14, 2017 [11 favorites]


You're soaking in it.
posted by The Great David S. Pumpkins at 5:00 PM on November 14, 2017 [1 favorite]


I kind of wish he hadn't spoiled the whole thing because this sounds amazing. Like, did he misspell greatest and have it autocorrected to weirdest?
posted by rodlymight at 5:07 PM on November 14, 2017 [1 favorite]


stevis23: So, Netflix, you need to fund MST3K Season 12, because I think we just found the Christmas episode.

Paul! Christmas is in danger! Dress up as me and get back at your wife.
posted by dr_dank at 5:15 PM on November 14, 2017 [3 favorites]


I'm pretty sure we are IN the bad timeline, this may be a more positive result of it.
posted by Artw at 5:32 PM on November 14, 2017


I want someone to make a version of It's a Wonderful Life where the Clarence-analogue saves the George-analogue and shows him the world as it would have been without him, except, as it turns out, the world is significantly better, even though the George isn't actually mean, just a little clueless.

That’s the Christmas episode of Married with Children, which happens to be the only episode of it that I’ve seen.

The true Pottersville is the New York City of Eyes Wide Shut, and possibly actual New York City as well.
posted by betweenthebars at 6:05 PM on November 14, 2017 [4 favorites]


Eyes Wide Shut as Christmas Movie is what led to Twitter discussion of Muppet Christmas Failed Orgy.
posted by Artw at 6:18 PM on November 14, 2017 [1 favorite]


Was totally expecting this to take place in the George Bailey-free alternate timeline from It's a Wonderful Life.

If that were true, shouldn't Drew Barrymore be playing the bank owner/mayor?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:40 PM on November 14, 2017 [4 favorites]


In my former life as a film critic there was a local film festival where a lot of stuff like this would come through. Really weird little movies with lots of famous people in them, usually the result of one famous person with an impressive rolodex calling in favors from their pals. Those movies were usually not very good. Sometimes they were odd in an interesting way, and sometimes they managed to be odd but also kind of dull. Almost any celeb you can think of, no matter how famous they are, has probably got a few of these on their resume. Look on their IMDB page, and sandwiched between their big hits you'll find one or two movies you never heard of.

(Exhibit A: Bob Gale's Interstate 60, featuring James Marsden, Christopher Lloyd AND Michael J. Fox, with Gary Oldman as a mischievous, vaguely magical trickster with half a knob. It's not exactly good but it's a fascinating little curio. Watching it, it becomes abundantly clear that Gale probably thought up all the crazier shit in the Back to the Future movies and Robert Zemeckis' main job was trying to reign him in.)
posted by Ursula Hitler at 7:24 PM on November 14, 2017 [2 favorites]


Oh, and since nobody seems to have gone looking for it yet. Trailer.
posted by Naberius at 8:03 PM on November 14, 2017


I just want to mention that I have actually spent a weekend camping/partying with over 100 furries in the Washington Cascades, which is classic Bigfoot territory, and I have actually danced with a giant rabbit during one of these events.

I feel like I am required to see this movie.
posted by hippybear at 8:13 PM on November 14, 2017 [6 favorites]


I want someone to make a version of It's a Wonderful Life where the Clarence-analogue saves the George-analogue and shows him the world as it would have been without him, except, as it turns out, the world is significantly better, even though the George isn't actually mean, just a little clueless.

That’s the Christmas episode of Married with Children, which happens to be the only episode of it that I’ve seen.



Howard the Duck
got there first, I think.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:36 PM on November 14, 2017 [2 favorites]


With support from executive producer Patricia Hearst.

Well sure. If you're gonna make a movie about Bigfoot saving Christmas (plus furries) with Ron Perlman, Christina Hendricks & Ian McShane in it, you might as well go whole hog & bring in Patty Hearst to produce it. #TeamTanya
posted by scalefree at 11:14 PM on November 14, 2017


Historically inspired somewhat I expect, the creation of big foot or what brought it to national attention was a failing northwest resort in the 50's that needed publicity.
posted by sammyo at 4:27 AM on November 15, 2017


Not convinced. There are a lot of pretty weird Christmas movies. I mean, a lot.
posted by Segundus at 4:44 AM on November 15, 2017


Ugh, this probably won't play in my town and I'll never see it, or even I will, but I'll FORGET because I am getting old and I will *always* think that Pottersville is that alternate timeline movie without George Bailey.

Why does the universe do these things to me?
posted by allthinky at 5:54 AM on November 15, 2017


darksong, I want to talk to you about some of your Christmas finds....
posted by JHarris at 7:15 AM on November 15, 2017


Mrs. Sorensen and the Sasquatch — since we're talking about Sasquatch love...
posted by thedward at 9:24 AM on November 15, 2017


This movie was filmed in my hometown. I expect I'll get to be proud of that whether it's weird-good, or weird-bad.
One extra who's in the trailer for half a second is a friend from high school. (And this is an aside, but I love sharing that I know this person: The same friend was also an extra in Star Trek: Nemesis, playing guitar in Riker and Troi's wedding band.)
posted by D.Billy at 10:07 AM on November 15, 2017 [3 favorites]


Simply imagine Ron Perlman or Christina Hendricks reading the script, getting to the part describing them in furry costumes, looking up, shrugging, and saying, "Meh. I've worn worse."

I imagine them looking at each other and saying "this is going to be great!" They all must have had a lot of fun making this film. I don't give a damn about Xmas or Xmas movies, but I've got to see this one.
posted by homunculus at 10:13 AM on November 15, 2017


The well-known Colgate Inn served as the “museum” as seen in one still.

Which, with its ornate façade with many classical columns and porticos, is apparently supposed to have just previously been an abandoned mill.

I don’t know what the location scout thought a mill was, but, like...
posted by Sys Rq at 11:44 AM on November 15, 2017 [2 favorites]


Maybe the mill likes to play dress-up too, Sys Rq.
posted by nubs at 12:57 PM on November 15, 2017 [3 favorites]


Oddly, there is a nearby logging town that had a mill shut down and gained a Bigfoot Museum a few years ago. I'm guessing this film is not based on the true story of that museum's start though, since it was founded by someone genuinely curious about Bigfoot, rather than a Bigfoot cosplayer.
posted by subocoyne at 11:51 AM on November 17, 2017


Not to brag, but I have a genuine bigfoot molar and hair.
posted by maxsparber at 1:03 PM on November 17, 2017


I want someone to make a version of It's a Wonderful Life where the Clarence-analogue saves the George-analogue and shows him the world as it would have been without him, except, as it turns out, the world is significantly better

Paula Poundstone had a joke about this in the 80s, though less violent: "It turns out everything is a lot better without me, and the angel is forced to apologize."
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 1:38 PM on November 17, 2017


Speaking of Bigfoot, I recently discovered there is a whole genre of Bigfoot porn on Amazon. The Cum for Bigfoot series. Ganged by Bigfoot, of course. Um, Bigfoot Loves Sex. Bigfoot: The Scent of Sex. Bigfoot Took My Innocence. And, of course, Chuck Tingle's Bigfoot Pirates Haunt My Balls.
posted by maxsparber at 1:48 PM on November 17, 2017


Ganged by Bigfoot, of course

Wouldn’t that be Ganged by Bigfoots (or, possibly Bigfeet - I don’t know the correct plural)? I mean a singular entity can’t be a gang, unless there are some things about Bigfoot I really don’t understand.
posted by nubs at 2:13 PM on November 17, 2017


The plural of Bigfoot is Bigfoot.
posted by maxsparber at 2:39 PM on November 17, 2017


Well, I guess I’ve put my foot in it then.
posted by nubs at 3:03 PM on November 17, 2017 [1 favorite]


Coming to Netflix December 15th, did we cover that?
posted by Artw at 1:07 PM on November 29, 2017 [2 favorites]


Oh shit. Putting it on my calendar.
posted by maxsparber at 2:52 PM on November 29, 2017


Not to Netflix Canada, sadly. We do get "Discovering Bigfoot", a documentary, on December 15 but it doesn't sound like an adequate replacement for "Pottersville".
posted by nubs at 9:37 AM on November 30, 2017


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