He's like "Your decisions in life are horrible"
January 19, 2018 9:13 AM   Subscribe

 
This is a delight.
Fuck your pupper essentialism.
posted by phunniemee at 9:22 AM on January 19, 2018 [14 favorites]


My late stepdad (6'2", about 240) was shot in the head in Operation Dragoon in WWII on a LCM, and shot in the chest on retreat from the Yalu River in Korea as a combat infantryman (thus earning a Purple Heart in two wars and two different services). Between wars, he was an MP and then a Sheriff's Deputy in Kentucky. After Korea, he became a welder. A stereotypically macho, "real man" down to his toes.

He always had German shepherds and loved them. When he married my Mom in the 70s, she wanted a toy poodle, so they got one. That began his love of toy poodles for the rest of his life. They had 7 or 8 over the next 40 years, generally one at a time, right up until he passed away at 85.

He was occasionally asked about why he liked toy poodles: they're very smart, very affectionate, don't take up much space or need as much food as a large dog. But I think he just really liked how it was easier to hold them in his lap while watching t.v. :)
posted by darkstar at 9:47 AM on January 19, 2018 [47 favorites]


Fwiw, most of the early outdoor (summertime) shots were done at Berczy Park, site of the dog fountain discussed previously.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:48 AM on January 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'm not the world's largest man, but I've 4 little squirts. Before we got Sammy, I was one of those who said "I've gotta be able to wrestle with the dog and face the possibility of losing for it to be a dog." Yeah, that's a bunch of hogwash. little dogs got big personalities. The first one is an ever living terror. Thank god he's not bigger!
posted by drewbage1847 at 9:49 AM on January 19, 2018 [5 favorites]


My father grew up helping to take care of my grandfather's coonhounds. But when we got a dog it was a cockapoo.

Dad got so attached to the little guy that one day when he was under the weather and had to go to the vet, my father somehow got so paranoid that this would end up being The Last Visit that he was in tears by the time he got there, and ran into the vet with the dog in his arms wailing "You have to save my best friend!!!"

....The dog was fine, by the way. Just an upset stomach. I think they were more worried about Dad.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:01 AM on January 19, 2018 [37 favorites]


This was adorable. Small dogs can be awesome little puppers. Personally, I think the only acceptable threshold for "this dog is too small!" is the point at which you consistently decide it's easier to just move the dog out of the way instead of teaching it not to do something. Our household is suuuuper lazy, so we probably won't ever get a dog under 35 lbs because otherwise we'd raise it into a tiny canine monster. But if a well-behaved teacup yorkie showed up on our front steps, my husband would probably demand we keep it.
posted by deludingmyself at 10:11 AM on January 19, 2018 [4 favorites]


I am not a large man, but I originally did not want a small dog. I wanted a greyhound, really. They're beautiful and quiet and lazy except when VOOM. But my wife is terrified of big dogs, and my kids are hyper, which would freak a grey out, so I started checking rescue sites for small dogs.

Mugsy was seven pounds when we got him, of which probably a half pound was worms and and a half pound was beard. He's up around twenty now and has progressed from looking like Morgan Freeman to a sort of befuddled Orthodox priest. I think of him as a small emergency backup child. And he's better, really, because he doesn't talk. Unless you count his love of barking at chipmunk holes.

Just yesterday I took him to the vet and a woman in the waiting room looked at us and smiled and said "You two look nice together with your beards." So it's probably matching sweater time.
posted by middleclasstool at 10:29 AM on January 19, 2018 [55 favorites]


love the people and furkids you love. if someone has a problem with that just take pity on their shriveled little souls...
posted by supermedusa at 10:31 AM on January 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


I'm a pretty big dude -- 5'11" and 200 pounds. I have a beard and wear a cowboy hat.

I have a 14 pound chihuahua/Shiba Inu rescue named Burt, who looks a lot like the first dog in the video (Squirt?), except, thanks to his Shiba genes, has. big barrel chest, a thick neck, and a more classic big dog profile; he looks like a puppy of a larger dog.

He also has one eye and was 30 pounds when I got him, then three years old and obviously from a home where he had been neglected. He didn't know any commands, didn't know his own name, was barely housetrained, and had been free-feeding, and so went into constant food panics where he would just race around the house, searching for food.

I got him because my girlfriend was bored and a little depressed in Omaha, where we were then living, and she had been staring at dog photos online for months, and I thought having a dog would improve her mood. But I spotted Burt, suggested we meet him, and then sort of pushed for him to be our dog. Of the four times he goes out per day (small bladder), I walk him three times, and he sleeps in my bed.

He's very affectionate to her and very good about making sure we get equal attention from him, and he lies on the sofa with her and cuddles. But he's not my girlfriend's dog, as people in the video assumed about big men with little dogs.

He's our dog.
posted by maxsparber at 10:33 AM on January 19, 2018 [13 favorites]


also, middleclasstool, I think a beard twins pic is in order
posted by supermedusa at 10:34 AM on January 19, 2018 [13 favorites]


I would like some photos of these MeFite Small Dogs.
posted by jessamyn at 10:35 AM on January 19, 2018 [25 favorites]


Can we have a Puppy Break in more short documentaries?
posted by zamboni at 10:36 AM on January 19, 2018 [6 favorites]


Thank you so much for this! It's a delight and I'm sending it to everyone who needs some cheering up.
posted by erratic meatsack at 10:38 AM on January 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


My pug Gibbon very quickly and very unexpectedly died last weekend so I would appreciate small doggo pictures.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 10:42 AM on January 19, 2018 [18 favorites]


You may already have seen some Twitter images of Burt, but here he is walking on a frozen lake. Here he is (and me) during Christmas. Here's me just celebrating him.
posted by maxsparber at 10:45 AM on January 19, 2018 [22 favorites]


We adopted our 14lb chihuahua mix Cappuccino from the local Humane Society and love trotting him around the neighborhood, as a 6' 180lb man. He's my baby. If he wasn't such a butthole to other doggos we'd have more but he's a spoiled princess who wants us all to himself.
posted by msbutah at 10:52 AM on January 19, 2018 [16 favorites]


"He's just a fucking dog who needed a home"

<3
posted by dismas at 10:54 AM on January 19, 2018 [27 favorites]


Ha ha, I know for a fact that this big Canadian actor who often plays big tough guy roles has a little floofer for a dog, too!
posted by jillithd at 10:56 AM on January 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


Story checks out!
posted by jessamyn at 11:01 AM on January 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


I don't know if anyone would call Stephen King "big" (he's a bit on the thin side), but he is similarly obsessed over a small corgi.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:02 AM on January 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


> middleclasstool:

Mugsy was seven pounds when we got him, of which probably a half pound was worms and and a half pound was beard. He's up around twenty now and has progressed from looking like Morgan Freeman to a sort of befuddled Orthodox priest. I think of him as a small emergency backup child. And he's better, really, because he doesn't talk. Unless you count his love of barking at chipmunk holes.


I REALLY have to see a pic of Mugsy now.
posted by Samizdata at 11:26 AM on January 19, 2018 [6 favorites]


I’m 6’3 and have a 10 pound dog. Can confirm this is a good way to live one’s life.
posted by thedaniel at 11:28 AM on January 19, 2018 [10 favorites]


> jillithd:
"Ha ha, I know for a fact that this big Canadian actor who often plays big tough guy roles has a little floofer for a dog, too!"

jessamyn:
"Story checks out!"

Seriously, I thought MeFi was down on doxxing.

MODS!
posted by Samizdata at 11:29 AM on January 19, 2018 [4 favorites]


Nah, this is dogxing.
posted by Kat Allison at 11:38 AM on January 19, 2018 [11 favorites]


Oh god, anyone excited about seeing a picture of my boy gets the fire hose. And my instant friendship. Behold.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:39 AM on January 19, 2018 [73 favorites]


Tony Bennett loves his dog Happy. Oh, how Tony Bennett loves Happy.
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:44 AM on January 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


OH GOD . Someone get me a cardiologist , my heart is melted. Lookit those good guys and their delightful little dogs, and the love between them. gaaahhhh I am dead.

Mr. Fig is a tiny man with a penchant for tiny dogs (which is probably the biggest impact I've had on him in our relationship).

Mr Fig and Biggest Dog (Figlet, 18 lbs)
Mr Fig and Middle Dog (Lindy, 12 lbs)
Mr Fig and Little Dog (Taco, 8 lbs)

We also have a very petite cat, who's about 7 lbs of fluff. So, other than me, our household is full of small critters.
posted by Fig at 11:53 AM on January 19, 2018 [22 favorites]


I have never wanted a meetup so badly.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:56 AM on January 19, 2018 [5 favorites]


Behold.

SCREAM his lil tartan coat
posted by poffin boffin at 12:16 PM on January 19, 2018 [5 favorites]


> Mr Fig and Little Dog (Taco, 8 lbs)

They have the same expression!
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:18 PM on January 19, 2018 [7 favorites]


While neither a man, nor large, I have a very small dog. A 3 pound yorkie! She's tiny but has a HUGE personality.
posted by aclevername at 12:23 PM on January 19, 2018 [7 favorites]


Yeah ,they have the same smirk at me heavily sighing after repeatedly saying "no dogs at the table - don't do it. Bad idea. Dangit." (They are cute, tho)
posted by Fig at 12:25 PM on January 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


I am a large bearlike animal (though I consider myself more of a tanuki) enamored of small things. Unfortunately, the supposed chihuahua/corgi mix I adopted turned out to be a malnourished Dixie dingo that, upon feeding, fluffed up into a more socially acceptable dingo-sized dog, which was a bit annoying because I'd sought out a bijou canine after doing the math on my previous dog, a bad-tempered Shar Pei who I'd had to carry up and down stairs in the last two years of her sixteen-year life, and realizing that, when my new dog was that old, I'd be 56 and would want something easier on the back. Nevermind—my dingo is my treasure and I'll just have to work out more so she doesn't throw out my back in my dotage.

My addendum dog to my Dixie dingo, Daisy, was meant to be a smallish, but otherwise regular beagle, but due to the size of the volunteer holding him in the photo session for the rescue agency, I was unaware that Lou was actually what's called a "pocket beagle," and, at the adoption fair when I picked him up, I was shocked to find that he was so ridiculously small that I feared my rambunctious dingo would continually break him. I look approximately as funny walking little bowlegged Lou, who grunts like a pig with every step and is just ears ears ears everywhere, but because he's a miniaturized beagle, and not therefore feminine or god-forbid precious, somehow that insulates me from the usual gender-grinding that Americans love to do because we're apparently all idiots.

Lou has largely become the dog of my amicable ex, who lives upstairs in my apartment building and is himself something of a pocket beagle, so the two forged a bond and I tend to him on weekends when the amicable ex is babysitting his nephews and I'm constantly amused by his microtitude and how spry he is for a 91-year-old-in-dog-years dog, and semi-amused by his attempts to descend the steep uncarpeted stairs at my new boyfriend's house, in which he takes two strange sidesaddle diagonal steps down before barrel-rolling down in a whirl of angry grunts and ears ears ears before I'm able to lunge forward and catch his fat little carcass.

"Why do you not see that happening in advance, Lou?" I ask him, cradling him like a snorting infant as he rails at the indignity of such a cradling, though he's getting wiser and will instead stand at the top of the stairs and bay the piccolo-like bay of a pocket beagle until someone volunteers to become a human elevator.

I bought a tiny car last week, and while I look pleasantly like a circus bear in it, my dingo seems to scale, so I have resolved, after the eventual demise of my lovely Daisy and Lou, and upon the granting of my Nobel prize for literature, that I will get a Bianchina Cabriolet, get the smallest dog that's not a mass of genetic disorders, grow my beard out, work out until my shoulders barely fit in a tiny Italian roadster, and dress like Audrey Hepburn in How To Steal A Million, so that I can climb out of my tiny car in my large white hat and let a minuscule canine in a spiked collar lead me into the glamorous world of the future.
posted by sonascope at 12:36 PM on January 19, 2018 [31 favorites]


Behold.

You weren't kidding about the beard! *starry eyes*
posted by dendritejungle at 12:47 PM on January 19, 2018 [7 favorites]


Why... hello gentleman. I am powerless against the charm of you with your dogs. I throw myself at you.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 12:53 PM on January 19, 2018 [9 favorites]


> Behold.

You have killed me.
posted by rtha at 1:06 PM on January 19, 2018 [7 favorites]


"He needed a home and I gave him a fucking home"

Could not have been more Canadian.
posted by srboisvert at 1:07 PM on January 19, 2018 [9 favorites]


> middleclasstool:
"Oh god, anyone excited about seeing a picture of my boy gets the fire hose. And my instant friendship. Behold."

I am going SERIOUSLY off message here, but, at one point, both my 8-pound cat (I skew stout/chunky and am half an inch short of 6 feet) and I had mutton chops. (He still does, but I grew mine out into a mustache and goatee after getting tired of a family member making Jarndyce v Jarndyce comments.)

Mugsy does seem like an awesome little dude and well loved. How did the heartworm thing play out?
posted by Samizdata at 1:12 PM on January 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


We find out for sure end of next month. The treatments were hard on him, as they will be. But the vet was optimistic. And Heartgard is reimbursing us, which was amazing.
posted by middleclasstool at 1:34 PM on January 19, 2018 [11 favorites]


> middleclasstool:
"We find out for sure end of next month. The treatments were hard on him, as they will be. But the vet was optimistic. And Heartgard is reimbursing us, which was amazing."

Fingers crossed, my friend, fingers crossed.
posted by Samizdata at 1:44 PM on January 19, 2018 [5 favorites]


This video is my sexual orientation.

I like all your dog photos.
posted by darksong at 2:07 PM on January 19, 2018 [12 favorites]


Ooh! The guy from Game of Thrones who plays the mountain! He has a tiny Pomeranian.
posted by Savannah at 2:37 PM on January 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


dogxed.
posted by jessamyn at 2:40 PM on January 19, 2018 [10 favorites]


A little late because I was at work, but this is Bug, the 3 pound yorkie.
posted by aclevername at 3:13 PM on January 19, 2018 [11 favorites]


When I went to the humane society, I said, "okay, I only have one rule: no chihuahuas."
You can guess how that turned out.

Fergus
Me and Fergus

He is my #1 dude
posted by churl at 3:19 PM on January 19, 2018 [24 favorites]


I would literally die for Fergus
posted by middleclasstool at 3:48 PM on January 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


My 6' 250lb large husband is wrapped around whatever passes for a little finger on an 18lb Boston terrier. He insisted that any dog we got was between 15-30 lbs. "Big enough to go anywhere, little enough to go anywhere", as he says. Plus, "I am not picking up dog shit the same size as people shit. That's a scam, man."
posted by marylynn at 3:49 PM on January 19, 2018 [10 favorites]


I’m a big guy (6’ +, 200 lbs +) with a penchant for senior bulldogs (current is a svelte 41 lbs at 14 years old), so I get these guys.
posted by brand-gnu at 3:53 PM on January 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


The idea of coming up with any kind of opinion of a person based on what kind of dog they are walking has literally never occurred to me as even a thing you could even do. I'm always too fixated on omigod puppy!!!!!!!!! and trying to see if it wants to say hi. The gender of the person barely registers for me, much less their size, their appearance, or any of that. Forget that, they have a dog and it is a chance for me to say hello to a dog and the dog will often say hello to me and that is the best no matter what kind of dog and no matter what kind of person is walking the dog.

Seriously, it could be, like, Pol Pot walking a dog and I'd be fixated on the dog.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:45 PM on January 19, 2018 [9 favorites]


Almost forgot - Jorge Garcia also likes chihuahuas.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:50 PM on January 19, 2018 [5 favorites]


they're smol doggos, Bront
posted by supermedusa at 4:51 PM on January 19, 2018 [7 favorites]


I saw a German Shepherd puppy (3-4 months?) at the vet yesterday. OMG the ka-yoooootz!!! it was at that stage when the ears are up and still ridiculously too big for the rest of the bat, I mean dog...

I barely acknowledged the owner as I sidled over to say hello.
posted by supermedusa at 4:55 PM on January 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


My husband is 6'4" so I think he counts as a large man with a small dog when he's walking our 10 pound rescue chiweenie, Remy.
posted by Squeak Attack at 5:05 PM on January 19, 2018 [14 favorites]


WHAT'S A GOOD LITTLE FPP!? WHAT'S A GOOD LITTLE FPP!?

THIS!? IS THIS A GOOD LITTLE FPP?

YEEEEES THIS IS SUCH A GOOOOOD LITTLE FPP YES IT IS!
posted by not_on_display at 5:39 PM on January 19, 2018 [10 favorites]


My boyfriend gets orders of magnitude more attention when he's out walking the Coconut than I as a woman get (or the two of us get) in a parallel situation. Just an observation.

I realize he is not quite as smol as a chihuahua. But he thinks he is.
posted by mosst at 8:32 PM on January 19, 2018 [8 favorites]


I have met many nasty-tempered Chihuahuas and dachshunds in my life, so was prejudiced, but now know two delightful chiweenies so maybe there's something where they cancel out each other's rage tendencies. Anyway this is delightful and all these men are delightful.
posted by emjaybee at 8:58 PM on January 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


I keep looking at Remy’s ears. I’m pretty sure Remy’s Ears are two-level town homes. SETI could find alien life forms, if only they could harness the power of those ears.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:35 PM on January 19, 2018 [4 favorites]


The video is delightful, as are the dog photos.
posted by Dip Flash at 10:05 PM on January 19, 2018


What a delightful little film! I loved all the men and their dogs. They were so sweet and down to earth.

Mr hgg is not a small man, and he loves our small bundle of naughtiness and personality.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:05 PM on January 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


And I'm sorry about your Gibbon, fluffy battle kitten.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:14 PM on January 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


> not_on_display:
"WHAT'S A GOOD LITTLE FPP!? WHAT'S A GOOD LITTLE FPP!?

THIS!? IS THIS A GOOD LITTLE FPP?

YEEEEES THIS IS SUCH A GOOOOOD LITTLE FPP YES IT IS!"


thread gets so excited it starts jumping up and down, eventually widdling on your shoe
posted by Samizdata at 11:33 PM on January 19, 2018 [5 favorites]


> fluffy battle kitten:
"My pug Gibbon very quickly and very unexpectedly died last weekend so I would appreciate small doggo pictures."

So sorry, both for your loss and for not noticing your announcement of loss. Speaking of large men, I am somewhat squishy. Condolences hug?
posted by Samizdata at 11:37 PM on January 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


The director is named Cat. THE DIRECTOR IS NAMED CAT.

I am 6’3” and am owned by two 14-year-old cats and I just made a sound that can only be described as gneeeeeeeee and oh boy are these two going to be surprised in a couple of years
posted by scrump at 3:58 AM on January 20, 2018 [7 favorites]


Oh, is this where we share our chihuahua photos?

I never thought I'd have a chihuahua, but when my boyfriend's mom moved into a one-dog apartment, we took care of him "temporarily." Three years later, he's the best little bud I could have asked for. And for the record, the boyfriend is 6 feet tall.
posted by geegollygosh at 5:53 AM on January 20, 2018 [10 favorites]


Quality time with Lipsy!

(her: 18 lbs. Me: 230ish)
posted by Sauce Trough at 10:05 AM on January 20, 2018 [9 favorites]


I'm 6'6 and 280 lbs. and have a 9 lb. ball of fur named Walter. Story checks out.
posted by rossination at 8:51 AM on January 21, 2018 [9 favorites]


A few years ago I was driving over the Fremont Bridge here in Seattle on Halloween and saw this big bear dude walking a pug and a frenchie, both of whom were dressed like princesses, in tutus and tiaras. They all looked so extraordinarily happy and proud. It is maybe the most pure thing I have ever seen.
posted by lunasol at 8:07 AM on January 22, 2018 [4 favorites]


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