"you met a fucking forest nymph"
February 3, 2018 4:05 PM Subscribe
Pleated Jeans has a new feature:
These aren’t the most hilarious memes. These aren’t the dankest memes. These aren’t the newest, hottest memes. Heck, some of them aren’t even actual memes. These are meant to pick you up when you are down. This is a safe place to come every week and feel good. You deserve it. I love you. (titular meme)Bonus: Literally Just 20 Funny Posts About Loving Mac N’ Cheese
Folks, it's official: Rob Halford is my spirit animal.
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:29 PM on February 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:29 PM on February 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
Reporting back: was only able to make it through half the stories from the "pick you up when you are down" link because crying too hard over examples of human kindness
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:29 PM on February 3, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:29 PM on February 3, 2018 [9 favorites]
The "I JUST HOPE BOTH TEAMS HAVE FUN" guy is me, every time someone asks me whose side I'm on for a sportsball event.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 4:30 PM on February 3, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 4:30 PM on February 3, 2018 [9 favorites]
Argh, I cried so many times! I can't even pick a fave.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:33 PM on February 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:33 PM on February 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
Thanks for this. I really really love macaroni and cheese :-)
posted by supermedusa at 4:46 PM on February 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by supermedusa at 4:46 PM on February 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
There's a lot to unpack here, but here are two random observations -
1) When Death tells the dog people said he was The Best, this is pure Terry Pratchett's vision of Death. Inevitable and gentle once past the pain and struggle of the world, a reaffirmation not of life, but of living it.
2) The Elon Musk flamethrower stunt is going to kill people. He marketed it as a goddamn toy.
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:56 PM on February 3, 2018 [17 favorites]
1) When Death tells the dog people said he was The Best, this is pure Terry Pratchett's vision of Death. Inevitable and gentle once past the pain and struggle of the world, a reaffirmation not of life, but of living it.
2) The Elon Musk flamethrower stunt is going to kill people. He marketed it as a goddamn toy.
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:56 PM on February 3, 2018 [17 favorites]
Clicked through.
Smile.
Smile.
Smirk.
Chuckle.
Chuckle.
Laughing.
Giggling.
Guffaw.
Smile.
Show the husband.
Snicker.
Giggle.
GREAT BIG HEAVING SOBS
posted by peagood at 5:01 PM on February 3, 2018 [27 favorites]
Smile.
Smile.
Smirk.
Chuckle.
Chuckle.
Laughing.
Giggling.
Guffaw.
Smile.
Show the husband.
Snicker.
Giggle.
GREAT BIG HEAVING SOBS
posted by peagood at 5:01 PM on February 3, 2018 [27 favorites]
The one with Judge Judy and the dog killed me. Judge Judy is bad-ass!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:07 PM on February 3, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:07 PM on February 3, 2018 [6 favorites]
Hi @dublinbusnews my three year old wanted to know how you decide which buses get to sleep inside the depot garage and which have to sleep out in the yard.
Hi Matthew, we have rang around to a few of the depots and we can confirm that all buses are loved equally and take turns sleeping inside the warm depot. Those sleeping outside are given cocoa to keep warm.
posted by Glinn at 5:17 PM on February 3, 2018 [28 favorites]
Hi Matthew, we have rang around to a few of the depots and we can confirm that all buses are loved equally and take turns sleeping inside the warm depot. Those sleeping outside are given cocoa to keep warm.
posted by Glinn at 5:17 PM on February 3, 2018 [28 favorites]
GREAT BIG HEAVING SOBS
I was fine until that one and now I'm melting, melting.
posted by datawrangler at 5:33 PM on February 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
I was fine until that one and now I'm melting, melting.
posted by datawrangler at 5:33 PM on February 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
Yeah, that one got me good,
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:04 PM on February 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:04 PM on February 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
"Santa", whose real name is Mr Hussain, was walking down the street in Tooting in December 2013 when he was spotted by Alfie, who is now 6. He heard the little boy call him Santa, and turned round and gave him some money, leading Alfie to believe that he really was Father Christmas.
1) Is the name "Santa" gaining ground in the UK over "Father Christmas"?
2) LOL Tooting.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:13 PM on February 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
1) Is the name "Santa" gaining ground in the UK over "Father Christmas"?
2) LOL Tooting.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:13 PM on February 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
OMG WHY AM I SOBBING ADFG!*FT$
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:34 PM on February 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:34 PM on February 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Husband: What happened?
Me, sobbing on our very-much-alive-dog: they were supposed to be pick-you-up memes! I was ambushed!
posted by kimberussell at 7:11 PM on February 3, 2018 [26 favorites]
Me, sobbing on our very-much-alive-dog: they were supposed to be pick-you-up memes! I was ambushed!
posted by kimberussell at 7:11 PM on February 3, 2018 [26 favorites]
Santa Claus is 100% real – at least for one little boy who first saw him walking past his front door in south London four years ago.
Alright now I have my own to share with you fine folk. It's about the Christmas Walk tradition among the circle of friends I grew up with. It started in high school I think. One particularly snowy Christmas Eve my friend Chet & I went for a walk through the neighborhood, checking out the Christmas lights, displays & any trees we could glimpse through the living room windows. There were no cars driving past us, the snow was muffling all sounds, there was a magical stillness in the cold air around us as we trudged.
The next year we agreed we had to do it again; a couple of our friends joined us this time. It quickly became a tradition, the Christmas Walk. It continued without me after I moved away for college & I joined back in every year I went home for the holidays. We added rituals; cigars & bottles of champagne were passed out & consumed along the way, houses of select friends & relatives were visited along the way, the occasional Christmas carol was sung if we ran across an appreciative audience, we held forth on the merits & demerits of each lighting display we passed & our friend Damien was tasked with dressing as Santa.
Much lore has built up over the years, many stories funny, inspiring & embarrassing. One year in particular stands out for all of us though. Two events made that year's Walk more special than the rest. We'd been walking a while, Santa was with us. As we walked down the street a movement in a bedroom window caught our eyes. It was the face of a small boy, his eyes as big as saucers. Too young to even begin to doubt, he knew - knew! Santa was real & now he had his proof.
It was a good omen for us so we extended the walk a little bit longer. And then came the real payoff, true Christmas magic. As we passed another house, again we saw movement, this time through the living room window, so we decided to walk up & say hi, maybe sing a carol or let Santa do his thing if there were kids in the house. An adult opened the door; when we started singing they quickly stopped us & ushered us in. We found the living room occupied by a very frail & elderly man in a daybed. We knew what we had to do. We gathered around his bed & sang every carol we knew, maybe a few of them twice, then excused ourselves & went back out into the night.
That's the story of the Christmas Walk. Next Christmas Eve maybe you can join us in your own neighborhood & see if you find a little Christmas magic of your own.
posted by scalefree at 8:21 PM on February 3, 2018 [34 favorites]
Alright now I have my own to share with you fine folk. It's about the Christmas Walk tradition among the circle of friends I grew up with. It started in high school I think. One particularly snowy Christmas Eve my friend Chet & I went for a walk through the neighborhood, checking out the Christmas lights, displays & any trees we could glimpse through the living room windows. There were no cars driving past us, the snow was muffling all sounds, there was a magical stillness in the cold air around us as we trudged.
The next year we agreed we had to do it again; a couple of our friends joined us this time. It quickly became a tradition, the Christmas Walk. It continued without me after I moved away for college & I joined back in every year I went home for the holidays. We added rituals; cigars & bottles of champagne were passed out & consumed along the way, houses of select friends & relatives were visited along the way, the occasional Christmas carol was sung if we ran across an appreciative audience, we held forth on the merits & demerits of each lighting display we passed & our friend Damien was tasked with dressing as Santa.
Much lore has built up over the years, many stories funny, inspiring & embarrassing. One year in particular stands out for all of us though. Two events made that year's Walk more special than the rest. We'd been walking a while, Santa was with us. As we walked down the street a movement in a bedroom window caught our eyes. It was the face of a small boy, his eyes as big as saucers. Too young to even begin to doubt, he knew - knew! Santa was real & now he had his proof.
It was a good omen for us so we extended the walk a little bit longer. And then came the real payoff, true Christmas magic. As we passed another house, again we saw movement, this time through the living room window, so we decided to walk up & say hi, maybe sing a carol or let Santa do his thing if there were kids in the house. An adult opened the door; when we started singing they quickly stopped us & ushered us in. We found the living room occupied by a very frail & elderly man in a daybed. We knew what we had to do. We gathered around his bed & sang every carol we knew, maybe a few of them twice, then excused ourselves & went back out into the night.
That's the story of the Christmas Walk. Next Christmas Eve maybe you can join us in your own neighborhood & see if you find a little Christmas magic of your own.
posted by scalefree at 8:21 PM on February 3, 2018 [34 favorites]
Every year on Thanksgiving Day, my sister goes to the neighborhood 7-11 and asks the guys working there (usually pulling a double, working the entire day) if they want Thanksgiving dinner that evening, and what they'd like to eat. She takes down their order, and that night when the family is finished eating, she fixes up a couple of plates and heads over to 7-11 to deliver Thanksgiving dinner. I witnessed this once, and there were definitely tears of gratitude.
posted by duffell at 8:46 PM on February 3, 2018 [28 favorites]
posted by duffell at 8:46 PM on February 3, 2018 [28 favorites]
scalefree, the kindness you and your friends showed to the man in the living room was more than you may realize. What probably cheered him and his caregivers as much as the carols was to be remembered and included. What a beautiful impulse.
posted by datawrangler at 9:34 PM on February 3, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by datawrangler at 9:34 PM on February 3, 2018 [7 favorites]
I enjoyed these, thank you Johnny Wallflower.
Once in a while I save some positive memes to randomly message my 13yo daughter. This time it was the dog that had figured out how to spot fake ball throws.
posted by Harald74 at 10:41 PM on February 3, 2018
Once in a while I save some positive memes to randomly message my 13yo daughter. This time it was the dog that had figured out how to spot fake ball throws.
posted by Harald74 at 10:41 PM on February 3, 2018
I see your kids with Disney princes and raise you my niece with Lego Darth Vader.
posted by divabat at 11:34 PM on February 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by divabat at 11:34 PM on February 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Seen recently at the Blacktown Arts Centre
posted by unliteral at 12:57 AM on February 4, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by unliteral at 12:57 AM on February 4, 2018 [1 favorite]
Oh the little boys with the matching haircuts! <3
posted by stillmoving at 3:33 AM on February 4, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by stillmoving at 3:33 AM on February 4, 2018 [1 favorite]
This is top-to-bottom fantastic; the stories being shared here also. Thank you, Johnny Wallflower; thank you all.
posted by seyirci at 7:33 AM on February 4, 2018
posted by seyirci at 7:33 AM on February 4, 2018
(Not to abuse the edit window: Wow, now I'm crying over a Charizard lunch box, and I've never even played Pokémon in my life.)
posted by seyirci at 7:42 AM on February 4, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by seyirci at 7:42 AM on February 4, 2018 [2 favorites]
Everything about this post is delightful.
posted by Flannery Culp at 7:59 AM on February 4, 2018
posted by Flannery Culp at 7:59 AM on February 4, 2018
I have SO many feel-good posts like this bookmarked from Buzzfeed. It's amazing how much they help. Thanks!
Also this one? *HEART EYES*
@sethrogen: My mom is crushing it!
RT @RogenSandy: Watched die hard movies all day and knitted!
posted by elsietheeel at 8:21 AM on February 4, 2018 [3 favorites]
Also this one? *HEART EYES*
@sethrogen: My mom is crushing it!
RT @RogenSandy: Watched die hard movies all day and knitted!
posted by elsietheeel at 8:21 AM on February 4, 2018 [3 favorites]
Just told my wife she reminds me of Mac 'n' cheese.
She looks at my side-eye, wondering what the heck I'm up to, and says "Go on."
I told her I love Mac 'n' cheese.
She cracks up, squeezes my hand, tells me she did not expect that.
36th anniversary in a month, people. 36th.
posted by lhauser at 1:37 PM on February 4, 2018 [19 favorites]
She looks at my side-eye, wondering what the heck I'm up to, and says "Go on."
I told her I love Mac 'n' cheese.
She cracks up, squeezes my hand, tells me she did not expect that.
36th anniversary in a month, people. 36th.
posted by lhauser at 1:37 PM on February 4, 2018 [19 favorites]
I GODDAMN NEEDED THIS OKAY
posted by capnsue at 11:13 PM on February 4, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by capnsue at 11:13 PM on February 4, 2018 [2 favorites]
My grandfather used to pad out Christmas gifts by going to a used book store and getting lots of books for everyone. Books were always from "Peter the Elf". Years later, my brother had taken to putting together little "stocking present" packets for friends' and neighbors' kids and one of the gifts happened to be a book, so he signed it from Peter the Elf, because, well, that's where books come from. It turns out that the recipient had written to Santa that year with "P.S. Please tell me the names of some of your elves." This gift, to the little girl, was proof that her letter had been received, and now Peter the Elf lives in another family's traditions.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:40 AM on February 5, 2018 [11 favorites]
posted by Karmakaze at 6:40 AM on February 5, 2018 [11 favorites]
This one is by Monika from Doki Doki Literature Club. It is not fair for them to put something like that on a list like this.
posted by Quonab at 7:47 AM on February 5, 2018
posted by Quonab at 7:47 AM on February 5, 2018
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From the full story: posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:22 PM on February 3, 2018 [30 favorites]