Monster Breeder
February 7, 2018 10:51 AM   Subscribe

Breed some monsters Monster Breeder is a simple in browser game made by Neil Cicierega in which you must catch, and then breed some monsters. Previously.
posted by Just this guy, y'know (102 comments total) 34 users marked this as a favorite
 
Congratulations!
You've successfully bred the GHOST and JASON VOORHEES together.
Their child is a beautiful

JASON VOORGHOST!


Yes, it is good.
posted by Huck500 at 10:56 AM on February 7 [2 favorites]


Well, I’ve just bred Jason Voorhees with a Zombie and got a Jazom Voorbies.

Gotta catch em all!
posted by nubs at 11:00 AM on February 7


you haven't lived until you've bred GIANT BOLT-NECKED ANT
posted by cortex at 11:01 AM on February 7


Oh man, I just saw that he posted this on his Patreon, but I had assumed that it was a song demo and waited to check it out. Little did I know!
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:03 AM on February 7 [1 favorite]


Mating ghost and zombie got me a Gumby!
posted by nubs at 11:04 AM on February 7 [4 favorites]


This SLENDER MIKE is a creepy crossbreed of Michael Myers and a Slender Man. Beautiful!

SLENDER MIKE: EERIE FHMMMFH MMFFHM SILENCE FHMMMFH MMFFHM SILENCE SILENCE MMFFHM GROOVY!

posted by Iridic at 11:08 AM on February 7 [3 favorites]


My favourite crossbreeds so far have been an autonomous chainsaw or perhaps Mike Myers (notably distinct from Michael Myers).
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 11:09 AM on February 7


Sadly the Techie Monster (Terminator / Cookie Monster) doesn't try to convince me to buy Bitcoin.
posted by skymt at 11:16 AM on February 7 [8 favorites]


My attempt to breed the Blob and the Terminator ended in disaster when the Blob ate the Terminator.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:20 AM on February 7


When people ask me my happiest moment in life, it'll be when I first laid eyes on my baby Chuck Ness Monster.
posted by cmfletcher at 11:20 AM on February 7 [7 favorites]


My attempt to breed the Blob and the Terminator ended in disaster when the Blob ate the Terminator.

You should try again. That's a good crossbreed.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 11:31 AM on February 7 [1 favorite]


Guess (this one is easy):

WHINNYING BOOOO NEIGHING BOO, NEIGHING WHINNYING. MEAN, WHINNYING!
posted by RolandOfEld at 11:32 AM on February 7


My ranch just got raided and I lost all 23 of my monsters and over $2200, where do I even go from here! I still had so many things to try and breed with Cookie Monster.
posted by leesh at 11:34 AM on February 7 [2 favorites]


Freddy Krueger and the Ghost have mated too recently.

That's a bit TMI.
posted by Splunge at 11:35 AM on February 7 [3 favorites]


I bred Cookie Monster with Jason Voorhees and got a Hockey Monster. Well played, game, well played.
posted by Catseye at 11:37 AM on February 7 [3 favorites]


Blob and Michael Myers=Mucus Myers.
posted by Splunge at 11:38 AM on February 7 [1 favorite]


You should have filed the appropriate paperwork with the state to become a licenced breeder. Frankly, all you unlicenced breeders should be shut down as is right and proper.

I can only assume you were cramming monsters in all over the place in tiny stables with no regard for proper monster care.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 11:40 AM on February 7 [2 favorites]


I bred Cookie Monster with Jason Voorhees and got a Hockey Monster. Well played, game, well played.

I bred Cookie Monster with Hannibal Lecter and got a Chianti Monster.
posted by leotrotsky at 11:45 AM on February 7 [13 favorites]


You should have filed the appropriate paperwork with the state to become a licenced breeder.

Yep: spam breeding monsters / selling them, asking each seller if they're police, until you can afford the license; after that it's all gravy.

Are there any monsters with special behaviors besides the Blob (which tends to eat its mates) and the Gremlin (which tends to spontaneously produce more Gremlins)?
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 12:01 PM on February 7


Is this the sleep of reason?
posted by Segundus at 12:04 PM on February 7 [5 favorites]


You can probably guess how I got this adorable young skeleprechaun.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 12:08 PM on February 7 [6 favorites]


Is there an end game? or is it just breeding fun monster composites and selling them for fun & profit?
posted by Grither at 12:10 PM on February 7


You should have filed the appropriate paperwork with the state to become a licenced breeder. Frankly, all you unlicenced breeders should be shut down as is right and proper.


That whole process is designed to keep new breeders from entering the market.
posted by nubs at 12:18 PM on February 7 [5 favorites]


Damn straight nubs. We're ... umm ... disrupting the market with unlicensed monsters for sale through my startup's new app iShouldntB
posted by cmfletcher at 12:23 PM on February 7 [13 favorites]


Like Uber, for nightmares.
posted by Catseye at 12:25 PM on February 7 [4 favorites]


Mummy and Count Dracula:

COUNT WRAPULA: LOVE DEATH ALWAYS WHAT! DRINK BLOOD? AWAKEN!
posted by Four Ds at 12:26 PM on February 7


That whole process is designed to keep new breeders from entering the market.

My new disruptive startup, ScareBnB, is looking for funding. Get in on the ground floor!
posted by uncleozzy at 12:29 PM on February 7 [7 favorites]


But Shadmocks only whistle
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:43 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


Congratulations!
You've successfully bred the COOKIE MONSTER and the GREMLIN together.
Their child is a beautiful

MIDNIGHT SNACKER!
I.... this is going to be the most beautiful monster child, I cannot even deal.

COME TO ME MY MURDER FURBY
posted by sciatrix at 12:49 PM on February 7 [14 favorites]


I'm glad it is keyboard-controllable! Didn't realize until a little bit in. Keyboard-controllability makes these kinds of things 500% more playable and comfortable (this is a Science Fact).
posted by inconstant at 1:09 PM on February 7


Except I keep missing monsters since it assumes if you hit a direction key, you don't want the monster. Also Headless Slender Man.

Also REALLY disappointed I couldn't breed said Headless Slender Man with Cookie Monster.
posted by Samizdata at 1:17 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


I'm a little disappointed, to be honest, that I can't breed F2 monsters together for, like, I don't know. GUMBY X MIDNIGHT SNACKER.

My favorite so far might be COOKIE PREDATOR
posted by joyceanmachine at 1:24 PM on February 7 [4 favorites]


Is there an end game? or is it just breeding fun monster composites and selling them for fun & profit?

There's a percentage completion indicator in the stats panel, top right.
So, I guess get that to 100% is the end game.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 1:30 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


Congratulations!
You've successfully bred LEATHERFACE and the EVIL CAR together.
Their child is a beautiful

LEXUS CHAINSAW MASSACRE!

posted by Catseye at 1:34 PM on February 7 [22 favorites]


do i get a palico or not
posted by poffin boffin at 1:39 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


I just sold an unlicensed godzillasaurus. Maybe the real monster here is me.
posted by rewil at 1:43 PM on February 7 [5 favorites]


what kind of garbage truck can't fit a sasquatch
posted by poffin boffin at 1:53 PM on February 7 [6 favorites]


Those fools at the National Board of Monster Breeders! They laughed at my theories! They said I couldn't breed Count Dracula and Freddy Krueger because they were both male! They said I couldn't breed Godzilla and a Gremlin because one was five thousand times bigger than the other! They said I couldn't breed a Giant Ant and an Evil Car because how would that even! Well, I'll show them! I'll show them all! MWAH HAH HAHHAH HAHA!!!!
posted by dannyboybell at 1:55 PM on February 7 [18 favorites]


The blob ate my devil and I really don't feel up to walking the labyrinth again to get another one.
posted by mattamatic at 2:18 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


I bred the chupacabra with The Blob and then released the resulting spawn into the wild.... I'm like those people that release their exotic pets into the Everglades.
posted by Julnyes at 2:23 PM on February 7 [2 favorites]


my voorhead ran away

:/
posted by poffin boffin at 2:44 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


If you offend the caller, does that mean they WERE a cop?
posted by yhbc at 3:14 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


My favorites so far:

Sasquatch + Cookie Monster = Wookie Monster

Hannibal Lector + Cookie Monster = Chianti Monster

Shark + Ghost = Fintasm

Evil Car + Nessie = Nissan

Skeleton + Evil Car = Bonemobile

Evil Car + Count Dracula = Nosferrari
posted by prosopagnosia at 3:27 PM on February 7 [4 favorites]


It tells me the INVISIBLE MAN and the GHOST are mating, but how can we be sure?
posted by nubs at 4:01 PM on February 7 [4 favorites]


It tells me the INVISIBLE MAN and the GHOST are mating, but how can we be sure?

The "OOOOooooohh!"s sound different.
posted by leotrotsky at 4:54 PM on February 7 [2 favorites]


Slenderman + mummy = Slimhotep.

Love it.
posted by ian1977 at 5:00 PM on February 7 [2 favorites]


the INVISIBLE MAN and the GHOST are mating

... and who you gonna call?
posted by The Bellman at 5:27 PM on February 7


My very first try, I combined Hannibal Lecter and the Terminator to make MECHANICAL LECTOR. I love this game already.
posted by showbiz_liz at 5:32 PM on February 7 [4 favorites]


Is Svengoolie in the game? He'd love this game. I played a bit at work and a bit at home. It is a nerd joke generator. I love it. I often try to describe a thing as "imagine x and y got caught in a teleporter accident". This game lets me do that with horny monsters. Thanks universe!
posted by vrakatar at 5:58 PM on February 7 [2 favorites]


I like how positive it is about all the progeny. They are all beautiful. Even the invisible ones.
posted by rewil at 6:07 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


I made a TERCHUCKEN
posted by zippy at 6:13 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


I'm gonna need a bigger truck.
posted by vrakatar at 6:32 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


i don't understand how i suddenly have 3 gremlins instead of the 1 that i caught but i don't like it
posted by poffin boffin at 7:42 PM on February 7 [2 favorites]


Did you get them wet?
posted by Iridic at 7:46 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


I also had to release a couple gremlins, and what does the blob mate with, if anything?
posted by yhbc at 7:48 PM on February 7


I love this game and I love the music, but then I had to turn the music off before I lost my mind and stop playing before I went down a rabbit hole, and so yeah, this may be too great for me to play without losing hours of my life.
posted by davejay at 8:05 PM on February 7


Everything; it doesn't always eat its mate. I usually try to catch 3 of a thing so I can give it a couple of goes.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 8:06 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


These authorities constantly raiding my monster stable are almost turning me into a republican. Keep the gubmint outta my monster breeding facility!!!!!!
posted by ian1977 at 8:19 PM on February 7


You can breed two identical monsters and get a 3rd.
posted by ian1977 at 8:20 PM on February 7


All right, but how is it not called Monster Mashup?
posted by eponym at 9:00 PM on February 7


Evil Car x Ghost = DODGE SPIRIT

I lol'd.
posted by axiom at 9:07 PM on February 7 [4 favorites]


I sold a gothman for over $1000 and I'd do it again.
posted by hydrophonic at 9:14 PM on February 7


PREDATOR x CHUCKY = REDHEADATOR
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 9:20 PM on February 7 [2 favorites]


Gremlins naturally make more of themselves, and (apparently) Blobs sometimes eat their mate. I wonder if any other particular monsters do special things like that?
posted by JHarris at 9:47 PM on February 7


i mated the xenomorph and predator like 2 dozen times and released their spawn every time

i will continue this franchise no matter what the cost to humanity
posted by poffin boffin at 11:13 PM on February 7 [4 favorites]


SHARK x DEVIL = PRINCE OF SHARKNESS
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 12:27 AM on February 8 [3 favorites]


BURNY SLENDERS!
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:59 AM on February 8


EVIL CAR x SHREK = MAXIMUM OGREDRIVE
posted by Berreggnog at 3:58 AM on February 8 [2 favorites]


“A LEATHERMAN? Sounds perfect!”
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:27 AM on February 8


I went out and got a proper monster breeding license and they still raided me? Now I don't believe nuthin'. I'm going to law school.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 6:42 AM on February 8


It makes you wonder who are the true monsters in this game.
posted by nubs at 6:47 AM on February 8 [1 favorite]


Gremlins are fuckin narcs.
At least my blob is well fed.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:04 AM on February 8


GHOST x TERMINATOR = EX-TERMINATOR
posted by hydrophonic at 8:05 AM on February 8 [1 favorite]


I went out and got a proper monster breeding license and they still raided me?

Did you go over your stable limit?
Even with a licence you still need enough stabling.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 9:24 AM on February 8


This IT'S ALIVE is a fearsome crossbreed of Pennywise and Frankenstein. Amazing!

I laughed.
posted by yhbc at 9:58 AM on February 8 [2 favorites]


MUMMY + DINOSAUR = MUMBLECORE
posted by nubs at 10:57 AM on February 8 [1 favorite]


Did you get them wet?

That's a side effect of the mating process.
posted by ryoshu at 11:15 AM on February 8 [2 favorites]


I GOT RAIDED LOST IT ALL
posted by vrakatar at 1:59 PM on February 8


damn i want a stardew valley mod
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:32 PM on February 8


Cookie monster + Evil Car = Cookiecar!
posted by Splunge at 3:22 PM on February 8


My first breed was a Gumby. I demand a refund.
posted by xyzzy at 3:37 PM on February 8 [1 favorite]


I got certified.
posted by vrakatar at 8:02 PM on February 8


DINOSAUR + LEPRECHAUN = BLARNEY THE DINOSAUR!
posted by JohnFromGR at 9:42 AM on February 9 [2 favorites]


GREMLIN x EVIL CAR = AMC GREMLIN
posted by hydrophonic at 11:05 AM on February 9


There's a percentage completion indicator in the stats panel, top right.
So, I guess get that to 100% is the end game.


I'm at about 94% and have cross-bred all the monsters in my stable; I guess there's one or two left that I haven't found yet. A few of them (like the Devil) appear only on or near one specific square of the map
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 12:04 PM on February 9 [1 favorite]


I'm at about 94% and have cross-bred all the monsters in my stable; I guess there's one or two left that I haven't found yet.

I'm nowhere near that level, but I worked out that there are 44 monsters, assuming that each cross produces exactly one result, not depending on order (which I've never found an exception for). If you're missing one monster, you should be able to get to 95.5%.

Be careful that you haven't had any escapes--I had my predator escape before he was fully cross-bred, which threw off my numbers for a while.
posted by Four Ds at 1:36 PM on February 9


I investigated the JavaScript to list all the monsters; I couldn't track down the devil or an anaconda. The tornado was tricky too; I couldn't have found it without looking at the code.

I'm not sure whether to share the monster list or the tornado trick. Thoughts?
posted by Pronoiac at 2:44 PM on February 9


I'm guessing to find the tornado you follow the comments about wind coming from a certain direction in the desert?
posted by tavella at 2:51 PM on February 9


Tornado spoilers!

Yes, walk into the wind a few times.
posted by Pronoiac at 2:54 PM on February 9 [1 favorite]


The Devil only appears at the centre of the Labyrinth. The Anaconda lives in the Jungle in the top right of the woods. There's some flavour text to suggest where.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 3:37 PM on February 9 [1 favorite]


Ah, I'd also forgotten that the Blob had eaten my only Pennywise. Nothing special happens at 100%.

Also,

PENNYWISE x KING KONG = STEPHEN KING KONG
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 10:16 PM on February 9 [1 favorite]


I got all the original monsters! Including:
You skillfully catch THE DEVIL!
THE DEVIL: Hell-o!
posted by Pronoiac at 10:35 PM on February 9 [2 favorites]


Thanks for the tornado tip, & tavella! That one was eluding me.
posted by talking leaf at 11:32 PM on February 9


So where is Pennywise? The City or Suburb, I’d assume.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:28 PM on February 10


Yes, his storm drain is on one of the cross streets in the Suburb.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 6:59 PM on February 10


the blob ate my pennywise and i cheered that good blob pal
posted by poffin boffin at 7:44 PM on February 10


Hmm, I've got 44 monsters, but I'm not sure I'm up to breeding all 990 variants...
posted by tavella at 11:49 PM on February 10


Do released hybrids breed with wild monsters?
posted by vrakatar at 6:59 PM on February 12


i didn't play for 2 days and i came back to 5 gremlins

how do i uninstall gremlins.exe
posted by poffin boffin at 7:30 PM on February 12


I used my spare gremlins to get around the refractory period on breeding sooner, and then once I'd crossed gremlins with everything I kicked 'em all out.
posted by rewil at 10:17 AM on February 13 [2 favorites]


Ok, remember when there was the FPP about the graphing website that tracked the top Patreons? Wasn't one of the very top one an ahem, adult game with a very similar name, about breeding monsters? I honestly was wondering why a H-game was getting a FPP when I saw this title.
posted by Canageek at 10:39 AM on February 13


Giant Ant + Jason Voorhees = Giant Camp Counsellor Eating Ant.
posted by MattWPBS at 11:00 AM on February 13


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