Because I do not care to enlarge my menagerie of pets...

February 18, 2018 10:22 PM

In 1889, Tit-Bits magazine offered prizes to single, female readers who sent in the best answers to the question: ‘Why Am I A Spinster?’ Here are some highlights... [sl twitter thread]

@DigiVictorian is Dr Bob Nicholson, Senior lecturer in history at Edge Hill University in Ormskirk, Lancashire and has been linked previously.

posted by Freelance Demiurge (22 comments total)

So an 8-fucking-year-old Emaline Lawrence had the best description of men, ever, for all time:
...men, like three-cornered tarts, are deceitful. They are very pleasing to the eye, but on closer acquaintanceship prove hollow and stale, consisting chiefly of puff, with a minimum of sweetness, and an unconquerable propensity to disagree with one.
"Consisting chiefly of puff" is my new go-to dis.
posted by chococat at 11:03 PM on February 18, 2018 [31 favorites]

8 is the house number, not her age.
posted by datawrangler at 11:05 PM on February 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

ah, I'm an idiot. Hollow and stale.
posted by chococat at 11:12 PM on February 18, 2018 [12 favorites]

As long as you aren’t three-cornered there is still hope, unlike the men of 1889. Some snappy replies in there. Thanks for posting, Freelance Demiurge.
posted by datawrangler at 11:17 PM on February 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

I thought the numbers were ages, too. And thought "Dang, calling yourself a spinster in your teens is kinda funny but hopefully not too real?"
posted by ikea_femme at 11:40 PM on February 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

Tit-Bits Magazine?!
posted by minervous at 12:07 AM on February 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

Oh.
Huh.
Tit-Bits (...) Magazine.
posted by minervous at 12:08 AM on February 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

I'm certain that the letter from "Annie Newton" is fake. It's remarkable how monotonously similar misogynistic and classist humor has remained through the centuries. "Ha ha ha! They can't spell! And have ideas above their stations! Ha ha ha! And hope for a better future! Ha ha ha *choke*" Honestly, the revolution can't come soon enough.
posted by Kattullus at 12:20 AM on February 19, 2018 [9 favorites]

Kattullus - I read that letter as being from a woman and being a pretty scathing satire of that exact kind of humour, especially in the context of the other letters.
posted by parm at 1:55 AM on February 19, 2018 [4 favorites]

parm, I hope so but that letter made me doubt the authenticity of the entire thing.
posted by Omnomnom at 4:53 AM on February 19, 2018

Reading a little further down the twitter thread, at least one of them is matched against a census record (showing that she did, in fact, go on to marry), so I shouldn't think they're all fake.

Also... Tit-Bits Magazine?!: Perhaps it's easier to think of it as the more-USian "Tidbits"...
posted by Hal Mumkin at 5:08 AM on February 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

Setterar? dook? erie? (headscratch)

I liked the one from Florence Watts. When married women with children talk to me about their lives I am usually aghast - most of them work 40+ hours and put in a second shift at home, and in general their husbands seem oblivious to this. (I live in a pretty conservative area and most people here aren't hip to emotional labor).
posted by bunderful at 5:54 AM on February 19, 2018 [6 favorites]

Tit-Bits Magazine?!

In reading the wiki on the magazine, I see it was a British publication devoted to publishing a variety of random bits of knowledge/information. As such, I'm going to assume "tit-bits" is their version of the term "tid-bits" used here in the US.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:08 AM on February 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

Setterar? dook? erie? (headscratch)

The writer is affecting the accent and malapropisms/mispellings that they imagine a cook might have.

setterar: et cetera
dook: duke
erie erle: earl
posted by zamboni at 6:55 AM on February 19, 2018 [4 favorites]

As such, I'm going to assume "tit-bits" is their version of the term "tid-bits" used here in the US.

Yes, they're both old and well attested versions of the same word. "Tit", here, like "tid", refers to the "tender" quality of a piece of food (etc.), rather than being a variant spelling of "teat".
posted by howfar at 10:44 AM on February 19, 2018 [6 favorites]

This made my day!
posted by roolya_boolya at 1:28 PM on February 19, 2018

"Matrimonial lasso" is gonna be my new name for engagement rings.
posted by paisley sheep at 2:16 PM on February 19, 2018 [6 favorites]

Kattullus: "I'm certain that the letter from "Annie Newton" is fake. It's remarkable how monotonously similar misogynistic and classist humor has remained through the centuries. "Ha ha ha! They can't spell! And have ideas above their stations! Ha ha ha! And hope for a better future! Ha ha ha *choke*" Honestly, the revolution can't come soon enough."

I hope that sometime in 2250, there's people getting trolled by Metafilter posts. I'm sure the letter writer would have been delighted by your outrage. Not that I disagree with you; it's just an amusing situation.
posted by TypographicalError at 6:19 PM on February 19, 2018

I believe that "tit-bits" is still the correct and preferred version in the UK, but I could also just be watching television programmes for old and stuffy types.
posted by elsietheeel at 7:25 PM on February 19, 2018

Also I am still a spinster because I am old and stuffy and still watch television programmes that use phrases like "tit-bits".
posted by elsietheeel at 7:27 PM on February 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

Teat-Bits is of course the industry journal for dairy machinery
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:59 PM on February 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

From the wiki page for Tit-Bits: the Daily Mail was founded by Alfred Harmsworth, a contributor to Tit-Bits

... so it looks like Tit-Bits is to blame?
posted by trif at 2:55 AM on February 20, 2018 [1 favorite]