"All of Harry Potter, but keep Alan Rickman"
July 16, 2018 5:50 PM   Subscribe

Saturday, July 14 2018. Tweet to Film Critic HULK: "You can replace the cast of any movie with The Muppets, but you keep one of the human actors. What movie and which human do you keep?"

Monday, July 16 2018. After several hundred retweets and shares ... People Are Hilariously Replacing Movie Casts With Muppets, Except 1 Human Actor - Jenna Amatulli, Huffpost US
posted by ZeusHumms (371 comments total) 27 users marked this as a favorite
 
Ricky Gervais once suggested Schindler's List be made with the muppets. Karl Pilkington said stuff.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 5:56 PM on July 16


Miller's Crossing, keep Gabriel Byrne.
posted by komara at 5:58 PM on July 16 [4 favorites]


Aliens: Sigourney Weaver.
posted by Fizz at 5:58 PM on July 16 [6 favorites]


"All of Harry Potter, but keep Alan Rickman"

"All of Die Hard, but keep Alan Rickman" would be super dark!
posted by Celsius1414 at 5:59 PM on July 16 [20 favorites]


The Day The Clown Cried.

Anyone BUT Jerry Lewis.
posted by delfin at 6:00 PM on July 16


"The Truman Show, keep Jim Carrey" was my favorite
posted by Emmy Rae at 6:00 PM on July 16 [40 favorites]


Jaws: Murray Hamilton (the mayor).
posted by Fizz at 6:01 PM on July 16


12 Angry Men. Keep Henry Fonda.
posted by duffell at 6:03 PM on July 16 [9 favorites]


All of Apocalypse Now, but keep Martin Sheen.
posted by Old Kentucky Shark at 6:03 PM on July 16 [5 favorites]


Gravity, but keep Sandra Bullock
Jodorowsky's Dune, but keep Jodorowsky
posted by Wobbuffet at 6:03 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Alien, but keep John Hurt.
posted by pykrete jungle at 6:04 PM on July 16 [9 favorites]


"All of Die Hard, but keep Alan Rickman" would be super dark!

I posted exactly that in response. My suggestions for the rest of the cast.

Kermit as McClane.
Piggy as Holly.
Fozzy as Al.
Guy Smiley as Thornburg.
Gonzo as Ellis.
Sam the Eagle as Takagi.
Doctor Teeth as Argyle.
Sweetums as Big Johnson.
Rizzo as Little Johnson.
Animal as Karl.

Also, BOUND, keeping Joe Pantoliano.
posted by brundlefly at 6:04 PM on July 16 [8 favorites]


American Psycho. Keep Christian Bale.
posted by duffell at 6:04 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Casablanca: Keep Peter Lorre.
The Maltese Falcon: Keep Peter Lorre.
Arsenic and Old Lace: Keep Peter Lorre.
M: Keep Peter Lorre.
posted by jim in austin at 6:06 PM on July 16 [38 favorites]


MetaFilter: Keep Peter Lorre
posted by brundlefly at 6:07 PM on July 16 [26 favorites]


Inception, but keep Marion Cotillard. Also with each deeper jump the muppet’s puppeteers become muppets themselves
posted by oulipian at 6:07 PM on July 16 [55 favorites]


My favourite that I've seen was "The Matrix, but everyone outside the matrix is a Muppet", which admittedly breaks the rules but would be an amazing movie.

"The Truman Show, keep Jim Carey" would be pretty great, too.

My suggestions:
The Prestige, keep exactly one of the twins
Return of the Jedi, keep the stormtrooper who smacked their head on the door.
posted by metaBugs at 6:07 PM on July 16 [13 favorites]


Real Genius, and keep William Atherton.
posted by angeline at 6:08 PM on July 16 [11 favorites]


Eyes Wide Shut, keep Tom Cruise (not mine, but my favorite I’ve seen so far)
posted by brand-gnu at 6:08 PM on July 16


The Thing, keep The Thing
posted by metaBugs at 6:10 PM on July 16 [8 favorites]


The Empire Strikes Back, but keep Yoda.
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:10 PM on July 16 [41 favorites]


Big, keep Tom Hanks
Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle, keep Neil Patrick Harris
posted by 23skidoo at 6:10 PM on July 16 [4 favorites]


My Dinner With Andre, keep Wally Shawn.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:12 PM on July 16 [4 favorites]


Wicker Man, keep Cage.
posted by Groundhog Week at 6:13 PM on July 16 [8 favorites]


The Empire Strikes Back, but keep Yoda.

The Empire Strikes Back, but Yoda is played by Frank Oz.

I just suggested "Secretary" to my wife, which is pretty bad, but then she said "keep Maggie Gyllenhaal and the boss is played by Fozzie" and that's so much worse.
posted by duffell at 6:13 PM on July 16 [47 favorites]


Avengers: Infinity War, keep Groot.

Pulp Fiction, keep Samuel L. Jackson.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, keep Ricardo Montalban.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:14 PM on July 16 [8 favorites]


Fargo, keep Frances McDormand
Glengarry Glen Ross, keep Jack Lemmon
M Night Shyamalan's The Happening but keep no one, GO FULL MUPPET
posted by halation at 6:14 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


The Cornetto Trilogy, keep Simon Pegg across the board. The gunfight in Hot Fuzz (heh) would be amazing.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:15 PM on July 16 [8 favorites]


Tron, keep Barnard Hughes. Alternately, like the Matrix have everyone inside or outside the computer be muppets. I keep going back and forth on which one would be better.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:15 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Buckaroo Banzai, keep Jeff Goldblum.
posted by Catblack at 6:16 PM on July 16 [18 favorites]


Boogie Nights, keep Philip Seymour Hoffman.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:17 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


The Blues Brothers, keep John Candy.
posted by nickmark at 6:18 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Back to the Future trilogy, keep Thomas F. Wilson.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:18 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Lindsay Ellis' suggestion is quite nice too.
posted by Groundhog Week at 6:18 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Any "who is really human" movie works well:

Blade Runner, but keep Sean Young.
12 Monkeys, but keep Bruce Willis.
Brazil, but keep Jonathan Pryce.
The Muppet Christmas Carol, but keep Michael Caine.
posted by Paragon at 6:19 PM on July 16 [5 favorites]


Pink Flamingos, keep the Singing Asshole
posted by delfin at 6:19 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Miss Congeniality, keep Sandra Bullock
Blade Runner, keep Sean Young
Mulholland Drive, keep only one of the Naomi Watts characters
Blue Velvet, keep Laura Dern

(during edit window: oh no Paragon, you sniped me!)

(also: YES to Eyes Wide Shut, keep Tom Cruise)
posted by kandinski at 6:20 PM on July 16


Ghostbusters, would you keep Venkman or Dana?
posted by condour75 at 6:20 PM on July 16


Miller's Crossing, keep Gabriel Byrne.

Sweetums as Caspar's big goon, yess. Jesus, Tom!

Also, Barton Fink, keep John Goodman, Scooter as Barton.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:21 PM on July 16


Blade, keep Wesley Snipes. Or Kris Kristofferson. Either one has pros and cons, really.
posted by mstokes650 at 6:21 PM on July 16


Also, from the Twitter thread: heh.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:21 PM on July 16


Twin Peaks: The Return, keep David Lynch.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:22 PM on July 16 [5 favorites]


Blade Runner, keep Rutger Hauer

Deckard: Kermit
Rachel: Piggy
Pris: Janice
Zhora: Gonzo
Zhora's Snake: A Chicken
Leon: Sweetums
Tyrell: Bunsen Honeydew
Chew (eye guy): Beaker
J.F. Sebastian: Rizzo
Gaff: Sam the Eagle
Holden: Robin
Bryant: Dr. Teeth
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 6:22 PM on July 16 [12 favorites]


Ghostbusters, would you keep Venkman or Dana?

There is no Dana...
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:22 PM on July 16 [4 favorites]


Tarkovsky's Solaris but keep George Clooney.

Ghost In The Shell live-action but keep ScarJo.

Koyaanisqatsi but keep one random guy in one of the crowd scenes.

Lynch's Dune but keep the pug.

The Big Lebowski but keep Steve Buscemi.

Annihilation but all the muppets have infinity-oroborous tattoos.

Oldboy but keep the squid.
posted by glonous keming at 6:23 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Ghostbusters, would you keep Venkman or Dana?

Neither, keep Rick Moranis.
posted by mstokes650 at 6:23 PM on July 16 [15 favorites]


I will go to my grave fighting for this tenet of this game:

Any Keanu Reeves movie, leaving Keanu, is cheating.
posted by Etrigan at 6:24 PM on July 16 [13 favorites]


Last Tango In Paris, keep the butter.
posted by doubtfulpalace at 6:24 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Masters of the Universe (He-Man) but keep the actor who played Skeletor.
posted by Groundhog Week at 6:24 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Wait no for Twin Peaks you keep Harry Goaz.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:24 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Ghostbusters, would you keep Venkman or Dana?

Neither, keep Rick Moranis. Annie Potts


FTFY.
posted by Fizz at 6:25 PM on July 16 [16 favorites]


Swimming to Cambodia, keep Spalding Gray.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 6:25 PM on July 16 [5 favorites]


Twin Peaks: The Return, keep David Lynch.

Well shit if we're doing tv then I'd like to see The Americans, keep Noah Emmerich.
posted by duffell at 6:25 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


jurassic park, keep goldblum, the dinosaurs are also muppets
posted by poffin boffin at 6:25 PM on July 16 [10 favorites]


Se7en. Keep Morgan Freeman.
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:27 PM on July 16


the dinosaurs are also muppets

clearly they should all be Gonzo's chickens
Camilla The Chicken gets to be the lead velociraptor, i'm sure she's a clever girl
posted by halation at 6:27 PM on July 16 [12 favorites]


One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, keep Nurse Ratched.
posted by Old Kentucky Shark at 6:28 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Mad Max: Fury Road but keep Immortan Joe.
posted by chinesefood at 6:28 PM on July 16 [6 favorites]


Se7en, keep Brad Pitt. (God, but either Morgan Freeman or Kevin Spacey would be good too.)
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 6:30 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Mad Max: Fury Road but keep Immortan Joe

but that would be such a missed opportunity when you could have him played by statler and/or waldorf (preferably 'and')
posted by halation at 6:30 PM on July 16 [10 favorites]


(Darn. Sniped.)
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 6:31 PM on July 16


Being John Malkovich.

Keep John Malkovich.
posted by FJT at 6:32 PM on July 16 [14 favorites]


I see Silence of the Lambs keeping Foster mentioned in the link, so I'll choose the same film but keep Levine.
posted by audi alteram partem at 6:33 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Mad Max: Fury Road but keep Immortan Joe

but that would be such a missed opportunity when you could have him played by statler and/or waldorf (preferably 'and')


Or Gonzo (tm someone else)
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:33 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Streetcar Named Desire; Keep Vivien Leigh.
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:34 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


The Prestige keeping Christian Bale, but only half of the time.
posted by bigge at 6:34 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Wag The Dog, Dustin Hoffman
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:34 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Roadhouse, keep Ben Gazarra.
posted by Ferreous at 6:35 PM on July 16


Excalibur keep Merlin (Nicol Williamson).
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:35 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Caligula keep Helen Mirren.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:36 PM on July 16 [5 favorites]


Miller's Crossing, keep Gabriel Byrne.

The Usual Suspects, keep Gabriel Byrne.
posted by solotoro at 6:36 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Oh jeez - Friday the 13th but keep the guy who plays Jason.
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:37 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Nolan's Batman trilogy, keep Oldman.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:38 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Eraserhead, keep no one
posted by Ferreous at 6:38 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Pink Flamingos, keep the Singing Asshole

Liam Gallagher was in Pink Flamingos?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:39 PM on July 16 [5 favorites]


Top Gun keep Meg Ryan.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:40 PM on July 16 [6 favorites]


The Greatest Story Ever Told keep John Wayne.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:41 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


The Florida Project, keep Brooklynn Prince, if you want some real extreme delighted-to-devastated emotional whiplash.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:41 PM on July 16


The Last Temptation of Christ. Toss up between Brabara Hershey and Bowie.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:42 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Can we do TV shows?

Psych: keep Dulé Hill
Westworld: keep ... oh wow there are a lot of great options. Let's go with Thandie Newton.
M.A.S.H.: keep Alan Alda
posted by ODiV at 6:42 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Shawshank Redemption, keep Tim Robbins.
posted by fings at 6:42 PM on July 16


The Mummy (1999) and the sequel, keep John Hannah.
posted by Freeze Peach at 6:43 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Friends, keep Gunther.
posted by Emmy Rae at 6:43 PM on July 16 [4 favorites]


Sneakers but keep Robert Redford

Short Circuit but keep the robot and add a POC* instead of Fisher Stevens.



* puppet of color
posted by Barack Spinoza at 6:45 PM on July 16 [4 favorites]


All James Bond movies with Judy Dench, keep Dench.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:45 PM on July 16 [9 favorites]


Full Metal Jacket. Vince D’Nofrio or R Lee Emery?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:45 PM on July 16


Captain EO: keep Michael Jackson
posted by ODiV at 6:46 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Deep Space Nine, keep Andrew J. Robinson.
posted by googly at 6:47 PM on July 16 [6 favorites]


Every Van Damme Movie. Keep the JCVD.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:47 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Predator, keep the Predator.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:48 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Jaws is really hard.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:49 PM on July 16


Juno, keep JK Simmons.
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:49 PM on July 16


Juno, keep JK Simmons.

Same for those Spider-Man movies.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:50 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Showgirls, keep Kyle Maclachlan.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:51 PM on July 16 [7 favorites]


Read the post, not me.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:51 PM on July 16


Fast and the Furious franchise. Keep Tyrese Gibson.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:53 PM on July 16


The West Wing, keep Janel Moloney.
posted by gracenote at 6:53 PM on July 16 [6 favorites]


The Saddest Music in the World, keep Mark McKinney, Miss Piggy would be amazing in the Isabella Rossellini role.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:53 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Talia Lavin: lord of the rings but keep elijah wood, making tragic eyes at nazgul muppets

Someone also pointed out that if you do Face/Off and keep Cage or Travolta, someone would be swapping faces with a muppet. If that's not a solid use of 21st century CGI, I don't know what is.
posted by grandiloquiet at 6:54 PM on July 16 [18 favorites]


Jaws isn't hard. Keep the shark.
posted by jenkinsEar at 6:56 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


2001 -- keep the monolith
posted by philip-random at 6:56 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


The Lost Boys, keep Corey Haim.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:57 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Neon Genesis Evangelion, keep Unit 01. Keeping Adam also works.

The Wire, keep Snot Boogie.

The Expanse, keep Amos.

Any of the movies on those special channels with titles like Hot Greasy MILFs Slobber On The Ginormous Willies Of Their Stepsons While At The Doctor's Office In Prison, just start slowly replacing people with muppets in a way that the remaining humans are aware of it yet also unaware until the last human standing finally has the right amount of insanity to utter the incantation that summons the Old Ones. Keep Nyarlathotep.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 6:58 PM on July 16 [6 favorites]


Amadeus, keep Tom Hulce.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:59 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


The Last Dragon, keep Julius Carry.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:59 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Rushmore, keep Olivia Williams.
posted by lauranesson at 6:59 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


The Devil Wears Prada, keep Stanley Tucci.
posted by Iris Gambol at 7:02 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Spider-Man: Homecoming. Keep Donald Glover.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:03 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Cannonball Run, keep Dom DeLuise would be such a good Muppets movie.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:08 PM on July 16 [9 favorites]


Forrest Gump, but keep Robin Wright.

Beetlejuice, but keep Winona Ryder.
posted by tantrumthecat at 7:09 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Trainspotting keep Tommy’s girlfriend Liz. Mostly just for the sextape.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 7:13 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Clue, keep Tim Curry.
Total Recall, keep Arnold Schwarzenegger.
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, keep Eli Wallach.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 7:13 PM on July 16 [6 favorites]


Casablanca: Keep Peter Lorre.
The Maltese Falcon: Keep Peter Lorre.
Arsenic and Old Lace: Keep Peter Lorre.
M: Keep Peter Lorre.


Doesn't count- Peter Lorre is a Muppet.


The Big Lebowski, keep Jeff Bridges
Raising Arizona, keep Nicolas Cage
Snowpiercer, keep Tilda Swinton
Orlando, keep Tilda Swinton
Blue Velvet, keep Kyle MacLachlan
Showgirls, keep Kyle MacLachlan
Starship Troopers, keep Neil Patrick Harris
Full Metal Jacket, keep R. Lee Ermey
Rogue One, keep Felicity Jones
Solo, keep Emilia Clarke
Videodrome, keep James Woods
Naked Lunch, keep Peter Weller
The Blues Brothers, keep Carrie Fisher
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:13 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


The Warriors, keep Lynne Thigpen.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:14 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


I see Silence of the Lambs keeping Foster mentioned in the link, so I'll choose the same film but keep Levine.

And miss out on Gonzo doing the Goodbye Horses dance? Keep Buffalo Bill's pet dog.

Speaking of Bill, Kill Bill (both volumes) but keep Gogo Yubari. And, hmm, Pai Mei in V.2.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:15 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


The Blues Brothers, keep Carrie Fisher

I love this.
posted by Emmy Rae at 7:15 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Regarding Henry keep Harrison Ford (or JJ Abrams)
posted by mrgroweler at 7:17 PM on July 16


I feel I should warn everyone who's named a movie with explicit sex in it that they've basically made a sequel to Meet the Feebles.
posted by Cash4Lead at 7:17 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


For Fury Road, Uncle Deadly would obviously be Immortan Joe. Statler and Waldorf would be the Bullet Farmer and the People Eater.

You would keep Charlize Theron.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:18 PM on July 16 [4 favorites]


Se7en, keep Gwyneth Paltrow.
posted by MoonOrb at 7:18 PM on July 16 [6 favorites]


Also: Rashomon, but every character's story changes who is the human and who are the Muppets.
posted by Cash4Lead at 7:18 PM on July 16 [35 favorites]


I am now living a delightful fantasy wherein Miss Piggy is Umbridge and I love it
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:19 PM on July 16 [5 favorites]


I can't believe I'm the first to mention this one, shamelessly stolen from Reddit:
Blazing Saddles! Keep Cleavon Little as Sheriff Bart because I think he'd be a terrific straight man with Muppets
  • Kermit as the Waco Kid
  • Gonzo as Hedley Lamarr
  • Miss Piggy as Lili von Shtupp
  • Dr Teeth and the band as Taggart and his gang
  • Fozzie as Gov. William J. Le Petomane
  • Swedish Chef, Statler and Waldorf as the various townspeople Johnson
  • Animal as Mongo (solely for the "pawn" line reading)
  • Sam Eagle as the Dom Deluise director character in the finale
posted by teraflop at 7:20 PM on July 16 [8 favorites]


Highlander, keep Clancy Brown, Gonzo is Ramirez.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:21 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Fight Club: Keep Meat Loaf.
posted by Jonathan Livengood at 7:21 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


I think there's kind of rules to this. You have to keep someone who'd be incredibly game to work with muppets (Peter Lorre, Jeff Goldblum, Sandra Bullock, Tim Curry) or would make a perfect straight-man foil to them (it's why Alan Rickman keeps coming up).
posted by gusandrews at 7:22 PM on July 16 [9 favorites]


Get Carter: Keep Michael Caine
posted by MoonOrb at 7:23 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Like "the Matrix, keep Hugo Weaving" is perfect, and it's maybe the same reason it should be Hugo Weaving in Cloud Atlas as well
posted by gusandrews at 7:24 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Harvey, keep James Stewart
The Lovely Bones, keep Stanley Tucci
Superman 3, keep Richard Pryor
Office Space, keep Ron Livingstone
Drive, keep Carey Mulligan
Ikiru, keep Takashi Shimura
Street Fighter The Movie, keep Raul Julia
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 7:24 PM on July 16 [4 favorites]


The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Keep the Criminologist.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:25 PM on July 16 [4 favorites]


Meet The Feebles: every character is played by the cast of Lord of the Rings except the nebbishy hero
posted by gusandrews at 7:25 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


I think there's kind of rules to this. You have to keep someone who'd be incredibly game to work with muppets (Peter Lorre, Jeff Goldblum, Sandra Bullock, Tim Curry) or would make a perfect straight-man foil to them (it's why Alan Rickman keeps coming up).

Or if the movie has a character alienated from the world around them in some way, making the rest of the cast Muppets is too on the nose but at the same time perfect cause Muppets.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:25 PM on July 16 [8 favorites]


Full Metal Jacket, keep R. Lee Ermey
posted by MoonOrb at 7:26 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


I think another rule at work here might be a Muppet Show rule: the guests were not as often the main character in a bit as Muppets were, so the human character tends to play a supporting role?
posted by gusandrews at 7:27 PM on July 16 [5 favorites]


Ikiru, keep Takashi Shimura

Seven Samurai, keep Takashi Shimura
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:27 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


8 Mile, keep Eminem.
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 7:28 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Sid & Nancy. Keep Gary Oldman.
posted by heyho at 7:28 PM on July 16


Amadeus, keep Tom Hulce.

Oh no no this requires a young Rowlf as Mozart
posted by Space Coyote at 7:30 PM on July 16 [9 favorites]


Hoosiers, keep the guy who played Jimmy Chitwood
posted by MoonOrb at 7:31 PM on July 16


Stop or My Mom Will Shoot, keep Estelle Getty
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 7:32 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


O Brother, Where Art Thou - keep Holly Hunter.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 7:32 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Wait, there's an exception to the Hugo Weaving trend -- in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert you'd have to keep Terrence Stamp because Stamp, oddly, was playing the... straight man role. Like, whoever's nose is gonna get the most bent out of shape by Muppet shenanigans is the one you keep.
posted by gusandrews at 7:34 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


The Fast and the Furious series, keep Vin Diesel
posted by Rinku at 7:35 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Keep Spencer Tracy.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:36 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Also he's the only one with a real car
posted by Rinku at 7:36 PM on July 16 [8 favorites]


Actually, I would probably switch my Raising Arizona recommendation to keep Holly Hunter as well. Because there probably is a Nicolas Cage muppet out there somewhere.


Also, in the Muppet Seven Samurai, obviously Animal plays Kikuchiyo.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:36 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Beyond the Green Door, Keep Marylin Chambers
posted by PinkMoose at 7:38 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


The Princess Bride. Keep Andre the Giant.
posted by meinvt at 7:38 PM on July 16 [8 favorites]


I kind of think that "X but keep the star" really isn't interesting
posted by mbo at 7:41 PM on July 16 [6 favorites]


I finally just read this whole thread and found that I was the third person to suggest Se7en and all of us wanted to keep someone different.
posted by MoonOrb at 7:42 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Kill Bills. Janice as Beatrix, keep Daryl Hannah as Elle.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 7:42 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Actually just remake 30 Rock with all the people as muppets as they appeared in Kenneth's head. Keep Tracy Jordan
posted by Space Coyote at 7:42 PM on July 16 [9 favorites]


I'd legit love The Hudsucker Proxy, keep Jennifer Jason Leigh as much if not more than the original, which is a lot. Sam the Eagle as Mussburger (sure, sure), Fozzie as Hudsucker, Rowlf as Chief, Gonzo as Buzz? I need this movie.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:42 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


I already shared this in the DUNE thread -

DUNE. Keep Sting.

and the flying underwear is now decorated to look like one of Gonzo's chickens.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:43 PM on July 16 [5 favorites]


Fight Club - keep Jared Leto
posted by nickthetourist at 7:43 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Down With Love, keep David Hyde Pierce.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:44 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Queer Eye reboot - keep Jonathan
posted by Emmy Rae at 7:45 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Magic Mike but keep Dallas.
posted by TemporaryTurtle at 7:50 PM on July 16


Saving Private Ryan- keep Tom Hanks
The Lego Movie - keep Will Farrell.
Elf - keep James Caan
Casablanca - keep Claude Rains
posted by "mad dan" eccles at 7:52 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


In The Loop, keep Peter Capaldi.

It's just him yelling at Muppets.
posted by greenland at 7:52 PM on July 16 [16 favorites]


Imagine I am doing the expanding brain meme:
Die Hard: keep Bruce Willis
Die Hard: keep Alan Rickman
Die Hard: keep William Atherton
Die Hard: keep Al Leong
posted by ckape at 7:52 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


It's a Wonderful Life. Keep Lionel Barrymore (Mr. Potter).
Back to the Future. Keep Christopher Lloyd.
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. Keep Peter Bull.
American Beauty. Keep Chris Cooper.
Good Will Hunting. Keep Robin Williams.
posted by meinvt at 7:54 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


I think that "X but keep Tilda Swinton" is a pretty solid rule. (Narnia especially)
posted by schmod at 7:57 PM on July 16 [4 favorites]


Surely the darkest timeline would be the Muppet Show, with all the muppets replaced by humans, and the one human replaced by a muppet.
posted by blue_beetle at 7:57 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Broadcast News - keep Albert Brooks
The Sting - keep Robert Shaw
posted by pixlboi at 7:57 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Doctor Strangelove, keep Lionel Mandrake
The Godfather, keep Diane Keaton
Annie Hall, keep Diane Keaton
Halloween, Mike Meyers is the human but he's played by Mike Myers
posted by PlusDistance at 7:58 PM on July 16 [5 favorites]


Airplane!, keep Kareem Abdul Jabbar
posted by schmod at 8:01 PM on July 16 [6 favorites]


Bottle Rocket, keep James Caan
Rushmore, keep Brian Cox
The Life Aquatic, keep the bond company stooge.
Fantastic Mr. Fox, only George Clooney is a real person.
The Royal Tenenbaums, keep Gene Hackman
Moonrise Kingdom, keep Bruce Willis
Grand Budapest Hotel, keep Ralph Feinnes
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:01 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Dog Day Afternoon, keep John Cazale
posted by cazoo at 8:02 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


The Last Waltz, keep Levon Helm
posted by 23skidoo at 8:02 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


My Cousin Vinny, keep Fred Gwynne.
posted by schmod at 8:03 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Mean Streets, keep Harvey Keitel.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:04 PM on July 16


Grand Budapest Hotel, keep Ralph Feinnes

Clearly Grand Budapest Hotel but keep Saoirse Ronan.
posted by Special Agent Dale Cooper at 8:05 PM on July 16


Today's Helsinki press conference, keep Putin.
posted by PlusDistance at 8:08 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Fight Club. Keep Edward Norton. Fozzie is Tyler Durden.



Marla: "You're going to have to keep me up all night..."
Tyler: "Woka, Woka!"
posted by 4ster at 8:10 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


I think that "X but keep Tilda Swinton" is a pretty solid rule. (Narnia especially)

You gotta keep Keanu in Constantine. Miss Piggy as archangel Tilda, Fozzie as sidekick Shia LaBoeuf, Rosita (from Sesame Street) as cop Rachel Weisz, Kermit as that poor psychic priest who is killed by Gwen Stefani's demon ex. (The demon ex will be a very dark portrayal by Gonzo. Animal and Pepe the Prawn will also appear as demons.) Apparently there's already a Muppet devil, so that's Peter Stormare's Lucifer taken care of...

If you want to get rid of Keanu in something, I'd keep Patrick Swayze in Point Break.
posted by grandiloquiet at 8:14 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


John Wick, keep Keanu.
posted by tocts at 8:14 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


The Life Aquatic, keep the bond company stooge.

Also works well keeping Willem Dafoe, and is delightful keeping Jeff Goldblum.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:15 PM on July 16


Wicker Man, keep Cage.

You mean Woodward!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:15 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


I think that "X but keep Tilda Swinton" is a pretty solid rule. (Narnia especially)

You gotta keep Keanu in Constantine.


And Tom Wilkinson in Michael Clayton.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:16 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


The Descent but keep the cave monsters.

The Shining, keep Scatman Crothers.
posted by Special Agent Dale Cooper at 8:18 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Spirited Away, keeping Chihiro, turns vaguely into Labyrinth.
posted by wanderingmind at 8:18 PM on July 16


The Magnificent Seven, keep Yul Brynner.

The Sound of Music, keep Christopher Plummer and watch him slowly go mad.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:18 PM on July 16 [4 favorites]


Lord of the Rings, keep Ian McKellen.
posted by Special Agent Dale Cooper at 8:20 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


The Dark Knight: keep Aaron Eckhart
I, Robot: keep Will Smith
Police Academy series: keep Michael Winslow
Zombieland: keep Bill Murray
Pineapple Express: keep Danny McBride
The Prestige: one of the twins
posted by ckape at 8:25 PM on July 16


Raiders of the Lost Ark
but keep the late Ronald William Lacey (as creepy Nazi villain Major Arnold “Hot Palm” Toht)

(Can’t you already hear Rizzo and his hundreds of brothers singing a work chant as they’re digging in the wrong place?)
posted by Barack Spinoza at 8:27 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Beetlejuice, keep Winona Ryder
Heathers, keep Winona Ryder
Bram Stoker's Dracula, keep Winona Ryder
Girl, Interrupted, keep Winona Ryder
Stranger Things, keep Winona Ryder
posted by Pryde at 8:28 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


And it's a difficult choice, but keep John Malkovich in Burn After Reading.
posted by grandiloquiet at 8:28 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Young Frankenstein, keeping the monster.
posted by wanderingmind at 8:30 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Funny Games (American version), keep Naomi Watts
posted by coolxcool=rad at 8:35 PM on July 16


2012, Woody Harrelson
2010, Helen Mirren
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:35 PM on July 16


Audition, keep Eihi Shiina.
posted by axiom at 8:40 PM on July 16


Being There, keep Richard Dysart
Head, keep Mike Nesmith
Best in Show, keep Catherine O'Hara
Shaft (1971), keep Moses Gunn
posted by droplet at 8:45 PM on July 16


Fever Pitch, keep Drew Barrymore.

10 Things I Hate About You, keep Julia Stiles.

The Fog of War, keep Robert Mcnamara (including reshooting archival footage with muppets).

Old Joy, keep Bonnie Prince Billy.
posted by Special Agent Dale Cooper at 8:46 PM on July 16 [8 favorites]


Ocean’s 11, keep Brad Pitt
The English Patient, keep Ralph Fiennes
Dr. Strange, keep Benedict Cumberbatch
posted by castlebravo at 8:48 PM on July 16


L.A. Confidential, keep Danny DeVito.

(added to the twitterthread first because lemmings gotta lemming)
posted by datawrangler at 8:49 PM on July 16


Jumanji, David Allen Grier
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:52 PM on July 16


Love Actually, keep Hugh Grant, Alan Rickman, and Laura Linney.

Alternately, ditch Hugh and Alan for Emma Thompson. Basically o don't want any scenes where humans interact.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:53 PM on July 16


Evita, Antonio Banderas.
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:54 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Swimming with Sharks, keep Jeffrey Katzenberg.
Intolerable Cruelty, keep Jeffrey Katzenberg.
Tropic Thunder, keep Jeffrey Katzenberg.

Hm. I have perhaps let slip something "everyone knows."
posted by aurelian at 8:55 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


altered carbon, keep Poe.
The Good Place, keep Ted Danson
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:56 PM on July 16


Mystery Men, keep Geoffrey Rush.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:58 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


RuPaul’s Drag Race, keep Michelle Visage.
posted by oulipian at 8:59 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


The Exorcist, but keep Linda Blair.
posted by azpenguin at 8:59 PM on July 16


Office Space, Stephen Root
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:59 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Good Night and Good Luck, keep Frank Langella.
posted by aurelian at 9:01 PM on July 16


Heck, the TV Kitchen Confidential, keep... Frank Langella for Muppets Classic, Nicolas Brendon or John Cho for something a bit more madcap.
posted by aurelian at 9:03 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


With LA Confidential, keep whoever it is who plays Lana Turner, so the line, "That was Lana Turner," hits extra hard.
posted by aurelian at 9:08 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Pacific Rim, keep Max.
posted by homunculus at 9:09 PM on July 16


Being John Malkovich, keep John Malkovich
posted by Rinku at 9:12 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Heat. Keep Amy Brenneman.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:17 PM on July 16


All the Marvel Netflix shows, keep Rosario Dawson.
posted by homunculus at 9:24 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Replace Johnny Depp with Dr. Teeth in everything from like Fear and Loathing on for instantly better movies.
posted by jason_steakums at 9:28 PM on July 16 [4 favorites]


The King's Speech, keep Colin Firth.
posted by homunculus at 9:36 PM on July 16


The King's Speech, keep Colin Firth.

Could I just keep Colin Firth?







I'll see myself out.
posted by datawrangler at 9:43 PM on July 16 [8 favorites]


Being John Malkovich.
Keep John Malkovich.


"Being John Muppetvich", keeping John Malkovich but with Muppets as all the Malkoviches in John Malkovich's head.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:45 PM on July 16 [6 favorites]


Amadeus, keep Tom Hulce.

Yeah, no. The human must be Salieri.
posted by greermahoney at 9:45 PM on July 16 [13 favorites]


Ocean’s 11, keep Brad Pitt

No no no, any Ocean's # but keep Elliot Gould.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:47 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


The 400 Blows, keep Jean-Pierre Léaud.

Any French film of the 1990s, keep Gérard Depardieu.
posted by zompist at 9:49 PM on July 16


Blade Runner, keep Rutger Hauer

Bryant: “Christ, Deckard. You look almost as bad as that felt-job you left on the sidewalk.”

—-


Deadpool 2: obvs keep Rob Delaney. For more box office oomph, keep Brad Pitt.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:55 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Au Hasard Balthazar (1966), keep the donkey.
posted by ob1quixote at 9:59 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, keep Robert Shaw, with Kermit in the Walter Matthau role.
posted by MrBadExample at 10:22 PM on July 16 [2 favorites]


Nightcrawler, keep Gyllenhaal
Fifth Element, keep Chris Tucker
Friday, keep Ice Cube
Thomas Crown Affair, keep Leary
Three Billboards, keep Sam Rockwell
Citizen Kane, keep Orson Welles
posted by Bwentman at 10:28 PM on July 16


I think this could be legitimately pulled off by keeping Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
posted by MoonOrb at 10:33 PM on July 16 [5 favorites]


A few others: Batman, keep Jack Nicholson

Big Trouble in Little China, keep Kurt Russell

A Few Good Men, keep Kevin Pollack

From Dusk Till Dawn, keep George Clooney
posted by MoonOrb at 10:40 PM on July 16


Walk The Line, keep Joaquin Phoenix
Her, keep Joaquin Phoenix
You Were Never Really Here, keep Joaquin Phoenix
Space Camp, keep Leaf Phoenix

so? i gots a little lots bit of a possibly unhealthy unrequited love affair. so sue me.
posted by bologna on wry at 10:42 PM on July 16


Any James Bond Movie: Keep whoever is playing M
posted by Sphinx at 10:54 PM on July 16 [3 favorites]


Except for The World is Not Enough keep Denise Richards.
posted by ODiV at 10:57 PM on July 16


The Room, keep Tommy Wiseau
posted by mach at 11:07 PM on July 16 [1 favorite]


Escape from New York - keep Ernest Borgnine. Dr Teeth is the Duke of New York, Sam the Eagle is the Warden. Scooter and Miss Piggy stand in for Harry Dean Stanton and Adrienne Barbarau.
posted by MarchHare at 11:12 PM on July 16


Kelly's Heroes - keep Don Rickles.
posted by MarchHare at 11:46 PM on July 16




Inception - keep Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Young Frankenstein - keep Gene Hackman
Jurassic Park (original) - keep Wayne Knight and the velociraptors
posted by hampanda at 12:35 AM on July 17


Waterloo (1970), keep Christopher Plummer (Duke of Wellington).

Zulu (1964), keep Stanley Baker (Lieutenant Chard).

Les Misérables (1978), keep Anthony Perkins (Inspector Javert).

Les Misérables (2012), keep Hugh Jackman (Jean Valjean).
posted by Morfil Ffyrnig at 12:40 AM on July 17 [3 favorites]


Misery- keep the sheriff

Gone with the Wind- keep Ashley Wilkes

Scream- keep David Arquette, Miss Piggy takes the Drew Barrymore role
posted by threetwentytwo at 1:00 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Bridget Jones' Diary but keep whoever plays Moaning Myrtle.
Mamma Mia but keep Colin Firth.
Rent but keep Angel. (Light my Candle with Muppets would be too fucking funny.)
posted by yueliang at 1:24 AM on July 17


The Fly, keep Geena Davis.

The Natural, keep Richard Farnsworth.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 1:31 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Big Trouble in Little China, keep Kurt Russell

Honestly I would do Big Trouble in Little China, keep Victor Wong. Because really how could you do Big Trouble in Little China without Victor Wong? And what Muppet could possible out-Victor-Wong Victor Wong?
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 1:51 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Falling Down, keep Michael Douglas
posted by um at 2:39 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Labyrinth, keep David Bowie
posted by um at 2:43 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Brazil, but keep Jonathan Pryce.


It breaks the rules but this would work best if the muppets replaced the people through the film and Pryce doesn't notice.
posted by biffa at 3:03 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Repo Man, keep Fox Harris.
posted by ZipRibbons at 3:48 AM on July 17


Gladiator, keep Joaquin Phoenix

A Few Good Men, keep Jack Nicholson

Hunt for Red October, keep Sean Connery
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:00 AM on July 17 [3 favorites]


Sonatine, keep Takeshi Kitano

Battle Royale, keep Takeshi Kitano
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:08 AM on July 17


Pleasantville, keep Reese Witherspoon and Tobey Maguire
Four Rooms, keep Tim Roth
Phantom of the Paradise, keep Paul Williams
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:11 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


It Follows. (no humans required)
posted by oulipian at 4:21 AM on July 17


Juno, keep JK Simmons.

JK Simmons in Juno
JK Simmons in Justice League
JK Simmons in the Spiderman movies
JK Simmons in anything he's ever done, including Oz and those insurance commercials.

(Except for Whiplash. I want to see Animal in that role.)
posted by PlusDistance at 4:23 AM on July 17


Dangerous Liaisons, keep John Malkovitch.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 4:31 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Fog of War, re-shoot archival footage with Muppets, but keep LBJ

Fitzcarraldo, keep Klaus Kinski

Grizzly Man, keep Werner Herzog
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:51 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Memento; keep Leonard.
Donny Darko; keep the rabbit.
Pirates of the Caribbean; keep Admiral Norrington.
Rule break 1: IT (the original TV-movie); only puppetize Pennywise.
Rule break 2: Ocean's Eleven; puppetize everyone.
Rule break 3: Any zombie flick; puppetize the undead.
Rule break 4: Pleasantville; puppetize the black & white folk.
posted by XtinaS at 5:12 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Psycho; keep the mother.
posted by XtinaS at 5:16 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Wonder Woman, keep Lucy Davis
posted by ZeusHumms at 5:22 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Lady Bird, keep Lady Bird
Alien, keep Tom Skerrit
Aliens, keep Paul Riser
The Straight Story, keep Harry Dean Stanton
The Avengers, keep Samuel L. Jackson
Pulp Fiction, keep the Gimp Quentin Tarantino
Casablanca, keep Sam the piano player
Citizen Kane, keep Joseph Cotten
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 5:24 AM on July 17


10 Things I Hate About You, keep Larry Miller (father)
posted by ZeusHumms at 5:24 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Chicago, keep John C Reilly
posted by ZeusHumms at 5:27 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Anchorman, keep Christina Applegate
posted by ZeusHumms at 5:28 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


What We Do In The Shadows, keep Stu
Cold Comfort Farm, keep Ian McKellen
Any film with Brian Blessed, keep Brian Blessed
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 5:30 AM on July 17


Moon, but keep Sam Rockwell

Or in a similar vein (possibly even better) Gravity but keep Sandra Bullock.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 5:30 AM on July 17


What?!? Flash Gordon, keep Timothy Dalton. Blessed can still do the voice.
posted by phooky at 5:35 AM on July 17 [3 favorites]


C'mon, it's a little on the nose, but Ghostbusters keep Ernie Hudson!!
posted by wellred at 5:35 AM on July 17


Blessed can still do the voice.

He's already, like, 85% Muppet already!
posted by threetwentytwo at 5:39 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Damn, TheWhiteSkull beat me to Gladiator.

LA Story, keep Iman. (Her husband had his own movie surrounded by Muppets, didn't he?)
The Thing, keep Keith David.
Stalag 17, keep Peter Graves. (Tempting as it is to keep Animal.)
2001: A Space Odyssey, keep Douglas Rain.
posted by McCoy Pauley at 5:41 AM on July 17 [3 favorites]


fluffy battle kitten: O Brother, Where Art Thou - keep Holly Hunter.

Au contraire, mon frere: we have to keep John Goodman! Can you imagine the scene under the tree, with him swinging that tree branch and all the Muppets running away screaming?
posted by wenestvedt at 5:43 AM on July 17


"So I Married An Axe Murderer," and keep only Mike Meyers' voice.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:44 AM on July 17


The Thing, keep Keith David.

Ditto They Live
posted by jason_steakums at 5:46 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Groundhog Week: Masters of the Universe (He-Man) but keep the actor who played Skeletor.

Groundhog Week, you are Steve Lutz, and I claim my five pounds.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:48 AM on July 17


I would love to see one of the streaming services redoing the first season of "Sports Night" with Muppets in every role except Josh Malina.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:55 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Marathon Man, but do you keep Dustin Hoffman or Laurence Olivier? I'm leaning you keep Hoffman and Beaker plays for Sir Laurence.

"Meep meep meep?"
posted by uncleozzy at 5:56 AM on July 17 [3 favorites]


"Midnight Run" and keep Yaphet Kotto.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:56 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Animal House, keep Belushi
posted by bwvol at 5:57 AM on July 17


Clue, keep Tim Curry.

Call and raise you the original IT movie but still keep Tim Curry.
posted by RolandOfEld at 6:01 AM on July 17


The White Skull: Hunt for Red October, keep Sean Connery

CAPT. RAMIUS: "Re-verify our range to target... one ping only."
BEAKER: "Meep!"
posted by wenestvedt at 6:07 AM on July 17 [12 favorites]


Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey - keep William Sadler
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:17 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


The Princess Bride, keep Andre the Giant. Alternatively, keep Peter Falk.
posted by um at 6:19 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Hunt for Red October, keep Sean Connery

CAPT. RAMIUS: "Re-verify our range to target... one ping only."
BEAKER: "Meep!"


CAPT. BART MANCUSO: "You, you speak English?"
BEAKER: "Meep!"
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:26 AM on July 17 [11 favorites]


Glengarry Glen Ross : Keep Alec Baldwin

Withnail and I : Keep Presuming Ed

Clerks : Keep Jay

Amelie : The blind man Amelie "helps" across the road
posted by Jon Mitchell at 7:13 AM on July 17 [4 favorites]


The Postman Always Rings Twice. I can't decide whether to keep Nicholson and replace Lange with Piggy, or to keep Lange and replace Nicholson with Fozzie.
posted by biffa at 7:19 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


I have to now confess something quite stupid. I wanted to check the spelling on Fozzie and looked up the muppet movie on IMDB, expecting to see him listed as one of the actors.
posted by biffa at 7:20 AM on July 17 [16 favorites]


Wait, no. Dangerous Liaisons, but keep Uma Thurman.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 7:31 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Jupiter Ascending, keep Eddie Redmayne, have Channing Tatum's part played by Rolf.
posted by dinty_moore at 7:32 AM on July 17 [4 favorites]


The Greasy Strangler, keep Michael St. Michaels
posted by Lizard at 7:34 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Annie Hall, keep Marshall McLuhan
posted by Daily Alice at 7:39 AM on July 17 [5 favorites]


Every single Lifetime movie: keep Gina Gershon
posted by anoirmarie at 7:50 AM on July 17


Sorry To Bother You keep Tessa Thompson
posted by idiopath at 8:07 AM on July 17


Ghostbusters (2016), keep Chris Hemsworth. McCarthy, Jones, McKinnon, and Wiig voice muppet versions of themselves.

Star Wars episodes VII to IX, keep both Daisy Ridley and John Boyega.

Blade Runner, keep Edward James Olmos. (“You've done a man's job!”) Kermit as Deckard, including the voice-over from the original cut.
posted by mbrubeck at 8:08 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Fight Club, keep Helena Bonham Carter.
posted by Splunge at 8:28 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


9 1/2 Weeks, keep Kim Basinger.
posted by Splunge at 8:29 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


The Bad Lieutenant, keep Harvey Keitel. Or Nick Cage. Your choice.
posted by Splunge at 8:31 AM on July 17


There's Something About Mary, Cameron Diaz
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:32 AM on July 17


Splunge: 9 1/2 Weeks, keep Kim Basinger.

After filming the fridge scene, getting all that chocolate syrup and whipped cream out of the Rolf marionette is going to take a lot of damn work.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:33 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


The West Wing, keep Janel Moloney.

Allison Janney and I will fight you.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:36 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


10 Things I Hate About You, keep Allison Janney
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:46 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Platoon, only keep Tom Berringer.

Tombstone, only keep Michael Biehne

From the works well with muppets, Usual Suspects, keep Kevin Pollack.

13th Warrior, keep only Antonio Banderas.

The Wire, keep only Bunk.

The Departed, keep only Martin Sheen.

Snatch, keep only Jason Statham.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:56 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Steel Magnolias keep Sally Field, All About Eve keep Marilyn Monroe, Mommie Dearest keep Faye Dunaway, Mermaids keep Christina Ricci, Devil Wears Prada keep Emily Blunt
posted by PranaBoy at 8:58 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Forrest Gump keeps Sally Field
posted by ZeusHumms at 9:01 AM on July 17


After filming the fridge scene, getting all that chocolate syrup and whipped cream out of the Rolf marionette is going to take a lot of damn work.
posted by wenestvedt


Oh, you didn't picture Kermit then?
posted by Splunge at 9:02 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Animal House, keep Mark Metcalf (Neidermeyer)
The Godfather, keep Abe Vigoda
posted by rocket88 at 9:05 AM on July 17


Parks & Rec, keep Adam Scott.

(Big Bird as Leslie, Ernie as Andy, Bert as Jerry, Miss Piggy as Donna, Grundgetta as April, Fozzie as Tom, Sam the Eagle as Ron... but Megan Mullally keeps her recurring role as human Tammy Two. Still working on Ann and Chris.)
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:19 AM on July 17 [3 favorites]


Oh! Grover as Chris, of course.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:23 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Trying to match up characters to Muppets exposes how few notable female Muppets there are.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:36 AM on July 17 [7 favorites]


I suspect you could generate more static charge rubbing up against a muppet than with Amy Smart, making Crank 2 a lot easier for Statham's character.
posted by biffa at 9:36 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Stalag 17, keep Peter Graves. (Tempting as it is to keep Animal.)

YESSS. I would pay good money to see that.

Also, Das Boot - keep Jürgen Prochnow.
posted by Morfil Ffyrnig at 9:40 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, keep Nick and Honey. Kermit and Piggy are George and Martha, with a lot of opportunity for "Hi-yaah!" Gonzo and the singing chickens run the diner.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:45 AM on July 17


Raging Bull, keep De Niro.
posted by Cris E at 9:55 AM on July 17


Oh, Fredo too: Godfather II, keep John Cazale .

"Fredo, you're my older brother, and I love you, but don't ever take sides with anyone against the family again, ever."
posted by Cris E at 9:57 AM on July 17


Guardians of the Galaxy, but keep Rocket.
posted by straight at 9:57 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


""The Truman Show, keep Jim Carrey" was my favorite"

I can't in good conscience ever advocate to "keep Jim Carrey," unless it's followed by "in Hell."

Anyway, my vote is for Muppet Treasure Island but keep Tim Curry. Muppets can play other Muppets too, ya know!
posted by GoblinHoney at 10:04 AM on July 17 [2 favorites]


The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston.
It's A Wonderful Life with Lionel Barrymore as Mr Potter.
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, pick one.
To Kill a Mockingbird, keep Boo Radley (Robert Duvall!).
posted by Cris E at 10:08 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Das Boot, keep the chief engineer who goes mad.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:11 AM on July 17 [3 favorites]


You guys beat me to my first dozen so how about Donnie Brasco keep Pacino.
posted by cmfletcher at 10:18 AM on July 17


Serial Mom, keep Kathleen Turner.
posted by sexyrobot at 10:23 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


"The Departed" and keep Jack Nicholson. (Watching him break Scooter's wrist against that pool table is going to be really hard to watch but I think that discomfort is still in line Scorsese's vision.)
posted by wenestvedt at 10:27 AM on July 17


Trying to match up characters to Muppets exposes how few notable female Muppets there are.

I noticed most of the "new" Sesame Street characters (aka ones that have been added since I was a small child) are female, presumably to try to fix the gender imbalance of early Sesame Street.
posted by grandiloquiet at 10:28 AM on July 17 [4 favorites]


Dumb and Dumber, keep the van.
posted by Splunge at 11:06 AM on July 17 [3 favorites]


Arrested Development, keep Alia Shawkat. Also Jessica Walter stays on as the voice of the Lucille Bluth Muppet.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 11:25 AM on July 17 [4 favorites]


But we want to see Star wars where everyone but Chewbacca is a muppet. Can we bend the rules? Chewie is sort of human right?
posted by uandt at 11:27 AM on July 17 [1 favorite]


But we want to see Star wars where everyone but Chewbacca is a muppet. Can we bend the rules? Chewie is sort of human right?

All Muppets except Chewie, who's played by Brian Blessed. Deal? Deal.
posted by McCoy Pauley at 11:44 AM on July 17 [3 favorites]


Ghostbusters, would you keep Venkman or Dana?

There is no Dana...


....only Zoot.
posted by HeroZero at 12:38 PM on July 17 [12 favorites]


They Live: without the sunglasses, everyone is a muppet
posted by ckape at 12:44 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Ghostbusters, sure. But you keep William Atherton as Walter Peck. The only sane man in an insane world.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:46 PM on July 17 [4 favorites]


Dark Knight. Gonzo as the joker. Keep Gary Oldman.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 12:51 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]


Fluffy battle kitten, sure, gonzo as the joker is doable, but what of the other possibilities? Kermit would be fantastic, just like Ledger, the sensitive dreamboat cast against type. Or, of course, you could go with the natural funny man turned crazy. Walking into the kitchen with the mob bosses meeting, with his terrible, terrible laugh:

Waka. Waka. Waka waka. Waka.
posted by Ghidorah at 1:07 PM on July 17 [5 favorites]


Hell, go with Dark Knight, but more traditional Muppet Movie style: keep the mob, Gary Oldman, and Michael Caine, Cillian Murphy, and the fake batmen. Everyone who's a "freak" is a muppet. Or, swap it all, and only Batman, the Joker, and Two Face are human. Dr. Teeth as the Russian mob guy talking about refusing to work with a "ffffrrrreeeak" like the Joker.

Or Aaron Eckhart is in the movie, but after the courtroom scene, half his face is muppet.
posted by Ghidorah at 1:12 PM on July 17 [4 favorites]


The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Keep the Criminologist.

No, keep Tim Curry. Cookie Monster as the Criminologist, drawing on his experience as the host of Monsterpiece Theater.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:36 PM on July 17 [4 favorites]


Pleasantville, keep Don Knotts.
posted by ZeusHumms at 2:01 PM on July 17


Thank You for Smoking, keep Aaron Eckhart
posted by ZeusHumms at 2:04 PM on July 17


Once upon a time in the West, keeping Henry Fonda. Kermit plays Jack Elam, for both the eyes and to resolve the fly problem. Rolf plays harmonica so will play Harmonica. Grover will play Woody Strode as I like Grover and Woody Strode. Animal to play McBain. Elmo to play McBain Jr, who hears Henry Fonda's character name.
posted by biffa at 2:16 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Brooklyn 99, but keep Andre Braugher (Captain Holt). Peralta and Boyle are at least 90% muppet already.

Bonus points for Piggy as Rosa Diaz, and Waldorf/Statler taking Scully/Hitchcock.

(Credit where it's due to Mrs TheHair)
posted by PeteTheHair at 2:29 PM on July 17 [3 favorites]


Brooklyn 99, but keep Andre Braugher (Captain Holt)

That is fun, and it fits the keep-the-straight-man (heh, in this case) model. I also love the idea of keeping Amy because I just imagine her being so invested in the whole thing.
posted by Emmy Rae at 2:48 PM on July 17


Before I do mine I think it's important to add that I've been viewing this as having mostly original, newly designed Muppets along with Anything Muppets and Whatnots, and not specifically casting Kermit etc, but it seems like that's not the direction most other people seem to be reading it? Anyway:

Werner Herzog's Nosferatu, keep Bruno Ganz's Jonathan Harker, but **SPOILER** in the end when Harker transforms into the vampire he also becomes a Muppet.
posted by elsilnora at 2:59 PM on July 17 [4 favorites]


Basic Instinct, keep Sharon Stone
Total Recall, keep Johnny cab
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 2:59 PM on July 17


*Ctrl-F Paul Williams*

Phantom of the Paradise, keep Paul Williams

Yes Faint of Butt that is perfect thank you
posted by elsilnora at 3:03 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Poison Ivy, keep Sara Gilbert
posted by heyho at 3:26 PM on July 17


Meet the Feebles: everyone is played by a human, except wobbert, who is played by the mom zombie from the end of Braindead (also known as Dead Alive in North America).
posted by poe at 3:26 PM on July 17


Basic Instinct, keep Sharon Stone

Oh god, just the idea of seeing a Muppet play her character in That One Famous Scene is destroying my childhood.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:32 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]


10 Things I Hate About You, keep Allison Janney
posted by Weeping_angel at 3:49 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Oh god, just the idea of seeing a Muppet play her character in That One Famous Scene is destroying my childhood.
posted by Greg_Ace


Miss. Piggy or Janice from The Doctor Teeth band? :)
posted by Splunge at 3:51 PM on July 17


I may have left myself open to misinterpretation - my immediate reaction was alarm and dismay, plus I think a tiny part of me may have died.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:59 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]


Gotta be one of Gonzo's chickens.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:19 PM on July 17 [3 favorites]


Vertigo. Keep Jimmy Stewart. Kim Novak becomes one of those "anything" muppets, and during the makeover scene JImmy Stewart is suggesting replacing her nose and eyes and they're just pulling them off and replacing them according to his orders.
posted by wabbittwax at 5:15 PM on July 17 [5 favorites]


Serenity, keep Book.

Smoky and the Bandit, keep Buford.

The Fifth Element, keep Lee-Loo.

The Sixth Sense, keep Bruce Willis.

Due South, keep Frazier.

Liar, Liar; keep Jim Carrey.

Clerks, keep Dante.

Clerks II, keep Becky.

Mad Max, keep Mel Gibson.
posted by Mitheral at 5:21 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]


The Shining - I'm tempted to say Jack Nicholson as watching him play off muppets would be fascinating, but the imaginative possibilities of keeping Danny Lloyd (Danny) have won me over.
posted by Sparx at 5:24 PM on July 17 [4 favorites]


I can’t believe no one went to The Passion of The Christ yet.

Clearly keep Jesus, because the muppets pounding spikes with their floppy little arms would be amazing.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:26 PM on July 17 [6 favorites]


Or, The Last Temptation of Christ, but keep Harvey Keitel because of his weird crying noise.

Or, The Last Temptation of Christ, but keep Willem Defoe because Jesus.

Or, The Last Temptation of Christ, but keep David Bowie and claim it’s a prequel to Labyrinth.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:07 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]


No - the David Bowie film where you replace everyone else with Muppets has to be Merry Christmas, Mister Lawrence.
posted by MarchHare at 7:28 PM on July 17 [5 favorites]


Mad Max: keep Johnny the Boy.
posted by MarchHare at 7:31 PM on July 17


Galaxy Quest but keep Tony Shaloub and all the Thermians.
I know, I know, Alan Rickman and all, but I stand by my choice
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:41 PM on July 17 [3 favorites]


Groundhog Day, keep Stephen Toblowsky (aka Ned Ryerson)
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:53 AM on July 18 [2 favorites]


Do The Right Thing, keep Samuel L. Jackson as Mister Señor Love Daddy.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:54 AM on July 18


My Super Ex-Girlfriend, keep Rainn Wilson
posted by ZeusHumms at 6:55 AM on July 18


The Philadelphia Story, keep Jimmy Stewart
His Girl Friday, keep Ralph Bellamy
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 8:26 AM on July 18


No - the David Bowie film where you replace everyone else with Muppets has to be Merry Christmas, Mister Lawrence.

ok but for your consideration may i present zoolander
posted by poffin boffin at 9:31 AM on July 18 [3 favorites]


Ex Machina - keep Sonoya Mizuno (I briefly thought about keeping Alicia Vikander, but I like this way better)
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 11:01 AM on July 18


Das Boot, keep the chief engineer who goes mad.

No, the first watch officer is the one you keep. The enthusiastic Nazi.
posted by Vortisaur at 1:14 PM on July 18


ok but for your consideration may i present zoolander

I have a half-baked notion that Zoolander has some kind of magical muppet/human equivalence whereby any given role could be played by a human or muppet without significantly affecting the quality of the film.

Sam the Eagle, of course, gives the best Blue Steel.
posted by Sparx at 3:58 PM on July 18 [2 favorites]


Parks & Rec, keep Adam Scott.

(Big Bird as Leslie, Ernie as Andy, Bert as Jerry, Miss Piggy as Donna, Grundgetta as April, Fozzie as Tom, Sam the Eagle as Ron... but Megan Mullally keeps her recurring role as human Tammy Two. Still working on Ann and Chris.)


Ann and Chris need to be extremely attractive (by Muppet standards) custom Rashida Jones and Rob Lowe Muppets. They are too pretty a couple for this or any world.

Also, thoughts: what about Cookie Monster Andy, and what about Parks and Rec, keep Lil Sebastian? Ben is 100% Scooter in a Letters to Cleo shirt.
posted by jason_steakums at 5:19 PM on July 18 [1 favorite]


This would also be great for The Commitments, keeping Colm Meany as the only human.
posted by MoonOrb at 7:05 PM on July 18 [2 favorites]


Groundhog Day, keep Stephen Toblowsky (aka Ned Ryerson)

nah man, you keep Brian Doyle-Murray, the guy who reads the groundhog proclamation aloud at the ceremony.
posted by duffell at 7:24 PM on July 18 [2 favorites]


Vortisaur: "No, the first watch officer is the one you keep. The enthusiastic Nazi."

Inglourious Basterds
, keep Standartenführer Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz)
posted by Mitheral at 8:49 PM on July 18 [1 favorite]


The Rocky Horror Picture Show, keep Richard O'Brien. Gonzo as Frank N. Furter, Camilla as Columbia, Miss Piggy as Janet, Sam the Bald Eagle as Brad, Animal as Eddie, Kermit as Dr. Scott, and alternating Statler and Waldorf as the Criminologist, without explanation.
posted by Zed at 10:23 PM on July 18 [3 favorites]


This would also be great for The Commitments, keeping Colm Meany as the only human.

The original drummer said that Animal was one of his influences; who would be cast in his stead? (Clearly Animal would be the replacement drummer, the guy who starts out as their security guy.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:28 AM on July 19 [2 favorites]


The X-Files, keep Mitch Pileggi.
posted by Zed at 12:55 PM on July 19 [2 favorites]


Sliding Doors, keep Gwenyth in one story, replace in the other.
posted by soelo at 1:25 PM on July 19 [1 favorite]


Late addition: The Birdcage, keep Gene Hackman. His baffled dismay at the situation can only get worse if he's surrounded by Muppets. And you get to have the entire Muppet ensemble singing "We Are Family". (Kermit replaces Robin Williams, Fozzie for Nathan Lane, Scooter as Val, Gonzo as Agador-Spartacus. Not enough female Muppets to go around, but I'm thinking Miss Piggy for Christine Baranski.)
posted by McCoy Pauley at 2:54 PM on July 19 [2 favorites]


The Rocky Horror Picture Show, keep Richard O'Brien. Gonzo as Frank N. Furter, Camilla as Columbia, Miss Piggy as Janet, Sam the Bald Eagle as Brad, Animal as Eddie, Kermit as Dr. Scott, and alternating Statler and Waldorf as the Criminologist, without explanation.

Beeker as Rocky.
posted by Celsius1414 at 5:54 PM on July 19 [2 favorites]


Also The Newsman as an alternative for Brad.
posted by Celsius1414 at 5:56 PM on July 19


Beeker as Rocky.

Before I realized the context I thought you were talking about the Stallone movies. "Mee-mee meeeeeeee, mee-mee meeeeeeeee!"

That said, Rocky but keep Burgess Meredith.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:27 PM on July 19 [4 favorites]


ALWAYS KEEP BURGESS MEREDITH
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:59 PM on July 19 [7 favorites]


Flash Gordon, keep Timothy Dalton.

Are you crazy? This was Max von Sydow’s finest movie!
posted by um at 9:39 PM on July 19 [5 favorites]


Removing Brian Blessed from Flash Gordon would be a crime. Then again, I'd kind of like to hear Fozzie shout "Ah, well, who wants to live forever? DIVE!"
posted by Zed at 11:34 AM on July 20


The Royal Tenenbaums, keep Anjelica Huston
posted by the man of twists and turns at 11:49 AM on August 13 [1 favorite]


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