if you're not upside down you're not dead
July 31, 2018 5:47 PM   Subscribe

This tiny Eastern Hognose snake really overplays the death scene. [SLYT]
posted by moonmilk (36 comments total) 30 users marked this as a favorite
 
It's like watching a La Liga game 🐍⚽
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:01 PM on July 31, 2018 [16 favorites]


I want to shout at it OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:09 PM on July 31, 2018 [9 favorites]


My partner, screaming with laughter: "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT HONEY!!!!"
posted by brook horse at 6:10 PM on July 31, 2018 [7 favorites]


BLARG I AM DED.

Srsly i am ded.

stoppit

am DED

yes I am

YES I AM

BLARG DAMMIT
posted by The otter lady at 6:15 PM on July 31, 2018 [33 favorites]


The William Shatner of snakes.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 6:20 PM on July 31, 2018 [15 favorites]


Metafilter: BLARG DAMMIT
posted by moonmilk at 6:21 PM on July 31, 2018 [9 favorites]


That little tongue hanging out really sells it.
posted by traveler_ at 6:23 PM on July 31, 2018 [35 favorites]


I used to have a couple of hognose (Eastern and Western both) as pets-- they had been handled a lot (because they are frippin' adorable) so they never would do this performance for me. That whole thrashing thing is also when they excrete stinky musk-poops to slather themselves in, to really sell the whole I AM DED AN ALSO DECOMPOSED thing.
posted by The otter lady at 6:27 PM on July 31, 2018 [17 favorites]


omg, what a drama noodle
posted by phunniemee at 6:28 PM on July 31, 2018 [45 favorites]


Don't be fooled.
posted by MrBadExample at 6:43 PM on July 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


my name is Snak,
and wen they come
and tuch my snoot
with hooman thum,
I thrash and twist
and toss my hed
so they wil kno
that i am ded.
posted by The Bellman at 7:04 PM on July 31, 2018 [73 favorites]


Alright.. my next video served was an UNBOXING of an eastern hognose snake..

The box read: "Live Harmless Reptile. Rush Perisable. Handle With Care". Somebody hates their mailman. That's what I've just learned.
posted by Nanukthedog at 7:10 PM on July 31, 2018


It's the snake version of the Paul Reubens death scene in the Buffy movie!
posted by Kris10_b at 7:31 PM on July 31, 2018 [9 favorites]


Pyramus: ...Thus die I. Thus, thus, thus.
Now am I dead,
Now am I fled,
My soul is in the sky.
Tongue, lose thy light.
Moon take thy flight.
Now die, die, die, die, die.
Dies
---A Midsummer Night's Dream Act V, scene i.
posted by dannyboybell at 8:04 PM on July 31, 2018 [13 favorites]


Know what I like to do when I'm out for a hike/walk and spot a snake minding its business? Maybe take a photo and then leave it the hell alone without poking it. It's hilarious.

OTOH, if you want some entertainment, just stand there while a Killdeer does its routine unprompted.

TLDR: I'm just a different sort of monster, aren't I? (bonus birdandmoon & Ursula Vernon)
posted by sysinfo at 8:19 PM on July 31, 2018 [10 favorites]


I thought this was overplaying the death scene.
posted by zardoz at 8:23 PM on July 31, 2018 [4 favorites]


E's not dead, e's e's restin!
posted by jacquilynne at 8:25 PM on July 31, 2018 [1 favorite]


oh my god look at this idiot
i love him so much
posted by nogoodverybad at 8:59 PM on July 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


13/10 would die again
posted by davidmsc at 10:09 PM on July 31, 2018 [3 favorites]


What a good boy
posted by soakimbo at 10:49 PM on July 31, 2018 [2 favorites]


What bothers me is that his mouth is full of sand now.
what is he going to do? How does a snake get sand out
of its mouth? The poor guy.
posted by quazichimp at 11:20 PM on July 31, 2018 [14 favorites]


I never, ever, ever put the words cute and snake in the same thought. Until now.
posted by Thella at 12:06 AM on August 1, 2018 [2 favorites]


If this little chap had hands, the back of one of them would be pressed to its forehead (if it had a forehead).
posted by Fuchsoid at 12:38 AM on August 1, 2018 [5 favorites]


Hognose shakes are great! For those not familiar with them, the other thing they do when threatened is rise up and flatten their neck like a cobra (thus their other common name of puff adder). In any case they almost never bite and make good pets; more info here.
posted by TedW at 3:12 AM on August 1, 2018 [2 favorites]


Top marks for scenery chewing.
posted by RandomInconsistencies at 3:30 AM on August 1, 2018 [1 favorite]


If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart
Absent thee from felicity awhile,
And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain
To tell my story.
...
O, I die, Horatio;
The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit:
I cannot live to hear the news from England;
But I do prophesy the election lights
On Fortinbras: he has my dying voice;
So tell him, with the occurrents, more and less,
Which have solicited. The rest is silence.

BLARG DED
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 3:56 AM on August 1, 2018 [8 favorites]


That is the sorriest I have ever felt for a snake. Poor lil snek thought his life was on the line. And all for YouTube lols.

"My ... heart ... doth ... FAIL!"
posted by Flexagon at 6:42 AM on August 1, 2018 [3 favorites]


My hognose does not fake death, she is too feisty. If surprised, she puffs her head up and boops the offending party with her majestic snoot.
posted by agentofselection at 8:02 AM on August 1, 2018 [7 favorites]


Hognose shakes are great! For those not familiar with them, the other thing they do when threatened is rise up and flatten their neck like a cobra (thus their other common name of puff adder).

This little guy did like a moment of "I Am Cobra!" before launching into "I Am Dead!". I've always found the whole thing fascinating evolutionarily--how long ago were North American hognose in the same place as cobras?
posted by hydropsyche at 8:10 AM on August 1, 2018 [2 favorites]


The hognose-cobra thing might be a case of convergent evolution. Cobras have a distinct pair of eyespots (both dorsal and ventral), and it looks like some hognose morphs have darker spots that might be eyespot-like. Both probably are sending the message, "I'm bigger than you thought, and looking right at you." That might be enough for an ambush predator to hesitate or look for an easier mark. The actual semiotics of mimicry are open to interpretation.
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 8:29 AM on August 1, 2018 [5 favorites]


In my long-ago herpetology class, on a field day, we found a little hognose snake and passed him around the group. Every time we righted him, he'd twist himself back upside down and stick his tongue out. I feel bad that we must have scared him, but man, what an adorable act.
posted by corvikate at 10:04 AM on August 1, 2018 [1 favorite]


Know what I like to do when I'm out for a hike/walk and spot a snake minding its business? Maybe take a photo and then leave it the hell alone without poking it. It's hilarious.

This. I’m glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t find terrifying a living creature to be hilarious.
posted by MexicanYenta at 10:37 AM on August 1, 2018 [4 favorites]


Wanted to free-form flag your comment for dead-goating, but that somehow seems too meta in the dead snaking thread.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 1:48 PM on August 1, 2018


That's a great video...thanks. I haven't seen a hognose in the wild in a lot of years.. I need to spend more time looking down while I walk!
posted by HuronBob at 9:17 PM on August 1, 2018


Also known as the "spread-natter" or spreading adder. Such a sweet little southern magnolia of a snake... all vapors and "Oh, Laudie!"
posted by TrishaU at 1:44 AM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]


I’m glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t find terrifying a living creature to be hilarious.

Clearly, as the above comments demonstrate, the snake has not yet mastered the art of playing dead. So, "terrifying" it in this otherwise safe setting is giving it an opportunity to work on those skills. (Or, whatever.)

Posted with the video Snake was released approx. 10 mins later into a mouse burrow.

Thanks for posting. I had no idea such snakes existed.
posted by she's not there at 8:59 PM on August 15, 2018


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