Cenozoic beasts on the march

September 2, 2018 12:50 AM

Dinosaurs get all the attention, but Cenozoic mammals can give them a run for the money. And they were big, too. Also by the same animator: Marching Dinosaurs - Animated Size Comparison
posted by Transl3y (18 comments total)

This is AWESOME.

However I missed when the human size comparison started to shrink!

There are animals with horns that it's clear it's a flat animation as it they only appear to have one horn.

Is that a thylacine? and a Dodo? They only went extinct not that long ago!
posted by freethefeet at 1:52 AM on September 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

I was worried for that little marching dude like four animals in.
posted by schadenfrau at 6:30 AM on September 2, 2018 [6 favorites]

Go home, evolution, you are drunk.
posted by Mogur at 6:37 AM on September 2, 2018 [5 favorites]

I think I saw an R.O.U.S..
posted by jon1270 at 7:06 AM on September 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

This is very cool.

There's something about that walking dude's posture that says "WATCH OUT FOR THE CROTCH".
posted by BeeDo at 7:59 AM on September 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Terror birds (Phorusrhacids). The stuff of nightmares. Ten feet tall, sustained 30 mph running speed. Disembowling claws and tearing beak. When I see five or ten wild turkeys in my yard, I scale them up in my mind and imagine how terrifying that would be.
posted by mondo dentro at 8:48 AM on September 2, 2018 [4 favorites]

What happened to the simple dinosaurs of my childhood? Gray, dark gray, light gray. Scaly skin. I mean, this looks like a prehistoric carnival. Evolution as some crazy drunk costume designer? Same with the mammals. Excellent!
posted by njohnson23 at 9:15 AM on September 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

This is so cool! :D
posted by the thought-fox at 9:41 AM on September 2, 2018

He should have high fived that bipedal ape creature.
posted by ian1977 at 10:32 AM on September 2, 2018 [8 favorites]

I kind of wish that there were a little less of the "animal sound effects" things dubbed in - partly because some of those noises are grating (I could have done with WAY less of the guinea pig noise), and partly because it was obvious that the thinking was "no one knows what this animal sounded like so I'm just gonna use something that sounds suitably animal-ish". Using penguin noises probably were fine for the Great Auk, but I doubt the dodo sounded like a turkey.

(Also, am I crazy or was there a clip of Jabba The Hutt standing in for some animal's call?)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:54 AM on September 2, 2018

What on earth is the boar-looking thing on weird stilty legs at 2:24?
posted by tavella at 11:09 AM on September 2, 2018

Answering my own question, if I worked out the sequence right it is a Daeodon, a type of entelodont, which are also apparently known as "hell pigs".
posted by tavella at 11:15 AM on September 2, 2018 [4 favorites]

The human seems pretty stupid walking towards whatever all those animals were walking away from. Unless they were walking away from existing I supposed.
posted by ian1977 at 1:27 PM on September 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

The dinosaur one especially could really use in-video labelling. There's enough recognizable species in the mammal one that you can place an unknown with a relatively short sequence. Dinosaurs I'd have to count maybe the whole sequence.
posted by tavella at 2:13 PM on September 2, 2018

I assume the walking guy was Noah's assistant manager, supervising the loading of the B Ark.
posted by moonmilk at 6:05 PM on September 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

I am still waiting for a blockbuster Hollywood video featuring poofy, fluffy feathery dinosaurs
posted by rebent at 6:19 PM on September 2, 2018

Dammit. For those of you who are asking about the identity of some animals, I meant to point out in the post that each animal is listed, in the order they appear, in the comment section, but forgot. Since it's kind of hard to find, I'll reproduce the list here:

All the beasts in habitats and epochs.

1. Epigaulus: North America Late Miocene-Late Pleistocene
2. Eohippus: Europe Early Eocene
3. Leptictidium: Europe Early-Late Eocene
4. Thylacine: Oceania Oligocene-Holocene
5. Pakicetus: Asia Late Eocene
6. Moeritherium: Africa Late Eocene
7. Great Auk: Europe Holocene
8. Dodo bird: Africa Holocene
9. Castoroides: North America Late Pliocene-Late Pleistocene
10. Thylacosmilus: South America & Africa Late Oligocene-Middle Miocene
11. Marsupial Lion: Australia Pleistocene
12. Dire Wolf: North & South America Late Pleistocene-Early Holocene
13. Homotherium: North America Late Pleistocene
14. Cave Lion: Europe Mid Pleistocene-Early Holocene
15. Amphicyon: North America & Europe Early Miocene
16. Kubanochoerus: Europe Pliocene
17. Synthetoceras: North America Late Miocene
18. Smilodon: North & South America Early Pleistocene-Early Holocene
19. Nothrotheriops: North America Early Pleistocene
20. Australopithecus: Africa Late Pliocene
21. Glyptodon: South America Early Pleistocene
22. Quagga: Africa Holocene
23. Toxodon: South America Late Oligocene-Early Miocene
24. Dinopithecus: Africa Pliocene
25. Cave Bear: Europe Late Pleistocene
26. Doedicurus: South America Pleistocene
27. Gastornis: North America & Eurasia Late Paleocene-Middle Eocene
28. Hyaenodon: Asia Late Oligocene
29. Short-faced Bear: North America Late Pleistocene-Early Holocene
30. Arsinoitherium: Eurasia Middle Eocene
31. Uintatherium: Asia Middle Eocene
32. Woolly Rhinoceros: Eurasia Late Pliocene-Late Pleistocene
33. Gigantopithecus: Asia Pleistocene
34. Andrewsarchus: Africa Late Eocene
35. Megalania: Australia Pleistocene
36. Aurochs: Eurasia & Africa Late Pleistocene-Holocene
37. Daeodon: Asia Late Miocene
38. Platybelodon: Africa Late Miocene
39. Dinornis: Oceania Late Pleistocene-Holocene
40. Diprotodon: Australia Pleistocene
41. Long-horned Bison: Eurasia Pleistocene-Holocene
42. Aepyornis: Europe Late Pliocene
43. Titanoboa: South America Paleocene
44. Phorusrhacos: South America Miocene
45. Chalicotherium: Eurasia & Africa Late Oligocene-Miocene
46. Megacerops: Asia Late Eocene
47. Aepycamelus: Asia Late Oligocene-Late Miocene
48. Embolotherium: Asia & Africa Late Eocene
49. Elasmotherium: Eurasia Late Pleistocene
50. Megaloceros: Eurasia Late Pleistocene
51. Moropus: Europe Late Pliocene-Early Pleistocene
52. Sivatherium: Africa & Asia Late Pliocene
53. Megatherium: South America Early Pleistocene-Early Holocene
54. American Mastodon: North & Middle America Late Miocene-Late Pleistocene
55. Procoptodon: Australia Pleistocene
56. Woolly Mammoth: North America & Eurasia Pleistocene-Holocene
57. Columbian Mammoth: North America Late Pleistocene-Early Holocene
58. Deinotherium: Africa Late Miocene
59. Palaeoloxodon: Europe Late Pleistocene-Holocene
60. Paraceratherium: Asia Oligocene

It's a pity the animator didn't put names over the animals, but it's possible to figure out who's who with a little effort from the list.

There's a list of the identities of the dinos in the "see more" section at the top of the dino video, too.
posted by Transl3y at 11:50 PM on September 2, 2018 [4 favorites]

"Hell Pig", "Dire Wolf", "Terror Bird"... the Cenozoic era was so metal. It's unfortunate that we haven't seen more movies that capitalize on this period of terrifyingly uncanny giant beasts. 10,000 BC is the only one that comes to mind recently.
posted by subocoyne at 4:18 PM on September 4, 2018