Very, very carefully
December 3, 2018 12:28 PM Subscribe
This post was deleted for the following reason: poster's request -- cortex
I had so many feelings. First, I questioned the need for this use of the puma's time, but then I saw that wetting the puma down essentially made puma tea. So, maybe. But dang, use less soap. It's going to take forever to rinse all that out and the puma's going to end up ingesting a lot of it during the drying step. My main takeaway was that a puma this amiable would make a truly fantastic weighted blanket.
posted by Don Pepino at 12:52 PM on December 3, 2018 [11 favorites]
posted by Don Pepino at 12:52 PM on December 3, 2018 [11 favorites]
What is the backstory here? Why is this puma living with people in a home?
posted by agregoli at 12:53 PM on December 3, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by agregoli at 12:53 PM on December 3, 2018 [8 favorites]
This is adorably cute but why - why? - would you share your home with a wild beast that could easily kill you and eat you? Animals aren't moral agents - it's not thinking "I would never claw, bite or eat my human because that would be wrong". If it did get upset or scared and swat you with its claws out, you would be in a world of hurt and it wouldn't be the puma's fault.
posted by Frowner at 12:54 PM on December 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Frowner at 12:54 PM on December 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
A google translate of the "about" page on YouTube says:
Cheer up! We are Sasha and Masha, and This is our cat, his name is Messi. We bought this cougar from a contact zoo at the age of one year. We live in a regular apartment where Messi organized a cozy corner. We go to the toilet twice a day; we walk there and waste energy. The cat eats only meat products, properly balanced diet. Strictly according to the rules. In addition, we go to training classes 4 times a week. Messi is very affectionate and contact cat, does not bite, does not spoil the furniture and plays without claws. He likes when he is stroked and loves to talk. Also the kitty (sphinx) Kira lives with us and she does not like the cat very much. She beats his paws and hisses at him.posted by slkinsey at 12:57 PM on December 3, 2018 [9 favorites]
No need to offer to release the cat in the nearest forest or pass in the reserve. That makes no sense. The state of health of this animal does not allow him to live not only in the wild, but even in an aviary on the street.
We sincerely do not recommend getting puma at home. It is very dangerous! Messi is unique, do not repeat it!
When you don't want your puma to be a pyew-ma.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:57 PM on December 3, 2018 [11 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:57 PM on December 3, 2018 [11 favorites]
This is adorably cute but why - why? - would you share your home with a wild beast that could easily kill you and eat you?
I don't know but that human should be put in a cage before it harms someone.
posted by Fizz at 12:59 PM on December 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
I don't know but that human should be put in a cage before it harms someone.
posted by Fizz at 12:59 PM on December 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
KITTY! Kitty. Kitty? KITTY. Kitty. ... KITTY!
posted by seanmpuckett at 1:02 PM on December 3, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 1:02 PM on December 3, 2018 [6 favorites]
He is a contact cat, meaning he can make contact with you however you like. You know, I'm pretty annoyed with stories like this. Just because this poor cat was abused from birth, most likely, and can't be released in the wild, doesn't mean its appropriate he live in a home and be the subject in cutesy videos. I want to like it, and I also agree with the mods that some things can be just cute instead of problematic, but my goodness I'm sorry I gave them a click. I feel terrible for this animal.
posted by agregoli at 1:03 PM on December 3, 2018 [11 favorites]
posted by agregoli at 1:03 PM on December 3, 2018 [11 favorites]
Just handling my younger cat is kind of a lot of work. Why would you want a puma in your apartment? On the other hand, Messi doesn’t seem too put out by this, so maybe OK?
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:04 PM on December 3, 2018
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:04 PM on December 3, 2018
(A wild animal's life is not like this. He could use a lot more they are not giving him. I don't see how that could NOT be true)
posted by agregoli at 1:06 PM on December 3, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by agregoli at 1:06 PM on December 3, 2018 [5 favorites]
I have read about Messi elsewhere, he was a runt with health problems and never would have survived in the wild. so domestic life is his option. these people adopted him and made a space for him in their lives. its pretty crazy, but I'm not saying I wouldn't do it myself...
posted by supermedusa at 1:11 PM on December 3, 2018 [19 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 1:11 PM on December 3, 2018 [19 favorites]
Mods, we need a tag called "crazy Russians".
posted by twoplussix at 1:55 PM on December 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by twoplussix at 1:55 PM on December 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
Just imagining the litterbox...
posted by rp at 1:58 PM on December 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by rp at 1:58 PM on December 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Where would you even get a scanner that big?
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 2:08 PM on December 3, 2018 [37 favorites]
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 2:08 PM on December 3, 2018 [37 favorites]
In Soviet Russia, cougar washes you.
posted by humboldt32 at 2:13 PM on December 3, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by humboldt32 at 2:13 PM on December 3, 2018 [4 favorites]
More info about Messi.
Forgive my skepticism about Messi being incapable of anything other than being a pet in a frigging apartment, from the article: "The Dmitrievs want to soon move to a bigger house and hope to add a leopard to their family to give Messi a playmate. "
Flagged for animal cruelty, I'm afraid.
posted by smoke at 2:54 PM on December 3, 2018 [8 favorites]
Forgive my skepticism about Messi being incapable of anything other than being a pet in a frigging apartment, from the article: "The Dmitrievs want to soon move to a bigger house and hope to add a leopard to their family to give Messi a playmate. "
Flagged for animal cruelty, I'm afraid.
posted by smoke at 2:54 PM on December 3, 2018 [8 favorites]
Coincidentally, ShoutFactory's live streaming channel, as part of its 'MST3K Mondays' is right now showing "Pumaman"...
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:43 PM on December 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:43 PM on December 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
Is it the "Director's Cut" version where they give Pumaman a bath?
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:53 PM on December 3, 2018
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:53 PM on December 3, 2018
For some reason my eyes read plum for puma so I was rather curveballed.
posted by vrakatar at 5:10 PM on December 3, 2018
posted by vrakatar at 5:10 PM on December 3, 2018
The cats liked watching the videos, but I'm not sure what they got from it. It does make me wonder if my rescue Ernest might speak some other language than English - he's from the streets but enjoys being around people too much to be a total stray.
If I wanted to talk to my cat in Russian or Vietnamese, what would I say to get his attention?
posted by fiercekitten at 5:12 PM on December 3, 2018
If I wanted to talk to my cat in Russian or Vietnamese, what would I say to get his attention?
posted by fiercekitten at 5:12 PM on December 3, 2018
For some reason my eyes read plum for puma so I was rather curveballed.
To be fair, you also have to wash plums very very carefully. However you probably wouldn't want to put a puma in an icebox.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:30 PM on December 3, 2018
To be fair, you also have to wash plums very very carefully. However you probably wouldn't want to put a puma in an icebox.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:30 PM on December 3, 2018
That really is a beautiful animal.
posted by 4ster at 5:44 PM on December 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by 4ster at 5:44 PM on December 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
you have been eaten by
the puma
who was in
the icebox
and whom
you were probably
thinking of
as a pet
forgive him
you were delicious
and he is
a contact cat
posted by Pallas Athena at 5:49 PM on December 3, 2018 [40 favorites]
the puma
who was in
the icebox
and whom
you were probably
thinking of
as a pet
forgive him
you were delicious
and he is
a contact cat
posted by Pallas Athena at 5:49 PM on December 3, 2018 [40 favorites]
fiercekitten; To greet your kitty in Russian, begin with "Privet, koska." Which is literally "Hello, cat". To say the same in Vietnamese, "xin chào mèo". For a prounciation guide to either, (which I dare not atrempt pre-coffee), Google Translate is a great place to start.
posted by Lizard at 4:22 AM on December 4, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Lizard at 4:22 AM on December 4, 2018 [1 favorite]
Okay, what is a contact cat? Google seems to think that I want to contact a variety of things abbreviated CAT.
posted by Frowner at 9:06 AM on December 4, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Frowner at 9:06 AM on December 4, 2018 [1 favorite]
I understood it to mean petting zoo, or something along those lines. Trained to be in constant contact with people.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 9:22 AM on December 4, 2018
posted by ArgentCorvid at 9:22 AM on December 4, 2018
Holy god that is a large animal, and so, so beautiful. Having one for a pet seems like a seriously bad idea.
My cat George would not suffer such an indignity. Given George's reaction, I cannot imagine trying to bathe 75 pounds of muscle attached to 5 pounds of claws and teeth. Messi doesn't seem to mind it much, but what happens if he changes his mind?
posted by corvikate at 9:33 AM on December 4, 2018
My cat George would not suffer such an indignity. Given George's reaction, I cannot imagine trying to bathe 75 pounds of muscle attached to 5 pounds of claws and teeth. Messi doesn't seem to mind it much, but what happens if he changes his mind?
posted by corvikate at 9:33 AM on December 4, 2018
Okay, what is a contact cat?
michelangelo's creation of adam but cat is god and you are adam
posted by poffin boffin at 11:18 AM on December 5, 2018 [1 favorite]
michelangelo's creation of adam but cat is god and you are adam
posted by poffin boffin at 11:18 AM on December 5, 2018 [1 favorite]
This explains so much.
Not least those times when my cat, Dr. Cat, reaches out to poke me with her paw. She's hoping that I'll be born again and born different, with different meaning "willing to feed nothing but the savory salmon flavor cat treats".
posted by Frowner at 11:43 AM on December 5, 2018
Not least those times when my cat, Dr. Cat, reaches out to poke me with her paw. She's hoping that I'll be born again and born different, with different meaning "willing to feed nothing but the savory salmon flavor cat treats".
posted by Frowner at 11:43 AM on December 5, 2018
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