MOOSE SUPREMACY
January 21, 2019 7:19 AM   Subscribe

Norway town ready to battle Canadian city for world's tallest moose statue

In an apparent declaration of moose war, a Norwegian town’s deputy mayor says her town will do whatever is necessary to prevent Moose Jaw, Sask. from reclaiming the title of having the world’s largest moose sculpture.

posted by poffin boffin (39 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
First they come for Hans Island, then they come for our mooses. This aggression cannot stand.
posted by Palindromedary at 7:27 AM on January 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


We're going to build the moose! And Saskatchewan is going to pay for it!
-- Norway
posted by Naberius at 7:31 AM on January 21, 2019 [14 favorites]


I have to admit, theirs is a much prettier moose. Maybe if ours didn't appear to have been spray painted with matte primer, it would be nicer.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:32 AM on January 21, 2019 [7 favorites]


Mynd you, møøse heights Kan be pretti nasti...
posted by 7segment at 7:33 AM on January 21, 2019 [8 favorites]


As a Canadian, I have to say that Stor-Elvdal's shiny and reflective statue wins on style points alone. That's some sexy statuary.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:39 AM on January 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


As a Canadian, I have to say that ours probably just needs more Robertson screws.
posted by transient at 8:10 AM on January 21, 2019 [10 favorites]


Shiny moose is too shiny; needs more Deco contouring.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:17 AM on January 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


Scary moose, scary moose, can you do the fandango?
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:18 AM on January 21, 2019 [10 favorites]


Please please can they be robot mecha-moose and can they walk/fly out into the Atlantic and have a big fight in Iceland?
posted by rikschell at 8:18 AM on January 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


As far as I'm concerned the Norwegian moose is the better moose. However, if they try and muscle into our nickel territory they will lament the day they crossed us.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:33 AM on January 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


I'm ambivalent about geese however.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:35 AM on January 21, 2019


Surely the Norwegians actually have the world’s biggest elk statue?
posted by Segundus at 8:44 AM on January 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


Could it be... a hartebeest?
posted by flabdablet at 8:51 AM on January 21, 2019


If you are going to talk about moose, you should mention how Thomas Jefferson sent a moose to France to disprove a theory that America's swamplands makes everything that grows there small and degenerate (by a man named Count Buffoon, of all things).
posted by eye of newt at 8:51 AM on January 21, 2019 [3 favorites]


Surely the Norwegians actually have the world's largest elk statue?

That's what I thought, too, but it turns out that in Europe, they refer to moose as elk. (Elk they call wapiti.)

In my opinion, the Norwegians, no matter how shiny their giant statue is, don't win until they put the word 'Moose' into the name of their town.
posted by LeLiLo at 8:57 AM on January 21, 2019


As soon as I heard Mayor Tolmie's accent, I thought (to paraphrase comedian Ryan Hamilton), you know, I think that man is legit from Saskatchewan.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 9:09 AM on January 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


Sorry if this ruffles any fjær, but if you're the type of person who needs your art to look like the thing it's depicting, then yes, Norway's is much nicer.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:12 AM on January 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


Never have I been so proud to be a Canadian.
posted by Fizz at 9:20 AM on January 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


It's important to remember it's not just about size, it's what you do with it.
posted by mazola at 9:21 AM on January 21, 2019


Surely the Norwegians actually have the world's largest elk statue?

That's what I thought, too, but it turns out that in Europe, they refer to moose as elk. (Elk they call wapiti.)


Exactly! Since the Norwegian statue is in Europe, it's clearly called an elk, not a moose. So there is one big Elk statue, and one big Moose Statue, and we don't have to fight.

It's a very silly fight.
posted by jb at 9:35 AM on January 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


I like the idea of a big shiny moose that you can stand under out in the middle of nowhere as opposed to a brown moose near an airplane and probably a hotel.

"Honey, did you see that?"
"What, dear?"
"No, a moose! A big silver moose!"
"Maybe I should drive...."
posted by ashbury at 9:35 AM on January 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


Hmm... seems like the Scandinavians are muscling in on another giant statuary debate: Solar Egg vs Vegreville Egg. I guess the Solar Egg is functional art as it is a sauna but still... the Vegreville Egg is a nice giant egg.
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:04 AM on January 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


I much prefer the moose colored moose over the one that looks like a predator moose with thermoptic camouflage
posted by mattamatic at 10:26 AM on January 21, 2019 [3 favorites]


I appreciate eye of newt dragging in the Theory of American Degeneracy! But it's Buffon, not Buffoon. His writing has a very long tail in our colonialist thinking. If the Americas were degenerate by nature, you see, European colonists had a duty to "improve" the land (and, of course, any people wandering around needing civilisation through Christianisation.)

Moose Jaw doesn't need the biggest moose statue to stay cool, it's still called Moose Jaw.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 10:29 AM on January 21, 2019


it's still called Moose Jaw.

Exactly. They were name dropped in beloved disco movie, The Apple. To the best of my knowledge, Stor-Elvdal has never been mentioned in a disco movie.
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:36 AM on January 21, 2019


Stor-Edval translates to Big-River-Valley. So I want to know if Little-River-Valley has a smaller moose and more modest ambitions.

Also Moosejaw Saskatchewan has 15 wings and dragoons so not to be messed with lightly.
posted by srboisvert at 10:42 AM on January 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


a brown moose near an airplane

That there is a CF-114 Tutor in Snowbirds livery. They're a demonstration squadron based out of CFB Moose Jaw. The Tutor isn't a fast plane, but they're pretty fun to watch.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:44 AM on January 21, 2019


And quite frankly I'm surprised that Moose Factory doesn't have an ungulate in this altercation.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:47 AM on January 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


mandolin conspiracy: I have to say that Stor-Elvdal's shiny and reflective statue wins on style points alone. That's some sexy statuary.

GenjiandProust: Shiny moose is too shiny.

Ah, it was fantastic, it was like a glossy bitch. It was so bright, it was a metallic wonder. Small boys would rather eat a pair of scissors than go near the glossy bitch. "Don't make me go near it, I'll eat another pair of scissors. I can't look at it, it's doin' me pupils in!"
posted by filthy light thief at 11:10 AM on January 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


I feel like this thread needs The Last Saskatchewan Pirate in it.
posted by Wolfdog at 11:12 AM on January 21, 2019


Moose Jaw doesn't need the biggest moose statue to stay cool, it's still called Moose Jaw.

Other cool things about Moose Jaw, in order of their interest to me:

- JG Ballard was stationed there for RAF training and it was where he was introduced to science fiction!

- Steam tunnels beneath the city were used by bootleggers (Maybe Al Capone himself?!?) and persecuted Chinese migrants, and now you can tour these spaces guided by local youths portraying gangsters and molls, or be yelled at by a teenager playing a cruel laundromat owner!

- There's a natural hot springs thing!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:12 AM on January 21, 2019 [6 favorites]


Whatever else happens, the best moose is the first moose, a.k.a. Max, a.k.a. the one from my hometown.
posted by Fish Sauce at 11:21 AM on January 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


Bill Laidlaw, longtime Dryden resident and self-described moose advocate, said the city of Dryden and Chamber of Commerce created Max the Moose along the highway to be a focal point for tourist information.

[...]

"But I will take my hat off to the folks in Moose Jaw who created a nice ginormous moose to celebrate a moose where moose don't live," Laidlaw said.


Oh, snap. That's some serious shade, eh?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:34 AM on January 21, 2019 [6 favorites]


"But I will take my hat off to the folks in Moose Jaw who created a nice ginormous moose to celebrate a moose where moose don't live," Laidlaw said.

Spoken like a true Northern Ontarian.
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:49 AM on January 21, 2019 [3 favorites]


I like the idea of a big shiny moose that you can stand under out in the middle of nowhere as opposed to a brown moose near an airplane and probably a hotel.

So, on rural highways in eastern WA / ID panhandle, and far west MT, there can be seen life-size metal (not shiny) Sasquatch cutouts which are stationed not near the road but within view of the road, like an out-of-the-corner-of-your-eye thing as you drive along. I know where maybe 4 of them are, sort of. They are easy to miss. They aren't not common at all, thank goodness, but I like the fact that they are there. There might be many more of them than I'm aware of but it's not like they're easy to see even if you know where they are.
posted by hippybear at 8:31 PM on January 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


Wait until you see the world's largest cheese slicer.
posted by Vesihiisi at 11:15 PM on January 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


Scary moose, scary moose, can you do the fandango?

Excellent work, seanmpuckett. You should be very proud.

Please please can they be robot mecha-moose and can they walk/fly out into the Atlantic and have a big fight in Iceland?

Only if Michael Bay directs the movie.
posted by Paul Slade at 4:54 AM on January 22, 2019 [1 favorite]


Sasquatch cutouts: There is a house up the road from us that has two life-size Sasquatch cutouts, and they feature in the holiday yard decor for Halloween, Christmas , Valentines Day and Easter.For each Holiday, they are adorned with suitable props, pumkins, Santa hats, hearts and roses, Easter baskets. If it were my yard they would include St.Patrick's Day too, but they do not have Irish heritage. They are black, I think made of wood, and a picture I took was in Weird NJ Magazine a few years ago. I love seeing them here in suburban NJ. A giant Bullwinkle Moose would go well with them.
posted by mermayd at 6:46 AM on January 22, 2019


First they come for Hans Island, then they come for our mooses.

Sheesh. Metafilter. Everyone knows it's not mooses. It's meese.
posted by notreally at 9:35 AM on January 22, 2019


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