chuck it around before you chow down
January 25, 2019 2:54 PM   Subscribe

Dolphins beat up octopuses before eating them, and the reason is kind of horrifying: "Dolphins have two basic tactics here. One is to hold the octopus in their mouths, swim up out of the water, then slam back down to force the octopus’ body apart. The second is for the dolphin to move their head sideways and throw the octopus, essentially achieving the same slamming effect. Their reward for this trick is a high-protein meal, which is apparently worth the energy it takes to fully disarm dinner first." [study PDF]
posted by not_the_water (38 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
 
I mean this is fascinating but to call this behavior “horrifying” as in the first article is very anthropocentric. Nature red in tooth and claw and such- it’s just feeding behavior in an intelligent mammal who figured out a way to not get choked by its meal. The study is cool.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 3:01 PM on January 25, 2019 [29 favorites]


I think I have seen his behavior from seals as well...
posted by eustatic at 3:03 PM on January 25, 2019 [4 favorites]


Previously.
posted by NoxAeternum at 3:07 PM on January 25, 2019 [3 favorites]


I think the horrifying part they are referring to is "being choked to death by zombie tentacles."
posted by Zalzidrax at 3:11 PM on January 25, 2019 [5 favorites]


octopus

disarmed

I see what you did there.
posted by hippybear at 3:23 PM on January 25, 2019 [14 favorites]


Previously.

Gee, octopuses are like the Rodney Dangerfields of the sea world. No respect--at least not from dolphins and seals.
posted by fuse theorem at 3:26 PM on January 25, 2019


/s/parrot/octopus/g Pet Shop Sketch

#LazyAssJoke #CantBeBotheredToTranscribe
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:40 PM on January 25, 2019 [1 favorite]


Orcas not impressed.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 3:51 PM on January 25, 2019 [8 favorites]


I know that some traditional Greek preparations of octopus involve grasping the ends of the tentacles and repeatedly slamming the body against a rock - for tenderization purposes.

I wonder if dolphins (and seals) have grokked on the tenderization process as well?
posted by porpoise at 3:54 PM on January 25, 2019 [4 favorites]


eponysterical
posted by hippybear at 3:58 PM on January 25, 2019 [2 favorites]


Predator shaming?
posted by humboldt32 at 3:58 PM on January 25, 2019 [2 favorites]


But but but... dolphins are kind sweet cute, can't we get one of the animal organizations, peta or something to raise money to teach them it's better to be vegan?
posted by sammyo at 4:16 PM on January 25, 2019 [7 favorites]


I was puzzled by the click-baity title too and finally decided it was referring to the tentacles still moving around after being eaten. That doesn't seem all that horrifying either.

Now, if a tentacle crawled further down your digestive tract, punched a hole through your intestine, spread excrement throughout your peritonital cavity, then burst out through your navel and punched you in the face ... that would be horrifying. I think I can say without fear of contradiction that that would be one bad-ass tentacle.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 4:20 PM on January 25, 2019 [5 favorites]


Imagine your hands and feet shitting.

That's pretty horrifying.

That's what Gilgamesh's Chauffeur wants you to imagine. Hands and feet shitting. After being involuntary eaten by crawling down your digestive tract.

Horrifying, indeed.
posted by hippybear at 4:23 PM on January 25, 2019 [1 favorite]


I'm sure PETA would be happy to add "vegan dolphins" to their save the sea kittens campaign.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 4:24 PM on January 25, 2019 [2 favorites]


mmm catfish
posted by pyramid termite at 4:51 PM on January 25, 2019 [1 favorite]


I remember eating live octopus in a Korean nightclub. I imagined being a dolphin or a shark.
posted by bonobothegreat at 4:55 PM on January 25, 2019 [1 favorite]


remember eating live octopus

I think I speak for the rest of the site when I say wat
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:18 PM on January 25, 2019 [5 favorites]


In Soviet Russia, live octopus eats you! /YacobSmirnoff
posted by hippybear at 5:24 PM on January 25, 2019


Nature bats last
posted by pipoquinha at 5:28 PM on January 25, 2019


I think I speak for the rest of the site when I say wat

You haven't seen Oldboy yet?
posted by brianrobot at 5:31 PM on January 25, 2019 [6 favorites]


I think I speak for the rest of the site when I say wat

It gets mentioned in the article, as well as the fact that every so often, the octopus wins and kills the person eating it (which even wound up in 1000 Ways To Die.)
posted by NoxAeternum at 5:58 PM on January 25, 2019 [2 favorites]


In Galician Spain there is an octopus preparation (pulpo?) that involves dunking the octopus 30 times or so. I think to the same effect - tenderizing the meat.
posted by grimjeer at 6:08 PM on January 25, 2019


It is well known that should you ever find yourself stranded on a desert isle with only a live octopus for food, you must grasp it by its tentacles and slam it on a rock to kill it.

Well known.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 6:16 PM on January 25, 2019 [5 favorites]


Obstructing the rise our cephalopod overlords like this is just rude.
posted by snerson at 6:33 PM on January 25, 2019


But oh so tasty
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:36 PM on January 25, 2019


Seriously, I had this once at a good restaurant and it was unbelievably delicious. One of these days I'm going to try recreating it at home.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:38 PM on January 25, 2019


mine didn't have the fancy green dots tho
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:39 PM on January 25, 2019


(if you are seeing green dots, you should probably go to the doctor)
posted by hippybear at 6:43 PM on January 25, 2019 [1 favorite]


/classic joke derail

"Man, I've been seeing spots before my eyes all day!"
"Have you seen a doctor?"
"...No, just spots..."

/end derail

posted by Greg_Ace at 6:55 PM on January 25, 2019 [15 favorites]


Help, I can't figure out how to mark Greg's comment Best Answer.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 7:31 PM on January 25, 2019 [5 favorites]


Ehh, it's the thought that counts. (especially since tentacles can only count up to 8)
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:17 PM on January 25, 2019 [1 favorite]


i read somewhere that when (not if, when) ocean acidification due to global warming kills off most widely consumed food fish, we'll still have plenty of octopus cuz they prefer warmer, more acidic waters. so... hey, at least they taste good.

:/
posted by wibari at 9:09 PM on January 25, 2019 [1 favorite]


We'll, octopus may not be that plentiful either, if their food sources dwindle. I wonder how jellyfish taste.
posted by bonobothegreat at 10:15 AM on January 26, 2019 [1 favorite]


I wonder how jellyfish taste.

It's pretty neutral and tastes mostly of the seasoning. It's a common appetizer in Chinese cuisine, seasoned primarily with sesame oil, fish sauce, and a little soy sauce.

Jellyfish isn't particularly nutritious, though. A cup of jellyfish gives you only about 20 calories, although it's about 2/3rd protein.

You'd need about 100 cups of it for a day's calories.

I suppose you could dry it out and grind it into powder to concentrate it.
posted by porpoise at 3:07 PM on January 26, 2019


remember eating live octopus

I think I speak for the rest of the site when I say wat

Well, it's not really live at that point. It's a dish called sannakji [ 산낙지 ].


Eating live octopus (and fermented stingray).
posted by Lexica at 3:37 PM on January 26, 2019


The octopus I mentioned above was more or less how anem0ne describes but the "residual reflex activity" is pretty close to seeming alive - they're wiggling around in your mouth and the suction cups are grabbing onto your teeth and gums. Preceding that was some sea slug and it's weird to bite down on something and feel it "resisting".
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:31 PM on January 26, 2019


Octopus arms are semi-autonomous, so yeah they're going to be a lot more "alive" than the average severed appendage.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:34 PM on January 26, 2019


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