Adult Baby Boom
January 27, 2019 6:16 PM   Subscribe

(nsfw) The ABDL (Adult Baby/Diaper fetish) community is bigger and more common than you thought with almost as many brands of ABDL diapers as regular diapers. Some retailers even have storefronts with oversized nursery furniture. Several incontinence supply companies even cater to the ABDL market too.

Friendly reminder: ABDLs want to be LIKE children, not to be WITH children.
Despite some pop culture references seeping into the public eye, the ABDL community is by no means accepted at large. But Dan Savage has softened his take on this former “fetish too far” to a more accepting stance.

With the shuttering of adult content at Tumblr, the ABDL Mastodon instance is in the top 20 for user count amongst all instances; and a podcast hostess, who goes by the name 'Lo,' has a long-running show named Dream A Little that both chronicles the sharing of her age play kink with her partner, and dispenses advice to help listeners do the same. Episodes include observations such as the following:

"The first step to overcoming shame is to accept yourself and know that it is a part of you that you can’t just push away. Rejection teaches you a lot. You learn about yourself and you discover the people who are accepting of who you are." (Episode 101)
posted by hwyengr (21 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite


 
Thank you for a very educational post! I mentioned in a previous thread that I have a gay, formerly-closeted ABDL friend. I'm going to send him the link for Lo's podcast. I just skimmed it quickly but it looks like good stuff.

(Happy to report that I and my friend are going to the Chicago ABDL convention! For me it's about making sure that he gets connected with this community so he won't have to feel shamed and isolated any more. But I must admit that I myself, a cishet mostly-vanilla woman, am really looking forward this because I've read that apparently, the convention has gigantic stuffed animals. Also I'm looking forward to just, y'know, learning.)

OK off to look at the rest of your links now!
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 6:22 PM on January 27 [12 favorites]


This is an interesting post. I don't have a lot to contribute (I would probably just get in the way) but I just wanted to say it's interesting and thank you for posting it.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 6:25 PM on January 27 [11 favorites]


I don't have anything to say directly about ABDL, and I suspect most people reading this post won't either. However I do have something I'd like to say.

There is an artist, who I will not name specifically, who was non-binary and showed interest in ABDL. If you spent any time watching flash animations posted on Something Awful 10+ years ago, you're probably familiar with this artist's work. They vanished entirely from the internet a couple years ago after a long harassment campaign. From what I saw of the campaign, they were conflating ABDL with pedophilia. I enjoyed this artist's work and miss them immensely, and fervently hope they are alive and well somewhere away from the folks wishing them harm. ABDL is an often misunderstood community. I honestly barely understand it myself, but I do my best to respect it because I've seen the damage that misunderstanding it can do.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:49 PM on January 27 [14 favorites]


This is some niche content on a topic I don't know much about! Great post!
posted by Going To Maine at 7:36 PM on January 27


A hundred episodes of a niche podcast!
posted by Going To Maine at 7:38 PM on January 27


I figure it's whatever blows your boat up, and you just steam ahead and let your freak pennant fly. But on the other hand, as another cishet mostly-vanilla woman, I kind of want to give a side eye to those folks who are voluntary wearing diapers. As a 65 yo mother of four, I'd prefer not to even think about anything involving stress incontinence.
posted by BlueHorse at 7:42 PM on January 27 [18 favorites]


I myself, a cishet mostly-vanilla woman, am really looking forward this because I've read that apparently, the convention has gigantic stuffed animals.

I have a 5' tall teddy bear. It's quite an object to own.
posted by hippybear at 7:58 PM on January 27 [9 favorites]


clarification: I don't own it for this kind of fetish thing. I own it because I was lonely and wanted someone to snuggle with.
posted by hippybear at 7:59 PM on January 27 [27 favorites]


Anybody who's bothered by this topic is of course free to read Metafilter's other fine posts, and bypass this one.

On topic, I should clarify that I asked the Chicago convention organizers if it'd be ok for me to attend, and told them that my reasons were to help my introvert's introvert friend to find his people. They said that I was welcome, as long as I follow the rules that apply to every attendee. Their rules strike me as giving a serious shit about protecting everybody's boundaries (eg, "there will be absolutely no defecation in any convention area or during any official convention event. For those with disabilities, we understand that you will discreetly take care of the situation"), and also protecting everybody from the possibility of being outed by judgey jerks (eg "Photography, videography, audio or any other form of digital media content recording of any kind is strictly forbidden to ensure attendee privacy and safety"). I am looking forward to being among such a compassionate group of people.

hippybear, pics of your teddy bear?
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 8:27 PM on January 27 [13 favorites]


The linked nemobility.com talking about their storefront in Albany is making my eyes leak a little bit over here. The idea that you can accept people even if you fundamentally don't get their thing, that you can tell your employees "being open-hearted is the ground rule, give it a try", that's... humanity. I can't imagine what it must be like to walk for the first time into a real place with real people who know and accept you even for a commercial transaction.
posted by away for regrooving at 11:52 PM on January 27 [11 favorites]


> I have a 5' tall teddy bear. It's quite an object to own. -- hippybear

I'd like to hear from the teddy bear on this.
posted by rokusan at 3:56 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]


ABDL (Adult Baby/Diaper fetish)

What does the L stand for?
posted by Dysk at 4:05 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]


Lovers.
posted by Vesihiisi at 4:18 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]


I'll go ahead and out myself as part of this community. It is still stigmatized to an extent in the broader kink community, but that is fading fast. The internet is of course a massive help in that, as well as helping people find others to share their interest with.

In my own personal Abdl style relationship, I value the intense closeness and intimacy it provides. We are super caring towards one another, because I understand that while she is a fully capable adult, she can be very tender hearted and take any negative comments way too seriously.

Meanwhile, she is always striving to make me proud, because it makes her happy, and helps her feel secure for the first time in her life.

Oh, and the Abdl community is also really diverse in my little corner of the world.

So feel free to ask me anything. Private messages are ok too
posted by Jacen at 5:24 AM on January 28 [21 favorites]


The idea that you can accept people even if you fundamentally don't get their thing, that you can tell your employees "being open-hearted is the ground rule, give it a try", that's... humanity.

It's obviously good business as well, but I agree -- everyone should have access to that kind of accepting and open approach to buying whatever niche items they need for their personal pleasure.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:11 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]


...I'd prefer not to even think about anything involving stress incontinence.

fwiw, I've heard that adult diapers marketed for kink are far more comfortable and effective than those marketed medically, which is unfortunate, if believably ableist on the part of the manufacturers.
posted by bagel at 7:31 AM on January 28 [5 favorites]


are far more comfortable and effective than those marketed medically

This is a whole topic that I wanted to include in the post, but it’s very much anecdotal with no solid links.

The consensus is that US insurance and Medicare, being what it is, keeps the best diapers out of the American medical system. European medical adult diapers are far more protective and suitable to types of incontinence that are not a continuous slow drip. American hospital diapers are barely more than a couple pieces of paper towel in a waterproof shell.

Before the ABDL-specific diapers came to the market in the late 2000s, the kink community sought out these Euro brands (Molicare, Abena, Betterdry, Tena Slip) and created enough of a demand to start getting them imported.
posted by hwyengr at 7:46 AM on January 28 [17 favorites]


> Their rules strike me as giving a serious shit about protecting everybody's boundaries (eg, "there will be absolutely no defecation in any convention area or during any official convention event.

Hello, flashbacks to sitting at a table in a furry con's dealer's room next to someone who has a presence in the "cub" scene (the furry flavor of ADBL) and realizing that there was a person talking to them who was (a) distinctly crinkly and (b) emitting a distinctive scent, I'm glad to know the folks running that ADBL con are aware of how gross that looks from outside.

Not my thing, but I have friends who're into it. I've seen enough people who're into it in part because it's a way of processing childhood trauma that I'm not gonna try to make them stop, despite the fact that drawing your fursona enacting age-reversion fantasies can easily lead to art that is nigh-indistinguishable from child porn to outside eyes, and may even be triggering to childhood abuse survivors who are not processing it via their horny fantasies. It's a thorny, tangled mess that I'm glad I don't have to juggle in my life.
posted by egypturnash at 9:38 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]


I have a 5' tall teddy bear. It's quite an object to own.
posted by hippybear (more ebeary-sterical--no?)

Hmmm. Hippybear, are sure that bear doesn't own YOU?
posted by BlueHorse at 12:30 PM on January 28


I know a few folks who fall under this category. Not my thing, but they seem to be grooving on it and it's not being obviously unhealthy for them, so, hey, awesome for them! ("Your kink is not my kink but your kink is okay")
posted by rmd1023 at 3:49 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: distinctly crinkly
posted by Going To Maine at 5:35 PM on January 29 [1 favorite]


« Older Chemical Reactions   |   Kirby's Collab Collab Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments