The chonkers are getting chonkier
March 8, 2019 9:28 PM Subscribe
Unlike most domesticated species, cats are actually increasing in size, Danish scientists warn. (Full-text article).
Drums. Drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A Shadow moves in the dark... We cannot get out... They are coming.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 9:42 PM on March 8, 2019 [43 favorites]
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 9:42 PM on March 8, 2019 [43 favorites]
If this trend continues indefinitely, global warming will be due entirely to the globe being a cat.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:43 PM on March 8, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:43 PM on March 8, 2019 [7 favorites]
All I have to say is, how soon can we decide to stop trying to make "heckin'" happen?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:11 PM on March 8, 2019 [13 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:11 PM on March 8, 2019 [13 favorites]
you're eating us out of house and home, garmfield
posted by J.K. Seazer at 10:24 PM on March 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by J.K. Seazer at 10:24 PM on March 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
I've always wondered why cats drawn in manuscripts and paintings from the Middle Ages look so reptilian, unlike modern-day big floofy cuties.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 10:45 PM on March 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 10:45 PM on March 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
So if I'm reading this correctly I can tell my cats: "BE PROUD FOR YOU ARE MIGHTIER THAN YOUR VIKING FORBEARS"?
posted by firebrick at 11:35 PM on March 8, 2019 [37 favorites]
posted by firebrick at 11:35 PM on March 8, 2019 [37 favorites]
I am proud to report that my older and more dignified cat is actually a bit smaller in size due to some lite cat food and finding toys she will play with. She still tubby-ish, but she is getting a “waist.”
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:35 AM on March 9, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:35 AM on March 9, 2019 [9 favorites]
Our current resident was a lithe ex-street cat who, although always anxious to have some food in his bowl, ate very sparingly and was never greedy...
Until we changed food brands, and suddenly he's constantly howling for more, eating double the rda if we don't carefully check with each other when he's already been fed, and packing on weight at an absolute rate. Turns out he just didn't like the old food that much.
His Cat Mother the other day - "I thought you were being mean when you said he was getting fatter, but his head... looks so much... smaller." We'll have to watch it but I'm just glad he's enjoying food so much, honestly.
posted by ominous_paws at 12:42 AM on March 9, 2019 [24 favorites]
Until we changed food brands, and suddenly he's constantly howling for more, eating double the rda if we don't carefully check with each other when he's already been fed, and packing on weight at an absolute rate. Turns out he just didn't like the old food that much.
His Cat Mother the other day - "I thought you were being mean when you said he was getting fatter, but his head... looks so much... smaller." We'll have to watch it but I'm just glad he's enjoying food so much, honestly.
posted by ominous_paws at 12:42 AM on March 9, 2019 [24 favorites]
This is Darwinian evolution at it's finest. Tiny kitties you have to he careful with. Big old fat kitties you can pick up and rock and be like "whose the biggest kitty?" And the belly scratching advantage? Please. It's obvious. Nature want a big ole kiddy.
posted by nestor_makhno at 1:15 AM on March 9, 2019 [45 favorites]
posted by nestor_makhno at 1:15 AM on March 9, 2019 [45 favorites]
Pigs, cows, and sheep have all also got bigger since the Viking period. It all depends what you breed domesticates for. I'm surprised that they don't mention selective breeding for size for the fur trade as a potential reason for bigger cats.
posted by Vortisaur at 1:38 AM on March 9, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Vortisaur at 1:38 AM on March 9, 2019 [5 favorites]
So wait. Cats act crazy to make us think they have no strategy, while secretly plotting a Darwinian Long Con to ultimately be able to eat our faces? Learn a new thing every day.
posted by Namlit at 2:45 AM on March 9, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by Namlit at 2:45 AM on March 9, 2019 [6 favorites]
This is Darwinian evolution at it's finest. Tiny kitties you have to he careful with. Big old fat kitties you can pick up and rock and be like "whose the biggest kitty?" And the belly scratching advantage? Please. It's obvious.
and also they cant flee from you or hide from you because how can you not spot a giant orange saladbowl with legs trying to hide under your bed?
at least you can hear these chonks when they're coming up or down the stairs. Those little cats are deadly on a dark staircase -- can't even hear em coming. chonkskis on the other hand... you always know where they at.
posted by some loser at 3:39 AM on March 9, 2019 [15 favorites]
This is very odd; Norwegian forest cats, supposedly the preferred cat of Vikings, are large; in fact, weren’t two such cats supposed to be enough to pull Freya’s chariot?
posted by Segundus at 3:41 AM on March 9, 2019 [12 favorites]
posted by Segundus at 3:41 AM on March 9, 2019 [12 favorites]
My two adult cats weigh 17.5 lbs. and 8 lbs. According to the vet they are BOTH at 'healthy' weights. Vet was like "Oh, that is a BIG cat" when he saw Kobe, the larger of the two. I was all "So, is he too fat?" and vet was "No, no, he's fine. He's just a very large cat." So, even, in modern times there is quite a range of cat sizes. (My cats are freebie barn cats of a generic sort.)
Interestingly, it looks like when mesopredators are freed from the downward pressure of apex predators, they get bigger. (The eastern populations of fishers are getting bigger. The western populations, where they deal with mountain lions, are NOT getting bigger.)
I wonder if something like that is going on with cats? (Closer association with people = better food and also less-getting-eaten-by-larger-predators -- these probably combine to make a somewhat safer environment where getting bigger doesn't hurt one's chances for survival.) And also, some people like bigger cats. Brother-the-younger has been after me for a while to give him Kobe, but I'm not giving away my cat. However, I know where Kobe came from and his mom Zingiber o. (a petite buff-colored half-longhair barn cat with no teeth left who somehow still manages to survive and throw about two litters of three kittens twice a year) makes huge mackerel tabby tomcats. Reliably. If Ginger puts a mackerel tabby tom on the ground, it will get huge.
Octavian (belongs to a friend) is about 16 lbs, Nepenthe (belongs to my cousin) is 16.8 lbs, Kobe is 17.5, and now Brother-the-younger has Hannibal, who is on track to be right there with them. On first vet check, vet looked at Clarice (female littermate) without comment and then regarded Hannibal (on LEFT. compare skull size with Clarice, on right). Looking at Hannibal, vet was "This cat is going to be huge." and Brother-the-younger was all "Yes" and vet was "No, I don't think you really understand. This cat is Going To Be Huge." Brother-the-younger did not disclose to vet that Hannibal was specifically selected for his potential hugeness. However, he did text me to say that the vet agreed with me about probable finished size of cat.
posted by which_chick at 3:41 AM on March 9, 2019 [24 favorites]
Interestingly, it looks like when mesopredators are freed from the downward pressure of apex predators, they get bigger. (The eastern populations of fishers are getting bigger. The western populations, where they deal with mountain lions, are NOT getting bigger.)
I wonder if something like that is going on with cats? (Closer association with people = better food and also less-getting-eaten-by-larger-predators -- these probably combine to make a somewhat safer environment where getting bigger doesn't hurt one's chances for survival.) And also, some people like bigger cats. Brother-the-younger has been after me for a while to give him Kobe, but I'm not giving away my cat. However, I know where Kobe came from and his mom Zingiber o. (a petite buff-colored half-longhair barn cat with no teeth left who somehow still manages to survive and throw about two litters of three kittens twice a year) makes huge mackerel tabby tomcats. Reliably. If Ginger puts a mackerel tabby tom on the ground, it will get huge.
Octavian (belongs to a friend) is about 16 lbs, Nepenthe (belongs to my cousin) is 16.8 lbs, Kobe is 17.5, and now Brother-the-younger has Hannibal, who is on track to be right there with them. On first vet check, vet looked at Clarice (female littermate) without comment and then regarded Hannibal (on LEFT. compare skull size with Clarice, on right). Looking at Hannibal, vet was "This cat is going to be huge." and Brother-the-younger was all "Yes" and vet was "No, I don't think you really understand. This cat is Going To Be Huge." Brother-the-younger did not disclose to vet that Hannibal was specifically selected for his potential hugeness. However, he did text me to say that the vet agreed with me about probable finished size of cat.
posted by which_chick at 3:41 AM on March 9, 2019 [24 favorites]
In awe of that lad, absolute unit.
posted by waving at 4:29 AM on March 9, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by waving at 4:29 AM on March 9, 2019 [9 favorites]
...the preferred cat of Vikings, are large; in fact, weren’t two such cats supposed to be enough to pull Freya’s chariot?
Yeah but people were smaller back then.
posted by Namlit at 4:47 AM on March 9, 2019 [14 favorites]
Yeah but people were smaller back then.
posted by Namlit at 4:47 AM on March 9, 2019 [14 favorites]
Unlike most deities, Aesir are actually increasing in size, Danish scientists warn
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:10 AM on March 9, 2019 [21 favorites]
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:10 AM on March 9, 2019 [21 favorites]
Our newest roommate is a gorgeous red tabby someone abandoned in a box at a state park. He was probably about four months old at the time and had enormous legs and paws. The vet said that once he grew into them, we’d have a big cat.
A year later it’s clear that he’s staying in the small-to-medium size range—but with really big feet that he never will catch up to. He’s a bit of a clumsy goof. So, anecdotally, I can say that our cats are in fact getting larger, just not all at once.
posted by kinnakeet at 5:22 AM on March 9, 2019 [17 favorites]
A year later it’s clear that he’s staying in the small-to-medium size range—but with really big feet that he never will catch up to. He’s a bit of a clumsy goof. So, anecdotally, I can say that our cats are in fact getting larger, just not all at once.
posted by kinnakeet at 5:22 AM on March 9, 2019 [17 favorites]
All I have to say is, how soon can we decide to stop trying to make "heckin'" happen?
It's a heckin good word, Greg_Ace.
posted by duffell at 5:23 AM on March 9, 2019 [28 favorites]
It's a heckin good word, Greg_Ace.
posted by duffell at 5:23 AM on March 9, 2019 [28 favorites]
This is what happens when you have pet predator that can stab you.
posted by srboisvert at 5:26 AM on March 9, 2019
posted by srboisvert at 5:26 AM on March 9, 2019
All I have to say is, how soon can we decide to stop trying to make "heckin'" happen?
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:11 AM on March 9
Your user name has an underscore like you are an 8.3 filename with a hidden extension and you want to dictate what is happening?
posted by srboisvert at 5:33 AM on March 9, 2019 [48 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:11 AM on March 9
Your user name has an underscore like you are an 8.3 filename with a hidden extension and you want to dictate what is happening?
posted by srboisvert at 5:33 AM on March 9, 2019 [48 favorites]
Metafilter: you want to dictate what is happening?
Also, Metafilter: freebie barn cats of a generic sort.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 6:46 AM on March 9, 2019 [2 favorites]
Also, Metafilter: freebie barn cats of a generic sort.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 6:46 AM on March 9, 2019 [2 favorites]
how soon can we decide to stop trying to make "heckin'" happen?
We got a real John Heckin-pooper over here.
posted by Space Coyote at 7:17 AM on March 9, 2019 [8 favorites]
We got a real John Heckin-pooper over here.
posted by Space Coyote at 7:17 AM on March 9, 2019 [8 favorites]
C.O.U.Ses? I don't think they exist.
posted by Wild_Eep at 7:52 AM on March 9, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by Wild_Eep at 7:52 AM on March 9, 2019 [7 favorites]
the modern internet is kind of a bad place, but there are some things about it that are so deeply but also pleasantly weird that it almost makes up for the nazis and the incels and all the silicon valley p.t. barnums.
one of those things is the internet's generalized good-natured love and admiration for very large housecats.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 8:34 AM on March 9, 2019 [21 favorites]
one of those things is the internet's generalized good-natured love and admiration for very large housecats.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 8:34 AM on March 9, 2019 [21 favorites]
I inherited a Very Large Cat, Maine Coon (RIP, Roger the cat) but the next cat we got still looks like a kitten, though he is grown. My current cat is exactly average sized. So, whatever, science guys.
posted by emjaybee at 9:04 AM on March 9, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 9:04 AM on March 9, 2019 [3 favorites]
RobotVoodooPower: "And Leon's getting laaaaarger!"
My Leon says that he's insulted by that.
posted by octothorpe at 9:22 AM on March 9, 2019 [4 favorites]
My Leon says that he's insulted by that.
posted by octothorpe at 9:22 AM on March 9, 2019 [4 favorites]
red tabby someone abandoned in a box at a state park. He was probably about four months old at the time and had enormous legs and paws. The vet said that once he grew into them, we’d have a big cat.
A year later it’s clear that he’s staying in the small-to-medium size range—but with really big feet that he never will catch up to.
Yeah, that was what I thought about the little malnourished kitten I picked up four years ago. For the first three years I was right. Turned out he just grew slowly and late. He is now huge (I mean other than just being a heckin' chonker).
posted by dilettante at 9:33 AM on March 9, 2019 [8 favorites]
A year later it’s clear that he’s staying in the small-to-medium size range—but with really big feet that he never will catch up to.
Yeah, that was what I thought about the little malnourished kitten I picked up four years ago. For the first three years I was right. Turned out he just grew slowly and late. He is now huge (I mean other than just being a heckin' chonker).
posted by dilettante at 9:33 AM on March 9, 2019 [8 favorites]
Awesome cat names, which_chick . Also, gorgeous cats.
posted by doctornemo at 9:38 AM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by doctornemo at 9:38 AM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
We also have a huge-pawed, average-sized cat (well, the larger end of average for a male, at around 12-13lbs.) He still has huge snowshoe paws, which were set off all the more by his otherwise-identical new little sister, who has the same coat and nearly the same markings and tiny, dainty little paws.
posted by restless_nomad at 11:39 AM on March 9, 2019
posted by restless_nomad at 11:39 AM on March 9, 2019
I have one gigantic cat and one tinier-than-usual cat. (I took some reference photos - Alice is something like half his weight.) Owain, the gigantor, isn't overweight, just naturally chonky, it turns out. Alice looks a little like a football, but I think that might, in part, be because she's had at least one litter of kittens. How six kittens fit in that tiny cat, I will unfortunately never know.
Also Owain is dumber than a brick but Alice survived as a stray for at least some time and is pretty smart, especially compared to her brother. (A glass of milk is smart compared to Owain, bless him.) I am preparing myself for our collective future of giant dumb cats, I guess.
posted by kalimac at 12:25 PM on March 9, 2019 [13 favorites]
Also Owain is dumber than a brick but Alice survived as a stray for at least some time and is pretty smart, especially compared to her brother. (A glass of milk is smart compared to Owain, bless him.) I am preparing myself for our collective future of giant dumb cats, I guess.
posted by kalimac at 12:25 PM on March 9, 2019 [13 favorites]
kalimac: you'll be glad, I think, to know that I just spent the better part of a minute flipping back and forth between those two pictures quietly saying "she tiny! he big! she tiny! he big!" to myself.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 1:00 PM on March 9, 2019 [19 favorites]
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 1:00 PM on March 9, 2019 [19 favorites]
My concern for fat cats is the potential for Fatty Liver Disease for cats.
If you have a big one and they stop eating, please be aware. My friend ended up losing a cat to it, so I hope to make people aware if I can.
Carry on jolly chubaroos! ^__^
posted by symbioid at 1:37 PM on March 9, 2019 [4 favorites]
If you have a big one and they stop eating, please be aware. My friend ended up losing a cat to it, so I hope to make people aware if I can.
Carry on jolly chubaroos! ^__^
posted by symbioid at 1:37 PM on March 9, 2019 [4 favorites]
On the bright side, they're less likely to get wedged into scanners
posted by kurumi at 2:49 PM on March 9, 2019
posted by kurumi at 2:49 PM on March 9, 2019
Interestingly, it looks like when mesopredators are freed from the downward pressure of apex predators, they get bigger.--which_chick
I wonder if breeding among outdoor cats has something to do with this. In a howling nighttime cat showdown, it is usually the bigger cat that dominates and therefore gets the bigger neighborhood territory and therefore is more likely to breed (at least among cats that haven't been fixed, and those are the only ones that matter in neighborhood feline evolution).
posted by eye of newt at 3:12 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
I wonder if breeding among outdoor cats has something to do with this. In a howling nighttime cat showdown, it is usually the bigger cat that dominates and therefore gets the bigger neighborhood territory and therefore is more likely to breed (at least among cats that haven't been fixed, and those are the only ones that matter in neighborhood feline evolution).
posted by eye of newt at 3:12 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
kinnakeet
Our newest roommate is a gorgeous red tabby someone abandoned in a box at a state park. He was probably about four months old at the time and had enormous legs and paws. The vet said that once he grew into them, we’d have a big cat.
A year later it’s clear that he’s staying in the small-to-medium size range—but with really big feet that he never will catch up to. He’s a bit of a clumsy goof. So, anecdotally, I can say that our cats are in fact getting larger, just not all at once.
–––––
Big cats can take up to 4-5 years to hit full size.
posted by Pouteria at 7:22 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
Our newest roommate is a gorgeous red tabby someone abandoned in a box at a state park. He was probably about four months old at the time and had enormous legs and paws. The vet said that once he grew into them, we’d have a big cat.
A year later it’s clear that he’s staying in the small-to-medium size range—but with really big feet that he never will catch up to. He’s a bit of a clumsy goof. So, anecdotally, I can say that our cats are in fact getting larger, just not all at once.
–––––
Big cats can take up to 4-5 years to hit full size.
posted by Pouteria at 7:22 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
Your user name has an underscore like you are an 8.3 filename with a hidden extension
THATS WHAT SHE SAID
posted by thelonius at 1:57 AM on March 10, 2019 [2 favorites]
THATS WHAT SHE SAID
posted by thelonius at 1:57 AM on March 10, 2019 [2 favorites]
My previous two cats were both >20 lbs., so somebody's got some catching up to do.
Current cats are both quite unusually miniature and apparently did not read the memo - both rescues so I imagine early malnutrition didn't exactly speed things along.
posted by aspersioncast at 6:45 AM on March 10, 2019
Current cats are both quite unusually miniature and apparently did not read the memo - both rescues so I imagine early malnutrition didn't exactly speed things along.
posted by aspersioncast at 6:45 AM on March 10, 2019
Unlike most domesticated species, cats are actually increasing in size, Danish scientists warnpromise.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 11:25 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by vibratory manner of working at 11:25 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
Owain... Alice... Owain... Alice....
Carry on.
posted by TrishaU at 12:34 PM on March 10, 2019 [3 favorites]
Carry on.
posted by TrishaU at 12:34 PM on March 10, 2019 [3 favorites]
I just want to note my extreme delight at the response to my mismatched cats. I can't wait until they get along enough that I can easily photograph them side by side. (Alice was adopted two weeks ago and is settling in beautifully, but they're still getting used to each other.)
posted by kalimac at 4:24 PM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by kalimac at 4:24 PM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
Assuming that cats are 1/10 of the size (by mass) required to consider humans as prey, and they grow by 16% per 1,000 years, humanity has about 15,000 years left before it is eaten by its own cats.
posted by acb at 4:59 AM on March 11, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by acb at 4:59 AM on March 11, 2019 [2 favorites]
the modern internet is kind of a bad place, but there are some things about it that are so deeply but also pleasantly weird that it almost makes up for the nazis and the incels and all the silicon valley p.t. barnums.
one of those things is the internet's generalized good-natured love and admiration for very large housecats.
I agree, although I wish it didn't come with a heaping helping of minstrelsy
posted by invitapriore at 10:58 AM on March 11, 2019 [1 favorite]
one of those things is the internet's generalized good-natured love and admiration for very large housecats.
I agree, although I wish it didn't come with a heaping helping of minstrelsy
posted by invitapriore at 10:58 AM on March 11, 2019 [1 favorite]
Once again, this highlights for me the joy of touching a thicc chonky cat and having them be all plump and meaty, especially if you can wrap them in a towel or blanket and get a good feel for their solidity.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 11:49 AM on March 11, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Kitty Stardust at 11:49 AM on March 11, 2019 [4 favorites]
Unlike most domesticated species, cats are actually increasing in size, Danish scientists warn.
Danish scientists had to deal with Reptilicus, so they know from big animals.
posted by Chrysostom at 1:13 PM on March 11, 2019 [1 favorite]
Danish scientists had to deal with Reptilicus, so they know from big animals.
posted by Chrysostom at 1:13 PM on March 11, 2019 [1 favorite]
*enters thread quietly wearing a lab coat and carrying the scale to measure MeFi cats in Absolute Cat Units
Report to follow.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:28 PM on March 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
Report to follow.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:28 PM on March 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
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