The charming habits of bees
April 10, 2019 8:13 AM   Subscribe

What was originally thought to be an eye infection turned out to be something far worse. Instead of treating an infection, doctors at the University Hospital in Taiwan were shocked to find four bees embedded in the eye of a 29-year-old Taiwanese woman named He. The bees were reportedly feeding on her tear ducts under her swollen eyelids, according to CTS News.
posted by Johnny Wallflower (82 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
 
::screams forever::
posted by sarcasticah at 8:14 AM on April 10 [30 favorites]


oh
posted by odinsdream at 8:15 AM on April 10 [9 favorites]


I was on the fence before because they're sort of responsible for our food supply and whatnot but now I've decided that bees are total assholes.
posted by bondcliff at 8:15 AM on April 10 [3 favorites]


Wasps, Johnny, wasps.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:16 AM on April 10


As you wish.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:19 AM on April 10 [1 favorite]




Thanks, I hate it
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 8:23 AM on April 10 [29 favorites]


Nope nope no nope nope nope no
posted by dinty_moore at 8:24 AM on April 10 [3 favorites]


Was she a dog owner?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:24 AM on April 10 [6 favorites]


I'm unable to dig it up, but yesterday I saw a tweet framing the headline as a recovered Silvia Plath poem.
posted by idiopath at 8:24 AM on April 10 [12 favorites]


I think mother nature might have stopped binge drinking and moved on to meth.
posted by poe at 8:31 AM on April 10 [20 favorites]


Doctors Find Four Bees in Woman's Eye, Feeding on her Tears
since it isn't in the thread already
posted by idiopath at 8:32 AM on April 10 [12 favorites]


Meanwhile, in other bee news.
posted by Paul Slade at 8:32 AM on April 10


Doctors Find Four Bees in Woman's Eye, Feeding on her Tears

Ok but why the fuck was the doctor feeding on her tears to begin with, that's what I wanna know.
posted by odinsdream at 8:35 AM on April 10 [37 favorites]


sing your faith in what you
get to eat right up to the
minute you are eaten
for you are going
to be eaten

--- Don Marquis
posted by SPrintF at 8:35 AM on April 10 [3 favorites]




"Aeon Flux, white courtesy phone, please..."
posted by zaixfeep at 8:54 AM on April 10 [9 favorites]


This site is currently unavailable to visitors from the European Economic Area while we work to ensure your data is protected in accordance with applicable EU laws.

Thanks, Europe! You're the bees knees. (which is better than the bee's eyes, or even "He's Bees Eyes")
posted by chavenet at 9:02 AM on April 10 [3 favorites]


Looks like Ants In My Eyes Johnson has some competition.
posted by Strange Interlude at 9:07 AM on April 10 [4 favorites]


They were Republican bees, feeding on liberal tears.
posted by Devonian at 9:10 AM on April 10 [3 favorites]


How about no? No. Absolutely not.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 9:18 AM on April 10


He human hive thou cannot cry;
Of your ducts are waxen cells;
Those are bees that were her eyes;
Nothing of tears that doth well,
But doth suffer a comb-feat
Into something thick and sweet.

posted by lefty lucky cat at 9:21 AM on April 10 [8 favorites]


it's fine. it's fine. she's fine. it's fine, basically. I'm fine. it's fine. it's fine. it's fine
posted by Kybard at 9:22 AM on April 10 [12 favorites]


Johnny, no! No!
posted by loquacious at 9:24 AM on April 10 [2 favorites]


I will definitely keep this story in mind next time I come across some despicable wasp-haters that shit all over wasps while praising bees.
posted by GoblinHoney at 9:26 AM on April 10 [2 favorites]


You've seen them walking on the water
You've seen them flying through the sky
They were frightening in the darkness
They had bees in their eyes

posted by Wolfdog at 9:29 AM on April 10 [1 favorite]


Halictidae, gone tomorrow.


(also, tiny bees!)
posted by allandsome at 9:30 AM on April 10 [6 favorites]


Tear-drinking bees previously on Metafilter: "crowded congregations could be unpleasant to unbearably irritating".
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 9:30 AM on April 10 [5 favorites]


This Is Just To Buzz

I have drunk all
the tears
that were in
your tear ducts

and which
you were probably
saving
for crying

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so sad
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:44 AM on April 10 [61 favorites]


Oh, *Sweat* bees. Well, that's... uh, no,, still not O.K. Sweat bee story: I was out in the woods in one of the southern states. I was watching some ants foraging and running around on a dusty spot on the ground. Enter sweat bee, stage up. zooms in, hovers about a half inch off the ground, kicking up dust like a teeny-tiny helicopter. "That's cool", I thought. Then it zips over and starts harassing the ants. For scale, imagine what it would be like if you were going about your daily business and suddenly a bald eagle started dive-bombing you, pecking at your head, scratching at you with its talons, and staying just out of reach. That's the kind of thing the ants were experiencing from this sweat bee. Nature, go figure.
posted by coppertop at 9:45 AM on April 10 [7 favorites]


My biggest phobia is bees, after a bad super-strong reaction to a sting as a child.

My biggest body-horror trigger is anything involving eyes, to the point that I can't even watch someone putting in contact lenses.

I just looked at that link description and recoiled so hard that someone at their desk three cubicles away looked over and asked "are you okay?"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:49 AM on April 10 [24 favorites]


Coming around on this whole bees dying off thing
posted by rodlymight at 9:50 AM on April 10 [3 favorites]


When I was a kid my dad tried his hand at beekeeping and setup two hives near our house in rural Texas in our peach tree orchard. Specifically, four dumb meager trees that produced three solid-as-a-rock peaches over 7 years. I vividly remember the smell of fresh paint, wood, and wax as we built the hives and frames from scratch in our house. It turns out beekeeping is hard, or at least it was for my dad, because he would use the phrase "God damn sons of bitches!" when actively beekeeping.

The bees had all kinds of problems, mainly ants. Dad simply couldn't keep the fire ants away from the bees who were defenseless against their tiny stingers. Even after setting the hives in a tub of (what I remember to be) black oil, just a single blade of grass growing to touch the hive meant certain doom. Eventually the queen bee said F THIS NOISE and she left, which meant the hive followed.

But luckily the bees did not move far! In fact, they moved into the wall of our house! The wall of my very own bedroom! I vividly remember placing my ear against the wall next to my He-Man poster and hearing the industrious buzzing bees building their new house, only feet from where I slept. When my dad found out he said "God damn sons of bitches!" and started rummaging around in the shed for some tools. He emerged outside of my bedroom window wearing his beekeeping helmet mask thing and holding a caulk gun.

In just 2-3 quick squirts the problem was totally solved! The bees would be forced to live out the remaining hours and days of their dark life entombed inside my bedroom wall. Dad had such a smart plan. What could possibly go wrong? Well my friends, it turns out that when you're a tiny insect suddenly trapped in a cramped space with your 2,000 enraged bee siblings, shit gets real. The bees, desperate to escape, began looking for any way out into the open skies, and sometime late that night they found it: a crack in the inside of the windowsill. A CRACK ON THE INSIDE OF THE WINDOWSILL.

Waking up in a bedroom full of bees as 6-year-old child is just as delightful and exciting as you can imagine. I don't think a film could do it justice. Do you go under the covers and hide? Do you run out screaming? No, you do what I did: scream "God damn sons of bitches!" before dying instantly of fear.

Somehow my ghost ran out of the room screaming and dad went and rummaged around in the shed and came in with a canister of flying insect poison and a caulk gun and proceeded to seal off and fumigate my room. Cool. BUT. BUT GUESS WHAT. My intensely curious, undeveloped, and objectively useless child ghost brain suddenly had a totally moronic thought: just what is going on inside my room? What do all the dead bees look like?

And sure as shit I snuck off from the breakfast table and tip toed b-a-r-e-f-o-o-t back to my bedroom and cracked the door open to look for bees and... nothing. No sound. No flying around. Everything was totally safe again. So I proceeded to walk into the room to play with my toys and was instantly blinded with pain as the bees stung all over my damn little boy feet as the writhing poisoned bees exacted their final revenge, killing me a second time.

But I'm not bitter or anything.
posted by colossal at 10:16 AM on April 10 [165 favorites]


CUTE animal posts, Johnny. CUTE posts.
posted by duffell at 10:29 AM on April 10 [15 favorites]


Flagged as fantastic, colossal. Slow clap.

(I want to make a “so your comment was ghost-written?” joke, but I won’t.)
posted by greermahoney at 10:32 AM on April 10 [3 favorites]


We have made the world uninhabitable to the bee so now they are moving to their only remaining viable environment - the human eye!
posted by thatwhichfalls at 10:40 AM on April 10 [4 favorites]


MetaFilter: "God damn sons of bitches!"
posted by Splunge at 10:43 AM on April 10 [7 favorites]


Here's mud daubers in your eye!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:52 AM on April 10 [4 favorites]


Aw sweat bees. Cute link Johnny!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 10:52 AM on April 10 [1 favorite]


Why do you look at the mite in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the bees in your own eye?
posted by Bee'sWing at 10:57 AM on April 10 [28 favorites]


Too much stingma attached to them.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:00 AM on April 10 [5 favorites]


I've given this quite a bit of thought since I first heard about it, and have come to the following conclusion: *screaming forever*
posted by Occula at 11:08 AM on April 10 [8 favorites]


I’ve spent all day screaming internally every time this headline comes up.
posted by halcyonday at 11:22 AM on April 10


*Johnny posted about bees, I figured I should post about birds. Just completing the circle.
posted by Fizz at 11:30 AM on April 10 [1 favorite]


*Now we just need posts about the flowers and the trees and the moon up above and a thing called "Love" and the stars in the sky and a girl and a guy and the way they could kiss on a night like this.*
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:34 AM on April 10 [4 favorites]


NOPE intensifies.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:46 AM on April 10 [1 favorite]


When I first saw this headline on Twitter, I misread it as the bees were feeding on her fears instead of tears. I guess that would be more like a Borges magical realism tale than the, say, straight-to-video-DVD-streaming body horror movie that this turned out to be.
posted by mhum at 11:56 AM on April 10 [10 favorites]


Why do you look at the mite in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the bees in your own eye?
posted by Bee'sWing


😾
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:11 PM on April 10 [4 favorites]


straight-to-video-DVD-streaming body horror movie

David Cronenberg.
posted by Fizz at 12:21 PM on April 10 [1 favorite]


*Now we just need posts about the flowers and the trees and the moon up above and a thing called "Love" and the stars in the sky and a girl and a guy and the way they could kiss on a night like this.*

If anyone has a story about some unfortunate soul with flowers and trees stuck in their eye, never even mind the entire goddamned moon, I remind you that your own blog is a thing you could get.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:25 PM on April 10 [3 favorites]


I have no idea how these people got their flowers and trees wedged into their eyes, or why.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:32 PM on April 10 [1 favorite]


King James version:
And why beholdest thou the mite that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the bee that is in thine own eye?

Only three letters changed.
posted by Bee'sWing at 12:41 PM on April 10 [5 favorites]


Do we want the Candyman? Because, seriously, this is how we get the Candyman.

I've been thinking about seeing if anyone wants to host some hives here, and this post doesn't really change that. We already have a whole bunch of different kinds of bees and wasps kicking it off for spring and I'm actually glad to see them. We have a lot of big, fat bumblebees and what appears to be a wild european style honey bee - or more likely there are kept hives on one of the nearby farms.

I've only had to shuffle a couple of bees out of my little shed because I like to keep the door open or cracked when it's nice out.

And really soon now there's going to be about a billion blackberry, blueberry and salal flowers to pollinate.
posted by loquacious at 12:43 PM on April 10 [2 favorites]


I almost miss the poop posts.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 12:48 PM on April 10 [12 favorites]


AKA com posts.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:49 PM on April 10 [3 favorites]


These are not lovable bees.

These are Sweat Bees. NOT THE SAME!!!

Still pretty horrifying, but...

Now continue with the bee anecdotes plz
posted by Windopaene at 12:58 PM on April 10


outside of an eye, a bee is a man's best friend. inside of an eye, it's too dark to *SCREEEEEEEE*
posted by lefty lucky cat at 1:05 PM on April 10 [7 favorites]


. . . doctors at the University Hospital in Taiwan were shocked to find four bees embedded in the eye of a 29-year-old Taiwanese woman named He.

A Taiwanese woman named He
Was finding it tricky to see.
But the docs in 6-A
Quickly sent her away.
"Entomology's down in 4-B."
posted by The Bellman at 1:53 PM on April 10 [23 favorites]


I'll see your bees in the eye and raise you some squid corpses which inseminate your mouth when you eat them.
posted by Paul Slade at 1:55 PM on April 10


squid pro quo
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:32 PM on April 10 [10 favorites]


I had a similar experience to colossal, only we didn't court the bees by keeping them, they just showed up in the wall of our house (and ok, thinking about it also they were wasps.)

Anyway apparently they got sprayed, and the first I found out about it was when I opened my bedroom door to see a sea of dead wasps in the corridor. They had apparently attempted to flee, and then died, leaving me trapped in my room by the wasp apocalypse.

I sensibly went back to bed. My brother stood on them.
posted by stillnocturnal at 2:50 PM on April 10


A Taiwanese woman named He
Found one morning her eyes filled with bees
The doctor came quick for curing
But He told her, demurring
"It's convenient to cry in my tea"
posted by lefty lucky cat at 3:33 PM on April 10 [2 favorites]


Johnny, no! No!

"Don't make poop posts," they said. "Go back to animals," they said. Y'all are never satisfied.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 3:47 PM on April 10 [18 favorites]


"Or what? You'll release the Taiwanese women named He? Or the bees? Or the Taiwanese women named He with bees in their eyes and when they go to the doctor they find out that there's bees in their eyes?"
posted by cortex at 3:50 PM on April 10 [2 favorites]


hello I have a complaint the pleasant title of this post does not match the nightmare within
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:32 PM on April 10 [2 favorites]


The charming habits of bees

The "c" is silent.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:34 PM on April 10 [10 favorites]


hello I have a complaint the pleasant title of this post does not match the nightmare within

I would have gone with "what the eye don't bee"
posted by lefty lucky cat at 4:58 PM on April 10


Eye of the bee holder
posted by Pastor of Muppets at 5:52 PM on April 10 [6 favorites]


Mi nayme is be
I lik the teers
posted by Pastor of Muppets at 6:10 PM on April 10 [5 favorites]


Given the reactions of, apparently, literally everyone else on earth, I am beginning to find it unsettling that this post doesn't upset or bother me.
posted by kyrademon at 6:17 PM on April 10


ah, that explains the astingmatism.
posted by ramix at 8:21 PM on April 10 [8 favorites]


This thread is a honeypot for sweet puns.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:04 PM on April 10 [1 favorite]


C'm'ere kids, let me tell you a little story about what can happen if you keep staring at your phones like that.
posted by sexyrobot at 10:13 PM on April 10 [2 favorites]




sweet merciful crap are you people trying to give me a complex or something?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:00 AM on April 11 [1 favorite]


I'll still take this bee story over the BEE interview posted today
posted by lefty lucky cat at 11:51 AM on April 11 [1 favorite]


my name is Bee,
and on Qingming,
wen He pulls toomweeds
in the spring,
and in her eyes,
the tasty swet -
i fly from graves.
i drink the wet.
posted by mabelstreet at 2:33 PM on April 11 [8 favorites]


leaving me trapped in my room by the wasp apocalypse.

Waspocalypse.
posted by Splunge at 3:13 PM on April 11 [1 favorite]


Here are six other living things you don’t want to get stuck in your eye.
posted by Bee'sWing


Don't try to deflect, man.

Also, I will never go hiking again without a diving mask.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 3:17 PM on April 11 [2 favorites]


My compliments to the cabal mods for the side-barification of this post.
posted by ninazer0 at 12:53 AM on April 13


My compliments to the cabal mods for the side-barification of this post.
It's only fair. This is Metafilter at its silly-good-funnest.
Does It's Raining Florence Henderson write for SNL? They were on a tear.
posted by Bee'sWing at 12:59 PM on April 13 [1 favorite]


>> They were on a tear.
> posted by Bee'sWing

ಠ_ಠ
posted by Pronoiac at 2:58 PM on April 13 [1 favorite]


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