"[unable to catch breath] eereeess um pizza"
April 16, 2019 3:59 PM   Subscribe

Twelve years ago, after a mid-game rain delay, a couple of front-row fans grabbed a pop foul, ruining an easy out for fielder Garret Anderson. Unremarkable play, not worth remarking on. But then, 1.62 seconds later, here comes the pizza.
posted by cortex (66 comments total) 53 users marked this as a favorite
 
One second there’s an innocuous foul ball drifting into the stands, no different from the dozens of foul balls in every game, and the next second there’s a soggy ninja star sailing through the air, too floppy to be aerodynamic, too ambitious to be earthbound.

I desperately pray there is another event in the future where the second half of this sentence becomes appropriate to use again. Until then I'm just treating it as stand-alone prose.
posted by GoblinHoney at 4:05 PM on April 16 [38 favorites]


It takes a hot temper to throw a $7 slice of pizza at a man already drenched in $20 of beer.
posted by Bee'sWing at 4:15 PM on April 16 [25 favorites]


It is not playing baseball that is America’s national pastime, but watching it.
posted by Jon_Evil at 4:21 PM on April 16 [11 favorites]


This is the most 'Boston' thing I've ever seen or heard of. <3
posted by Fizz at 4:28 PM on April 16 [5 favorites]


I'm still confused why they tossed the pizza thrower. He didn't affect the outcome of the game.
posted by philip-random at 4:28 PM on April 16 [3 favorites]


I just assume regional coverage baseball announcers have to be high almost all of the time.
posted by srboisvert at 4:30 PM on April 16 [8 favorites]


This is a favorite. I mean, would you take a perfectly good piece a pepperoni peetzer and fire it at a guy? No, I would nawt.
posted by slkinsey at 4:35 PM on April 16 [5 favorites]


MetaFilter: a soggy ninja star sailing through the air, too floppy to be aerodynamic, too ambitious to be earthbound
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:48 PM on April 16 [21 favorites]


That's one of my favorite areas to sit in at Fenway. I call 'em The Pizza Seats.

I love the shit out of Jerry Remy and this would never have become anything if he wasn't there to call it. Eck would have just said something like "yeah that was a can of corn right there I'll tell ya whut" and then he'd have talked about the time when he ate pizza.

My old boss knew the pizza thrower and when I asked him if he knew why the guy through it he just shrugged and said "eh. He's kind of crazy."
posted by bondcliff at 4:58 PM on April 16 [33 favorites]


My favorite bit of this is buried in the comments.
posted by neilbert at 5:01 PM on April 16 [10 favorites]


I've always suspected Jerry Remy had recently watched the 1997 Simpsons episode The Twisted World of Marge Simpson, with its baseball scene. "And heeeeeere coooome the pretzels!"

But then I like to think most good things of the 90s and 00s can be drawn back to Simpsons season 8.
posted by ZaphodB at 5:03 PM on April 16 [6 favorites]


Oh man. I didn’t know body language could have a Masshole sports fan accent, but it can

Team pizza chucker. It was a noble pizza he chucked
posted by schadenfrau at 5:18 PM on April 16 [7 favorites]


I used to work with the guy who got hit by the pizza, really nice kid. Hadn't seen him in years until one day I was watching the Sox game...
posted by the painkiller at 5:25 PM on April 16 [6 favorites]


This is one of my all time favorite Boston sports things. I showed it to my boyfriend alongside other such Boston sports classics as Pedro vs. Zim, A Rod vs. Varitek, Bill Buckner, and Bucky Dent as part of a bid to show that Boston sports and fans are part of a long and glorious tradition. Of something.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:27 PM on April 16 [10 favorites]


I desperately pray there is another event in the future where the second half of this sentence becomes appropriate to use again. Until then I'm just treating it as stand-alone prose.

Metafilter: too floppy to be aerodynamic, too ambitious to be earthbound.
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:31 PM on April 16 [5 favorites]


I love listening to local baseball commentary. The games can be long and there is a lot of time to fill. This is pretty much the pinnacle of the genre and it is new to me. Thanks!
posted by muddgirl at 5:35 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]


I've been watching this clip for years and forcing other people to watch it with me and it never occurred to me to share this little piece of joy with Metafilter.

Still makes me cry with laughter near every time.
posted by rachaelfaith at 5:48 PM on April 16 [5 favorites]


I miss the combo of Remy and Orsillo - those guys were perfect local announcers.
posted by drewbage1847 at 6:06 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]


oh this is Red Sox gold. It's the funniest thing I've seen in a very very long time.
posted by bluesky43 at 6:15 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]


This isn't something that is normally relevant to my interests, but I clicked and read and watched and laughed and laughed and laughed. Thanks for that.
posted by tzikeh at 6:16 PM on April 16 [8 favorites]


Metafilter: too floppy to be aerodynamic, too ambitious to be earthbound.

hey, we had a whole post about dildos lofted into the air
posted by cortex at 6:23 PM on April 16 [6 favorites]


I mean, would you take a perfectly good piece a pepperoni peetzer and fire it at a guy? No, I would nawt.

This is happening in a stadium. That's a wicked terrible piece a pepperoni peetzer.
posted by elizilla at 6:24 PM on April 16 [6 favorites]


This is the most 'Boston' thing I've ever seen or heard of. <3

Yeah! Right down to the (absolutely correct) transcription of Rem Dog's follow up explanation: “Honey, I’m going to the ballgame today, and if I see some guy, I’m going to throw a piece of pizzerr at him.”

Also what the hell is going on with Youtube's transcoding? I was watching NESN 10 years ago and NESN's picture quality was much better than this, even back then. I don't insist on a an HD pizza thrower, but I could certainly do without the compression artifacts.
posted by Joey Buttafoucault at 6:27 PM on April 16 [6 favorites]


> I've always suspected Jerry Remy had recently watched the 1997 Simpsons episode The Twisted World of Marge Simpson, with its baseball scene. "And heeeeeere coooome the pretzels!"

Wow. That was a...that was a black day for baseball.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:31 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]


The "fan of the day" banner comes up at the perfect time. "Folks, we think this is as good as it'll get. Here he is. He's better than all of you."
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:37 PM on April 16 [11 favorites]


It definitely says something about my baseball fan personality that this and the Prince Fielder Nacho Heist are two of my all time favorite baseball moments.

other such Boston sports classics as Pedro vs. Zim yt , A Rod vs. Varitek yt , Bill Buckner yt , and Bucky Dent yt as part of a bid to show that Boston sports and fans are part of a long and glorious tradition. Of something.

As a lifelong Twins fan who does believe we have a slight rivalry (destroy all sox, white or red) and as someone on record as stating that the saddest moment in baseball history was the breaking of the curse of the bambino*, the Red Sox are one of the teams I respect the most over the years for that reason. No matter when, or why, Boston baseball has a well defined tradition that it lives up to. Upto and including pizza tossing.
Also, to add on to that list, my personal favorite defining Red Sox moment, Big Papi's statement after the Boston Marathon bombings. Only been to Boston the once, but that feels pretty defining of the attitude to me.


*(Such legends should never die, and such should have been the eternal fate of Red Sox fans, as ours is to eternally develop great players and trade them to the competition. Like Ortiz. I saw him when he played for us when I was a kid, and nothing in baseball haunts me more than ditching him for a nobody over a measly $2 mil.)
posted by neonrev at 6:40 PM on April 16 [8 favorites]


(for context, Neonrev, I grew up a Yankees fan in NH)
posted by ChuraChura at 7:02 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]


The fact that they're both Boston fans, which I missed the first time I watched, is icing on the cake IMO.
posted by muddgirl at 7:02 PM on April 16 [6 favorites]


It is a little known fact that the true rival of a Boston fan is not New York but another Boston fan who looked at him funny.
posted by backseatpilot at 7:07 PM on April 16 [47 favorites]


I gotta admit. I laughed until I cried. That was gold.
posted by greermahoney at 7:10 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]


Remy and Orsillo forever. And that Prince Fielder nacho heist, outstanding!
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:20 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]


I would have liked to have been behind the guy in line at the dry cleaners while dude explained the pizza stain on his back right shoulder.
posted by srboisvert at 7:21 PM on April 16 [4 favorites]


I don't particularly enjoy watching live sports, but I do really appreciate something about sports news, which is that anything within the broad range of stuff humans (or occasionally animals) are capable of doing can become a sports news story if performed in proximity to sports. We've all agreed that we're going to collectively devote a bunch of attention and cameras to sporting events and personalities, and anything that stands out as remotely interesting or amusing while we're watching, that's sports news. It's great.

Most sporting events are fairly routine, and baseball takes that to an extreme, yet there's a profession full of people who have to find stuff to say about what happens, so we quickly elevate all sorts of things to the legendary status of news. A baseball game goes on so damn long that they ran out of K signs to symbolize strikeouts and fans opted to stand against the wall making a K shape out of their bodies? News! Drunken idiots urinate at a gas station in Rio one night? Huge international news! A college student got catfished? The object of our obsession for weeks! Guy throws a slice of pizza? You'd better believe that's a cherished memory we will retell through the ages!
posted by zachlipton at 7:23 PM on April 16 [17 favorites]


This is the best thing I've seen since forever. The infectious glee of the commentators is just so funny! A balm against the awfulness of the present day.
posted by but no cigar at 7:27 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]


Most sporting events are fairly routine, and baseball takes that to an extreme, yet there's a profession full of people who have to find stuff to say about what happens, so we quickly elevate all sorts of things to the legendary status of news.

This, exactly. For me it's the most minor of things that get noted time and time again that make baseball baseball. Andre Beltre and Elvis Andrus messing with each other. The various weird stances some hitters take, and sometimes imitate of each other. Dugout messing around with cup stacks and hotfoots (please let me keep having this one hazing thing please god) and sunflower seeds. Baseball is full of dead time, and that's what I love so much about it. Time to think, reflect, and joke.
posted by neonrev at 7:38 PM on April 16 [8 favorites]


This is one of my all time favorite Boston sports things...

For me that would have to be another moment with Orsillo and Remy, the time back in 2004 when Manny Ramirez, playing in left for the Red Sox, cut off a throw to the infield. Which resulted in an inside-the-park home run for the batter.
posted by LeLiLo at 7:46 PM on April 16 [3 favorites]


In soviet Boston, pizza eereeess um you
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 8:02 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]


Heh, that was funny. The clever writing in the article and the amusement of the announcers was great... but the sheer Masshole-ness of the fans tempered my enthusiasm. I lived in NE for a bit and tired of the hardcore fans real quick.

I think my favorite thing in there altogether was a link to an incredible Daily Show segment from 2003.

And, if we're talking about the surprise from unexpected objects tossed at a baseball game, it's not always the humans.
posted by Theophrastus Johnson at 8:18 PM on April 16 [3 favorites]


When I moved to Boston for college in the mid-'90s, I was about as anti-sports as it was possible for a misanthropic, late-Gen X teen to be. I lived in one of the dorms that overlooked Nickerson Field at BU (in the final years before they summarily canceled our entire football program) and every Saturday during the season was like clockwork: Mornings sunny and lovely, hopes and spirits high ... only to return later in the day to drizzle, clouds, despondency, and a slaughterhouse loss.

From what I recall of the local news, the trend was more or less the same over at Fenway. The Sox were not in a good place during my college years. So although I eventually grew out of my knee-jerk antipathy, for the ensuing 12 years of my life in Boston I just moved along, assuming there was nothing more to see. Now, with the benefit of time, distance, and the predictable sentimentality of aging, I've come to genuinely appreciate how Bostonians do sport. This clip is a gold-standard example of what I love about the place. Thanks for the hilarious reminder.
posted by mykescipark at 8:45 PM on April 16 [3 favorites]


I for one would go to far more baseball games if they would advertise pizza-huckin' night.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 8:46 PM on April 16


OK now that Daily Show clip made me laugh so hard I cried. This is the thread that keeps on giving.
posted by greermahoney at 8:47 PM on April 16 [4 favorites]


That's it. I officially don't get baseball.
posted by RolandOfEld at 8:59 PM on April 16


It's simple, you've got a pitcher, a batter, a catcher, several basemen and fielders, a bosox fan, a twelve dollar beer, a guy with a pizza slice
posted by cortex at 9:05 PM on April 16 [15 favorites]


panama
posted by cortex at 9:05 PM on April 16 [23 favorites]


But, semi-seriously, wasn't Pizza Target the original asshole here for not letting the player attempt to make a play? I thought that was grounds for ejection, hence the quick thinking knight in pepperoni smelling armor striking while the slice was hot.... Oh well.
posted by RolandOfEld at 9:26 PM on April 16 [3 favorites]


Ahhhhhh the classics.
posted by praemunire at 9:47 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]


But, semi-seriously, wasn't Pizza Target the original asshole here for not letting the player attempt to make a play? I thought that was grounds for ejection

If the fan leans over the railing it's interference and grounds for ejection, but if the ball is in the stands area the fans have as much right to it as the players. Heck, you could steal the player's glove in that spot and it might be larceny but it wouldn't be interference.

Throwing pizza at a fan who messes with the home team's shot is proper etiquette in a close game, but at 7-1 who cares? Guess the issue is pizza target guy was just being obnoxious.
posted by mark k at 10:07 PM on April 16 [4 favorites]


I don't think any fan in the world would throw pizza at another fan for messing with the opposing team's catch for an out. Pizza Target didn't deliberately knock the ball away he was just too drunk to catch it.
posted by muddgirl at 10:11 PM on April 16


Clarification - his buddy knocked it away while attempting to catch it. pizza target just kind of clawed towards it while pouring his beer on his buddy.
posted by muddgirl at 10:14 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]


Are there any other sports besides baseball where fans and players have equal ability under the rules to make plays? There are certainly lots of sports where a spectator can interfere with the game in a way that's prohibited, but are there any other sports where a random spectator and a player are explicitly allowed to compete for the ball?
posted by zachlipton at 10:31 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]


I for one would go to far more baseball games if they would advertise pizza-huckin' night.

AS GOD AS MY WITNESS I THOUGHT PIZZA COULD FLY.

But, no, really, "hucking anything at all night" usually ends badly.
posted by loquacious at 10:41 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]


Man, this really saved my whole day! Thanks for the post, this was hilarious.
posted by Caduceus at 11:05 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]


Are there any other sports besides baseball where fans and players have equal ability under the rules to make plays?

I think a lot would just say the stands are "out of play." There's no legal way to make a play in the stands in football or hockey for example. Maybe basketball, but there I think the fans can do what they want (generally try not to get crushed by a 6' 9" player careening towards them, but knocking the ball away would also be OK).

I think the extra oomph in baseball on interference is the rule that you can keep foul balls. I watched a football game once where fan caught a wildly overthrown ball and was forced to return it, to the boos of everyone in the stadium.
posted by mark k at 11:21 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]


Throwing pizza at a fan who messes with the home team's shot is proper etiquette in a close game, but at 7-1 who cares? Guess the issue is pizza target guy was just being obnoxious.

The thing that doesn't make sense – if any of this does – is that pizza target guy kept the other team's fielder from getting a Red Sox player out. Which should have made the pizza chucker – a Boston fan – happy, not mad enough to throw food. From the article, it does seem like target guy had been obnoxious to people in the stands around him during a long rain delay, and the chucker had been waiting for a moment when everyone was distracted, in order to strike.
posted by LeLiLo at 11:49 PM on April 16


this is a happier (dare I say saucier? cheesier?) analog of the Bartman incident
posted by exogenous at 4:18 AM on April 17


This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long, long time. The "Pepsi Fan of the Game" banner made me lose it.
posted by Fig at 4:44 AM on April 17 [2 favorites]


Are there any other sports besides baseball where fans and players have equal ability under the rules to make plays?

The wildest thing I think isn't just that you are allowed to touch the ball, it's that in ballparks without extended protective netting, you are essentially required to be ready to make a play or dive out of the way of line drive foul balls because they could really hurt you in ways a basketball or football couldn't. Baseball is the only sport I can think of where bringing a piece of the equipment used in-game to the stands is a practical thing to do.
posted by neonrev at 6:11 AM on April 17 [2 favorites]


Oh man, this is great. Nothing like this ever happened at Mariner's games I went to growing up. The spiciest it got was when drunk dudes would threaten to pummel my dad when he didn't take his hat off or stop eating peanuts during the national anthem, or when my mom would scan the crowd in her binoculars looking to see if Tom Skeritt was attending the game that day.
posted by duffell at 6:48 AM on April 17


This gentleman was not being too friendly to everybody else in the stands. And there was a rain delay, so we were there for a long, long time, and a lot of people weren’t so happy with what he had to say. There was a foul ball that distracted him, and I threw a pizza at his head, and I wish I could take it back, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think I sat in front of this guy at a White Sox game in Chicago once.

Real shame I didn't have any pizza.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:51 AM on April 17 [1 favorite]


Remy and Orsillo have several classic clips where they are just gasping with laughter. My favorite is the pizza throw. My second favorite is the boob grab. There are many more.
posted by Melismata at 7:22 AM on April 17 [1 favorite]


1.62 seconds later, here comes the pizza

The announcers joked about not being able to annotate the pizza-tosser with a red circle. Nowadays, the pizza toss would surely benefit from some on-screen Statcast metrics. Time between foul ball impact and pie throw, launch angle and velocity...
posted by exogenous at 7:47 AM on April 17 [1 favorite]


Why do so many of these clips involve my beloved Os?
posted by hanov3r at 9:13 AM on April 17




How did Collin McHugh avoid this? (Pitcher displays Neo-like command of bulletbaseball time)
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:14 PM on April 17 [2 favorites]


That pizza belongs in the hall of fame.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:29 PM on April 17 [1 favorite]


My local newspaper's architecture/urban design critic went to photograph a building today and found pizza stranded on the ledge.
posted by zachlipton at 10:15 PM on April 17


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