“...but what’s Jiggypuff supposed to be? We just don’t know.”

May 7, 2019 10:32 AM

The Celestial Emporium of Benevolent Pokémon [Fanbyte] Jorge Luis Borges’s New and Improved Pokémon Type System

“In his 1942 essay “The Analytic Language of John Wilkins,” Jorge Luis Borges brought a certain taxonomy to the attention of the world. Allegedly derived from an ancient Chinese encyclopedia called the Celestial Emporium of Benevolent Knowledge translated from the original by Franz Kuhn, it divides all animals into 14 categories. Due to the consistent and intuitive nature of these types, I believe it’s the ideal candidate for a new classification of Pokémon. To demonstrate, I will reclassify the original 151 Pokémon by these new types, and I’m sure you’ll have no trouble figuring out where the rest fit. Such is the nature of the Emporium. Categories are presented in the order in which they appear in the original text.”

The 14 Categorical Animal Types:
• Those That Belong to the Emperor
• Embalmed Ones
• Those That Are Trained
• Suckling Pigs
• Mermaids
• Fabulous Ones
• Stray Dogs
• Those That Are Included in This Classification
• Those That Tremble as if They Were Mad
• Innumerable Ones
• Those Drawn With a Very Fine Camel Hair Brush
• Et Cetera
• Those That Have Just Broken the Flower Vase
• Those That, At a Distance, Resemble Flies

posted by Fizz (17 comments total)

They're fabulous Pokemon, Bront.
posted by nubs at 10:36 AM on May 7, 2019

Tag urself I'm one of Those That Tremble As If They Were Mad
posted by Pastor of Muppets at 10:46 AM on May 7, 2019 [6 favorites]

Tag urself

I am one of Those That Have Just Broken the Flower Vase
posted by Fizz at 10:47 AM on May 7, 2019 [3 favorites]

jigglypuff is a PUFF it's right there in the name
posted by poffin boffin at 10:51 AM on May 7, 2019 [3 favorites]

I'm Those That Are Trained
posted by WizardOfDocs at 10:51 AM on May 7, 2019 [1 favorite]

Tag urself I'm one of Those That Tremble As If They Were Mad

this was me yesterday!
#thosethattrembleasiftheyweremad
posted by otherchaz at 10:54 AM on May 7, 2019

I am definitely “Those That Are Included in This Classification,” although “Stray Dogs” has been applied, too.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:06 AM on May 7, 2019

Et Cetera is where I belong
posted by nubs at 11:24 AM on May 7, 2019

I am Trained. Why, most of the time coworkers can't even tell I'm a stealth geek.
posted by Quasirandom at 11:35 AM on May 7, 2019

Jigglypuff is my very favorite, which is all that matters. However, fabulous will also suffice.
posted by PearlRose at 11:41 AM on May 7, 2019 [1 favorite]

I'd consider many in the Et Cetera category to be actually in the Fabulous Ones category. Like Lickitung or Drowzee. The category that really makes no sense though is the Those That Belong to the Emperor. In anycase, the first rule of becoming a Poke-expert is to never question Poke-taxonomy.
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:52 AM on May 7, 2019

wow this is MAXIMUM UP MY ALLEY, thank you!
posted by ITheCosmos at 11:59 AM on May 7, 2019

Jigglypuff is literally named after a pudding, but whether that's literal or figurative remains to be seen.
posted by blnkfrnk at 12:14 PM on May 7, 2019 [1 favorite]

Ash is a trainer. All pokemon are "those that are trained."
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 1:42 PM on May 7, 2019 [1 favorite]

Ash is a trainer. All pokemon are "those that are trained."

I disagree. As they are rendered in pixel art, the smallest possible picture elements modern displays can produce, I submit that all of the first generation at least are Those Drawn With a Very Fine Camel Hair Brush.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 2:05 PM on May 7, 2019 [2 favorites]

wow the new season of Unraveled has already started huh
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:11 PM on May 7, 2019

I am not into Pokemon but this sort of thing amuses me once I found out that a guy I knew was one of the people who came up with the (original now?) taxonomy of Pokemon.
Also, just saw this today.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:27 PM on May 7, 2019