You can adopt This Guy and Sparky Buttons
June 4, 2019 8:04 AM   Subscribe

Various Authors, Dr Leg, and PLEASE: A Neural Network names Kittens for Morris Animal Refuge. Better names than last time (previously). And it names guinea pigs, too. From neural net whiz Janelle Shane, even more previously.
posted by Gordafarin (50 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
 
My personal favorites:

Tom Glitter
Cheesemonger
M. Tinklesby Linklater Soap
Lillith The Vamp
Elle Fury
Romeo of Darkness
Tom Noodle
Thelonious Monsieur
Ringo Shuffles
Chewie Bean

....And I'm sure everyone has at one time or another known a cat that could have been named Dr Fart.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:10 AM on June 4 [7 favorites]


"Scarlet Be Thy Coat" is my favorite post-hardcore band
posted by dismas at 8:10 AM on June 4 [19 favorites]


The names last time were absolutely splendid. Tygrar and Mr. Yetheract are absolutely things I will name any cats additional to my cat, Dr. Cat.
posted by Frowner at 8:11 AM on June 4 [3 favorites]


Most of these squeaky critters are up for adoption from a PetSmart location that is half a block from my office so my lunch plans are basically set in stone, or maybe I should say, litter.
posted by Tomorrowful at 8:11 AM on June 4 [6 favorites]


Also, some of these are obviously Iain Banks starship names (" GSV You're Telling a Lie", etc) which makes me hope that someday I will live in fully automated luxury gay communism on a giant spaceborn cat.

Pompompur is a mislaid TS Eliot cat from Cats, of course, and Bobbie Bun was a seventies punk rocker from the provinces who had a short lived zine. Scarlet Be Thy Coat is the house cat of Ghostbox Records house band Belbury Poly.

Mr. Yetheract is a character from the first draft of A Wrinkle In Time.
posted by Frowner at 8:18 AM on June 4 [11 favorites]


I have already added That Guy and BUTT to Frank’s nicknames. They suit him.
posted by matildaben at 8:22 AM on June 4 [2 favorites]


I'mo name a cat Tinnitus. It fits since I have tinnitus and thus also don't come when you call.
posted by sgranade at 8:26 AM on June 4 [6 favorites]


Having two cats named The Cream and The Clear would be hilarious.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:27 AM on June 4 [5 favorites]


I've decreed that our next dog will be named by AI as some of these names are so good.

On the other hand, if you go full Royal/Game of Thrones, you can get some good length. For example, our dog Garrus is:

Garrus Underfoot Explosion, dba "Garrus Vulgarian"1, né Cobi's Volano, Eater of Snacks, Snuffler of Beds, Floof of His Name.

[1] To his chagrin, his DJ career is not taking off.
posted by explosion at 8:30 AM on June 4 [1 favorite]


I now have a vivid image in my head of me standing on my front door stoop loudly calling for kitty to come back into the house, the neighbors staring at me warily: "Beep Boop! Beep Boop!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:47 AM on June 4 [12 favorites]


his DJ career is not taking off

He's PRE-SUCCESSFUL.
posted by praemunire at 8:51 AM on June 4 [3 favorites]


"Beep Boop! Beep Boop!"

That's why you never name a dog Fire, Help, Ambulance, or Thief.
posted by idiopath at 9:14 AM on June 4 [4 favorites]


Some of these approach Puritan naming conventions. Tell me that Nicholas If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned Barton wouldn't keep a cat named He Glad or You're Telling a Lie
posted by JDHarper at 9:15 AM on June 4 [7 favorites]


He Glad, Dr Fart, and BUTT are champions
posted by Going To Maine at 9:15 AM on June 4 [1 favorite]


I'm still highly tempted to name a cat Oilbag. But I'd have to bank on the cat never realizing what a mortal insult their name is, or they'd eat my face one night while I'm sleeping.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:19 AM on June 4


A new cat entered my life in March, named Bucket for unfathomable reasons as the animal shelter and Ollie once she got home. Miss Ollie Bucket. Which is not bad, but I could have used this back then.
posted by Quindar Beep at 9:24 AM on June 4


I initially read the first line as "A Nerural Network named Kittens", and I was like, "yep, sounds like a good NN name".
posted by ArgentCorvid at 9:34 AM on June 4 [2 favorites]


And a 21st-century version of "A Streetcar Named Desire", no less.
posted by Quindar Beep at 9:35 AM on June 4 [1 favorite]


8,000 words is basically nothing for ML. That's like training on a medium length term paper. This seems like it's basically just him running the pre-rolled algorithm himself and then hand picking some funny stuff.
posted by codacorolla at 9:38 AM on June 4


How many bibles do you have to smoke before you name your cat Bibles Smoked?
posted by terretu at 9:39 AM on June 4 [3 favorites]


This seems like it's basically just him running the pre-rolled algorithm himself and then hand picking some funny stuff.

her
herself
posted by one for the books at 9:43 AM on June 4 [12 favorites]


Beep boop
posted by ook at 9:45 AM on June 4


If you name your cat "Bones of the Master", you're totally asking for whatever trouble ensues.
posted by Gorgik at 9:48 AM on June 4 [7 favorites]


8,000 words is basically nothing for ML.

Yeah, that was last year. This year, she used GPT-2 which is much, much larger than 8,000 words, even in its current 'purposefully-limited' form.
posted by destructive cactus at 9:58 AM on June 4 [1 favorite]


How many bibles do you have to smoke before you name your cat Bibles Smoked?

At least two, anyway.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:58 AM on June 4 [5 favorites]


Yeah, that was last year. This year, she used GPT-2 which is much, much larger than 8,000 words, even in its current 'purposefully-limited' form.

Right, but isn't that the initial set so that it can recognize basic forms of English? I may have missed where the cat-specific training data was coming from apart from the 8,000 name list.
posted by codacorolla at 10:03 AM on June 4


ahem

nermal network
posted by dismas at 10:17 AM on June 4 [17 favorites]


"Bones of the Master" sounds more like what cats name themselves.
posted by traveler_ at 10:20 AM on June 4 [7 favorites]


"Starting from scratch"

Eponysterical.
posted by zaixfeep at 10:26 AM on June 4 [1 favorite]


Notable PRODUCT LEGEND Weird Science Platinum
Accepted A Tribute
Chicken Whiskey
I am sitting in my cubicle trying not to laugh yet still wheezing loud enough to alarm my neighbors.
posted by hanov3r at 10:31 AM on June 4 [3 favorites]


I may have missed where the cat-specific training data was coming from apart from the 8,000 name list.

No, you're right - the 8,000 name list hasn't changed, but it's not the only source. The previous NN used probably had a data set in the <10MB range, whereas the latest released GPT-2 model is around 1.5GB.
posted by destructive cactus at 10:34 AM on June 4


Doesn't having 8,000 word data-set against the pre-rolled GPT-2 model just dwarf the training set, then? Or is GPT-2 set up to accommodate such a small sample?
posted by codacorolla at 10:37 AM on June 4


No, because 'text not displayed' is not 'text not considered'.
posted by destructive cactus at 10:40 AM on June 4 [1 favorite]


Please tell me Miss Ollie Bucket's last name is pronounced "bouquet"
posted by Is It Over Yet? at 10:48 AM on June 4 [5 favorites]


All cats are “Chewie Bean,” at least occasionally.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:48 AM on June 4 [2 favorites]


Also, some of these are obviously Iain Banks starship names (" GSV You're Telling a Lie", etc)

I would want to keep constantly appraised of the location of the GSV Kill All Humans, because reasons
posted by Foosnark at 10:50 AM on June 4 [2 favorites]


That's why you never name a dog Fire, Help, Ambulance, or Thief.

Or “Snickers”. Though at an old house I’d hear a cranky lady yelling at all hours for “Patrick, you sonofabitch” who turned out not to be human.
posted by a halcyon day at 11:05 AM on June 4 [2 favorites]


The cranky lady turned out not to be human?? That's frightening...
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:21 AM on June 4 [5 favorites]


Is it Over Yet? -- my parents pronounce it that way as fans(*), I don't. Schrödinger's Bucket, if you will.

(*) the show, not the cat
posted by Quindar Beep at 11:25 AM on June 4


You: Pompompur

Me, very wise: Pompompurr
posted by vibratory manner of working at 12:16 PM on June 4 [1 favorite]


alternatively: Pompapurr
posted by vibratory manner of working at 12:23 PM on June 4


Re: shouting cat names, I knew a cat named Shazam who often went missing, causing his owner to sound like a failing wizard’s apprentice. I think PLEASE is my fave for shouting on this list. This Guy would make it sound like you were drunk and had a very funny friend. Kill All Humans should probably not be yelled for from the porch.

I have a cat named Professor and I’m strongly considering adopting another, which of course I’m now going to have to name Various Authors.
posted by 100kb at 12:27 PM on June 4 [11 favorites]


'Cause I speak of the Pompompurr of Love...
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:36 PM on June 4 [4 favorites]


My eight-year-old is a big Hamilton fan and wants us to get another cat, which I steadfastly oppose, but if we ever do I’m gonna insist it be named Aaron Purr.
posted by nickmark at 12:38 PM on June 4 [5 favorites]


Lots of new nicknames for my roommate's wonderful fat smelly cat in there. When I get home I'm gonna scritch him all over and call him Fudge Putty and Dr. Fart and Bobble Bun.
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:24 PM on June 4 [4 favorites]


I now have a vivid image in my head of me standing on my front door stoop loudly calling for kitty to come back into the house, the neighbors staring at me warily: "Beep Boop! Beep Boop!"

One step further down the same list would see someone standing on the threshold shouting "Thoughts!" into the gathering dusk. That is a whole different kind of notable.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:42 PM on June 4 [5 favorites]


Dr Fart

horrible cackling
posted by poffin boffin at 3:13 PM on June 4 [4 favorites]


I've learned through bitter loss not to give cats names that have any ironic potential. Scatter was hit by a car, and scattered. Yesterday, Geist was made into a geist by another car. I hate where I live.

Also, as I think of it, Hennessey died of liver failure. But that was at an old age, so less of a blow. Meanwhile, utter non-sequiturs like Neko and Samhain made it to advanced old age as well. So non sequiturs from now on.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 4:16 PM on June 4 [1 favorite]


My mom used to have a cat named Poon Tang and took great pride in yelling out the cat's name off the front porch to the horror of the neighbors.
posted by Schlani at 5:50 PM on June 4 [2 favorites]


Our cat is named Raoul, for onomatopoeic reasons -- he is very talkative. Raoul is also referred to as Mr Cat, by analogy with Mr Mate and other nautical forms of address, because he also holds the rank of Chief Morale Officer.

However, he is generally addressed as Pussy-puss. Occasionally, in times of stress, Ya Wee Shitbag.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 1:05 AM on June 5


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