They'll stare at you til they get your love. No matter how long it takes
June 6, 2019 11:22 AM   Subscribe

 
come over here and make me feel like a real robot
posted by infinitewindow at 11:32 AM on June 6 [1 favorite]


So, it's just a love machine?
posted by nubs at 11:38 AM on June 6 [8 favorites]


Not every day you see the birth of a brand-new fetish.
posted by rikschell at 11:41 AM on June 6 [1 favorite]


So, it's a robotic cat?
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 12:02 PM on June 6


I think you missed the part where it loves you.
posted by howfar at 12:08 PM on June 6 [16 favorites]


One word: Yeesh.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:09 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]


well they did it, they figured out how to breed a tamagotchi with a keepon. god bless those crazy robot scientists, they'll make one that fills the gaping hungry void in our souls one of these days
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:17 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]




initial reaction: weird, creepy
reaction after 30 sec video: oh i guess they're kind of cute
reaction upon seeing the little outfits: i would kill for this robot
posted by poffin boffin at 12:20 PM on June 6 [14 favorites]


In the below-fold video link, its creator says: "We did not create it to be helpful or entertaining." Which is really an amazing pitch for something you ostensibly want people to buy.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:21 PM on June 6 [8 favorites]


I look forward to the fan edit of A.I. Artificial Intelligence starring Lovot as the Haley Joel Osmond character.

(also, hee hee Demi Lovoto)
posted by chrominance at 12:22 PM on June 6 [4 favorites]


[Fixed the middle link, carry on.]
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 12:27 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]


"We did not create it to be helpful or entertaining."

"we created it to hunt the most dangerous game"

tiny robot voice: HUG ME, YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS TO COMPLY.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:28 PM on June 6 [7 favorites]




It likes you. It wants to kiss you always.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 12:45 PM on June 6 [2 favorites]


SIGN ME UP, I WANT ONE

OR TWO

OR A WHOLE FLOCK
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:11 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: We did not create it to be helpful or entertaining
posted by Huffy Puffy at 1:12 PM on June 6 [20 favorites]


Are these things completely self-contained, with no internet connection? If so, can we guarantee they stay that way? As with Roombas transmitting floor plans back to their masters, these things would be a great way to transmit all sorts of creepy data to who-knows-who.

We did not create it to be helpful or entertaining

Maybe not for the consumers, necessarily....

/Signed, Paranoid_Ace
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:38 PM on June 6 [2 favorites]


Golly, that's some nice web design.
posted by humboldt32 at 2:07 PM on June 6


I want one. I wonder if I could attach a little vacuum cleaner to it.
posted by bendy at 2:18 PM on June 6 [2 favorites]


Are these things completely self-contained, with no internet connection?

No. The pricing model describes on ongoing subscription cost for the software that powers it.
posted by AndrewInDC at 2:22 PM on June 6 [2 favorites]


I want one. I wonder if I could attach a little vacuum cleaner to it.

Lovot will do anything for love, but it won't do that.
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:26 PM on June 6 [8 favorites]


Related AskMe
posted by bendy at 2:35 PM on June 6


Finally a way to replace my longing for human contact with payments to corporations!! This is truly the best timeline!!
posted by iamnotangry at 2:39 PM on June 6 [12 favorites]


It loves you unconditionally. Also it can recognize a thousand faces and it stores its friend/enemy list in the cloud
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 2:53 PM on June 6 [7 favorites]


That was the fastest turnaround from Black Mirror episode to reality since “The Waldo Moment.”
posted by panglos at 2:58 PM on June 6 [2 favorites]


"It's like a baby for you to take care of. It follows you around and makes little cooing sounds, and when you're not paying attention to it it will come up to you and beg you to hug it."

Well, nicely done on the world's most annoying robot.
posted by lemonade at 3:00 PM on June 6 [2 favorites]


these things would be a great way to transmit all sorts of creepy data to who-knows-who.

and then when the data servers go down, die in theatrically awful ways. I can guarantee that these have always-on recording and will be used to extort money from their owners licensed users. I mean, who isn't going to tell something like this all their secrets?
posted by scruss at 4:42 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]


Is the ultimate goal here to put us in existential crisis, questioning whether any love could have ever been real as we clutch our unfeeling electromechanical companions like characters in a Philip K Dick novel?
posted by rodlymight at 5:36 PM on June 6 [2 favorites]


Probably, if it makes us spend more money.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:41 PM on June 6


English Features page is coming soon.

But will it serve you a drink when it's through? Wynonie Harris had this all figured out circa 1952:

Up to my house, I've got something you've never seen
I got wise to myself and built me a lovin' machine
Well it will love you all day
If you feel run down
You don't have to worry
Run all over town
When my machine finishes
That ain't all
Out comes a bottle of Hadocol

posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:24 PM on June 6 [2 favorites]


Hug me like one of your French robots
posted by mbrubeck at 7:52 PM on June 6


Yiiiiiiikes.


I look forward to the deranged artworks some grad student will fashion out of the melding and muddling of many still-wriggling LOVOTs once the price point comes down.
posted by Bwithh at 8:18 PM on June 6


So, Euclid or Keter?
posted by sebastienbailard at 3:03 AM on June 7


.. or 790 (not really safe for work)?
posted by the Real Dan at 9:55 AM on June 7


At first I saw 20,000 yen and was like "that is incredibly cheap". But thats the downpayment.

Full price is 299,800 yen + 8,980 monthly fee (so about $2,800 up front and $80/month, with a 12 month minimum commitment, so your minimum outlay is $3,760).

Depending on your vet bills, it's probably cheaper to get a cat. I mean "it follows you around and makes little cooing sounds, and when you're not paying attention to it it will come up to you and beg you to hug it" basically describes one of my cats. Your cat may vary.
posted by thefoxgod at 4:54 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]


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