I like the way you move that thing
June 29, 2019 2:04 PM Subscribe
... sighs, applauds chavenet.
posted by Etrigan at 2:31 PM on June 29, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 2:31 PM on June 29, 2019 [5 favorites]
You know what thongs are good for, in a pinch? In my brief but glorious experience, a pair is good for making a slingshot by tying the sides to the ends of a Y-shaped branch. That is all.
posted by Bella Donna at 3:00 PM on June 29, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 3:00 PM on June 29, 2019 [6 favorites]
As someone who doesn't understand the value of thongs or why people like them I'd be interested in someone explaining it to me but reading about someone who knows just as little as me talking about being ambivalent about her underwear for a week was shall I say, not life changing.
posted by bleep at 3:20 PM on June 29, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by bleep at 3:20 PM on June 29, 2019 [5 favorites]
What keeps the thong from getting, er, poo on it it sometimes?
posted by KleenexMakesaVeryGoodHat at 3:26 PM on June 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by KleenexMakesaVeryGoodHat at 3:26 PM on June 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
The key is keeping the poo on the inside, I believe.
posted by hototogisu at 3:39 PM on June 29, 2019 [37 favorites]
posted by hototogisu at 3:39 PM on June 29, 2019 [37 favorites]
What keeps the thong from getting, er, poo on it it sometimes?
Nothing. But, that's a problem with regular underwear, too.
I wore thongs for years in my late 20s and early 30s (late 90s). I started because they fit better under biking shorts than tighty whities, and frankly, were vastly more comfortable. The strap in the back forty took a bit to get used to, but after that, you couldn't beat the support and lack of chafing.
I'm a straight white cishet dude, and people would comment occasionally. I also pierced my ears in the late 80s. People love to judge shit like that.
You know what you do about judgey people ? Ignore them. They suck. Wear what you want.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 3:43 PM on June 29, 2019 [22 favorites]
Nothing. But, that's a problem with regular underwear, too.
I wore thongs for years in my late 20s and early 30s (late 90s). I started because they fit better under biking shorts than tighty whities, and frankly, were vastly more comfortable. The strap in the back forty took a bit to get used to, but after that, you couldn't beat the support and lack of chafing.
I'm a straight white cishet dude, and people would comment occasionally. I also pierced my ears in the late 80s. People love to judge shit like that.
You know what you do about judgey people ? Ignore them. They suck. Wear what you want.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 3:43 PM on June 29, 2019 [22 favorites]
As someone who doesn't understand the value of thongs or why people like them I'd be interested in someone explaining it to me
What I've learned in theater dressing rooms is that women of the generation younger than me were raised to have an all-consuming fear of visible panty lines. Personally, I don't mind people being able to tell that I wear underpants, but I'm sure I was raised with other hangups that they don't have. Bra straps showing is one, I guess, although I've never gotten quite as agitated about that as the young women I've heard shrieking, "Ew, ew, ew!!! VPL! VPL!"
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:55 PM on June 29, 2019 [17 favorites]
What I've learned in theater dressing rooms is that women of the generation younger than me were raised to have an all-consuming fear of visible panty lines. Personally, I don't mind people being able to tell that I wear underpants, but I'm sure I was raised with other hangups that they don't have. Bra straps showing is one, I guess, although I've never gotten quite as agitated about that as the young women I've heard shrieking, "Ew, ew, ew!!! VPL! VPL!"
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:55 PM on June 29, 2019 [17 favorites]
Butt plating is bean plating, apparently.
posted by blaneyphoto at 3:57 PM on June 29, 2019
posted by blaneyphoto at 3:57 PM on June 29, 2019
Yes, I know, eponysterical. Epantysterical?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:57 PM on June 29, 2019 [13 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:57 PM on June 29, 2019 [13 favorites]
You know what thongs are good for, in a pinch? In my brief but glorious experience, a pair is good for making a slingshot by tying the sides to the ends of a Y-shaped branch. That is all.
Thongs!
Huh! Good God, y'all!
What are they good for?
Improvising slingshots!
Say it again!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 4:11 PM on June 29, 2019 [54 favorites]
Thongs!
Huh! Good God, y'all!
What are they good for?
Improvising slingshots!
Say it again!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 4:11 PM on June 29, 2019 [54 favorites]
The thing I don't see this article address:
How does feeling that your underwear is perpetually caught in your buttcrack not drive you completely crazy?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:13 PM on June 29, 2019 [33 favorites]
How does feeling that your underwear is perpetually caught in your buttcrack not drive you completely crazy?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:13 PM on June 29, 2019 [33 favorites]
What keeps the thong from getting, er, poo on it it sometimes?
Nothing. But, that's a problem with regular underwear, too.
Since we're here, doesn't it like actually sort of floss your butthole, though? Sometimes? Higher probability? Seriously asking. Seems like the risk is higher.
posted by zeek321 at 4:21 PM on June 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
Nothing. But, that's a problem with regular underwear, too.
Since we're here, doesn't it like actually sort of floss your butthole, though? Sometimes? Higher probability? Seriously asking. Seems like the risk is higher.
posted by zeek321 at 4:21 PM on June 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
You don't get poo on your undershorts by making sure your ass is clean after you push poo through it. Washlet, bidet, or take a waist-down shower. It's the only sanitary thing. Would you wipe shit off your hands and say, "oh, that's good enough, I don't need soap and water." Respect your butt. Keep it clean. Your clothes will thank you, and you'll thank yourself for avoiding the occasional rash when you just can't smear enough of it off.
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:23 PM on June 29, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:23 PM on June 29, 2019 [7 favorites]
I get it that she is all kinds of ambivalent about the whole thing, but I think the piece would have been better if she would have dug deeper into that ambivalence. Instead it was sort of back and forth between things that felt good and things that felt weird, plus some trivia, and ended on a weird note about wishing the experiment could continue without saying why.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:41 PM on June 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Dip Flash at 4:41 PM on June 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
I still don't get the point of thongs because, outside of modesty in a changing room, what exactly is the purpose of a thong over going commando? Honest question. I am a guy. I enjoy the idea of thongs when my wife wears them. I care not one whit about panty lines one way or the other.
posted by RolandOfEld at 4:42 PM on June 29, 2019
posted by RolandOfEld at 4:42 PM on June 29, 2019
From the headline I expected this headline to be on Reductress.
posted by Merus at 4:43 PM on June 29, 2019 [11 favorites]
posted by Merus at 4:43 PM on June 29, 2019 [11 favorites]
Thing me a thong, I am mighty Thor.
posted by aspersioncast at 4:55 PM on June 29, 2019 [10 favorites]
posted by aspersioncast at 4:55 PM on June 29, 2019 [10 favorites]
Muay Thai kickboxers wear thongs. I mention this not merely to promulgate the image of some of the world's hardest hard guys swanning around in ladies' underthings, but to suggest a reason some women may prefer them. Muay Thai fighters' groin cups are made of steel and are held in place by a cord around the waist and another running between the buttocks. Running the cord between the buttocks keeps the cup in place better than any other method. I suspect that thongs stay in place equally well. I'm not quite sure why this would matter so much to women, but our author does mention having spent a lot of time thinking about her underwear. Short skirts maybe? Some comfort issue?
posted by ckridge at 5:00 PM on June 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by ckridge at 5:00 PM on June 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
I have had people try to explain to me that thongs are awesome and sexy and I should wear them, because they, too, wear them.
Except I don't like wedgies. And never have. I did try a thong once, but it felt like having a wedgie all day. No thank you, Big Thong. I will continue to wear full-coverage underwear, and like it.
posted by 41swans at 5:02 PM on June 29, 2019 [11 favorites]
Except I don't like wedgies. And never have. I did try a thong once, but it felt like having a wedgie all day. No thank you, Big Thong. I will continue to wear full-coverage underwear, and like it.
posted by 41swans at 5:02 PM on June 29, 2019 [11 favorites]
outside of modesty in a changing room, what exactly is the purpose of a thong over going commando? Honest question. I am a guy.
You can attach a maxi pad to thong underwear and a thong can still absorb and contain vaginal secretions. A thong can keep you from being entirely exposed if you’re wearing a skirt and are planning on doing something that might result in you flashing someone (eg. anything that is not standing perfectly still on a flat opaque floor in a windless space).
posted by Secret Sparrow at 5:07 PM on June 29, 2019 [16 favorites]
You can attach a maxi pad to thong underwear and a thong can still absorb and contain vaginal secretions. A thong can keep you from being entirely exposed if you’re wearing a skirt and are planning on doing something that might result in you flashing someone (eg. anything that is not standing perfectly still on a flat opaque floor in a windless space).
posted by Secret Sparrow at 5:07 PM on June 29, 2019 [16 favorites]
what exactly is the purpose of a thong over going commando?
Well, honestly, there are several reasons. One key reason for wearing a thong or any underwear at all is to keep one's clothes clean. Bodies can often be, uh, unexpectedly leaky. Underwear contains that. Another reasons is that unlike going commando, thongs will keep unwanted things away from sensitive bits, which is critical if you are wearing non-bifurcated garments (such as a dress or a skirt). Sitting down on, say, a subway seat in a skirt without underwear on includes a whole lot more risks than engaging in the same act with some fabric between one's bits and the seat cooties. The final reason that I can think of is also related to wearing non-bifurcated garments. Imagine striding down the sidewalk in a dress, walking over a subway vent grate, and having one's dress fly up from the wind. In a thong, you are somewhat less scandalous (at least from the front).
posted by pleasant_confusion at 5:07 PM on June 29, 2019 [9 favorites]
Well, honestly, there are several reasons. One key reason for wearing a thong or any underwear at all is to keep one's clothes clean. Bodies can often be, uh, unexpectedly leaky. Underwear contains that. Another reasons is that unlike going commando, thongs will keep unwanted things away from sensitive bits, which is critical if you are wearing non-bifurcated garments (such as a dress or a skirt). Sitting down on, say, a subway seat in a skirt without underwear on includes a whole lot more risks than engaging in the same act with some fabric between one's bits and the seat cooties. The final reason that I can think of is also related to wearing non-bifurcated garments. Imagine striding down the sidewalk in a dress, walking over a subway vent grate, and having one's dress fly up from the wind. In a thong, you are somewhat less scandalous (at least from the front).
posted by pleasant_confusion at 5:07 PM on June 29, 2019 [9 favorites]
Cannot stand wedgies. Cannot stand them. That's all I can think of when I look at thongs is wedgies. But I also don't get the idea that somehow "granny panties" are supposed to be liberated either. Underwear for me is there to keep your clothes clean (I like to wear jeans more than once) and to avoid chafing of the sensitive bits (I like to wear jeans). So something that covers the entire underside seems most logical to me - bikinis work well.
posted by Peach at 5:17 PM on June 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Peach at 5:17 PM on June 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
As someone who doesn't understand the value of thongs or why people like them I'd be interested in someone explaining it to me
For some people, the string is like a constantly annoying wedgie and they're really uncomfortable. For others, the brain tunes its presence right out, and they're extremely comfortable. I know several women whose butt shapes/physical activity causes any underwear they wear to ride up badly, and they find thongs more comfortable than having something wider giving them a wedgie. The right fit, material, and size makes a big difference between whether they feel comfortable or whether a piece of lace is trying to cheese cutter its way through your butt.
Some people like how they look or the lack of VPL. Some people wear them because their partner likes how they look or because of peer pressure.
I agree with the author that the popularity of the cheeky cut is inexplicable, in that they tend to be the worst of both worlds.
posted by Candleman at 5:30 PM on June 29, 2019 [9 favorites]
For some people, the string is like a constantly annoying wedgie and they're really uncomfortable. For others, the brain tunes its presence right out, and they're extremely comfortable. I know several women whose butt shapes/physical activity causes any underwear they wear to ride up badly, and they find thongs more comfortable than having something wider giving them a wedgie. The right fit, material, and size makes a big difference between whether they feel comfortable or whether a piece of lace is trying to cheese cutter its way through your butt.
Some people like how they look or the lack of VPL. Some people wear them because their partner likes how they look or because of peer pressure.
I agree with the author that the popularity of the cheeky cut is inexplicable, in that they tend to be the worst of both worlds.
posted by Candleman at 5:30 PM on June 29, 2019 [9 favorites]
I can't stand wedgies either and as someone with a large bum, I get wedgies from ordinary underwear a lot. For a few years I wore thongs precisely because of this. There's so much less fabric in the thong string that the wedgie it creates is infinitely more comfortable than the one ordinary underpants create.
Then I found some brands of fuller coverage underwear that actually stays in place. (I think it corresponded with being able to afford to buy better underwear than the 5-for-$10 stuff).
posted by lollusc at 6:04 PM on June 29, 2019 [7 favorites]
Then I found some brands of fuller coverage underwear that actually stays in place. (I think it corresponded with being able to afford to buy better underwear than the 5-for-$10 stuff).
posted by lollusc at 6:04 PM on June 29, 2019 [7 favorites]
For me the thong just seems like a bacterial highway from the butthole to the vagina. It doesn't matter how clean you wash your butthole, it is not hermetically sealed. I would have to guess that thong wearers are more likely to get infections.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 6:13 PM on June 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 6:13 PM on June 29, 2019 [4 favorites]
Though this experiment is only as long as the amount of thongs I currently own (7), on the eighth day, when wearing regular underpants, I wish that this could last forever.
Someone tell her about doing laundry.
posted by penguin pie at 6:25 PM on June 29, 2019 [28 favorites]
Someone tell her about doing laundry.
posted by penguin pie at 6:25 PM on June 29, 2019 [28 favorites]
what exactly is the purpose of a thong over going commando?
I can only speak for myself and possibly other people with vaginas, but, to be frank: discharge.
posted by augustimagination at 6:50 PM on June 29, 2019 [15 favorites]
I can only speak for myself and possibly other people with vaginas, but, to be frank: discharge.
posted by augustimagination at 6:50 PM on June 29, 2019 [15 favorites]
A poem I heard on some public radio show once, I might be paraphrasing a bit:
In my youth
I was tormented
By the thought of a wedgie.
As an adult
I am taunted
by thongs.
posted by hippybear at 7:06 PM on June 29, 2019 [5 favorites]
In my youth
I was tormented
By the thought of a wedgie.
As an adult
I am taunted
by thongs.
posted by hippybear at 7:06 PM on June 29, 2019 [5 favorites]
I’m not much of a thong wearer, but granny panties that go up above the bellybutton sound horribly uncomfortable. Was that an exaggeration?
I choose undies that fit well and don’t have elastic around their openings. The goal is for them to stay on without digging into any of my body parts.
posted by mantecol at 7:43 PM on June 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
I choose undies that fit well and don’t have elastic around their openings. The goal is for them to stay on without digging into any of my body parts.
posted by mantecol at 7:43 PM on June 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
I'm a dude and I find the boxer brief to be the most comfortable underwear. And I've heard of women wearing them too for comfort. Is that a thing, or is that just these couple of women I've met?
posted by hippybear at 7:55 PM on June 29, 2019
posted by hippybear at 7:55 PM on June 29, 2019
I sometimes wear boxer briefs under skirts in summer, although I prefer traditional boxers.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:07 PM on June 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:07 PM on June 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
What I learned from talking to an older woman who was once skinny and now is not:: a thong is much more comfortable when you don't have that much flesh on the posterior. If your buttocks don't rub together much, then thongs don't feel like such a constant wedgie .
As I have never been skinny (passing directly from chubby childhood into zaftig adulthood), narrow, wedgie-prone underwear is bad enough; I could never handle the irritation of a thong. Even just reading the article I kept imagining the low-grade torture.
posted by jb at 8:15 PM on June 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
As I have never been skinny (passing directly from chubby childhood into zaftig adulthood), narrow, wedgie-prone underwear is bad enough; I could never handle the irritation of a thong. Even just reading the article I kept imagining the low-grade torture.
posted by jb at 8:15 PM on June 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
taunted by thongs.
I believe that's the title of Tim Cahill's next adventure-travel book.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:18 PM on June 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
I believe that's the title of Tim Cahill's next adventure-travel book.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:18 PM on June 29, 2019 [3 favorites]
MetaFilter: just seems like a bacterial highway from the butthole to the vagina.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:17 PM on June 29, 2019 [13 favorites]
posted by kirkaracha at 10:17 PM on June 29, 2019 [13 favorites]
i'm constantly and at all times deeply concerned with how bad metafilter seems to be at not being covered in poop? this comes up so often? why? is everyone okay?
the way to not get poop on yourself is to clean the poop zone after pooping, that's it, that's the whole thing. anything else is a medical issue, not a fashion one.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:58 PM on June 29, 2019 [49 favorites]
the way to not get poop on yourself is to clean the poop zone after pooping, that's it, that's the whole thing. anything else is a medical issue, not a fashion one.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:58 PM on June 29, 2019 [49 favorites]
I would honestly like to derail this conversation to investigate the fact that there are folks walking around with poo on the outside. On the very rare occasion I haven’t thoroughly cleaned myself, I have felt unbearably itchy and slightly sore and I have taken care of that (literal) shit immediately.
On topic, this article felt just as foreign to me as the poo being missed after toileting: thongs don’t work with my body, which euphemistically some might call curvy but more accurately has rolls and a lot of surface area. I loved the first comment on Jezebel of someone saying that wearing a thong means they’d get their skirt between their butt cheeks in an awful wedgie.
My BFF wears them exclusively, we are shaped about as differently as two people can be, so it makes sense we have different underwear needs. I am also very sensitive to the feeling of clothing so I always wear a tank top tucked into my briefs, I can’t stand jeans or even my underwear waistband most of the time so I like to have a barrier and I don’t think that’d work at all in a thong. It’s admissions like these that make me thank god I’m in a committed relationship because my style is the opposite of thongs on the conventionally-sexy-underthings meter.
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 11:32 PM on June 29, 2019 [5 favorites]
On topic, this article felt just as foreign to me as the poo being missed after toileting: thongs don’t work with my body, which euphemistically some might call curvy but more accurately has rolls and a lot of surface area. I loved the first comment on Jezebel of someone saying that wearing a thong means they’d get their skirt between their butt cheeks in an awful wedgie.
My BFF wears them exclusively, we are shaped about as differently as two people can be, so it makes sense we have different underwear needs. I am also very sensitive to the feeling of clothing so I always wear a tank top tucked into my briefs, I can’t stand jeans or even my underwear waistband most of the time so I like to have a barrier and I don’t think that’d work at all in a thong. It’s admissions like these that make me thank god I’m in a committed relationship because my style is the opposite of thongs on the conventionally-sexy-underthings meter.
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 11:32 PM on June 29, 2019 [5 favorites]
I always thought that not having poo on the toilet paper (and by extension, not on the underwear, whatever shape it may take) was a sign that you were successfully done with the act, and that if there was a mark when wiping, that you weren't really finished...
The butt-flossing factor is a no-go to me. Hemorrhoids much?
posted by batter_my_heart at 11:34 PM on June 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
The butt-flossing factor is a no-go to me. Hemorrhoids much?
posted by batter_my_heart at 11:34 PM on June 29, 2019 [2 favorites]
Increasingly convinced lots of us are just actively leaking a little poop all the time, and that's fine because it's ok to be you and me and all god's critters need love or something.
I've never worn a thong, and I wonder what I'm missing.
posted by aspersioncast at 11:37 PM on June 29, 2019
I've never worn a thong, and I wonder what I'm missing.
posted by aspersioncast at 11:37 PM on June 29, 2019
it's not okay, it's a legit medical issue! If You Are Leaking Poop On A Regular Basis Please See Your Physician!
posted by poffin boffin at 12:27 AM on June 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 12:27 AM on June 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
I started because they fit better under biking shorts than tighty whities
Slight derail but: if you're riding a bike with proper (padded) shorts, don't wear anything under them. It's for the best.
On the poop issue: most men and some women are pretty hairy back there and getting totally clean is not easy. (If I could transfer my hair loss from my head to my ass crack I totally would.)
posted by klanawa at 12:35 AM on June 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
Slight derail but: if you're riding a bike with proper (padded) shorts, don't wear anything under them. It's for the best.
On the poop issue: most men and some women are pretty hairy back there and getting totally clean is not easy. (If I could transfer my hair loss from my head to my ass crack I totally would.)
posted by klanawa at 12:35 AM on June 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
I always thought that not having poo on the toilet paper (and by extension, not on the underwear, whatever shape it may take) was a sign that you were successfully done with the act, and that if there was a mark when wiping, that you weren't really finished...
It's like I'm wiping a marker or something...
posted by Pendragon at 1:34 AM on June 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
It's like I'm wiping a marker or something...
posted by Pendragon at 1:34 AM on June 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
Have you guys heard of bathing
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 1:45 AM on June 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 1:45 AM on June 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
it's not okay, it's a legit medical issue! If You Are Leaking Poop On A Regular Basis Please See Your Physician!
Chances are a doctor will just tell you to live with it.
posted by Dysk at 1:54 AM on June 30, 2019 [10 favorites]
Chances are a doctor will just tell you to live with it.
posted by Dysk at 1:54 AM on June 30, 2019 [10 favorites]
> "For me the thong just seems like a bacterial highway from the butthole to the vagina."
I am perplexed by what you think a thong is.
posted by kyrademon at 2:01 AM on June 30, 2019 [8 favorites]
I am perplexed by what you think a thong is.
posted by kyrademon at 2:01 AM on June 30, 2019 [8 favorites]
Or what all other underwear is.
posted by Etrigan at 4:46 AM on June 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 4:46 AM on June 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
I only ever wear thongs. I’ve been fat and I’ve been thin but no matter where the rest of the fat on my body is or isn’t my bum is big. The first time I tried a thong was a revelation. “You mean I don’t have to spend all day hoiking down my knickers?? Sign me up!” I put them on and they stay where they are and I am free. Free I tells ya! I learned how to my wipe my butt after pooping approximately aged 3 what can I tell you? I am not prone to infections, thanks for asking. I have no desire to go commando and have my jeans chafe my vulva in a society where I’m not allowed to spread my legs on public transport or put my hands anywhere near my crotch region in plain sight. I’m not afraid of VPL but I don’t like it - to steal from Caitlin Moran I don’t want my buttocks to be bifurcated. Think that covers it all.
Next up in the series: Why Do Men Wear The Undercrackers They Choose And Can We Judge Them For It.... oh hang on I just heard that one got cancelled cos no one gives a tiny rat’s fart lets do “Stockings: Do They Sufficiently Air Your Bits or Are You A Rube to the Porn Aesthetic” instead
posted by billiebee at 5:22 AM on June 30, 2019 [22 favorites]
Next up in the series: Why Do Men Wear The Undercrackers They Choose And Can We Judge Them For It.... oh hang on I just heard that one got cancelled cos no one gives a tiny rat’s fart lets do “Stockings: Do They Sufficiently Air Your Bits or Are You A Rube to the Porn Aesthetic” instead
posted by billiebee at 5:22 AM on June 30, 2019 [22 favorites]
I swear to god I read an article in like 2005 that thongs do cause bacteria to travel from the butt to vagina. No matter how well clean you feel it is still a piece of string directly against your butthole.
That said, I switched to men's boxer briefs a year ago and threw out all of my other underpants. I usually wear these. My bloodline is blessed with booty--even when I weighed 119 lb I was large-hipped and assed--and now I weigh much more than that. Men's boxer briefs never, ever cause a wedgie, they don't fall down, they help with thigh chafe, they're cheaper, and they're generally better constructed.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:46 AM on June 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
That said, I switched to men's boxer briefs a year ago and threw out all of my other underpants. I usually wear these. My bloodline is blessed with booty--even when I weighed 119 lb I was large-hipped and assed--and now I weigh much more than that. Men's boxer briefs never, ever cause a wedgie, they don't fall down, they help with thigh chafe, they're cheaper, and they're generally better constructed.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:46 AM on June 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
I can't unlearn this quote. And you are all correct you heard it before. One gynecologist likened a thong to a subway car transporting bacteria from the rectum to the vagina.
posted by agregoli at 5:56 AM on June 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by agregoli at 5:56 AM on June 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
In the 90's on 11th St in South Miami Beach, I saw a queer lawyer, purportedly in some trouble with the mob at the time, on black roller skates wearing a red thong. I was in a Haitian owned cd record/dress shop and the woman tending the store at the time ran into the street and laughed so infectiously loud that I almost lost it.
PS I can't believe that Versani right next door is still there!
posted by DJZouke at 6:05 AM on June 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
PS I can't believe that Versani right next door is still there!
posted by DJZouke at 6:05 AM on June 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Undercrackers
This has been one of my favorite words ever since I first heard it.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:31 AM on June 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
This has been one of my favorite words ever since I first heard it.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:31 AM on June 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
Commando
posted by Ideefixe at 7:17 AM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Ideefixe at 7:17 AM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
I say again, "Commando."
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:05 AM on June 30, 2019
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:05 AM on June 30, 2019
Sometimes in books, someone is described as going commando and it's supposed to be sexy. But I just keep thinking - this just means your trousers are getting dirtier!
posted by jb at 8:10 AM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by jb at 8:10 AM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Y'all have convinced me to avoid any and all rotary treadmill-thongs.
posted by kyrademon at 8:22 AM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by kyrademon at 8:22 AM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Oh hey a g-string thread, this should be fun
*poo-bacteria-highway to the vag*
welp
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:26 AM on June 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
*poo-bacteria-highway to the vag*
welp
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:26 AM on June 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
This conversation took a funky turn.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:55 AM on June 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:55 AM on June 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
Re Poop: Beavis and Butthead once had a conversation about wiping yourself clean. Beavis told Butthead that he had poop still on his pants or somewhere and Butthead answered that he "was in a hurry".
posted by DJZouke at 10:13 AM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by DJZouke at 10:13 AM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
TIL: some people here apparently take baths or showers each time they poo, like in port-a-potties or railway station toilets? Or maybe they only poo at home? I have read articles from people who refuse to travel because of this.
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 10:44 AM on June 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 10:44 AM on June 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
Thanks for the answer to my commando comparisons above. Discharge makes sense. I assumed they were too small to accomplish anything regarding holding pads in place. Ditto for protecting butts somehow, I still don't see how a string protects ones butt but I cede the point to those more experienced than I.
What a discussion indeed.
posted by RolandOfEld at 11:34 AM on June 30, 2019
What a discussion indeed.
posted by RolandOfEld at 11:34 AM on June 30, 2019
In conclusion, Metafilter butts are a land of contrast.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:49 AM on June 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Chrysostom at 11:49 AM on June 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
You could say that when it comes to butts, people are split.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:09 PM on June 30, 2019 [18 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:09 PM on June 30, 2019 [18 favorites]
The truth is somewhere in the middle.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 12:17 PM on June 30, 2019 [16 favorites]
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 12:17 PM on June 30, 2019 [16 favorites]
Another reasons is that unlike going commando, thongs will keep unwanted things away from sensitive bits, which is critical if you are wearing non-bifurcated garments (such as a dress or a skirt). Sitting down on, say, a subway seat in a skirt without underwear on includes a whole lot more risks than engaging in the same act with some fabric between one's bits and the seat cooties.
posted by Secret Sparrow at 12:26 PM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
I still don't see how a string protects ones butt but I cede the point to those more experienced than I.It makes a lot more sense when you consider that the "sensitive bits" in question are not just our butts. I do not want to have my labia smooshed up against the vinyl seat of a city bus or any other public seating for that matter.
posted by Secret Sparrow at 12:26 PM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Fundoshi are much more comfortable than they look. There's a "just right" fabric thickness though - too thick and the butt part feels like sitting on a rope, too thin and it's floss. They also don't fall off or come untied, like it might look like would happen all the time.
Feels a little un-economical to need six yards of fabric for one undergarment though.
posted by ctmf at 12:39 PM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Feels a little un-economical to need six yards of fabric for one undergarment though.
posted by ctmf at 12:39 PM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Feels a little un-economical to need six yards of fabric for one undergarment though.
Not to mention the question that occurred to me - "how the hell long does it take to un-do one of those things when you need to pee?"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:44 PM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Not to mention the question that occurred to me - "how the hell long does it take to un-do one of those things when you need to pee?"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:44 PM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Since I became a parent, I swear every conversation I walk into has something like a 90% chance of eventually turning into a conversation about poop.
I need someone who's actually insightful and influential to coin a Godwin style rule about this, so I can cite it to shut things down when necessary.
posted by Western Infidels at 12:49 PM on June 30, 2019
I need someone who's actually insightful and influential to coin a Godwin style rule about this, so I can cite it to shut things down when necessary.
posted by Western Infidels at 12:49 PM on June 30, 2019
Dance belts, as worn by male ballet dancers, cosplayers and equestrians (including me), usually have a thong back - not so much to keep VPL at bay but to provide enough tension to keep the genitals out of the way and under wraps.
Not really anything to do with the OP, but just FYI.
posted by GeorgeBickham at 1:22 PM on June 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
Not really anything to do with the OP, but just FYI.
posted by GeorgeBickham at 1:22 PM on June 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
This dude finds the article (as well as the one linked to) perplexing. I understood "Granny panties" to mean briefs (which come up to the navel, or even higher), or what most women wore up until the late 1960s, when the garter belts were abandoned and the shorter bikini became the norm. That word appears only once in the OP's article, ambiguously ('bikini brief') and not at all in the one it links to, in the NY Times, describing this new fashion trend. Does the Granny label now apply to any non-thong undies? What about 'boy shorts'? And how's this issue been playing out in Britain - do the women there shun "Granny Knickers"?
how the hell long does it take to un-do one of those things when you need to pee?
I've never worn a fundoshi but I imagine there's enough slack that you can just pull the frontal loincloth to the side for access, just as I do with my Y-fronts.
posted by Rash at 2:09 PM on June 30, 2019
how the hell long does it take to un-do one of those things when you need to pee?
I've never worn a fundoshi but I imagine there's enough slack that you can just pull the frontal loincloth to the side for access, just as I do with my Y-fronts.
posted by Rash at 2:09 PM on June 30, 2019
I also don't understand what granny panty means anymore because I always thought it meant the loose undershorts that my actual granny wore but then when I read Jezebel regularly it did seem to mean any underwear that covers your butt. There is such a thing as low-cut briefs with the elastic covered although not the easiest thing to find.
posted by bleep at 2:19 PM on June 30, 2019
posted by bleep at 2:19 PM on June 30, 2019
how the hell long does it take to un-do one of those things when you need to pee?
Ah, it falls apart pretty quick when you start untying. And with practice, tying it on is pretty fast. It's a little awkward to handle that long length without dragging it on a nasty bathroom floor or something, but I bet that's a matter of practice too.
The "H style" (ecchu) is even more quick to make and wear, and you can pee without untying it. Lacks the thong feature though.
posted by ctmf at 2:28 PM on June 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Ah, it falls apart pretty quick when you start untying. And with practice, tying it on is pretty fast. It's a little awkward to handle that long length without dragging it on a nasty bathroom floor or something, but I bet that's a matter of practice too.
The "H style" (ecchu) is even more quick to make and wear, and you can pee without untying it. Lacks the thong feature though.
posted by ctmf at 2:28 PM on June 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
MetaFilter: the poop zone
posted by loquacious at 9:33 PM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by loquacious at 9:33 PM on June 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
[…] every conversation I walk into has something like a 90% chance of eventually turning into a conversation about poop.
The Wordshore-Wallflower Law states that any given MetaFilter post will tend towards a poop mention unless a mod steps in.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:43 PM on June 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
The Wordshore-Wallflower Law states that any given MetaFilter post will tend towards a poop mention unless a mod steps in.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:43 PM on June 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
I do not understand how anyone can stand wearing either boxers or boxer briefs. I tried a couple of times and ugh. Like wearing shorts under your pants, hot, in the case of boxers bunched up, and all around awful.
You do you, but anything boxer adjacent confuses me at least as much as thongs.
posted by sotonohito at 7:02 AM on July 1, 2019
You do you, but anything boxer adjacent confuses me at least as much as thongs.
posted by sotonohito at 7:02 AM on July 1, 2019
Since I became a parent, I swear every conversation I walk into has something like a 90% chance of eventually turning into a conversation about poop.
I understand completely. Although these days with Fleebnork Jr. being 7 1/2, it's less to do with the logistical discussions (re: diapers/potty training) and more to do with butts and poop being the pinnacle of humor and culture.
posted by Fleebnork at 7:15 AM on July 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
I understand completely. Although these days with Fleebnork Jr. being 7 1/2, it's less to do with the logistical discussions (re: diapers/potty training) and more to do with butts and poop being the pinnacle of humor and culture.
posted by Fleebnork at 7:15 AM on July 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
You do you, but anything boxer adjacent confuses me at least as much as thongs.
My boys need a house
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:48 AM on July 1, 2019
My boys need a house
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:48 AM on July 1, 2019
People ask me why I wear a skirt when weather permits and I answer, "I don't like to feel crowded."
I have a special pair of underwear for long motorcycle rides. It's fairly thongy but there's a tube where the long dangly bit goes. The pouch pulls the scrotum up close so it doesn't get mashed against the seat, especially as the skin loosens up in the heat. So I can dress left or right as desired under the body armour and not wind up wincing everytime I have to apply the brakes.
When I describe it it's like OMG THAT IS SO KINKY but I'm like, seriously, really? It's a very practical way of dealing with an annoying quantity of excess flesh in a very cramped space. There's fabric to restrain without chafing, and it allows sweat to disperse.
I dunno. It's almost like repressive attitudes about sexuality have dictated practical underwear design for centuries. Naaahhhh.... that couldn't be it.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:45 AM on July 1, 2019 [3 favorites]
I have a special pair of underwear for long motorcycle rides. It's fairly thongy but there's a tube where the long dangly bit goes. The pouch pulls the scrotum up close so it doesn't get mashed against the seat, especially as the skin loosens up in the heat. So I can dress left or right as desired under the body armour and not wind up wincing everytime I have to apply the brakes.
When I describe it it's like OMG THAT IS SO KINKY but I'm like, seriously, really? It's a very practical way of dealing with an annoying quantity of excess flesh in a very cramped space. There's fabric to restrain without chafing, and it allows sweat to disperse.
I dunno. It's almost like repressive attitudes about sexuality have dictated practical underwear design for centuries. Naaahhhh.... that couldn't be it.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:45 AM on July 1, 2019 [3 favorites]
an annoying quantity of excess flesh in a very cramped space
braggart
posted by hippybear at 6:20 PM on July 1, 2019 [1 favorite]
braggart
posted by hippybear at 6:20 PM on July 1, 2019 [1 favorite]
TIL: some people here apparently take baths or showers each time they poo, like in port-a-potties or railway station toilets? Or maybe they only poo at home?
I #2 once a day; I shower everyday; generally the second thing immediately follows the first.
posted by Mitheral at 10:01 PM on July 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
I #2 once a day; I shower everyday; generally the second thing immediately follows the first.
posted by Mitheral at 10:01 PM on July 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
Metafilter: an annoying quantity of excess flesh in a very cramped space
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:47 PM on July 1, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:47 PM on July 1, 2019 [6 favorites]
I'm a very sweaty person and I couldn't do thongs or anything similar, my pants would just have big sweat spots where my butt cheeks are. Boxers are my preferred method of keeping a layer of sweat from soaking out to my pants. Of course on very hot days or when I'm in my snowboarding gear there's no stopping everything from getting damp.
posted by numaner at 4:11 PM on July 2, 2019
posted by numaner at 4:11 PM on July 2, 2019
The Wordshore-Wallflower Law states that any given MetaFilter post will tend towards a poop mention until a mod steps in poop.
posted by batter_my_heart at 9:39 AM on July 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by batter_my_heart at 9:39 AM on July 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
At the risk of disturbing people, a tip: if toilet paper isn't successful at removing all the poop, take a new wad of toilet paper, spit on it, wipe, repeat as necessary until clean. Why spit? It's a way to wet the toilet paper a very small amount, without soaking it, plus it's available to you even inside a bathroom stall.
posted by needs more cowbell at 8:31 PM on July 6, 2019
posted by needs more cowbell at 8:31 PM on July 6, 2019
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Overthonging a glute of behinds.
posted by chavenet at 2:26 PM on June 29, 2019 [31 favorites]