No thanks, I'm on Mineral Water.
July 11, 2002 8:10 AM   Subscribe

No thanks, I'm on Mineral Water. As the MeFi Meetup commences, the Atlantic Monthly offers some tips for teetotalers. And, hey...a designated driver is always a good thing, no? (via a&l daily)
posted by Ufez Jones (32 comments total)
Just figured since MeFi tends to be more Alco-centric, a rebuttal is appropriate. The pressures on people that don't drink, for whatever reason, must be large. And by the way, i have no agenda, as I do drink, and plan on doing so at the Dallas MeFi Meetup.
posted by Ufez Jones at 8:14 AM on July 11, 2002

Good call, Ufez. I've been on the wagon for just over a year now, and I'll need all the help I can get to resist the urge to drown the sorrows inflicted by drunken MeFite Londoners. Sadly, I don't even drive, so I will be completely useless, but at least now I know I can just give everyone four glasses of wine and put them to bed.
posted by stuporJIX at 8:19 AM on July 11, 2002

This seems as good a place as any to bring up something that's been bothering me lately. Last night, I was in WalMart (of all places) and I saw some of these wine charms. They're everywhere. Little bells or baubles, or things that say "Flirty".

My question is: who are all these fuckers that are misplacing their drinks so often that we have to devise a brand new geegaw for them? Seriously.
posted by ColdChef at 8:22 AM on July 11, 2002

Sorry. I'm drunk right now.
posted by ColdChef at 8:22 AM on July 11, 2002

I've seen those things in the SkyMall catalogs on airplanes. Just like everything else in those things, it's useless crap. I guess they figure that the lack of oxygen will make you want stuff.
posted by Ufez Jones at 8:24 AM on July 11, 2002

I won't be drinking at the Dallas Mefi Meetup, but that's because I'm preggers. :) My gods I miss a good martini. And red wine...I didn't even know you could have steak without red wine. As it turns out, you can, it's just not as much fun. And a cognac after a really fine dinner...ah, I do miss those.

But my doc scared me to sobriety with all the stats on fetal alcohol syndrome, so I'm good with being sober for the duration. :)

And wine charms...I have about 30 of them for parties. Mine were made by a friend of mine who makes stunning jewelry, so these are really exquisite. And yes, they really do come in handy at big parties where you're serving food and wine in a buffet fashion. People put their wine glasses down, then it's a challenge to figure out which glass is yours. But, with the little charms, you can spot and rescue your wine before it gets whisked away by some nefarious glass stealer. :)
posted by dejah420 at 8:28 AM on July 11, 2002

factoid: most strip clubs will give designated drivers free non-alcoholic drinks all night.

Thereby saving said designated driver's cash for, um, other possible expenditures.
posted by UncleFes at 8:30 AM on July 11, 2002

Dejah: I can't hate anything that you love. Therefore, you can buy me these as a wedding gift.
posted by ColdChef at 8:32 AM on July 11, 2002

Hell Fes, most bars I go to will do the same thing. Cokes, coffee, tea, etc.
posted by Ufez Jones at 8:32 AM on July 11, 2002

Not in St. Looey they don't!
posted by UncleFes at 8:34 AM on July 11, 2002

At the table take a glass of wine and just don't drink from it.

Hee hee!
posted by Marquis at 8:43 AM on July 11, 2002

Dejah: I can't hate anything that you love. Therefore, you can buy me these as a wedding gift. --ColdChef

I'll even do ya one better. :) I'll have the girl who made mine make you a set, then you'll have some totally original art that nobody else has. She and I can brainstorm about a fusion of Austin and NOL so as to create something totally groovy. She loves N'awlins and I love Austin...we should be able to come up with something original. :)

(But, you'll have to email me your address, as gifts are ever so difficult to do digitally.)
posted by dejah420 at 8:49 AM on July 11, 2002

My experience is a little different from the article: Most people have not a clue that you're not drinking. Drunk people don't care. People call me the morning after a party and ask, "Geez, are you as hungover as I am?" when I've had two ginger ales all night. The vast majority of people don't even understand the state of "not drinking": they respond to "No, thanks, I don't drink" with "Oh me neither, just beer and wine usually." Kind of hilarious.

Of course there are the small minority of people who are compelled to force the booze on you. It's my number one indicator of alcoholism in other people: they can't stand a person not drinking.

Anyway, I'll be the designated... err... cab-hailer at the Metafilter meet. I'll even count your drinks for you. ;)
posted by RJ Reynolds at 9:22 AM on July 11, 2002

Re: Wine charms.

Anyone who puts down their drink at a party deserves to lose it.

I just pack around an IV bottle on a rolling stand.

Note: The preceding was a totally false humorous statement. Most parties I attend are at homes with carpet, and a rolling stand would be useless.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:24 AM on July 11, 2002

The pressures on people that don't drink, for whatever reason, must be large.

Not really. I did have one waitress go "Just a Coke??" like it was the strangest thing she'd ever heard of, but I've never really felt like I had to drink.
posted by kindall at 9:34 AM on July 11, 2002

I don't do alcohol or coffee for that matter... and the hardest time I've ever had was on a holiday in Copenhagen where _everyone_ drinks coffee. My poor waitresses (who spoke English fluently) just couldn't understand that I wouldn't have a cup. So I just had them pour me one, and left it to rot on the table.

I had similar problems in Iceland, but nowhere near as pronounced.

Very funny... but not that fun.
posted by silusGROK at 9:50 AM on July 11, 2002

i grew up in one of those wacky religions where you don't drink and the church always had videos about peer pressure where kids would say "c'mon, just one. don't be a nerd. who cares if you have one drink? no one will know. everybody is doing it" and other such cliches, but in reality, whenever i told someone that i didn't drink, invariably they'd say "that's cool" and leave me alone. and these were teenagers! probably in typical teenage fashion, they were just thinking "more for me!" people seem to get more weird about it in adulthood. i was just talking about this with someone the other night and it seems to be a defensive reaction. the drinker thinks that the non-drinker is judging him/her. which probably stems from the issue that the drinker has with his/her own drinking.

so, now that i do drink i make sure that i bully and humiliate the sober ones so that i can feel better about my binges. ;-)
posted by witchstone at 9:52 AM on July 11, 2002

Four glasses of wine = sleep!

Screw clarity, that's disgusting.
posted by bittennails at 9:53 AM on July 11, 2002

you know, i'm glad someone has brought up the topic of the metafilter meetup, because i feel a need to put this out there (warning, early morning venting ahead):

the "possible" venues offered by *suck*.

c'mon, we live in san francisco, and our options are: a starbucks in novato? cafe cocomo (yeah, i'm not a huge salsa fan -- whattya going to do?)? FUCKING JACK IN THE BOX?

i thought venue voting would permit users to nominate a number of places and then decide among them -- at least, that's what one would assume from "we never force you to meet at a particular venue".

i guess there's always a catch.

i, for one, am now incredibly disappointed by what looked like a fun and workable website.

anyhow, i vote for meeting at ocean beach or golden gate park, and sticking it in the eye of all those (i'm sure, hard-working, and well-meaning folks -- BUT JACK IN THE BOX? JACK IN THE BOX WAS THE BEST YOU COULD DO IN ONE OF THE MOST CULTURALLY VIBRANT CITIES ON THE WEST COAST?) woefully clueless (but, again, i'm sure, very nice and upstanding) people over at meetup (who apparently really like jack in the box).

is there *any* sort of forum or way around this on meetup, and i'm just not seeing it? a way to add venues to the voting, mayhaps? maybe i'm complaining here for no reason (and if it was *you* that suggested jack in the box, or starbucks for that matter -- i profusely apologize for my rather pointed bile; but, man, JACK IN THE BOX? get out more, my friend.)
posted by fishfucker at 10:02 AM on July 11, 2002

(note to meetup guys: i know i'm bitching, and that it's partially on me for not suggesting any places at all -- so i've ran over there and suggested a number of SUPA-FUN locales for you all to replace the jack in the box entry with. please make a note of it.)
posted by fishfucker at 10:05 AM on July 11, 2002

hey fishfucker....we set up an e-mai list for the dallas crew and came up with some places on our own. before meetup even offered suggestions. and the places we came up with were much better anyways. screw 'em. go where you want to.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:26 AM on July 11, 2002

If you prefer meeting at a McDonald's, fishfucker, you'll have to travel to Copenhagen.
posted by G_Ask at 10:38 AM on July 11, 2002

I have to agree completely with fishfucker. The NYC Meetup sites are Starbucks or Cosi or Xando, which is maybe understandable considering that the Meetup people want to broker the event and get their cut...yet, I thought that the Meetup users were to choose their own locations and Meetup would then broker the event? I like the idea of us choosing our own sites like we do on MeTa...and also not necesarily going to the same place every week or month or whatever. Especially in a big city, we'd want to move the venue around the city, no?

Is Meetup is trying to insert themselves to do a function that the most vibrant communities already do for themselves?

I have to say that the Meetup Credits list is pretty impressive. A lot of interesting folks involved in that "little" startup.
posted by gen at 10:44 AM on July 11, 2002

and also not necesarily going to the same place every week or month or whatever. Especially in a big city, we'd want to move the venue around the city, no?

well, to be fair, they do say they change the venues every "meetup", but i'm wondering if they're just going to swap out to the starbucks in the financial district.

it looks like "Starbucks" appears on nearly every list, and if not starbucks, then "McDonald's". I'm just wondering where these meetup guys live. You "hand-picked 11,409 venues worldwide. "? Finding the starbucks and mickey d's in every town doesn't really strike me as handpicked.

anyhow; Ufez, putting together an email list makes a lot of sense (anyone want to put together one for a general bay area meet? if anyone else isn't particularly willing, i can probably put one together if contacted with your emails). but if you have to do this sort of workaround, the meetup site strikes me as essentially worthless. you'd think they'd try not to shoot themselves in the foot like this. I would be able to understand if it was a less populaced city, that they have no contact with, etc, but i scrolled through the options for the mefi stuff and pretty much ALL of the locations have one or two completely undesirable (ok, ok, to *me*, but i'm assuming the dislike of starbucks and mcdonalds is greater than 50% in the online world) venues. if they're trying to finesse this into some sort of business, they need to put out some money or some time and get some decent location editors.

of course, if their business plan is to get kickbacks from mcdonalds or something -- well, i don't know, but i'd guess they're headed for the pooper. i don't think people would put up with venues like that more than once. i'll wait till next month, however, before passing any more judgement (i think i've fufilled my whining quotient for the next month anyhow.)
posted by fishfucker at 10:58 AM on July 11, 2002

steering back towards the topic, a far more humorous seanbaby piece on alcohol and peer pressure.
posted by syn at 11:24 AM on July 11, 2002

Anti-drinking propaganda on the front page? Why thish ish againshtt every shingle princhiple FilaMelter...
posted by MiguelCardoso at 1:00 PM on July 11, 2002

I propose someone create FilaMelter versus the previously mentioned DrunkFilter. It's just that much more creative and easier to
posted by Ufez Jones at 2:06 PM on July 11, 2002

I prefer FetaMelter myself. Comes to my alco-heavy tongue much more naturally.
posted by youhas at 2:23 PM on July 11, 2002

You dirty MotherFilter.
posted by ColdChef at 2:24 PM on July 11, 2002

To my perfectly sober ears, FetaMelter sounds like some sort of sandwich made with salty Greek cheese.
posted by Dreama at 4:34 PM on July 11, 2002

FetaMelter sounds like some sort of sandwich made with salty Greek cheese

That sounds dreama.
posted by NortonDC at 6:25 PM on July 11, 2002

Being sober sucks sometimes because all the stuff that seems so hilarious to drinkers just passes me by. And being the designated driver really sucks because it seems as if the drinkers never want to leave and I just want out of there! But all the other stuff, the weight loss and wallet gain, not to mention the self-esteem and lack of depression makes it so worth it.
posted by Lynsey at 6:39 PM on July 11, 2002

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