Magneto-reluctance AND capacitive directance!
November 21, 2019 9:53 AM   Subscribe

"For a number of years now, work has been proceeding in order to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a transmission that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such an instrument is the turboencabulator.

It probably even has pin-flam-fastened pan traps at both maiden-apexes of the jim-joist.

The monologue is from the 2015 Amazon Prime TV series Patriot, and the history of turboencabulators goes back quite a ways indeed.
posted by Sokka shot first (31 comments total) 26 users marked this as a favorite
 
(This is my 101st post to the blue. 🎉)
posted by Sokka shot first at 9:55 AM on November 21, 2019 [9 favorites]


Nofer trunnions!
posted by Orange Pamplemousse at 10:04 AM on November 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


see also : Write Only Memory
posted by Dr. Twist at 10:07 AM on November 21, 2019 [8 favorites]


The Rockwell Retro Encabulator is my favorite for reasons I can't really qualify. I guess I just really like the guy's voice as well as the way he opens and closes the panels.
posted by komara at 10:16 AM on November 21, 2019 [13 favorites]


That's my favorite one too, komara. It's got the polished blandness of a real industrial promotional video and the guy sells it perfectly.
posted by dephlogisticated at 10:21 AM on November 21, 2019 [4 favorites]


The thing that really drives me up the wall is that I bet Geordi LaForge never once said any of these glorious words.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 10:43 AM on November 21, 2019 [2 favorites]




Does this obsolete the Interociter?
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 10:45 AM on November 21, 2019 [7 favorites]


Just did a search, I'm astonished to find no previouslies!

Prefabulated amulite is a normal part of my vocabulary.

[ETA: NM, missed Orange Pamplemousse's link. I KNEW I'd seen it mentioned in blue.]
posted by Horkus at 11:06 AM on November 21, 2019 [5 favorites]


Immanentize!
posted by genpfault at 11:08 AM on November 21, 2019 [4 favorites]


I'm still frammising the rheostat. Behind the times, I know.
posted by Splunge at 11:15 AM on November 21, 2019


"I'm sure the government will buy it."

Yep. And provide it to the Ukranians to defend their territory.
posted by hank at 11:23 AM on November 21, 2019


The arc of time leads us from The Jabberwocky to Turboencabulators to Frontier Psychiatrist, but let us not forget the contribution of Margarita Machines. It was fortuitous and collaborative nonsense that made our culture richer.
posted by Sterros at 12:40 PM on November 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


Back when I wrote for EngineerJobs.com, I took the opportunity to try and bring the Turboencabulator into the digital age.
posted by transitional procedures at 1:07 PM on November 21, 2019 [4 favorites]


The Rockwell Retro Encabulator yt is my favorite for reasons I can't really qualify. I guess I just really like the guy's voice as well as the way he opens and closes the panels.

I agree, but to me the biggest advantage it has over the original video linked here is that it never breaks and admits that it's a joke. It's played totally straight.
posted by billjings at 1:36 PM on November 21, 2019 [3 favorites]


Yay! I love turboretroencabulator videos!
All engineering companies should produce one. (Alright, my engineering company should produce one)

We have a real problem with sinusoidal deplanaration.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 1:44 PM on November 21, 2019 [5 favorites]


Speaking in tongues for the tech set.
posted by jamjam at 1:59 PM on November 21, 2019


Just read through the comments on OrangePamplemousse's [previously] link and laughed all over again. Some very fine ones.
posted by Pallas Athena at 2:45 PM on November 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


There's always time for turbo encabulator.

Copying the text/credits from the uploader of the original video:
This is the first time Turbo Encabulator was recorded with picture. I shot this in the late 70's at Regan Studios in Detroit on 16mm film. The narrator and writer is Bud Haggert. He was the top voice-over talent on technical films. He wrote the script because he rarely understood the technical copy he was asked to read and felt he shouldn't be alone. We had just finished a production for GMC Trucks and Bud asked since this was the perfect setting could we film his Turbo Encabulator script. He was using an audio prompter referred to as "the ear". He was actually the pioneer of the ear. He was to deliver a live speech without a prompter. After struggling in his hotel room trying to commit to memory he went to plan B. He recorded it to a large Wollensak reel to reel recorder and placed it in the bottom of the podium. With a wired earplug he used it for the speech and the "ear" was invented. Today every on-camera spokesperson uses a variation of Bud's innovation. Dave Rondot (me) was the director and John Choate was the DP on this production. The first laugh at the end is mine. My hat's off to Bud a true talent.
posted by LobsterMitten at 2:51 PM on November 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


Needs more monads.
posted by phooky at 3:46 PM on November 21, 2019


The missile knows where it is.
posted by lohmannn at 4:16 PM on November 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


Oh man, but wikipedia says the script for it is older - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turboencabulator:
The original technical description of the "turbo-encabulator" was written by British graduate student John Hellins Quick (1923-1991). It was published in 1944 by the British Institution of Electrical Engineers Students’ Quarterly Journal [in an article titled "The Turbo-Encabulator in Industry" by "J.H. Quick, Student"] as also noted by consulting firm Arthur D. Little in a 1995 reprint of Quick's description, and giving Quick's full name.

The earliest written U.S. source may have been in 1946, in an Arthur D. Little Industrial Bulletin. An early popular American reference to the turbo-encabulator appeared in an article by New York lawyer Bernard Salwen in Time on April 15, 1946. Part of Salwen's job was to review technical manuscripts. He was amused by the jargon and passed on the description from the Arthur D. Little pamphlet.

Time got with the gag, featuring the device in a May 6, 1946 issue, described as "An adjunct to the turbo-encabulator, employed whenever a barescent skor motion is required."
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:03 PM on November 21, 2019


And everyone has a plumbus in their home.
posted by fros1y at 7:07 PM on November 21, 2019 [1 favorite]




For some reason my team leads usually mark the turboencabulator and Forklift Driver Klaus as required training films.
posted by Kyol at 8:27 PM on November 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


I really hope that some of (words for) the parts and concepts in the various encabulators get thagomizered.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 9:24 PM on November 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


I thought sure this had been on the blue previously. All well, more time to enjoy it again. My favourite video in this vein is the one Jim Henson made for IBM featuring a prototype cookie monster
posted by Popular Ethics at 9:48 PM on November 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


I clicked on this FPP expecting Eric Lehnsherr content and I am deeply disappointed. But also this is really cool.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 9:53 PM on November 21, 2019


I love stuff like this. I've been working my way backwards through the LockPickingLawyer's videos, and while the jokes are juvenile in his April Fool's lockpicking vid, I was impressed by how this episode is indistinguishable from any of his other videos, a masterclass in deadpan. (The vid in the FPP brought the LPL video to mind.)
posted by maxwelton at 11:18 PM on November 21, 2019


You had me at “malleable logarithmic casing”.
posted by acb at 3:00 AM on November 22, 2019


The VXJunkies subreddit deserves its own FPP but the delta torsion they get on some of their rigs makes the turboencabulator look like a retroencabulator.
posted by Richard Saunders at 6:49 PM on November 23, 2019


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