"Ma'am, this is a Netflix"
December 6, 2019 11:06 AM   Subscribe

Netflix challenged the world to tell them something you can say during sex but also when you manage a brand twitter account. The Internet (and, by that, I mean, a bunch of brands) responded.
posted by hanov3r (67 comments total) 23 users marked this as a favorite
 
The future sucks.
posted by tobascodagama at 11:07 AM on December 6, 2019 [28 favorites]


Nope, burn it with fucking fire.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 11:12 AM on December 6, 2019 [10 favorites]


The entirety of retail capitalism could (should?) be run out of a single windowless compound and we'd be none the wiser.
posted by supercres at 11:15 AM on December 6, 2019 [4 favorites]


shuttttt the fuck up brands
posted by windbox at 11:17 AM on December 6, 2019 [13 favorites]


I can't believe it's not butter.
posted by chavenet at 11:17 AM on December 6, 2019 [5 favorites]


The best move is not to play.

Wizards of the Coast got themselves into some really hot water because Twitter's default display algorithm made it look like they replied to the top-level tweet with a photo of a Magic booster pack that says "13+".

In fact, this response was to a fan asking them why they hadn't made the obvious "tap" joke.

But for a few hours, a lot of people were wondering who the fuck was gonna get fired.

When the best-case scenario starts at "how do you do, fellow kids," why would you engage?
posted by explosion at 11:26 AM on December 6, 2019 [11 favorites]


This is much more palatable if I think of it as a bunch of social media people with terrible jobs trying to inject a little humor into their days than brands-as-entities trying to be cool. We’re all just trying to survive here, y’know?
posted by ActionPopulated at 11:27 AM on December 6, 2019 [84 favorites]


I kept seeing people on twitter seeming to say how great this was and knew it was just another sign of the end.
posted by bongo_x at 11:28 AM on December 6, 2019 [4 favorites]


something you can say during sex but also when you manage a brand twitter account.

We're All Family Here.
posted by mattdidthat at 11:30 AM on December 6, 2019 [6 favorites]


ActionPopulated is approaching it the way I'm trying to do so as well. The brands are acting horny but incapable of actually incapable of having sex because they are captured in a hellish existence wholly defined by capitalism which is actually pretty identifiable when I say it out loud.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:31 AM on December 6, 2019 [5 favorites]


If corporations are people the n the state should start executing some.
posted by The Whelk at 11:41 AM on December 6, 2019 [6 favorites]


This is all a part of the pathology of capitalism whereby things are personalized and people are thingified. It’s sick, not cute.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 11:42 AM on December 6, 2019 [19 favorites]


To mix up Mark Fisher and Terry Pratchet: the evil in our society treats things like people and people like things
posted by The Whelk at 11:45 AM on December 6, 2019 [19 favorites]


I'm amused. (Also, self-policing since 1999, humina humina.)
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:45 AM on December 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


This is much more palatable if I think of it as a bunch of social media people with terrible jobs trying to inject a little humor into their days than brands-as-entities trying to be cool. We’re all just trying to survive here, y’know?

As professionals, id expect them to know how to switch between accounts, unlike say Ted Cruz.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 11:46 AM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


Metafilter, Metafilter, we're doing it wrong. We're all supposed to be engaging with these brands and discussing which is our favorite! I'm partial to Denham's Dentifrice.

(Seriously, some of these are at least a little funny, but mostly because they reveal that behind the #Brand is some poor social media intern who is having the soul sucked out of them.)
posted by Nelson at 11:50 AM on December 6, 2019 [13 favorites]


Christ, what an asshole.
posted by slogger at 11:51 AM on December 6, 2019 [12 favorites]


If I have to see a brand twitter say "lit", "tea", "fam", "sis", "wig" one more damn time...
posted by FirstMateKate at 11:54 AM on December 6, 2019 [11 favorites]


When mastodon was still new, I was all over it. One of the fears was that the Brands would inevitably find it. I proposed attracting them in, having them Engage with thousands of bots, and then severing the federation links somehow, casting them adrift forever.
posted by jquinby at 12:03 PM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


hanov3r: "something you can say during sex but also when you manage a brand twitter account"

Where's the beef?
Billions and billions served
Have it your way
Fall in to the Gap
Think outside the bun
Just do it
It's the real thing
Coke adds life

et cetera et cetera ads infinitum
posted by chavenet at 12:04 PM on December 6, 2019 [7 favorites]


Prepare to die
posted by Dumsnill at 12:05 PM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


The corpse in the library: "I'm amused. (Also, self-policing since 1999, humina humina.)"

self-polishing, amirite?
posted by chavenet at 12:05 PM on December 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


Look at this absolute unit.
posted by Vesihiisi at 12:07 PM on December 6, 2019 [5 favorites]


The weird liminality of Brand Twitter is really kind of interesting to me in a way that doesn't make it any less sorta blech but does make the nature of the thing more complicated than more traditional flavors of corporate PR.

There's this juxtaposition of a very earned cynicism about the faux-populi presentation of what is probably pretty consistently high-touch deliberate marketing chaff as Just Some Brand Intern On Twitter, vs. the reality that it's still...somebody typing on twitter and trying to sort of play in a weird river that could suck them under pretty quick if things go sideways or land wrong.

Like, twitter stuff is both lower stakes and faster turnover than traditional advertising so the extent to which some of these brand exercises have a different feel and domain to them as far as how goofy or pseudo-folksy they'll be doesn't feel super surprising—compare the recent thread about that weird Peloton commercial, where the stakes of the marketing gambit feel a lot different because how much the ad is a significant product in its own right—but at the same time it's a lot more likely that some bit of brand engagement tweeting is gonna get ratioed, because...it's twitter. That's the water its swimming in.

I dunno. Brand stuff is odd and weird; I find myself both being willing to run a little with the kayfabe of chatty artificially informal stuff because the medium lends itself to taking it and running with it, and really empathize with the folks it gives hives to.
posted by cortex at 12:08 PM on December 6, 2019 [9 favorites]


On the one hand, yes, it's gross.
On the other, whoever is operating the netflix twitter account is on their game.
posted by simra at 12:09 PM on December 6, 2019 [9 favorites]


something you can say during sex but also when you manage a brand twitter account.

She Just Said My Name!

Hey, Peloton? Get at me. I can help.
posted by mattdidthat at 12:10 PM on December 6, 2019 [5 favorites]


@givebloodNHS is thought of as winning this one round these parts.

"It's just a little prick."
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 12:26 PM on December 6, 2019 [12 favorites]


Late stage capitalism is weird. But mostly this just makes me think how close we are to the Idiocracy "Fuddruckers" joke (youtube, nsfw-language) turning into reality.
posted by heyitsgogi at 12:26 PM on December 6, 2019 [4 favorites]


Also, this is cyberpuck as funk and not in a good way. Corporations promoting themselves and other corporations nakedly, without the fig leaves of pop culture, media or celebrities carrying their water? Well, they are capital-P People after all, as opposed to the rest of us ugly bags of mostly water.
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 12:36 PM on December 6, 2019 [7 favorites]


Nowadays, every time something makes me chuckle, I immediately head to metafilter to learn why it's actually a horrifying sign of the times
posted by captain afab at 12:39 PM on December 6, 2019 [58 favorites]


Christ, what an asshole.

I need cortex to reply to that thread from the Metafilter account with this.
posted by numaner at 12:39 PM on December 6, 2019 [10 favorites]


I can't believe I ate the whole thing.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:42 PM on December 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


"A horrifying sign of the times" would be a pretty good corporate tag line.
"Fifa 2020. An EA game. A horrifying sign of the times."
posted by Dumsnill at 12:48 PM on December 6, 2019 [4 favorites]


One the one hand, yes, this feels very cyberpunk and dystopian - to have brands making sex jokes with each other on twitter. On the other hand, this is a reminder that behind it all, there are people running the accounts who saw a chance, a moment, to both do their job and have a smile. On the gripping hand, some of the back and forth Netflix got into with the other brands are kinda funny.
posted by nubs at 12:57 PM on December 6, 2019 [10 favorites]


Oh my god, the PetCo response. *hork*
posted by loquacious at 1:04 PM on December 6, 2019


"You have my word on it." - Joe Isuzu
posted by zaixfeep at 1:08 PM on December 6, 2019


So...does PornHub have a Twitter account, and did they reply to this? I'd look myself, but I am at work.
posted by nubs at 1:09 PM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


they have not yet
posted by numaner at 1:18 PM on December 6, 2019


(Im memory of Roger Ebert and his one movie writing credit)

"Bentley...Bentley...BENTLEY!"
posted by zaixfeep at 1:18 PM on December 6, 2019


one assumes it is coming
posted by cortex at 1:27 PM on December 6, 2019 [4 favorites]


I like this, its funny. I said it.
posted by Justinian at 1:32 PM on December 6, 2019 [9 favorites]


I Regret To Inform You That The Brands Are At It Again
posted by ominous_paws at 2:06 PM on December 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


Corporations are narrow purpose AIs with faulty reward functions.
posted by signal at 2:53 PM on December 6, 2019 [8 favorites]


I'm embarrassed it took me this long to get it, but part of why this is fun is that the folks writing these replies are often breaking their own brand rules. They're making dirty jokes involving their brand, something most official marketing departments would almost certainly frown on. And typically the Official Rules for using a brand are very strongly stated and never to be broken. So the fun these social media interns are having is a little risky. I doubt anyone's gonna get fired over it, and the jokes tend to be pretty mild, but they are transgressive.

The light bulb went off when I saw Ubisoft's response, which is simply the word "Ubisoft". Hilarious, right? But think about that for a second. Ubisoft is equating their own brand not just with something sexual, but specifically with impotence. Pretty sure the only brands that want to be connected in any way to erectile dysfunction are the pharma companies selling pills that help with that problem. Definitely sure a gaming company doesn't want to be associated with metaphorical emasculation.

A lot of these responses have this flavor, the brands letting their hair down a bit and making a joke that'd normally be out of bounds. It's kind of interesting, really.
posted by Nelson at 3:05 PM on December 6, 2019 [8 favorites]


I'm embarrassed it took me this long to get it, but part of why this is fun is that the folks writing these replies are often breaking their own brand rules.

Look, I agree that brands talking cutely to each other on Twitter is a dystopian shit-toilet, I get it. I don't use social media in my personal life at all anymore, because it's all such a waste land now. But as somebody who actually replied with one of these today as the voice of my "brand" (and got a pretty positive response to it, fwiw), this is the answer. It's fun for the people managing the accounts; it's the sort of naughty fun that can be done in public and enjoyed by others as well; and in a weird paradox, it only worked because of how big it got. I wouldn't have been able to make the joke I made on a tweet with 10 replies -- it needed hundreds. That's also why my personal favorite was the one from Mane 'n Tail, which is vulgar as hell but also hilarious and somehow somebody was able to do it, and I love that person.
posted by penduluum at 3:21 PM on December 6, 2019 [10 favorites]


How about "Coca-cola"? Lol, my cock is cooler! (N.B. plz recognise Brand Coke when purchasing a beverage)
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 3:25 PM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


Nelson: "The light bulb went off when I saw Ubisoft's response, which is simply the word "Ubisoft"."

What did Microsoft say?
posted by chavenet at 3:28 PM on December 6, 2019 [5 favorites]


Okay, a little bit dystopian, but I work in corporate life and these social media josephinas don’t generally get to let their hair down. I laughed.

(So first up against the wall and all that?)
posted by frumiousb at 3:56 PM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


Y'all've been literally surrounded by branding and brand experiences since the moment you were born. Your education and job options are influenced by it, your food options are driven by it, your nights out with friends are determined by it. The technologies you use are based on it. But some nerds running their bosses' Twitter accounts happens to be the line that must not be crossed.

Okay.
posted by at by at 4:21 PM on December 6, 2019 [9 favorites]


> Y'all've been literally surrounded by branding and brand experiences since the moment you were born.

But you were raised on an isolated, brand-free planet?
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:24 PM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


honestly if @Metafilter wants to grow, we need some pervy tweet convo with @Netflix stat
posted by roger ackroyd at 5:25 PM on December 6, 2019 [3 favorites]


> But you were raised on an isolated, brand-free planet?

No, but I'm not the one getting wound up by corporate tweets acting silly.
posted by at by at 5:43 PM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


Could have fooled me.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 5:44 PM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


This is gold and I love it. Whenever I see any of these "brand" interactions on Twitter, I *only* think about them in terms of the social media people, who for the most part seem to be smart and with a great sense of humor. Good for them.
posted by Ender's Friend at 6:28 PM on December 6, 2019 [6 favorites]


ads by ad people on an ad platform
posted by doctorfrog at 9:33 PM on December 6, 2019 [1 favorite]


Irksome as this is, it's nowhere near the Oral History Of How The Oreo Marketing Gang Planned And Executed Their Dunk In The Dark Tweet, which for some reason they wrote up with the sense of second by second momentousness I would reserve for the moon landings.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 9:55 PM on December 6, 2019 [2 favorites]


Look, if the thread really needs a Galaxy-Brain Wake Up Sheeple take, I've gotta say that we cannot possibly believe these tweets are anything but happily signed off by corporate. We moved past the accounts being run by actual barely supervised, feisty, loose-cannon interns and on to them being run by corporate teams pretending to be those interns like, what, eight odd years ago at minimum?

The idea that this is loveable tomfoolery being done cheekily under the nose of the bosses is a Bad Take
posted by ominous_paws at 12:33 AM on December 7, 2019 [6 favorites]


yes it’s dystopian cyber punk weird and totally done with corporate approval but it is kinda funny.

it doesn’t make me want to buy those brands or even really remember them but it does remind me actual human people totally sold this scheme to their higher ups and that also cracks me up. it’s like saucy mad men.

if you’re gonna have to do social media for a job it’s still a living and heck why not have fun with it.

i hope the replies are making their colleagues giggle bc considering the shit they probably see come in via DMs and @ this is a nice diversion. (i have worked customer service and had to check our twitter bc people would often contact us there. it’s not all adorable gifs)
posted by affectionateborg at 3:09 AM on December 7, 2019 [3 favorites]


Three thoughts on this:

1. PetCo won that thread, hands down.

2. Smart, creative people often work in marketing and it's fun to see them be smart and creative, especially while subverting the traditional constraint of their roles.

3. Twitter isn't, like, mandatory. It's not a public utility. Seeing any of "Brand Twitter" is completely optional.
posted by mmcg at 3:38 AM on December 7, 2019 [1 favorite]


A local Cincinnati tv station claimed that a local brand's response 'did Cincinnati proud'.
posted by mmascolino at 6:07 AM on December 7, 2019


I'm with nubs, I saw that people running social media accounts who had a chance to have some fun. I rather liked this.
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 6:26 AM on December 7, 2019


This is much more palatable if I think of it as a bunch of social media people with terrible jobs trying to inject a little humor into their days than brands-as-entities trying to be cool.

Perhaps reading The definitive oral history of the Oreo ‘You can still dunk in the dark’ Super Bowl tweet might help cure you of that.
posted by straight at 10:44 AM on December 7, 2019 [4 favorites]


Is "smart, funny people in marketing" the new "brilliant artists in advertising"

At least it keeps them off Dave panel quizzes
posted by ominous_paws at 2:55 PM on December 7, 2019


I don't get the BUT THEY ARE ADS objections, really. Do you like movies? Funny movies? How many people were involved with and/or signed off on those scripts? Did you still laugh?

You fool! The studios just use the jokes to SELL MOVIE TICKETS! It's like a 90 minute ADVERTISEMENT for movie tickets! Ahah!
posted by Justinian at 2:56 PM on December 7, 2019 [3 favorites]


I don't understand the "dunk in the dark" thing. Was it supposed to be funny? Sexy? Why did anyone retweet (or whatever) it? Is it pun-based? I never get puns. WHAT IS THE POINT.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:04 PM on December 7, 2019 [1 favorite]


There was a big power outage during the Super Bowl.
posted by Justinian at 3:15 PM on December 7, 2019


And at the time, believe it or not, the idea of a corporate Twitter account using Twitter to tell a joke about what's happening on TV like a normal person would seemed surprising and funny to some people. So basically this is all their fault.
posted by straight at 4:35 PM on December 7, 2019


« Older If the new pill works as well in women as it does...   |   Whitman's Cane Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments